• Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.

Last Night, Final Thoughts

Go to CruxDreams.com
J

Juan1234

Guest
Sunset:


I never thought I would die alongside these people. There are forty-seven of us, and we are like family now. Tomorrow we will be crucified outside the Benjamin Gate.


We were arrested late this afternoon as we gathered in Thomas’ home to share a meal and to read a letter from our dear friends in Antioch. Since then we have been hauled before magistrates, questioned, condemned, and locked in this large underground cell together. Four guards then collected our names and painted them on our tituli – the sign boards that will label us as Christians as we hang on our crosses. Now they are gone, and we have been singing together.


We feel none of the despair we ought to feel. We are smiling, holding one another’s hands, singing to Jesus, our Lord, ready to meet Him face to face, thanking Him for how he has transformed our lives and made us one.


Thomas was a tax collector – a stooge of the Romans and a traitor to our people, the Jews. What’s more, he cheated us, and we all hated him. Especially Laben, the zealot, who had worked to stir up insurrection against the Romans. Now they sat beside each other as brothers, singing, ready to die side by side.


Two guards have just ordered Mary to go with them. She gets up from her place next to me and follows them out of the cell and into an adjoining room where the guards congregate. I feel a stab of grief now. I know what they’re doing to her. Just a year ago, it would have filled me with vindictive pleasure to think of it. Not now.
 
Later:


We are growing tired now, and the first flush of pride and adventure at the thought of martyrdom is dying down. We still sing, but there are also tears, and we comfort one another.


When the guards had finished with Mary, they shoved her back into the cell, then surveyed us with their torchlight until they saw me.


“You,” one of them jabbed a finger at me, “Come.”


I got up quietly as Mary had done, and followed them into the adjoining room. It’s odd, I had only left a life of prostitution a little more than a year ago, but now I trembled, and my stomach churned. There was nothing in the chamber but a wooden table, higher than usual – almost waist height. And there were the guards – more than a dozen, it looked like, lining the walls, all looking sternly at me. The door shut behind me.


“Take off your clothes.” With a deep breath, I obeyed, letting me tunic fall to the floor. Now I was naked before them. I had done this so many times – why was I afraid now?


“Put your hands here, and here,” ordered another, patting the table. I took a few steps forward, then bent over the table and spread my arms as ordered. I knew what they were going to do, and I couldn’t stop them, so I did it all with whatever grace I could muster, making no attempt to conceal my womanly parts.


“So that you will not die a virgin…” I heard behind me, and then the phallus was inside me.


I was a prostitute. I know how to enjoy rape. But tonight I couldn’t let myself. I am so close to seeing Jesus face to face, I couldn’t sin against Him by giving myself over to the pleasures of this immorality. Instead I filled my mind with prayer, asking forgiveness for these guards, and strength for us all to face the cross tomorrow.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Very nice start. Really hits the sympathy notes, as these martyrdom accounts should.:(:mad::eek: Looking forward to more. :)
 
Now that is a statement that I have to ask you to explain, Juan. You don't like to laugh? To me, without humor, life is barely tolerable.
I do like to laugh, of course. :) In general, I prefer to keep my crux tragedy separate from my laughs though. It's a genre thing. (Of course you just proved that I'm narrow-minded and dogmatic. Oh, well...)
 
I do like to laugh, of course. :) In general, I prefer to keep my crux tragedy separate from my laughs though. It's a genre thing. (Of course you just proved that I'm narrow-minded and dogmatic. Oh, well...)
I see your point. I've written a couple of humour pieces here, but they were not really attempts at making a crux tragedy funny. That would be quite hard to do and not miss the essential emotional notes. Anyway, you go on and do what works. It's working well for you so far (and working for us readers too).
 
I see your point. I've written a couple of humour pieces here, but they were not really attempts at making a crux tragedy funny. That would be quite hard to do and not miss the essential emotional notes. Anyway, you go on and do what works. It's working well for you so far (and working for us readers too).
Thanks, Jolly. Hope it's clear I have no intention of denigrating anybody else's work here. :) My stuff is probably too "dark" for some tastes. No problem.
 
