So my view on crucifixion has changed

Sexitus Bacilus · Sep 25, 2019

So we are all here because we have some type of interest/fascination with crucifixion. At one time I actually entertained it might be sexy to be impaled on the cross with my breasts and crotch on display (I would never actually do it but admit I had some fantasies about it) Now, and especially after researching for “The Object Lesson” I look on it with horror! Thinking about what would happen to a person impaled with shredded nerves sending pain, agony and torment into ones spinial column and back, I just can’t see how it is sexy.

Part of that realization comes from a recent ulnar Nerve injury I suffered when I fell on our boat. The pain from a mere elbow injury shot into my back and left shoulder with such agony that I couldn’t do anything for two weeks. Trust me my husband and I weren’t having sex during my recovery because I couldn’t lay flat (or any other position for that matter) even if I felt sexy! Now multiply that by shooting pain from two arms and two ankles ravaging ones back, let alone breathing, etc, and I just can’t see how anyone can really be thinking about sex with that much torment!

I tried to capture those thoughts in “The Object Lesson.” So your thoughts?

Praefectus Praetorio · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
So we are all here because we have some type of interest/fascination with crucifixion. At one time I actually entertained it might be sexy to be impaled on the cross with my breasts and crotch on display (I would never actually do it but admit I had some fantasies about it) Now, and especially after researching for “The Object Lesson” I look on it with horror! Thinking about what would happen to a person impaled with shredded nerves sending pain, agony and torment into ones spinial column and back, I just can’t see how it is sexy.

Part of that realization comes from a recent ulnar Nerve injury I suffered when I fell on our boat. The pain from a mere elbow injury shot into my back and left shoulder with such agony that I couldn’t do anything for two weeks. Trust me my husband and I weren’t having sex during my recovery because I couldn’t lay flat (or any other position for that matter) even if I felt sexy! Now multiply that by shooting pain from two arms and two ankles ravaging ones back, let alone breathing, etc, and I just can’t see how anyone can really be thinking about sex with that much torment!

I tried to capture those thoughts in “The Object Lesson.” So your thoughts?

Although I share a bit of the crux interest, it has never been my core interest. I prefer good old fashioned torture with the victim surviving. But I have enjoyed stories like The Scapegoat and find fantasizing a beautiful girl suffering on a cross erotic. But, I don't let myself dwell on the the kind of pain you describe not on the permanent injury or death.

I think any "normal" (it's just a setting on the washing-machine) person will have "some" squeamishness about Crux. I have squeamishness about the whole idea of sexually enjoying another's suffering - although I certainly do - read any of my writings.

As a result, I just bumble along conflicted and confused. But I'm hooked on this site (actually on those here that I would like to have as friends) and can't stop coming here.

old slave · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
So your thoughts?

I too didn't join because of a pre-existing love of crux, more because it was extreme BDSM. I've written stories where crux happened, one to death (but it happened 'off-stage'), some as a non-lethal pain/humiliation punishment, and one non-lethal for sexual pleasure. I don't find graphic descriptions of the pain erotic, and have no way of knowing how they would feel; was your description based on your experience alone, or inspired by other writers' decriptions of crux?

For me, characters' emotions before, during and after are paramount. The opening chapters of "The Object Lesson" were chilling.

As for victims sexual feelings, I agree in a nailed scene probably impossible to have erotic thoughts, though whether external stimulus could force an orgasm, I have no idea. But thinking of short-term, roped/cuffed crux, the erotic aspect could be intense.

Apostate · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
So we are all here because we have some type of interest/fascination with crucifixion. At one time I actually entertained it might be sexy to be impaled on the cross with my breasts and crotch on display (I would never actually do it but admit I had some fantasies about it) Now, and especially after researching for “The Object Lesson” I look on it with horror! Thinking about what would happen to a person impaled with shredded nerves sending pain, agony and torment into ones spinial column and back, I just can’t see how it is sexy.

Part of that realization comes from a recent ulnar Nerve injury I suffered when I fell on our boat. The pain from a mere elbow injury shot into my back and left shoulder with such agony that I couldn’t do anything for two weeks. Trust me my husband and I weren’t having sex during my recovery because I couldn’t lay flat (or any other position for that matter) even if I felt sexy! Now multiply that by shooting pain from two arms and two ankles ravaging ones back, let alone breathing, etc, and I just can’t see how anyone can really be thinking about sex with that much torment!

I tried to capture those thoughts in “The Object Lesson.” So your thoughts?

SB, my interest in crux is exclusively as a spectator with an erection.

