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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
) that it's not a question of size but of "savoir faire" (knowledge) ... 
connoisseurs
Senator
For the playful among us
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
If you land your plane on the wrong carrier...
there's bound to be graffiti.
there's bound to be graffiti.
connoisseurs
Senator
That could be me
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Seriously, I might have just left.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
connoisseurs
Senator
Fear is the most frequent reason for missed opportunities.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Even the duck was offended
DjEtla
Magistrate
That's very well done. It probably happens fairly often in real life too.
connoisseurs
Senator
Conned...
But I am sure, nobody from CF would ever do something like that
But I am sure, nobody from CF would ever do something like that
Nail Her to the Cross
Magistrate
You'd look much better nailed...totally nude....your ass mounted on a comus on the cross...and your dance of lust would be exciting to watch....
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it"
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £40,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly £5,000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a eight incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision."
"And what is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting a new kitchen with granite countertops."
The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it"
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £40,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly £5,000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a eight incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision."
"And what is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting a new kitchen with granite countertops."
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Time to break out the WD-40?
Or the K-Y Jelly?
Or the K-Y Jelly?
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
My old brain had to look three times before I got it!
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
A regular theatregoer was dismayed to find that he had a seat near the rear of the house for the performance of an eagerly awaited mystery thriller.
With half an hour to go before curtain up, he summoned an usher and said: 'Could you possibly help me? I have been looking forward to this play for weeks, but I am not happy with my seat. you see, my eyesight and hearing are not what they were and, in order to be able to follow the intricate plot and work out the clues, I need a seat nearer the front of the house. If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.'
The usher promised to do what he could and after twenty-five minutes of delicate negotiations, he was finally able to offer the man a seat right in the middle of the front row.
The man took his seat, thanked the usher, and handed him a solitary Euro by way of a tip.
The deflated usher took one look at the coin and then whispered in the man's ear: 'The butler did it with the candlestick in the ballroom.'
With half an hour to go before curtain up, he summoned an usher and said: 'Could you possibly help me? I have been looking forward to this play for weeks, but I am not happy with my seat. you see, my eyesight and hearing are not what they were and, in order to be able to follow the intricate plot and work out the clues, I need a seat nearer the front of the house. If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.'
The usher promised to do what he could and after twenty-five minutes of delicate negotiations, he was finally able to offer the man a seat right in the middle of the front row.
The man took his seat, thanked the usher, and handed him a solitary Euro by way of a tip.
The deflated usher took one look at the coin and then whispered in the man's ear: 'The butler did it with the candlestick in the ballroom.'
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
The proper use (or non-use) of a space makes the meaning clear!
Oh! The ambiguities of English Vocabulary!
