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Crucifixion By Me

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wayne

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I decided to make my own thread here and see how that goes. I hope nobody minds. I suppose I'll attempt to tell some of the back story first. It isn't clear to me if the forum would like words or images or both, but I tend to think it helps to have both together. So, this is my attempt at that...

Some months ago, and motivated by this forum, and in particular "Ulf Bernstein", through whom was how I discovered the forum to begin with, my long-standing fascination with crucifixion, and in potentially being crucified myself, and in having images of such an event, was seriously revived. Probably for a number of reasons, I'd long thought it would be a fascinating thing to pursue, but also thought it impossible. The information and imagery I gained here made me start to question that belief.

So, in a moment of (in?)sanity, and with renewed interest in the notion, thinking maybe it wasn't impossible after all, I headed to the lumber store... Some days later, a simple cross appeared in my back yard. I am by no means good at building much of anything, but I suppose a basic cross is not necessarily an amazing feet of engineering. Mildly harder, actually, was adding some 'yard details' to keep from bothering the neighbors with it, or bothering them with want I wanted to try on it. So far, no complaints...

After building the cross I contacted a friend of mine, who had done some photography work and shared with him photos of my cross, and told him I'd like to be tied onto it and photographed. Both for the experience, and for the resulting images. He agreed to give it a shot, so to speak.

It was an interesting first attempt, and which I shared photos from here, on another thread (stealing Ulf's thread, I guess.... - sorry Ulf). I was pleasantly surprised by the feedback, support, and advice from the forum based on that initial attempt. There were issues with it, and I had "cheated" with a foot rest and such, and I think the experience didn't quite get me to where I wanted to get to as a result, and even though I was relatively happy with it, for what it was, and as far as it went, and for a first attempt, perhaps. Not to mention given everything I didn't know about what I was doing.

Part of the issue was that my photographer friend has some health challenges that prevented him from effectively tying me all that well to my cross. So, after the initial attempt, and somewhat undaunted, or at least trying to hope for the best, I guess, I started trying to find other help. I contacted another photographer friend. He declined. I attempted to make contact with just about anyone that I could find that indicated they might be interested. And, I had some good conversation with several about the idea. But, ultimately their interest seemed to wane, especially when it came time for "let's plan it and do it".

Eventually, I found someone interested enough in the idea to follow through with it. Although it was over a relatively short time, we had a lot of discussion about it before getting together. In an interesting twist, it turned out that he was not just interested in helping and photographing my crucifixion, but wanted to try out my cross himself as well. I said I was good with that. We decided to play a card game to decide who went first. We had trouble scheduling, of course (life...), but it came together kind of unexpectedly and happened somewhat suddenly in the end.

Even though I had already been on my cross once, I wasn't sure if I wanted to lose the card game and be the first one put up on my cross. Of course that was mostly up to the cards to decide. Our plan was that the game loser would be stripped, handcuffed, marched out to the cross, tied to it, and photographed on it. We also planned that there would be more than one game, basically guaranteeing we'd both end up crucified sooner or later. Still, the cards had their say, and he lost first.

With the advice I'd gained here and my earlier experience I thought I had a reasonable shot at making the event (his crucifixion) happen. So, I proceeded to set things up and tie him on there. He was an amazing sport. There was no foot rest this time. The experience was for real, and it was his first experience. And, as I would learn later, it is a real experience that way for sure. Still, I thought I had enough of an idea of how to do it to hopefully help and make it possible for him to be there. It seemed to work.

I tied him to it and I could tell it wasn't pleasant for him, to put it mildly, but he was doing it. I photographed, and watched, as he went through the routine of hanging and pushing up from his feet, then hanging, and pushing up from his feet. As I now know with greater personal awareness exactly what this feels like, I know he was feeling an intense and serious strain. But, he did it, and for more than long enough for me to get photos of it, before he declared that he just couldn't take it any longer.

I subsequently asked for, and was granted, permission to share the resulting photos.



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I decided to make my own thread here and see how that goes. I hope nobody minds. I suppose I'll attempt to tell some of the back story first. It isn't clear to me if the forum would like words or images or both, but I tend to think it helps to have both together. So, this is my attempt at that...

Some months ago, and motivated by this forum, and in particular "Ulf Bernstein", through whom was how I discovered the forum to begin with, my long-standing fascination with crucifixion, and in potentially being crucified myself, and in having images of such an event, was seriously revived. Probably for a number of reasons, I'd long thought it would be a fascinating thing to pursue, but also thought it impossible. The information and imagery I gained here made me start to question that belief.

So, in a moment of (in?)sanity, and with renewed interest in the notion, thinking maybe it wasn't impossible after all, I headed to the lumber store... Some days later, a simple cross appeared in my back yard. I am by no means good at building much of anything, but I suppose a basic cross is not necessarily an amazing feet of engineering. Mildly harder, actually, was adding some 'yard details' to keep from bothering the neighbors with it, or bothering them with want I wanted to try on it. So far, no complaints...

