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A Master's Diary

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November 17, 2019 High 46° Low 34° Only Partly Cloudy

Today, I finally am feeling a little better. Dina came over and made me some coffee this morning. While I enjoy a good cup of tea, I’m more a coffee man from force of habit. She also brought some scones she’d picked up fresh from the baker and some clotted cream. I don’t usually have these since they wreak havoc with my blood-sugar; but it tasted good today, and I appreciated Dina’s love.


I still struggle to understand Dina’s desire to be a slave. As a sadist myself, it seems natural for someone to enjoy being in charge and forcing another to obey them – to be a Master. But to want to be controlled and hurt is foreign to my nature, yet central to hers. I love the way it works together for us, but it’s still a mystery. (as is, of course the whole female species!)

One thing is clear to me. A major part of Dina’s care and concern for me these last few days was driven by her love and not just her submissiveness.

{That is true, Master}

[I love you, too, Dina!]
 
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November 18, 2019 High 44° Low 32° Partly Cloudy

As Master, I decreed today a holiday. Feeling better after my recovery, I decided Dina and I should enjoy a day out. And not a bad day, above freezing and some sun!

Although she is an extremely bright and quick girl with a steel-trap memory, it is amazing at times the lack of education she’s had. Recently, while talking idly, I discovered, she knew almost nothing about the local history and sites. Today, we start our project to remedy that. We visited Orchardton Tower near Palnackie.
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It was a fascinating place, apparently the only round tower house in Scotland. Our guide with Historic Scotland, was a sweet old lady. At first, she seemed half (or more) senile. But once she got talking about “her” tower, she was a veritable font of knowledge. It was built by the Cairns family, which immediately touched me since we had had an adorably sweet and mischievous Cairn Terrier a decade ago.

We looked in at the cottage where John Paul Jones was born (the American in our party insisted), then had lunch at a local inn - a fabulous wee village pub. Everyone was so friendly. The chef and barman went out their way to make us feel welcome. (I think part of their attentiveness was due to appreciating the charms of Dina.) Worth a visit if you’re anywhere near the beautiful village of Palnackie.

A very rewarding day!


I am afraid that personal considerations will make it impossible to post a diary entry for the next week. Next post will be on Monday, November 25.
 
November 25, 2019 High 49° Low 47° Showers

I’m off traveling on business, making a circuit of clients in the south of England. I’ll let you know more about that when I get home.

I think I left off with my addiction to pulp magazines. As I went to college and graduate school, I expanded to Playboys and Penthouse. Then I got married and though I could leave my fantasies behind. Ha. Before long I was sneaking back to my collection. And then came the internet! Like an atomic bomb! I became so enmeshed that my wife caught me several times and finally demanded a divorce. Next stop, Scotland.

That ends my strange eventful history (apologies to the Bard). I think I will try in these posts to discuss a little about being a master. I do this to enlighten others, not to proclaim my fluency at it, which is little enough.
 
November 26, 2019 High 50° Low 43° Rain

“But me, I'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint.”​

Back home late tomorrow.

About being a master. The first thing I want to say is, it’s damn hard! I know a lot of young guys out there are thinking: “Yeah. That’d be great. A girl who want’s me to whip her. I could do that. Just watch me!”

Let me just say to them – it’s not that simple.

If you’ve read Dina’s Diary (http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/resources/a-slaves-diary-by-praefectus-praetorio.706/), she makes it sound like I was an experienced master who allowed a novice to become my slave. So not true. I had a lot to learn.

BTW - Tories with 80 seat edge. Brexit happens as I've been telling my clients for six months.
 
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November 27, 2019 High 48° Low 42° Cloudy Some Showers

Homeward bound,
I wish I was homeward bound,
Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting silently for me.​

Long day, back home late.

Texted Dina and made plans for dinner tomorrow. I make it my custom not to see Dina on the day I get home from travel. I have learned from bitter experience in my marriage, that I am not great company then. Give me a chance to unpack, get the laundry going, make my own meal, take a shower and sleep in my own bed, and in the morning, I’m ready to be sweet and charming.

Talking about being a master. First, I’m only speaking of a voluntary relationship where a slave and master freely agree to the relationship. This will not be about some violent, forced slavery or abduction. While I might have fantasies about that, doing it in real life would disgust me.

Given that it is a mutual relationship, there are important boundaries and restraints on the master. Trust is an all-important part of the interaction.
 
November 28, 2019 High 45° Low 33° Partly Cloudy

Thanksgiving back in the States. I don’t miss the overeating. Turkey and pumpkin are not my favorite foods. But I miss the get together and celebrating. Dina and I went out for an early supper and the restaurant actually had roast turkey on the menu! With tatties and neeps! It was a very sweet romantic time. Walking home, there was no rain! A Thanksgiving miracle!

