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Personal fantasies

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PhilX

Governor
Words can be as powerful as pictures. It would be great if some of you could write about your crux imagination or desires . These can take the form of total fantasy, you can take yourself back 2000 years & imagine a scenario as either a spectator at a crucifixion, an executioner, or the victim. Give us all the gory & erotic detail.

Otherwise you could write about a possible crux re-enaction today, describing your idea of how it could be, again as either victim or otherwise. Maybe with a few of such accounts we could plan better a possible crux event (legal & safe).

Stories could be short & brutally to the point, or else long accounts with minute detail, all would be welcome.

As the nights draw in in Europe it would be fun to draw up our computers to the fireside & settle down with a bottle of wine & read some really raunchy erotic crux fantasies.

There are some great reads on the Foundation archives, but they are mostly third person accounts, a story in the first person can draw the reader right into the drama. It would also help if we knew what sex the writer is.

I can write my own fantasy, but would rather some others started this off..... any takers??
 
Sounds like a plan, PhilX.

I'd like to add that although this is an English language site, I don't mind posts in other languages here. If they are French, German, or Russian, I get to practice languages that I tried and failed to learn decades ago.

And I can always cheat; Google, AltaVista and other translation programs seem to be getting better all the time. ;-)
 
Again the response if overpowering!

I only hope that such silence is because you are all writing long & erotic accounts of your extremest fantasies, but somehow I doubt it. Shame because I’m sure you all have ideas & thoughts about crucifixion. Are your thoughts back 2000 years into history & do you see yourself as a witness to a really beautiful woman being crucified, if so let us know what happens! Are you a victim? What terrible things are being done to you? Smallest details are important, when you stagger out into the streets full of baying crowds howling for your blood & hurling insults at you, is it 40ºC & sweat is running down your body, or is there a hard frost on the ground?

If you fantasize about being a victim at a present day public crux event (if ever such a thing could happen!), what do you imagine could be the proceedure? As I say above, maybe by reading these thoughts we could actually make such fantasies reality.

Come on! LetÂ’s have some erotic reading, I want to read about the screams of a woman as, exhausted, she has to lower herself onto the cornu. Or the laughter & ridicule of the crowd watching a poor bloke struggling to stop his growing erection. There is so much to write about.
 
A Fantasy ?

For me, the fantasy involves being the victim in a true modern day crucifixion and goes something like this: We've discussed the details for months over the internet. I've found my executioner, or, I should say he's found his victim. I'm to travel to an isolated location when summoned and, there , I'm to suffer the passion of the cross in all it's horrors. I'm to be tried, conviced and sentenced to death on the cross. I will be publicly stripped and tortured without mercy in front of a crowd. I will be fastened to a whipping post and scourged as in ancient Rome. Then, the heavy patibullum will be placed on my shoulders and I will be forced to carry it to the place of execution. There I will be tied to the cross and crucified in front of a crowd. I will be left to hang from the cross with no footrest and no seat, just a hard crucifixion. It was agreed beforehand that there would be no safewords and NO LIMITS. This is a real crucifixion.
Once I agree to participate there is NO WAY OUT. I am going to suffer the passion of the cross.
This is the outline of my fantasy, may I expand on it?
 
Sounds incredibly lethal, Onthecross. But as long as it remains in the realm of fantasy, I have no objection.

Go for it.

Nails of course are right out. But the way Makar ties his models hurts a hell of a lot. His most resilient subjects last a maximum of 20 minutes.

Do you want to try that? I can put you in touch. And you may have to travel to Moscow.

Hmmm. I have been trying to add an attachment for the last ten minutes, and failing. No matter. I'll try again tomorrow.
 
Yes please 'Onthecross', give is all the details! With luck it will get others' imagination going.
 
Fantasy - Modern crux - Part 1

When the Email arrived I didn't notice it right away. It was only at the end of the day as I was getting ready to leave the office that I realised what it was. As I opened it and read, my heart stopped. I never really believed that they would go through with it. Oh sure! we had made plans on the internet and talked about it lots, but that's all I though it was, just talk. It had been lots of fun, discussing details on how we'd do it and how it was done in ancient times, but this? I panicked for a few seconds as I read. But everything was quite clear. I had agreed to it all months ago. There was no choice in the matter for me. As we had said months ago, there was NO WAY OUT.

I was being summoned to the place and time of my Execution. I had been chosen and was the one that was going to hang from the cross. We had chatted for months about crucifixion and how it was the ultimate form of capital punishment and how it was to bad that we couldn't witness one today. We discussed what it must have been like to watch someone struggle for hours on the cross without any hope of escape, to see the victim's body racked by pain as the cross did it's work methodically and without let up. We had talked about what it must be like to be the victim who is sentenced to die on the cross and knows how much he must suffer before the end. We wondered what thoughts went through his mind as the death sentence was read out, the fear he must have felt at the ordeal he was to face. We discussed what the executioners would have felt as they plied their trade and made the victim suffer as much as possible during his last days and hours. We talked about the methods used, the tortures applied, the scourging. the construction of the cross. the carrying of the patibullum, how to attach th condemned to the cross, how long he'd last, everything.

Finally, someone suggested we should carry out a real crucifixion and find out...
 
As the discussions progressed, the group quickly became divided into two camps. the Executioners and the victims. I had chosen the latter. From the postings, there appeared to be more members in the first group. As time went on the groups began to separate and discuss among themselves. Communication between them became rarer and only occured when needed to advance the cause. We discussed what it must be like to hang from the cross and what a victim must feel as he/she suffers the passion of the cross. Finally, when we thought that everything had been said, contact stopped for a while.