After building the cross I contacted a friend of mine, who had done some photography work and shared with him photos of my cross, and told him I'd like to be tied onto it and photographed. Both for the experience, and for the resulting images. He agreed to give it a shot, so to speak.

It was an interesting first attempt, and which I shared photos from here, on another thread (stealing Ulf's thread, I guess.... - sorry Ulf). I was pleasantly surprised by the feedback, support, and advice from the forum based on that initial attempt. There were issues with it, and I had "cheated" with a foot rest and such, and I think the experience didn't quite get me to where I wanted to get to as a result, and even though I was relatively happy with it, for what it was, and as far as it went, and for a first attempt, perhaps. Not to mention given everything I didn't know about what I was doing.

Part of the issue was that my photographer friend has some health challenges that prevented him from effectively tying me all that well to my cross. So, after the initial attempt, and somewhat undaunted, or at least trying to hope for the best, I guess, I started trying to find other help. I contacted another photographer friend. He declined. I attempted to make contact with just about anyone that I could find that indicated they might be interested. And, I had some good conversation with several about the idea. But, ultimately their interest seemed to wane, especially when it came time for "let's plan it and do it".

Eventually, I found someone interested enough in the idea to follow through with it. Although it was over a relatively short time, we had a lot of discussion about it before getting together. In an interesting twist, it turned out that he was not just interested in helping and photographing my crucifixion, but wanted to try out my cross himself as well. I said I was good with that. We decided to play a card game to decide who went first. We had trouble scheduling, of course (life...), but it came together kind of unexpectedly and happened somewhat suddenly in the end.

Even though I had already been on my cross once, I wasn't sure if I wanted to lose the card game and be the first one put up on my cross. Of course that was mostly up to the cards to decide. Our plan was that the game loser would be stripped, handcuffed, marched out to the cross, tied to it, and photographed on it. We also planned that there would be more than one game, basically guaranteeing we'd both end up crucified sooner or later. Still, the cards had their say, and he lost first.

With the advice I'd gained here and my earlier experience I thought I had a reasonable shot at making the event (his crucifixion) happen. So, I proceeded to set things up and tie him on there. He was an amazing sport. There was no foot rest this time. The experience was for real, and it was his first experience. And, as I would learn later, it is a real experience that way for sure. Still, I thought I had enough of an idea of how to do it to hopefully help and make it possible for him to be there. It seemed to work.

I tied him to it and I could tell it wasn't pleasant for him, to put it mildly, but he was doing it. I photographed, and watched, as he went through the routine of hanging and pushing up from his feet, then hanging, and pushing up from his feet. As I now know with greater personal awareness exactly what this feels like, I know he was feeling an intense and serious strain. But, he did it, and for more than long enough for me to get photos of it, before he declared that he just couldn't take it any longer.

I subsequently asked for, and was granted, permission to share the resulting photos.



View attachment 415527 View attachment 415528 View attachment 415529
Wow!!! What great photos! I wish you lived in NY. Thank you for sharing.
 
I decided to make my own thread here and see how that goes. I hope nobody minds. I suppose I'll attempt to tell some of the back story first. It isn't clear to me if the forum would like words or images or both, but I tend to think it helps to have both together. So, this is my attempt at that...

Some months ago, and motivated by this forum, and in particular "Ulf Bernstein", through whom was how I discovered the forum to begin with, my long-standing fascination with crucifixion, and in potentially being crucified myself, and in having images of such an event, was seriously revived. Probably for a number of reasons, I'd long thought it would be a fascinating thing to pursue, but also thought it impossible. The information and imagery I gained here made me start to question that belief.

So, in a moment of (in?)sanity, and with renewed interest in the notion, thinking maybe it wasn't impossible after all, I headed to the lumber store... Some days later, a simple cross appeared in my back yard. I am by no means good at building much of anything, but I suppose a basic cross is not necessarily an amazing feet of engineering. Mildly harder, actually, was adding some 'yard details' to keep from bothering the neighbors with it, or bothering them with want I wanted to try on it. So far, no complaints...

After building the cross I contacted a friend of mine, who had done some photography work and shared with him photos of my cross, and told him I'd like to be tied onto it and photographed. Both for the experience, and for the resulting images. He agreed to give it a shot, so to speak.

It was an interesting first attempt, and which I shared photos from here, on another thread (stealing Ulf's thread, I guess.... - sorry Ulf). I was pleasantly surprised by the feedback, support, and advice from the forum based on that initial attempt. There were issues with it, and I had "cheated" with a foot rest and such, and I think the experience didn't quite get me to where I wanted to get to as a result, and even though I was relatively happy with it, for what it was, and as far as it went, and for a first attempt, perhaps. Not to mention given everything I didn't know about what I was doing.

Part of the issue was that my photographer friend has some health challenges that prevented him from effectively tying me all that well to my cross. So, after the initial attempt, and somewhat undaunted, or at least trying to hope for the best, I guess, I started trying to find other help. I contacted another photographer friend. He declined. I attempted to make contact with just about anyone that I could find that indicated they might be interested. And, I had some good conversation with several about the idea. But, ultimately their interest seemed to wane, especially when it came time for "let's plan it and do it".

