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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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sympazero2 said:
An old one (If you haven't heard it it's new to you.
Besides it's Friday and I'm scraping the barrel):

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear zippers.



Ego Stipes Ergo Sum
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Yikes.

Now, is this photo evidence that a Swiss passport can take you anywhere?

DGIw7ChXsAE0xDq.jpg
 
Loxuru said:
Why do the words 'passport with biometric data' come up to me?:D
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Just what kind of "biometric" data are you thinking of here? :rolleyes:
Imagine having to give a sample at passport control!

Eulalia said:
'without let or hindrance' :devil:
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Are they words you here regularly, Barb? (ducks)

On a different note, I offer the following picture without comment
smells fishy.jpg
 
phlebas said:
Just what kind of "biometric" data are you thinking of here? :rolleyes:
Imagine having to give a sample at passport control!
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Well, every individual has unique fingerprints, and a unique iris.
But for instance, everyone also has a unique sphincter.
So there are three biometric data that can be checked. But I hope airport security will not go that far to have any passenger standing pants down and bending forward against a scanner.:eek::eek:
 
Loxuru said:
Well, every individual has unique fingerprints, and a unique iris.
But for instance, everyone also has a unique sphincter.
So there are three biometric data that can be checked. But I hope airport security will not go that far to have any passenger standing pants down and bending forward against a scanner.:eek::eek:
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Reminds me of the scene in the first Porky movie where the female head coach is talking with the principal trying to ID certain male students and the male junior coaches are laughing their asses off in the background.
 
I'll recycle an oldie, apologies to those who've read it before -
It reminds me of an old story from Oxford - three College Heads were bathing in the men's nude bathing place,
a punt passed by and girlish giggling was heard. Two of the gents grabbed their towels and covered their privates,
the third - a famously flamboyant character - put his towel over his head. When the danger had passed, his friends
asked him why he'd done that. "Gentlemen," he replied, "I at least am best known in Oxford by my face!" :D
 
Eulalia said:
I'll recycle an oldie, apologies to those who've read it before -
It reminds me of an old story from Oxford - three College Heads were bathing in the men's nude bathing place,
a punt passed by and girlish giggling was heard. Two of the gents grabbed their towels and covered their privates,
the third - a famously flamboyant character - put his towel over his head. When the danger had passed, his friends
asked him why he'd done that. "Gentlemen," he replied, "I at least am best known in Oxford by my face!" :D
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The don was (according to many reports, eg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parson's_Pleasure) the classics scholar Sir Cecil Maurice Bowra, vice-chancellor of the university in the mid-20th century.
 
Eulalia said:
That's right, and notoriously gay :D

Here's one of his many bons mots:

View attachment 532839
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And, on breaking off his engagement to a (reportedly rather ugly) lady: "Buggers can't be choosers."

"Buggery was invented to fill that awkward hour between evensong and cocktails."

"Splendid couple - slept with both of them."

John Sparrow said of Bowra: "His prose is unreadable and his verse unprintable."
 
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This stream has taken an odd turn, hasn't it? Here we all sit, drily discussing the highest of the high academics. If I'd been asked to bet money on who the last name to appear in a stream named Now This Just Isn't Funny was, I'd have bet the wife and kiddies on Maurice Bowra.

One wonders what's next? An evaluation of little Johnny Betjeman's first day at Highgate Junior School in 1914 meeting his soon to be poetry teacher T.S. Eliot (known to all pupils as "The American Master", but for reasons unclear, as "Uncle Tom", to Betjeman)?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...backlash-gender-neutral-uniform-proposal.html
0005BA1100000C1D-4658516-image-m-21_1498991641907.jpg Little Boys in (non-tartan) skirts? 20201D3600000578-4658516-image-a-22_1498991649572.jpg
Now that is Funny! ​
Ego Stipes Ergo Sum
 
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sympazero2 said:
This stream has taken an odd turn, hasn't it? Here we all sit, drily discussing the highest of the high academics. If I'd been asked to bet money on who the last name to appear in a stream named Now This Just Isn't Funny was, I'd have bet the wife and kiddies on Maurice Bowra.

One wonders what's next? An evaluation of little Johnny Betjeman's first day at Highgate Junior School in 1914 meeting his soon to be poetry teacher T.S. Eliot (known to all pupils as "The American Master", but for reasons unclear, as "Uncle Tom", to Betjeman)?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...backlash-gender-neutral-uniform-proposal.html
View attachment 533110 Little Boys in (non-tartan) skirts? View attachment 533111
Now that is Funny! ​
Ego Stipes Ergo Sum
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Funny you should mention Betjeman.
The poor man was quite overcome when he was presented to Princess Margaret. Bowra celebrated the incident in verse:


Green with lust and sick with shyness,
Let me lick your lacquered toes.
Gosh, oh gosh, your Royal Highness,
Put your finger up my nose,
Pin my teeth upon your dress,
Plant my head with watercress.
Only you can make me happy.
Tuck me tight beneath your arm.
Wrap me in a woollen nappy;
Let me wet it till it's warm.
In a plush and plated pram
Wheel me round St James's, Ma'am.
Let your sleek and soft galoshes
Slide and slither on my skin.
Swaddle me in mackintoshes
Till I lose my sense of sin.
Lightly plant your plimsolled heel
Where my privy parts congeal.

Sparrow was right of course. Quite unprintable.
 
Seeing Betjeman shy and stammering,
Positively overcome,
Bowra gave him quite a hammering,
Kicked him soundly up the bum.
Didn't show a hint of mercy
Now the chance had come around,
Cruelly began to versi-
Fy and kick him on the ground.
"That's not cricket," said John Sparrow,
"Kicking when he's down, you swine."
Bowra said, "Your mind's too narrow.
"Never be a better time."
 
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