I do like to laugh, of course. :) In general, I prefer to keep my crux tragedy separate from my laughs though. It's a genre thing. (Of course you just proved that I'm narrow-minded and dogmatic. Oh, well...)

Yeah, I think a funny story with actual crucifixion could be a challenge. But, there were jokes told in the concentration camps, and quite funny ones I understand. I remember that movie with Roberto Benigni some years back "Life is Beautiful". Some people were offended, but most critics were quite positive. I liked it.
 
Again, you're forcing me out of my box. I LOVE that movie!! But I could never write it - the thought would never occur to me. And if someone else pitched it to me, I would tell them it was offensive and they should forget about it. I just don't have the vision for that kind of thing. Glad somebody did!
 
Again, you're forcing me out of my box.

That seems to be my role here:devil:
I LOVE that movie!! But I could never write it

I'm sure I couldn't either. Not just the subject, but the lack of talent on my part. Unlike the Holocaust, crucifixion is far enough in the past that I think I could take a stab at a funny story with an actual scene. You noted a bit of humor in the crucifixion scene in "The Real Historical Female Jesus", though overall the scene was not funny.

And even the most gruesome stories here attract humorous comments. That's just the way it is here.
 
Nice start. I hope this doesn't mean you've left Journey to Rome, though, Juan. That was one of my favourite stories ever - I love that idea of the noble victim, giving herself up with dignity and then being treated appallingly, the sense of a show.
 
Nice start. I hope this doesn't mean you've left Journey to Rome, though, Juan. That was one of my favourite stories ever - I love that idea of the noble victim, giving herself up with dignity and then being treated appallingly, the sense of a show.
Thanks - I still hope to finish Journey to Rome. Just need some inspiration...:doh:
 
That seems to be my role here:devil:


I'm sure I couldn't either. Not just the subject, but the lack of talent on my part. Unlike the Holocaust, crucifixion is far enough in the past that I think I could take a stab at a funny story with an actual scene. You noted a bit of humor in the crucifixion scene in "The Real Historical Female Jesus", though overall the scene was not funny.

And even the most gruesome stories here attract humorous comments. That's just the way it is here.
Let me just point out that "Life is Beautiful" is still a tragic movie, and at the end, you're crying, not laughing. (At least I am.) All the comedy really just serves to endear the characters to you so that it's all the more tragic. I'll try to keep this spoiler free, just in case :) but even his goofy goose-stepping thing toward the end is HEARTBREAKING, right? Throughout the movie, you're laughing at him, but you also feel his heartache, and you kind of admire him for his courage. He, through his comedy, sort of represents freedom and joy and simplicity and love, as juxtaposed against the Nazi backdrop. And they can't take that from him by putting him in a camp, and he refuses to let them take that from his little boy. None of that sounds like comedy, right? :) (And if you haven't seen the movie, I'm not making something out of nothing - it really is a tear-jerker drama.)
 
Only three of us are women – Mary, Claudia, and me – so they finished raping us a moment ago. The magistrate was kind enough to let most of the women go for the sake of the children. Claudia is in fact a Roman citizen, the widow of a legionary. In fact, Laben’s group of zealots murdered her husband a few years ago, and were never caught. She always hated Judea, and since her husband’s death, she hated Jews even more. She wanted nothing but revenge, and then to go back to Rome.


Not anymore. When the magistrate sentenced us to death, Laben had immediately spoken up for Claudia: “She is a Roman citizen, Sir! She cannot be crucified!” The magistrate had raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly to the elegant woman.


“Are you a citizen?” he asked. We all looked at her as she took a deep breath.


“My citizenship is of the Kingdom of Heaven,” she told him. With that, her fate was sealed. She would not be beheaded or strangled as the law allowed, she would be stripped naked and nailed to a cross to hang and die with us.
 
Back
Top Bottom