Late on an honest-to-God dark and stormy night in March 2002 I was a stressed out post-9/11 guy in the Bronx who, for reasons that still resist analysis, googled "crucified women." And she popped up

Her name is Irina, she was one of Makar's early models, I found and still find the picture a screamingly intense turn-on, and it woke me up to a fetish I didn’t know I had.

You vividly imagine what the pain of crucifixion would be like, and you are correct. Like a lot of people into this kink I’ve researched crucifixion far more than is necessary or wise, and know precisely how unspeakably, obscenely awful it was.

Knowing that, I still get off on pictures women nailed naked and screaming to crosses. Even in fantasy only, at a remove of at least two millennia, that’s still all kinds of creepy. And I long ago quit wondering why. I simply do.

(Artists' names upon request.)

windar · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
So we are all here because we have some type of interest/fascination with crucifixion.

All sentences beginning with "all" are false.

OK, not all, but most.

Apostate said:
Late on an honest-to-God dark and stormy night in March 2002 I was a stressed out post-9/11 guy in the Bronx who, for reasons that still resist analysis, googled "crucified women."

Barb and I will have to consider you a murder suspect now :popcorn:

My non-interest in crux is well documented here. It's hard for me to say how much of that derives from the religious element. Maybe I'd like it more if it weren't the symbol of a major world religion. I have included it in a few stories, partly because I don't necessarily limit myself to my own personal fantasies. I like to play with ideas that others here might enjoy. For example I wrote a story on medical scarring of the clitoris-yes this was really done in the late 19th century as a "cure" for masturbation. Does this turn me on? Nope, but I enjoyed writing the story and a lot of people here liked it, including the person who requested it. It's also a convenient plot device to have the victim hanging around while rescuers search madly to find them...

As for pain, no it isn't sexy, not in the least. I don't enjoy experiencing it, nor inflicting it even in fantasy. The eroticism is really about dominance and submission and the pain is really a symbol of that- I have the power to hurt you and you are destined to suffer. Which is why there are no stories here about car accidents or cancer, despite the pain they cause, because they lack that element (and yes I have heard that there are people who find car accidents a turn on, but they may too niche even for here)...

So, the eroticism has little to do with the severity of the pain inflicted. A mild spanking can be very erotic or dull as dishwater depending on how it's written and the same with a crucifixion. It's all in the interplay between the people...

Darkprincess69 · Sep 25, 2019

For me, this website and the great community it supports is about FAR more than just crux. For me, crux is an interesting subject but the real reason I'm here is for the more general BDSM content. While non-lethal crux can be a part of this, it's never been my main focus, beyond viewing artwork and reading stories. As a non-religious lesbian, crux lacks the theological element that attracts many of the members here to it but I just find it interesting in a bondage-erotica kind of way.

I don't think you'll find too many people in here that would ever want to do traditional Roman crux (nails, blood and death) for real - Sure we get the odd individual - often a new member - who asks about this stuff but I think they're quite surprised when they discover that very few of the long-term members here are interested in such extremes.

I think I speak for 99% of the people in here that crux just forms one aspect of an erotic fantasy, and nothing more and nothing less

cynthia the inocent · Sep 25, 2019

I agree completely with what Darkprincess69 said. I didn't know there was a fascination with crux until I stumbled into this site, looking for BDSM. I love the sexual and humiliation of being naked and abused but have no death wish

Sexitus Bacilus · Sep 25, 2019

Thank you all for your replies, I have read too many stories where the individual, usually a young woman, is fantasizing about the cross and the sexual aspect of it and it those stories which prompted my post, and compelled me to write “The Object Lesson” as my counter view to those stories.

So I do appreciate all of your replies and hope this thread lives on.

windar · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
hank you all for your replies, I have read too many stories where the individual, usually a young woman, is fantasizing about the cross and the sexual aspect of it and it those stories which prompted my post, and compelled me to write “The Object Lesson” as my counter view to those stories.

I don't go for stories or graphics that show victims desperate to be crucified so they can achieve "The best orgasm of their lives". Maybe if they stayed alive, they'd find even better ones down the road (perhaps with yours truly).

I did write a story about a real historical person who was drawn to crucifixion because she believed she was Jesus re-incarnated in female form. There may have been a sexual element, but it's not stated obviously. You might enjoy it; it's rather a unique story http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/the-real-historical-female-jesus.5775/

Apostate · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
Thank you all for your replies, I have read too many stories where the individual, usually a young woman, is fantasizing about the cross and the sexual aspect of it and it those stories which prompted my post, and compelled me to write “The Object Lesson” as my counter view to those stories.

You sound like you’ve at least skimmed Markus' cross-as-orgasmatron thread

Pleasure In Suffering

My latest work

www.cruxforums.com

with which for a long time I had no patience. But when he’s not doing breast mutilation he really is one of the best crux artists out there.