Eventually, I found someone interested enough in the idea to follow through with it. Although it was over a relatively short time, we had a lot of discussion about it before getting together. In an interesting twist, it turned out that he was not just interested in helping and photographing my crucifixion, but wanted to try out my cross himself as well. I said I was good with that. We decided to play a card game to decide who went first. We had trouble scheduling, of course (life...), but it came together kind of unexpectedly and happened somewhat suddenly in the end.

Even though I had already been on my cross once, I wasn't sure if I wanted to lose the card game and be the first one put up on my cross. Of course that was mostly up to the cards to decide. Our plan was that the game loser would be stripped, handcuffed, marched out to the cross, tied to it, and photographed on it. We also planned that there would be more than one game, basically guaranteeing we'd both end up crucified sooner or later. Still, the cards had their say, and he lost first.

With the advice I'd gained here and my earlier experience I thought I had a reasonable shot at making the event (his crucifixion) happen. So, I proceeded to set things up and tie him on there. He was an amazing sport. There was no foot rest this time. The experience was for real, and it was his first experience. And, as I would learn later, it is a real experience that way for sure. Still, I thought I had enough of an idea of how to do it to hopefully help and make it possible for him to be there. It seemed to work.

I tied him to it and I could tell it wasn't pleasant for him, to put it mildly, but he was doing it. I photographed, and watched, as he went through the routine of hanging and pushing up from his feet, then hanging, and pushing up from his feet. As I now know with greater personal awareness exactly what this feels like, I know he was feeling an intense and serious strain. But, he did it, and for more than long enough for me to get photos of it, before he declared that he just couldn't take it any longer.

I subsequently asked for, and was granted, permission to share the resulting photos.



View attachment 415527 View attachment 415528 View attachment 415529
I can feel his torment and pain and see his excitement.
 
I had intended to post the pictures of my own crucifixion (or additional pictures, I suppose, as I have shared a couple here on other threads already) soon after starting this thread. But, I guess I'm just getting around to it now.

After I tied "my helper" to the cross, as is pictured above in this thread, it was my turn. He was a bit distracted and didn't get my ankles tied that well as a result. And, I think that resulted in even more pressure on my wrists, which was beyond intense. The stress was much more than I was expecting, and we also had camera issues, and the only camera we had that worked was a rather old one and as I found out while I was hanging on the cross, he didn't know how to use it. So, very much in shock as I was hanging from the cross, mostly by my wrists, and trying to deal with the stress and intensity of that, I was also trying to instruct him on how to make the camera work for the first bit of it. It was interesting, for sure. I was thinking I wasn't sure there were going to be photos, but that I was certainly feeling the experience. Especially as I was tied, I really didn't know how long I could take it. I'll probably post the photos in the order taken and I think they show a progressive amount of anxiety on my part.

Still, we have talked about attempting again, but I don't know when, and I do know it won't be outside as the weather gets cold, which it is trying to do now.


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Great pictures, Wayne, thanks for sharing with us. Given the circumstances these photos have worked out really well, the quality id good and they capture the tension in your body, the stress you were under.
I suppose the way he tied your ankles made it very difficult to move around. Were you able to lift yourself at all? It would have been hard to put much weight on your legs.

Next time you will need to give yourself better and safer support for your feet. The feet make a huge difference.
 
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Were you able to lift yourself at all? It would have been hard to put much weight on your legs.

It didn't feel like I could hardly at all, no. However, whatever little bit I did get left quite a bit of marking and bruising on my ankle, so I guess it was quite as nothing as it felt at the time. That is just now healing up, actually, and it's been a couple of weeks.
 
It didn't feel like I could hardly at all, no. However, whatever little bit I did get left quite a bit of marking and bruising on my ankle, so I guess it was quite as nothing as it felt at the time. That is just now healing up, actually, and it's been a couple of weeks.

Try something like this, it's similar to the classic Makar technique. It'll give you much more support. How hi you fix your feet is up to you. Too low like you had before and there won't be much chance to rise, too high and it will be difficult. This position pictured gives you a nice knee bend and opportunity to raise yourself.
This is Modesto, a member here.
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Wane, you have a really nice body with a very nice male endowment indeed. I really enjoy your photos.

It's a shame about the foot and ankle problems that are also affecting your wrists. I agree with phlebas, definitely check out Modesto's photos and videos. Also consider DreamBoyBondage since, for guys like you, Ken's work is a bit of a 'how to' guide to modern crucifixion.
 
Great pictures, and I don't want to spoil anyone's enjoyment,
but we do ask members to post thumbnails rather than full-size -
1 full-size posts use up a lot more of our usage allowance, if we exceed it the site-owner has to pay
2 full-size posts can be seen by anyone who finds the site, they don't have to register
3 some members have slow and/or expensive connections, loading full-size pics can cost time and money.
 
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