Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Learned from a Rodent?
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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
connoisseurs
Senator
The book "How to train your dog" wasn´t really helpful for her.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
But very useful for the dog (who apparently read the fine print).
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
A mother travelled two thousand miles around the world to be with her only son on the day he received his Air Force Wings and also got married.
'Thank you for coming,' he said afterwards 'it meant so much to me'
'I wouldn't have missed it,' she said. 'After all, it's not every day a mother watches her son get his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the afternoon.'
Wife: Why don't you ever wear your wedding ring?
Husband: It cuts off my circulation.
Wife: It's supposed to.
A new neighbour said to the young woman next door 'If you don't mind me saying so, you and your husband don't seem to have much in common. Why on earth did you get married?'
The young woman sighed: 'I suppose it was the old business of opposites attract - he wasn't pregnant and I was!'
A young couple returned from their honeymoon barely on speaking terms.
The best man asked the groom what the problem was.
The groom explained: 'After making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom and I put a fifty dollar bill on the pillow without thinking.'
'Don't worry,' said the groom reassuringly. 'She'll get over it. She surely didn't think you'd been saving yourself all these years?'
'Maybe,' said the groom. 'But I don't know if I'll get over it - she gave me twenty dollars change!'
When a young woman was getting married, she asked to wear her mother's wedding dress.
Seeing her daughter walk into the room for the first time, the gown a perfect fit on her petite frame, made the mother burst into tears.
The daughter put a comforting arm around her. 'It's like they always say,' she said. 'You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son.'
'That's not why I'm crying,' said the mother. 'I used to fit into that dress!'
'Thank you for coming,' he said afterwards 'it meant so much to me'
'I wouldn't have missed it,' she said. 'After all, it's not every day a mother watches her son get his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the afternoon.'
Wife: Why don't you ever wear your wedding ring?
Husband: It cuts off my circulation.
Wife: It's supposed to.
A new neighbour said to the young woman next door 'If you don't mind me saying so, you and your husband don't seem to have much in common. Why on earth did you get married?'
The young woman sighed: 'I suppose it was the old business of opposites attract - he wasn't pregnant and I was!'
A young couple returned from their honeymoon barely on speaking terms.
The best man asked the groom what the problem was.
The groom explained: 'After making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom and I put a fifty dollar bill on the pillow without thinking.'
'Don't worry,' said the groom reassuringly. 'She'll get over it. She surely didn't think you'd been saving yourself all these years?'
'Maybe,' said the groom. 'But I don't know if I'll get over it - she gave me twenty dollars change!'
When a young woman was getting married, she asked to wear her mother's wedding dress.
Seeing her daughter walk into the room for the first time, the gown a perfect fit on her petite frame, made the mother burst into tears.
The daughter put a comforting arm around her. 'It's like they always say,' she said. 'You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son.'
'That's not why I'm crying,' said the mother. 'I used to fit into that dress!'
connoisseurs
Senator
The real trick is to stick it up the bottom end and pull it out this end
connoisseurs
Senator
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
An ability apparently beyond her (Barb!)
Pick-up Lines:
For the next dull conference
For the Video inclined
Hoping she's in the right mood
Test for the Seniors (and not too seniors out there.
connoisseurs
Senator
How careless! Doesn´t that guy realize how fast he could get burned by the firework?
connoisseurs
Senator
Reality can hurt!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
What every bride needs to know
Naraku
Draconarius
Wrong!
This is what every bride needs to know.
Trust me. Learn to do this well and your man will give you what ever you want.
connoisseurs
Senator
For the first thirty years you are right. After that she will win with the other book
connoisseurs
Senator
Sometimes it is helpfull to seek advice from seasoned person.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
bump
No squirrel touches Tree's Seagram's...
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
Life its ownself...