Barbaria1 · Sep 25, 2019

So many good comments here, all of which I find myself in agreement with ... nice discussion all.

poem21045 · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
So we are all here because we have some type of interest/fascination with crucifixion. At one time I actually entertained it might be sexy to be impaled on the cross with my breasts and crotch on display (I would never actually do it but admit I had some fantasies about it) Now, and especially after researching for “The Object Lesson” I look on it with horror! Thinking about what would happen to a person impaled with shredded nerves sending pain, agony and torment into ones spinial column and back, I just can’t see how it is sexy.

Part of that realization comes from a recent ulnar Nerve injury I suffered when I fell on our boat. The pain from a mere elbow injury shot into my back and left shoulder with such agony that I couldn’t do anything for two weeks. Trust me my husband and I weren’t having sex during my recovery because I couldn’t lay flat (or any other position for that matter) even if I felt sexy! Now multiply that by shooting pain from two arms and two ankles ravaging ones back, let alone breathing, etc, and I just can’t see how anyone can really be thinking about sex with that much torment!

I tried to capture those thoughts in “The Object Lesson.” So your thoughts?

Of course actual, agonizing pain isn't sexually appealing. But the fantasy of it is. Those who practice actual bdsm (I am not one, but I know some who do) are willing to experience some modicum of pain and (most importantly) the threat of worse pain in order to be titillated.
As I said in another post, death is prettier in the imagination. In the same way, pain is only really attractive in a kind of romantic suffering sense. It has always been thus. Goethe, in The Sufferings of Young Werther, covered this topic (albeit the suffering was not exactly physical) in the 18th century.

messaline · Sep 25, 2019

Like in all these discussions, it's important to make the difference between Reality and Fantasy .

In my reality, I practice BDSM into essentially whip'sessions and sometimes some other sufferings like needdles in breasts, rack ....
I cant say why I like that , it's an evidence for me ; I need of pain (with limits) , I need that Judith, my lover girl, makes me suffer ; my love for her is reinforced when she drives me, throught different sufferings, to the orgasm which is the result that we're always searching in our sessions ...
That could be appearing like strange , like an aberration , in our times of cocooning, but I only can ask for ...
Anyway, I think that people are coming here, not mainly to share some crux/BDSM experiences (a lot of them are not practising) than to find an ambiance turning around those topics ; I dont want any polemic but among all members that we've ( 15,000 ? 20,000 ?), how many of them are really participating ?
Generally, people are here to see ( and downlad perhaps ) all what we (members posting) are proposing about crucifixions or BDSM ...
For me, I've two leading threads :
"Anjou'Calvaries" where I share my supposed crucifixions to the calvaries of my country , but I know well that in viewing the number of viewing'people, I'm sure that they're coming to dream with me ... and why not ?
"My Deep Fantasy" where I share effectivelly all my deepest dreams , even the worst'ones ... and people are rather following it ... to dream with me ? Why not ? ...
All that to say that we've all our reasons to come here and I dont think that this one is better that that one ...
Have fun , take what we're searching , and mostly dont try to justify our choices : all are welcome !
But dont forget to well keep appart FANTASY and REALITY !

Some thoughts
Messa ...

nux581 · Sep 25, 2019

Sexitus Bacilus said:
Thinking about what would happen to a person impaled with shredded nerves sending pain, agony and torment into ones spinial column and back, I just can’t see how it is sexy.

I agree with you that during event, experiencing crucifixion would not feel sexy at all. I speak from experience, of a sort. Many years ago, I was beaten up and sexually assaulted over an extended period of hours. There was nothing sexy about it at the time. I was terrified, and in considerable pain (needing 40 stitches in my scalp, among other injuries). Yet, this wretched experience has served as a catalyst for sexual tension and subsequent release countless times. And, while I know I had a mild crux kink before the event, I am certain that the abject terror I experienced then is a huge part of my crux kink now.

Sexual tension takes energy. That energy can come from a soft caress, sweet words... and pain and guilt and terror. Anything, once the connections are made and reinforced by orgasmic pleasure. Our psyches are a Rube Goldberg affair, a rickety structure formed by chance and choices. Variation between individuals is immense. Just look at all the different kinks on display in here! People who enjoy thoughts of being crucified and those who dream of crucifying others come from very different places. All deserving of respect, and worthy of support.

Crux-Emperor Baracus X · Sep 26, 2019

I'll be totally honest,and confess that i get off,on the crux scenario,have done since i was young.....i find loincloths,on bare breasted girls more erotic than 'bog-standard' underwear.
Of course the two sort of go together,(don't they ??)
But in reality i wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally....(even if the other person demanded it...)
Hope this makes sense....??
And as @messaline says..." Fantasy and Reality are WORLDS apart !!"

messaline · Sep 26, 2019

Baracus said:
But in reality i wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally....(even if the other person demanded it...)