Arm in arm, I said to Dina that I thought we should have a dungeon night.

I should have been more careful about that. She nearly pulled my arm out of its socket when she jumped (literally) for joy.

We went straight to my place and to the dungeon. I had purchased a new outfit for her in the States. You can find every kinky thing your heart desires in Boston, if you know where to go. This one actually came from a mostly reputable costume shop not far from Quincy Market. In their “Raquel Welch” section (can you believe that?) It is the loincloth and open halter from One Million Years B.C. I know Raquel looked smashing in it, but, personally, I think Dina looks better and she LOVED the outfit. Her kisses and rubbing herself in the costume up against me almost made me forget my duty. However, I did tie her to the X cross and get out my favorite belt, long, supple leather about an inch and one-half wide. We played our captor and feisty, defiant captive roles and it was great. Dina may be a natural-born submissive, but when she is being defiant, she almost scares me! The object of the game is to see whether she surrenders or I wear down first. It’s an interesting game; the belt certainly has an advantage, but Dina can be very determined.

In the end, she won (or I let her; honesty I’m not sure) and we both were very thankful in bed.

{Let me win? Ha! Yer bum’s oot the windae. You were pure done in. I will say the Bubbly Jock was delicious.}

[Notice how uppity she’s become! What’s a Master to do? I think some serious correction is needed.]

{The noo!}
 
Friday, November 29, 2019 High 41° Low 33° Bright Sun. Another miracle

Most of today was taken up with the boring follow-up to a business trip. Writing letters, entering new financial information on my spreadsheets, making adjustments to the investments of my clients who have given me power of attorney, etc. I also spent a lot of time thinking about something Dina said yesterday.


Master/Slave

There are three vital things to get straight in the beginning. Firstly, when you agree to the relationship, you must place some rules and boundaries on it at the very beginning. It is good to ease your way into the parts to find how far you both really wish to go. These can be amended by mutual consent later, but without them, you will encounter problems.

Secondly, both parties must think carefully before they begin about how their role is to be played. In many ways, slavery is like a play, it is acting, serious acting, but acting. It is enjoyable when you create mutually satisfactory characters that can play off each other. In my case, I have Dina, whose natural character is a font of endless fascination of r me.

Thirdly, for the Master, it is important to realize that your role is principally as a trainer, as you would train a horse or a dog (that is not meant pejoratively against the slave). You have someone who has chosen you, who loves you and who wants a firm, but fair guide for their submissive life.
 
Praefectus Praetorio said:
as you would train a horse or a dog (that is not meant pejoratively against the slave).
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I realize that that phrase may offend some here. It was not meant to and the disclaimer was there to prevent that. But I do apologize if I have offended. The slave is of course NOT a horse or dog, but, as mentioned elsewhere, a valued companion who has voluntarily submitted to the master with the expectation of being guided, educated and, yes, trained in her role. If a Master doesn't respect his Slave, he is a very poor Master.
 
Saturday November 30, 2019 High 40° Low 31° Sunny (Have we moved to Arizona with knowing it?)

WE spent the afternoon at Dina’s for training. She is really learning her slave positions well (that incredible memory of hers). We went through the one’s she’s learned and she made nary a slip. I introduced two new ones, “Sula” and “Heel.” I have to learn these also, therefore I introduce them more slowly than Dina can learn, so she doesn’t get ahead of me. By the way, “heel” does correspond to the dog command, but is perfectly acceptable as a slave command and position.

Afterwards we ate the dinner she had prepared. I must say she is becoming more and more expert at cooking.

Master:
The challenge of being a Master is the same as any kind of leadership. We should remember that most people are not natural born leaders; I certainly was not. A leader has to work with, train, love, discipline and inspire their followers. The proof in the pudding comes when I say charge and go up over the top toward the enemy, hoping my men follow me. Being a leader is not just giving orders; your orders must inspire your follower(s) and make her (them) want to obey. That is not easy!
 
Praefectus Praetorio said:
I realize that that phrase may offend some here. It was not meant to and the disclaimer was there to prevent that. But I do apologize if I have offended. The slave is of course NOT a horse or dog, but, as mentioned elsewhere, a valued companion who has voluntarily submitted to the master with the expectation of being guided, educated and, yes, trained in her role. If a Master doesn't respect his Slave, he is a very poor Master.
Click to expand...
I understood exactly what you meant, no worries!
 
