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Art reviews by Zephyros

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Autofellatio @ Cologne Town Hall

On the facade of the Cologne Town Hall there is a statue of Bishop Konrad von Hochstaden. The severity of his ecclesiastical figure is barely surprising; it’s what’s under the pedestal that leaves you stunned.
t's a so-called Kallendresser or a Kölner Spiegel, a figure that relieves itself into the drainpipe/displaying their bare backside while peeking through between the legs - like the one in the OP. These were common in Cologne since medieval times and their true meaning has since been forgotten but the most common interpretation is that they're somewhat of a political statement or a mocking of prominent figures by the respective house-owners. Think of it as writing "Fuck you mayor! I shit on your politics!" on your wall.

The figure engaged in an obscene autofellatio is to be reconnected to the classic medieval marginalia, which often included grotesque and bizarre situations placed “in the margin” of the main work — which could be a book, a fresco, a painting or, as in this case, a sculptural complex.
Given that such figures appear on a good number of churches, mainly in France, Spain and Germany, there has been much speculation as to what their purpose and meaning might have been: these were not just echoes of pagan fertility symbols, but complex allegories of salvation, as this book explains (and if you read French, there’s another good one exclusively dedicated to Brittany). Beyond all conjectures, it is clear that the distinction between the sacred and the profane in the Middle Ages was not as clear and unambiguous as we would be led to believe.
The Archbishop of Cologne was a Prince Elector, one of the seven most powerful figures in the Holy Roman Empire, but they had trouble holding the city and (centuries later) they were expelled and had to set up residence outside the city, and were not allowed to enter the city at all. But still called themselves Archbishops of Cologne. The city answered only to the Emperor.
Supposedly many noblemen were considered to fill Raspe’s shoes, but the anti-king crown fell to the young Count William of Holland. In April of 1248, Holland sieged Aachen, the place where German kings were traditionally crowned. It took six months for Aachen to fall, but when it did, it was the Archbishop of Cologne, not the Pope, who placed the crown on William’s head.

Konrad von Hochstaden’s faithful service to Pope Innocent was reward with the position of Apostolic legate in Germany, but Hochstaden reached higher. He secretly encouraged the people of Mainz to ask the pope to make him their new archbishop. This would make Konrad a double-prince elector since the Archbishop of Mainz also gets to vote on who becomes king. The pope gently denied Konrad the position, which caused Konrad to turn against the pope. The apostolic legation was taken from Konrad. Konrad turned from King William of Holland, as well and used every means necessary to dethrone him. He probably would have succeeded if William hadn’t died first.

After the death of King William, it was time for Konrad to find another king. His vote fell to Richard of Cornwall, brother to King Henry III of England. In trade for his support, Konrad was gifted full imperial authority over his principalities and the right to name bishops in Richard’s stead. Konrad von Hochstaden died four years later. Ironically, his remains lie in the Cathedral of the city where he was most hated: Cologne.


More info?
https://www.theapricity.com/forum/s...-Konrad-von-Hochstaden-13th-Century-Kingmaker

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konrad_von_Hochstaden

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The masturbating Adam on church St. Mary in my hometown.
 
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