Even if she was your lover'girl ?
I'm demanding of sufferings from my lover'girl : it's a part of my (ours) sexuality ... I dont ask for that people could agree but it's an inherent value for us : I cant explain, excepted that when I was young, I was fascinated by the Via-Cruxis that I could see in the churches, dreaming to be the Christ, suffering like him ...
But be rassured, we've also tenderness'moments together ...

Migoz2 · Sep 26, 2019

Nice discussion in this thread. The tension between fantasy and reality can be difficult, but it can also be extremely fruitful if you use it right. I don't know anyone IRL who is into crux (as far as I know!), but I do know and have been in relationships with people into receiving the pain I like to give and my other favourite fantasy, hanging, and it is sometimes the (imagined) possibility of taking it further which can enhance our sexual activities to another level entirely.

And a couple of the comments above have prompted me to post something which has been roiling around in my head for a while now. I was originally going to do this as a new post somewhere, but when I saw what Praefectus Praetorio and Darkprincess69 had posted, they articulate as a starting point exactly what I wanted to say.

Praefectus Praetorio said:
I'm hooked on this site (actually on those here that I would like to have as friends) and can't stop coming here.

Darkprincess69 said:
For me, this website and the great community it supports is about FAR more than just crux. For me, crux is an interesting subject but the real reason I'm here is for the more general BDSM content.

A couple of months ago I was lured here (from DA) by @Eulalia. I had only a general interest in crux - beautiful, naked women suffering: what's not to like?! But I love BDSM. And my particular kink is erotic death in general, and hanging / asphyxia in particular. I found plenty here to feed my appetites (and not only do things keep being added, but I also uncover older material - so much to read and see, so little time!). But I also found a vibrant, diverse, incredibly welcoming community. You guys made me feel at home immediately, and this is a really great place to play and learn. There is a wonderful balance here between erotica (visual and written), banter and general and specific discussion. I love this place - the material constantly being posted, and the people who make up this little niche community! Ok, I am unfaithful and promiscuous - I am seeing other sites at the same time, but CF is where I return to.

montycrusto · Sep 26, 2019

Migoz2 said:
Nice discussion in this thread. The tension between fantasy and reality can be difficult, but it can also be extremely fruitful if you use it right. I don't know anyone IRL who is into crux (as far as I know!), but I do know and have been in relationships with people into receiving the pain I like to give and my other favourite fantasy, hanging, and it is sometimes the (imagined) possibility of taking it further which can enhance our sexual activities to another level entirely.

And a couple of the comments above have prompted me to post something which has been roiling around in my head for a while now. I was originally going to do this as a new post somewhere, but when I saw what Praefectus Praetorio and Darkprincess69 had posted, they articulate as a starting point exactly what I wanted to say.

A couple of months ago I was lured here (from DA) by @Eulalia. I had only a general interest in crux - beautiful, naked women suffering: what's not to like?! But I love BDSM. And my particular kink is erotic death in general, and hanging / asphyxia in particular. I found plenty here to feed my appetites (and not only do things keep being added, but I also uncover older material - so much to read and see, so little time!). But I also found a vibrant, diverse, incredibly welcoming community. You guys made me feel at home immediately, and this is a really great place to play and learn. There is a wonderful balance here between erotica (visual and written), banter and general and specific discussion. I love this place - the material constantly being posted, and the people who make up this little niche community! Ok, I am unfaithful and promiscuous - I am seeing other sites at the same time, but CF is where I return to.

Aww.. we luv ya too @Migoz2

Yeah... what he said.. I wander about but always feel welcome here, and always feel at home. I don’t know how you do it. I wasn’t lured here by @Eulalia (pity, I would have enjoyed that..) and in fact I learned to appreciate Crux from this site; before, I was just into general bdsm I guess (and still am). This is the only site that has both reduced me to tears and made me laugh out loud.. so full of creativity, wit and erudition.. I would choose CF as my luxury on a desert island, it would keep me going forever.

Barbaria1 · Sep 26, 2019

montycrusto said:
I would choose CF as my luxury on a desert island, it would keep me going forever.

I guess that says it all ... gonna be a crowded desert island if we all turn up there. Can Cruxgirls be whipped against and crucified on palm trees?

montycrusto · Sep 26, 2019

Barbaria1 said:
Can Cruxgirls be whipped against and crucified on palm trees?

I’m sure we can rig something up for you...

So my view on crucifixion has changed

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