Big Day - Big Entry

Sunday December 1, 2019 High 45° Low 40° Cloudy (The real weather returns)

I mentioned the other day that Dina had said something on Thursday that made me think. I haven’t wanted to write here about it until I’d digested it some. As we were walking back from the restaurant, she’d said, “I love walking like this with you. Just like an old married couple going home together!”

Now Dina isn’t anything if not frank. I know she wasn’t trying to be subtle and manipulate me. She was expressing her honest feelings. I think they were feelings she’s had a while.

This struck me especially hard since today is a very special day (you’ll know that if you read A Slave’s Diary) . Two years ago, today, we had the fealty ceremony where Dina pledged to be my Slave and I pledged to be her Master. I look back on that as the best day of my life. It was nice to get a slave, of course. But what I treasure was that this was a binding of Dina and I together and I love her so much. Today is more like an engagement anniversary or even a wedding anniversary (despite the pain I feel at those words to remember my failed marriage), than the anniversary of a sexual relationship. That is why those words of Dina, as we walked to my place together after a kind of holiday meal, touched me so deeply.

I am not sharing this entry with Dina, at least not now. I’ve told her that I would do this and she trusts me.

I would be a liar if I denied that I’d thought about spending the rest of my life with Dina in marriage. It has been a frequent fantasy as I nod off to sleep at night or when we lay in bed together after a particularly intense whipping session and love-making.

Two years of Master/Slave. It has meant a lot to me – to both of us. I suspect if I asked Dina tomorrow to marry me, she’d jump in my arms and wrap her legs around me and shower my face with kisses as she does when she’s really happy. Just thinking of that makes my heart stop! But I’m not sure if it’s the best thing for her.

The age difference is a very real concern for me. Also, Dina has a lot more growing up and learning to do. Sure, I could help teach her. But I recoil at the Pygmalion analogy. Dina is a wonderful, unique girl with a powerful streak of independence, not a lifeless statute to be molded to my desires. I would never want that; that would be a sacrilege!

Today we reenacted our ceremony as we did one year ago. We both had tears in our eyes. I gave her a little gift and told her I loved her, but left it at that. It was very hard not to say more. Perhaps I shall someday. Perhaps soon.


Sunday December 1, 2019 High 7° Low 4.5° Cloudy

Not taps-off weather like the last two days, but not at all a bad day weather-wise.

Master would not let me see his diary today (I know he must have a good reason, but it drives my curiosity wild). I feel like that old Greek woman he’s told me about, Pandora (and I thought she made jewelry) who couldn’t resist to open the trunk and then letting out all the evils in the world. I think curiosity is natural, it is an eagerness to learn. And bye-the-bye, how come the stories always have the girls causing the trouble? Like Eve with the apple. It’s due to the blokes are the ones who writes those stories! Ha!

Therefore, I decided to write for one day only. And just to be fair, I won’t let him see it.

It was a braw day! The second anniversary of our Slave Ceremony. Each year, we go through the whole thing. I do it from memory, Master needs to read (he ain’t got my memory – he’s so smart otherwise). It meant so much to me. I’m so lucky to have found a kind and gentle master who loves me so much and takes care of me and punishes me when I need it. You should have seen him, the tears running down his cheeks – he is very romantic. It made me eyes maist a little too.

Afterwards we made love and that was braw too! Then he pulled out a long velvet box and gave it to me. Inside was a mense string of real pearls! Yaldi! It must have cost a fortune! He said it wasn’t much, but when he saw it in the shop, he thought I would make it look bonnie. Not make plain Dina look bonnie. Plain Dina make those gorgeous pearls look bonnie! Haven’t I told you Master’s great with words! God, I love him!

I said a little something to him the other day ‘bout how I was feeling. I can’t tell you what it was yet, but I donna think he liked it. He got powerful quiet. I’ll not say that again.
 
Monday December 2, 2019 High 45° Low 40° Some Showers

Back on the road for a long day trip to Edinburgh. I won’t get home until late in the evening. Then a light supper and to bed alone.

After my long and maudlin (sorry) post yesterday, and an equally large one from Dina (I’m told), I’ll spare the readers a long read today and just sign off here.
 
Tuesday December 3, 2019 High 47° Low 46° Cloudy

Can you believe that? One stinking degree of range. And on the silly C scale, it’s all the same, 8°!

Another day of position practice for Dina.

A reader asked me to explain those slave positions I mentioned.
Heel (also called leading) is very similar to the dog command. Both are short for “walk at my heels. However, both with dogs and slaves, the position has evolved over time. With hunting dogs, it was meant for them to follow right behind the master to be ready for him to stop, turn or give another command. Nowadays, almost all trainers teach this as walking beside since the human had grown to increasingly value the companionship aspect of walking with their pet. The same applies to a slave. At the Masters left side, bent at the waist, wrists crossed behind back, head against Master’s hip.
Sula – lie flat on back, arms at side of hips, palms upward legs stretched out wide and flat. Open for the Master’s inspection.
Next time I’ll talk about the reasons for teaching and learning positions.

