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Since I was a teenager, I have wanted to experience the pain and agony of crucifixion. I have been asking for a long time now for someone to put me up on a cross for a minimum of one hour, pain and suffering the full intent.

After all this time I've found a guy who has agreed to my terms. I'm set to be crucified over the Labor Day weekend here in the States. And today it hit me in the face.

I've spent a lot of time making sure he understands that I'm in this for the pain and suffering, not just the eroticism. I'e also made it painfully clear (pun intended) that when I say I want him to hang me on the cross for a minimum of one hour, that means 60 minutes or more - not 59 minutes. He's agreed wholeheartedly to that.

Today, I had to tell him that I'm beginning to feel like a condemned man. I'm beginning to feel and understand the thoughts that go through a condemned man's brain as he awaits his date with the wood. On one hand, since I know I'm not going to die on the cross, it's exciting to face it. But on the other hand, as I know that there is going to be pain involved, the likes of which I've never experience before, it's got me scared. The two feelings are mutually exclusive of each other, either.

As I counted down the days today (there are 51 days left until I make the trek), the realization hit me that I'm counting the days exactly as a condemned criminal would. And *THAT* sort of scares me and excites me even more.

There will be pictures of me hanging, at the very least. There may be a video if we can figure out how to do that.
 
Since I was a teenager, I have wanted to experience the pain and agony of crucifixion. I have been asking for a long time now for someone to put me up on a cross for a minimum of one hour, pain and suffering the full intent.

After all this time I've found a guy who has agreed to my terms. I'm set to be crucified over the Labor Day weekend here in the States. And today it hit me in the face.

I've spent a lot of time making sure he understands that I'm in this for the pain and suffering, not just the eroticism. I'e also made it painfully clear (pun intended) that when I say I want him to hang me on the cross for a minimum of one hour, that means 60 minutes or more - not 59 minutes. He's agreed wholeheartedly to that.

Today, I had to tell him that I'm beginning to feel like a condemned man. I'm beginning to feel and understand the thoughts that go through a condemned man's brain as he awaits his date with the wood. On one hand, since I know I'm not going to die on the cross, it's exciting to face it. But on the other hand, as I know that there is going to be pain involved, the likes of which I've never experience before, it's got me scared. The two feelings are mutually exclusive of each other, either.

As I counted down the days today (there are 51 days left until I make the trek), the realization hit me that I'm counting the days exactly as a condemned criminal would. And *THAT* sort of scares me and excites me even more.

There will be pictures of me hanging, at the very least. There may be a video if we can figure out how to do that.
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Aqualaguy,
I will do my utmost to see that you are not disappointed. You will suffer, that's a given. No matter how badly you panic, and then
plead, cajole, bargain, curse me, pretend to be dying, threaten to sue me or kill me, I will keep you hanging on the cross for a full hour and then, well, that will be up to me, won't it?!
This is my solemn pledge to you. I deeply understand this need of yours because it was my desperate need for years and years until someone finally had mercy on me and did it to me. It didn't end my love for crucifixion as I thought it might, but the deep satisfaction of knowing first-hand the agony, panic, exhaustion, and despair of really being crucified took away my desperation. I hope I can at least do that for you. Maybe in the future, you will be able to visit and we can explore other ways to hang. I especially enjoy being cruxed with my arms tied over the patibulum. This is how I was hung when I finally got left a long time past when I panicked; and when I pleaded to be let down, he took the flogger to my naked body and tormented me in other ways.
You and I have worked out enough details for me to be confident we will meet your need safely and sanely, though there would be those who would question the latter.
Best,
Reb
 
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