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M*A*S*H DIARY

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8 April 1951, 0700

Dear Diary,

My entry today reflects my deep sense of foreboding regarding the drumhead court martial that Brigadier General Praetorius has ordered today for 0930 hours.

I will be on trial and my whole military career, and possibly a whole lot more, hangs in the balance. As you are aware, there’s been a terrible turn of events leading up to this. General Praetorius, rather than being the staunch ally I had imagined he would be ... given that sensually magical night I so generously bestowed upon him a few years ago in his Mayflower Hotel bedroom suite ... he has turned out to be an old frat house buddy of none other than Colonel Phlebas.

And, rather than bringing charges against Colonel Phlebas and Captains Tree, Wragg, Jolly and Goldman (as well as that little shutterbugging scoundrel, Corporal Rodent), and seeing them all carted off to Leavenworth, where they rightfully belong, Praetorius has impaneled the whole stinking lot of them ... with the exception of Corporal Rodent ... to pass judgement on me in my coming trial.

The only good news ... I think ... is that I have been granted legal counsel. She was helicoptered in at around dusk last night, and sent straight to the tent in which I was detained under the watchful eye of MP Emily. After a quick word with Emily, she was ushered into the tent and introduced herself as Lieutenant Erin T. Brave.

Her flaming red hair and elf-like petiteness were quite striking. Could she really be my savior in this time of need, I thought to myself?

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, about to hold out my hand and then remembering that it was cuffed to the tent pole. “So glad you’re here. I’m in a lot of trouble as you no doubt know.”

“I’ve been briefed through the regular JAG channels, Lieutenant Moore, and yes you are in deep shit. How the fuck did you manage it?”

“It comes naturally, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get right down to business and talk about your defense.”

“Sure. But before we begin, do you mind if I ask about your credentials? You seem awfully young and perhaps inexperienced at this. How many cases have you handled?”

“South Texas School of Law. And this is my first case.”

“Ohhh ...”

“Don’t worry. What I lack in experience I make up for in zeal. ‘I’ve got your back’ is my personal motto.”

“Well ... uh ... that’s good Erin ... may I call you Erin? ... because these guys are out to get me, and I fear this is going to turn out to be a kind of kangaroo-style court with the entire deck stacked against me.”

“We’ll counter their every move,” she assured me, radiating a confidence I struggled to share.

“I hope you’re right. I did gather a lot of evidence against them, chronicling their lewd and irresponsible behaviors. I even had photos and physical evidence.”

“Great! Where is it?”

“Gone, unfortunately. Someone swiped it when I left it unguarded.”

“So, no evidence, huh? You’re word against officers who outrank you? Presided over by a General who is a frat buddy with the ranking officer on the judging panel?”

“Yeah. Hey! Wait! I didn’t tell you about that frat house connection between Praetorius and Phlebas!”

“Didn’t have to. I read it in the JAG dispatches between the two of them.”

“Oh, sneaky! Do you think we can use that against them?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Cause Praetorius is a friggin’ Brigadier General. He’s untouchable.”

“Oh shit!”

“Never mind. I’ll run legal circles around these guys. Remember, Lieutenant Moore, I got your back.”

“Call me Barb.”

“Ok, Barb. What I think you need most right now is a little relaxation.”

“What did you have in mind?” I said, watching her quizzically as she began unbuttoning her uniform blouse.

“You’ll see, sweetie,” she replied, shedding her blouse, tossing it aside, and calling out to MP Emily to please come in and release my wrist from the tent pole.

“Ohhhh ...” said Emily, coming in just as Erin undid her bra.

“Want to join in?” asked Erin with a sly wink.

“I would, but I value my career in the military. You two go right ahead while I mosey over to the mess tent for a cup of coffee,” laughed Emily as she freed the cuff from my wrist.

When she was gone Erin said to me, “Well Barb, get undressed fast. We haven’t much time.”

I don’t know what came over me, dear Diary. I suppose it was the stress ... maybe the after effects of the horny potion I had consumed the day before. But before I knew it we were both naked and Lieutenant Brave was on my lap and I was kissing and nibbling at the nape of her neck.

“Mmmmmmmmmm ... love that,” purred Erin.

“I got your back,” I quipped playfully.

8FF0D8A2-CEDA-4EDD-BCA4-E5021F819297.jpeg

And it was then ... we were just getting into it and the juices were flowing ... that we were startled by the blinding glare of a flash bulb.”

“Oh Shit!” I exclaimed. It’s the Rodent again! I’m doomed. They’ll use that pic, for sure, to hammer the last nail in my coffin!”

“Probably mine too,” gulped Erin.
 
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given that sensually magical night I so generously bestowed upon him a few years ago in his Mayflower Hotel bedroom suite
On his credit card, no doubt (though they didn't have those in 1951). You certainly do go for the 5-star accommodations, though...
You could at least spell my name right, Moore. A dozen extra for that!!!
“It comes naturally, I guess.”
At least you are self aware.
And this is my first case.”
She's never lost a case!!!
 
8 April 1951, 0700

Dear Diary,

My entry today reflects my deep sense of foreboding regarding the drumhead court martial that Brigadier General Praetorius has ordered today for 0930 hours.

I will be on trial and my whole military career, and possibly a whole lot more, hangs in the balance. As you are aware, there’s been a terrible turn of events leading up to this. General Praetorius, rather than being the staunch ally I had imagined he would be ... given that sensually magical night I so generously bestowed upon him a few years ago in his Mayflower Hotel bedroom suite ... he has turned out to be an old frat house buddy of none other than Colonel Phlebas.