By the way, know why dogs (and now slaves) are always taught to heel to the left of the Master? It’s from the hunting heritage when the man would carry his hunting rifle or shotgun in his right hand, and, of course, wanted the dog away from it. Dina jokes that she should heel on the right since I’m, as she puts it, kippy-handed (left).
 
Praefectus Praetorio said:
I realize that that phrase may offend some here. It was not meant to and the disclaimer was there to prevent that. But I do apologize if I have offended. The slave is of course NOT a horse or dog, but, as mentioned elsewhere, a valued companion who has voluntarily submitted to the master with the expectation of being guided, educated and, yes, trained in her role. If a Master doesn't respect his Slave, he is a very poor Master.
Click to expand...
On the contrary, a slave should respect her Master's horse or dog as she respects her Master.
Comparing her to either is granting her a great honour.
 
Wednesday December 4, 2019 High 49° Low 43° Cloudy

Today was punishment day. Over the last week, Dina has accumulated a number of demerits and I’d been too busy to properly apply the necessary correction. Some seemed trivial, but I certainly wanted to correct her uppity behavior about winning the last whipping.

Stripped naked, except for a pair of leather ankle-boots (a small bit of clothing remaining, while not covering any of her sexual parts makes her look more vulnerable, I feel), I strung her by her arms from the ceiling, legs spread and tied and just the toes of her boots on the floor. God, does she look beautiful that way! I had been anticipating this for several days. I felt an unusually strong desire to hurt her. Personally hurt her.

I chose the bullwhip, one of the cruelest weapons in my arsenal and blindfolded her so she couldn’t so the blows coming.

I started slowly, as I listed her infractions and the punishment for each. However, only a few minutes in, I became quite heated and started applying extra strokes and using extra hard swings that were really causing pain. As Dina reacted to this, I became even more excited and filled with lust to hurt her.

Then, suddenly, I realized what was happening and stopped. I released her and held her, sobbing on my lap, comforting her. She kept crying and saying how sorry she was and how she would try to do better.

I’ve told this as I have to make a point. I was wrong today. A master should never let his emotions or his lust rob him of a sense of care and proportion when disciplining a slave. Of course, the master will enjoy and get sexual arousal out of hurting her; a master who isn’t at least a little sadistic would probably not be a good master. But, from the moment a slave places herself in your hands and allows you to bind her, a master has a serious, heavy responsibility. Safe words are vital, but are almost always used too late, after the slave has suffered excess physical and, more importantly, emotion damage. The master must keep emotion and lust under control and the love and care for his slave foremost in his mind.

Afterwards, in bed, Dina told me how much she enjoyed today, how the level of pain really got to her, excited her. I believe that, and am glad it is true. However, I know I wasn’t right; I wasn’t a good master. I shall try very hard to do better.

I also know why I lost it today. I was feeling guilty about still not responding to Dina’s sweet words, “I love walking like this with you. Just like a married couple going home together!”

So, after we made love, I held her face close to mine and said what I had wanted, deep down, for several days to say: “I like the idea of being like a married couple, going home together.” Needless to say, Dina was ecstatic.
 
Thursday December 5, 2019 High 53° Low 50° Warm for here, but rain

We stayed up and talked a long time last night. I carefully laid out all my concerns about a long term, committed relationship. Dina, not surprisingly, totally dismissed the age argument. “You’re nae an auldjin. A'm feelin' you’re the spot on age for me.”

As far as me dominating her development too much, she’s all for it. Unfortunately (well, it is nice for me at times), Dina decided almost from the moment she met me that I was the smartest person in the world and she wanted to learn everything from me.

Despite her respect for my judgement, I wasn’t able to make any progress in convincing her of the barriers to a happy marriage (that word really scares me). However, she is satisfied at the moment with me expressing my love and desire to be with her forever, and doesn’t insist on anything more concrete. I feel I’m just delaying a bad decision. But Dina is over the top with joy. And that is something that really warms my heart.

Slave positions, why?
One quick easy reason is ease and speed of action. The master doesn’t have to explain in detail how he wants the slave to arrange herself or actually show her each time. A word, or a hand gesture (I haven’t gone into it here, but each command has a hand gesture – not worth the effort here explaining each one) calls for an immediate assumption of the position. The silent obedience of a silent hand signal is truly magical in a Master/Slave relationship (for both parties).
 
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