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Euphemisms.....

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Hi,everyone....are you behaving yourselves ?? (Hope not... ;) )
Following an earlier post where i had to explain an euphemism,about masturbation,I thought...
Why not start a thread dedicated to different meanings of sexual practices and genitalia etc.... ??
Please feel free to add your best interpretations,the filthier,the better.
Double-Entendres particularly welcome.... ;)
ANYTHING GOES !! :) ;) :eek:

Lets start with good old masturbation.....
(Female ones are marked.... 'F')

Self-pleasuring
Solo play
Playing with yourself
Wanking off
Spank the monkey
Pull the pork
Tugging the rope
Polish the Helmet
Beat the meat
Stroke the sausage
Peel the Aubergine
Bash the Bishop
Knock one out
Dicking off
Jerking off
Nifty fifty
Choke the chicken
Satisfy the boner
Flicking the Bean (F)
Tipping the Velvet (F)
Stroking the lizard
Part the curtains. (F)
Tongue in groove. (F)
Tossing off
One that got away
Whacking off
Playing the organ
Stimulating the Penis
Stimulating the Clitoris (F)
Barclays Bank
Sherman Tank
Having a Wank
Tosser
Wanker
Stroking the pussy (F)

That's all i can think of....any more, please ??
 
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Now for the ladies....
( Males are marked,'M')


Boobies
Chest Area
Ample Bosom
Boobs
Tits
Bosoms
Breasts
Dumplings
Fun bags
Airbags
Knockers
Mammaries
Milk jugs
A handful
A nice pair
Lemons
Bee-stings
Spaniel's Ears
Bumpers
Love cushions.
Jell-O moulds
Cleavage
Bare boobs
"Don't get many of them to the pound"
Melons
Balloons
Zeppelins
Bazoomas
Bazookas
"Out here somewhere..."
Chicken Fillets
"What girls've got..."
Baby bottles
Infant feeders
Goose bumps
Lady bits (?)
Swingers
Hooters
Moobs (M)
Man-boobs (M)
Falsies
Fake Tits
Torpedoes
Silicone Implants
Bouncers
Phil & Grant (Mitchell) (from EastEnders)
Weapons of mass Distraction
Left and Right
Set of Lungs
Cop a feel....
 
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True story:
Years ago a company called "Wang" (headed by one An Wang) came out with a stand-alone word processor that looked like a computer terminal (way before Word Perfect--the company went under when PC's and software replaced its product). An executive was enamored with computers, frustrated from years of begging the priesthood that ran the mainframe computing center for service, and spent hours with the product.
His secretary fielded a call. "Is he busy?" "He's playing with his Wang." "I'm not even going to touch that one!"
 
Hi,everyone....are you behaving yourselves ?? (Hope not... ;) )
Following an earlier post where i had to explain an euphemism,about masturbation,I thought...
Why not start a thread dedicated to different meanings of sexual practices and genitalia etc.... ??
Please feel free to add your best interpretations,the filthier,the better.
Double-Entendres particularly welcome.... ;)
ANYTHING GOES !! :) ;) :eek:

Lets start with good old masturbation.....
(Female ones are marked.... 'F')

Self-pleasuring
Solo play
Playing with yourself
Wanking off
Spank the monkey
Pull the pork
Tugging the rope
Polish the Helmet
Beat the meat
Stroke the sausage
Peel the Aubergine
Bash the Bishop
Knock one out
Dicking off
Jerking off
Nifty fifty
Choke the chicken
Satisfy the boner
Flicking the Bean (F)
Tipping the Velvet (F)
Stroking the lizard
Part the curtains. (F)
Tongue in groove. (F)
Tossing off
One that got away
Whacking off
Playing the organ
Stimulating the Penis
Stimulating the Clitoris (F)
Barclays Bank
Sherman Tank
Having a Wank
Tosser
Wanker
Stroking the pussy (F)

That's all i can think of....any more, please ??

Barclays Bank??? :confused:
 
Now for the ladies....
( Males are marked,'M')


Boobies
Chest Area
Ample Bosom
Boobs
Tits
Bosoms
Breasts
Dumplings
Fun bags
Airbags
Knockers
Mammaries
Milk jugs
A handful
A nice pair
Lemons
Bee-stings
Spaniel's Ears
Bumpers
Love cushions.
Jell-O moulds
Cleavage
Bare boobs
"Don't get many of them to the pound"
Melons
Balloons
Zeppelins
Bazoomas
Bazookas
"Out here somewhere..."
Chicken Fillets
"What girls've got..."
Baby bottles
Infant feeders
Goose bumps
Lady bits (?)
Swingers
Hooters
Moobs (M)
Man-boobs (M)
Falsies
Fake Tits
Torpedoes
Silicone Implants
Bouncers
Phil & Grant (Mitchell) (from EastEnders)
Weapons of mass Distraction
Left and Right
Set of Lungs
Cop a feel....
Bristols (rhyming slang - from Bristol City's football club)
 
Urinating....

Having a wee,( or Wee-wee)
Peeing
Pissing
Gone for a piss
Take the dog for a walk.
Have a slash
Abolutions
Tinkle
Piddling
Sprinkle
Up against a tree
Cock a leg
Squat
Take a leak
Rain check
Widdle
Trickle down the leg.
Open the floodgates
Water the plants.
Jimmy Riddle
Shake hands with Wife's best friend
Gone to the Loo
Use the Lavvy
Gone to see a man about a dog.
A quick shake
 
Urinating....

Having a wee,( or Wee-wee)
Peeing
Pissing
Gone for a piss
Take the dog for a walk.
Have a slash
Abolutions
Tinkle
Piddling
Sprinkle
Up against a tree
Cock a leg
Squat
Take a leak
Rain check
Widdle
Trickle down the leg.
Open the floodgates
Water the plants.
Jimmy Riddle
Shake hands with Wife's best friend
Gone to the Loo
Use the Lavvy
Gone to see a man about a dog.
A quick shake
Pointing Percy at the porcelain. Watering the horses. Irrigating the paddock.
 
Urinating....

Having a wee,( or Wee-wee)
Peeing
Pissing
Gone for a piss
Take the dog for a walk.
Have a slash
Abolutions
Tinkle
Piddling
Sprinkle
Up against a tree
Cock a leg
Squat
Take a leak
Rain check
Widdle
Trickle down the leg.
Open the floodgates
Water the plants.
Jimmy Riddle
Shake hands with Wife's best friend
Gone to the Loo
Use the Lavvy
Gone to see a man about a dog.
A quick shake

"The rent's due on the coffee."

Or beer. These beverages are not so much consumed as rented.
 
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