And, rather than bringing charges against Colonel Phlebas and Captains Tree, Wragg, Jolly and Goldman (as well as that little shutterbugging scoundrel, Corporal Rodent), and seeing them all carted off to Leavenworth, where they rightfully belong, Praetorius has impaneled the whole stinking lot of them ... with the exception of Corporal Rodent ... to pass judgement on me in my coming trial.

The only good news ... I think ... is that I have been granted legal counsel. She was helicoptered in at around dusk last night, and sent straight to the tent in which I was detained under the watchful eye of MP Emily. After a quick word with Emily, she was ushered into the tent and introduced herself as Lieutenant Erin T. Brave.

Her flaming red hair and elf-like petiteness were quite striking. Could she really be my savior in this time of need, I thought to myself?

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, about to hold out my hand and then remembering that it was cuffed to the tent pole. “So glad you’re here. I’m in a lot of trouble as you no doubt know.”

“I’ve been briefed through the regular JAG channels, Lieutenant Moore, and yes you are in deep shit. How the fuck did you manage it?”

“It comes naturally, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get right down to business and talk about your defense.”

“Sure. But before we begin, do you mind if I ask about your credentials? You seem awfully young and perhaps inexperienced at this. How many cases have you handled?”

“South Texas School of Law. And this is my first case.”

“Ohhh ...”

“Don’t worry. What I lack in experience I make up for in zeal. ‘I’ve got your back’ is my personal motto.”

“Well ... uh ... that’s good Erin ... may I call you Erin? ... because these guys are out to get me, and I fear this is going to turn out to be a kind of kangaroo-style court with the entire deck stacked against me.”

“We’ll counter their every move,” she assured me, radiating a confidence I struggled to share.

“I hope you’re right. I did gather a lot of evidence against them, chronicling their lewd and irresponsible behaviors. I even had photos and physical evidence.”

“Great! Where is it?”

“Gone, unfortunately. Someone swiped it when I left it unguarded.”

“So, no evidence, huh? You’re word against officers who outrank you? Presided over by a General who is a frat buddy with the ranking officer on the judging panel?”

“Yeah. Hey! Wait! I didn’t tell you about that frat house connection between Praetorius and Phlebas!”

“Didn’t have to. I read it in the JAG dispatches between the two of them.”

“Oh, sneaky! Do you think we can use that against them?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Cause Praetorius is a friggin’ Brigadier General. He’s untouchable.”

“Oh shit!”

“Never mind. I’ll run legal circles around these guys. Remember, Lieutenant Moore, I got your back.”

“Call me Barb.”

“Ok, Barb. What I think you need most right now is a little relaxation.”

“What did you have in mind?” I said, watching her quizzically as she began unbuttoning her uniform blouse.

“You’ll see, sweetie,” she replied, shedding her blouse, tossing it aside, and calling out to MP Emily to please come in and release my wrist from the tent pole.

“Ohhhh ...” said Emily, coming in just as Erin undid her bra.

“Want to join in?” asked Erin with a sly wink.

“I would, but I value my career in the military. You two go right ahead while I mosey over to the mess tent for a cup of coffee,” laughed Erin as she freed the cuff from my wrist.

When she was gone Erin said to me, “Well Barb, get undressed fast. We haven’t much time.”

I don’t know what came over me, dear Diary. I suppose it was the stress ... maybe the after effects of the horny potion I had consumed the day before. But before I knew it we were both naked and Lieutenant Brave was on my lap and I was kissing and nibbling at the nape of her neck.

“Mmmmmmmmmm ... love that,” purred Erin.

“I got your back,” I quipped playfully.

View attachment 695207

And it was then ... we were just getting into it and the juices were flowing ... that we were startled by the blinding glare of a flash bulb.”

“Oh Shit!” I exclaimed. It’s the Rodent again! I’m doomed. They’ll use that pic, for sure, to hammer the last nail in my coffin!”

“Probably mine too,” gulped Erin.
Hot episode. These two should set the court tent on fire!:firedevil:
 
There again are disparaging remarks about Tree

I can’t think of any other kind to make :devil:

and as far as I can see there's very little on her at the moment!

Wow, RR is awfully quick with the film developing :confused:

Hot episode. These two should set the court tent on fire!:firedevil:

Preparing yet another criminal charge against? Article 7356:21 B of the military criminal code: though shall not set tents on fire. Penalty: bend over and take 15. :facepalm:
 
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At least we can rest easy that Lt. Moore will be given the equal justice that she deserves. With a energetic (and erotic) young attorney like Erin, she will receive the best defense possible. All will work out in the end and the true culprits will suffer while Barb is vindicated!

Oh! Did I forget to write "Once upon a time" at the beginning of that?
 
I just came across an Article, “Jag Justice in Korea”, Arthur John Keeffe, published in Catholic University Law Review in 1956

https://scholarship.law.edu/cgi/vie.../&httpsredir=1&article=3048&context=lawreview

It is disturbing, to say the least, that the following passage is included:

The author was able to study the complete court-martial record in
only two Korean cases, one which will be referred to as "B.A.M." and the
other as "E.T.B." The trial in each case was inexcusably conducted.

Could this be referring to our two intrepid Ladies?:confused: What does this mean about the justice of Moore’s trial?:oops: About the fate of Erin?:eek:
 
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I just came across an Article, “Jag Justice in Korea”, Arthur John Keeffe, published in Catholic University Law Review in 1956

https://scholarship.law.edu/cgi/vie.../&httpsredir=1&article=3048&context=lawreview

It is disturbing, to say the least, that the following passage is included:

The author was able to study the complete court-martial record in
only two Korean cases, one which will be referred to as "B.A.M." and the
other as "E.T.B." The trial in each case was inexcusably conducted.

Could this be referring to our two intrepid Ladies? What does this mean about the justice of Moore’s trial? About the fate of Erin?

Oh Shit!:confused::facepalm:
 
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