After a few weeks of silence, the Executioners' group came back with a proposition for the group. They proposed that a real crucifixion event be held in an isolated area of their choosing and that a victim be chosen among our group and crucified in front of everybody. It was to be a real crucifixion where once a victim agreed to let his/her name stand there was no way out and no limits. If selected, the victim could not change his mind and back down. He was going to suffer the whole crux experience from arrest to crucifixion, just as in ancient Rome. They proposed that a sort of lottery be held to select the victim ,where those who were prepared to submit could enter their names and the Executioners would chose who would suffer the ordeal for the entertainment of the whole group.

I decided to enter. They contacted each member of the victims' group individually to explain the rules of the game. This was to be a real crucifixion. There were no limits as to what could be done to the victim. As in ancient times, it was up to the Executioners as to how the sentence was to be carried out. Once selected there would be no turning back. As in Rome, it was a final sentence. It was made very clear that if selected, I was going to have to suffer the entire ordeal without any possibility of escape and was going to hang from the cross. They briefly explained what the steps would be and how the event would unfold. We were required to divulge our true identities, addresses, banking information and credit card numbers. This was done so that once selected, the chosen victim could not change his mind. If he tried to, he would be hunted down, abducted and taking to the location. There, he/she would be tortured without mercy for days and finally, nailed to the cross and left to die. One way or another there was going to be a crucifixion. I decided to stay in.

I hadn't heard anything for months form the Executioners. Nor had the other members of our group. We all said that it had probably fizzled out like all the other attempts to form crux groups, but it was fun fantisizing and, was fun while it lasted. Some of us tried to contact the Executioners' group, but received no response. It was as if they all dissappeared. I hadn't talked to any member of either group for several weeks now and had put the whole thing in the back of my mind. Until today!
 
Sorry to interupt "onthecross" but I just had a revelation!

A beach scene! Why not stage a crucifixion on one of the most sensual locations, on a beach?

If I were to ever stage this bondage scene with some friends, then we would surely head down or take a vacation to a beautiful beach. I could definitly imagine being tied to a cross made out of beachwood worn down by the sands of time. Infront of all my friends, perhaps in robes to conceal annonymity in this possibly - veru real, very public location. Imagine a crucifixion on a beach, by twilight, beachwalkers stroll by and stop to gawk at the torture of the crucifixion victim.

Ahhh, ropes, of course, no nails, but definitely I'd like to be tied like the girls in CruxDreams.com - they seem very capable to move about and traverse several different crux positions with little trouble. Being fit as I am, I'm rather confident I could last that way for hours... then of course as I start to moan and possibly cry out from pain one of the female spectators is chosen to suck me off before the group of hooded men/women take me down.

... god-bless this kink! It's by far my favorite, cause for some reason it's full of drama (the drama of death) and also beautiful form.
 
What a great start Onthecross, I am enjoying the build-up & the way you are not giving it to us all at once.
I await the next stage with pleasure.

A crux event on a beach is an idea, but to find an empty beach it would have to be in the winter - Brrr!
 
Part - 3

The Email was quite long and detailed. The first part explained that I had been selected as the victim and had agreed to all the conditions previously. It went on to reinterate those terms, namely that there where no limits as to what I would have to endure and that the selection was final and that I could not back out. I was expected to voluntarly surrender myself to my executioners at the appointed time and place. From there, I would be transported to the place where the sentence would be carried out. There was no choice in the matter for me. From now on, I was a condemned prisoner awaiting his fate. I was going to hang from the cross. The Email went on to indicate the time and place where I was to rendez-vous with my executioners. It did not say where the event would take place, only where I was was to meet them and when.

I was given three days from today to get all my affairs in order and travel across the continent to meet my fate. On the third day, I was expected to be at the designated pick-up point on time to be taken away for execution. If I had any ideas about trying to reneg on our agreement or trying to run, the following paragraph in the message removed all doubt about the seriousness of the consequences of such a decision. My blood ran cold as I read it. It contained a detailed account of all my mouvements for the last several weeks, including times and places of appointments and the names of people I met. It also contained up to date records of all my financial transactions for the past several weeks. But the most disturbing part of it was a series of recent photographs of me and members of my family, some only a few hours old. Someone was watching me, probably even now as I read the message. It was very clear that I had NO WAY OUT. My fate was sealed and I had to accept it. I was beginning to realise what it meant to be sentenced to die on the cross. My transformation had begun.

For the next hour I just sat there, starring at the message, stunned by what had just happened. I knew I couldn't back out, but how? How had this just happened? One minute I'm working away, just a normal day and the next, I'm going to be crucified! Just like in Ancient Rome. After playing the events over and over in my head for hours, I started planning. I went online and booked a flight for the next evening. I started phoning appointments and cancelling. I emailed everybody I could think of that would need to get hold of me in the next few weeks and told them an emergency had come up and that I would be away for a while. I told my family that there was an emergency meeting at Head office to discuss a very serious situation that was developing and I didn't know how long I would be gone. It went smoother than I expected. The next day, I tied up all the loose ends that I could think of and packed for the trip. I packed two suitcases, one for appearences and a small carry-on one for the trip. I knew I wouldn't need much where I was going. I was starting to accept my fate.
 
When I arrived at the airport, I parked the car and left the large suitcase in the trunk. I checked in and got my boarding pass quickly as my flight was leaving in half an hour. I didn't even think about getting something to read on the plane, I just wanted to get going. When I finally sat down in my seat and we became airborn, my transformation truly began. All thoughts of my present life evaporated. I began to ponder what it must have been like for past victims of the cross and what must have went through their minds as they awaited their fate, as I did now.

I thought of all the steps of the crucifixion that I was going to have to endure. I wondered what I would feel as I heard the sentence pronounced. I felt a shudder of terror as I thought about being handed over to the executioners. I thought about how I would feel as I was forced to publically strip in front of everybody. I wondered how long I would be tortured for the enjoyment of the crowd. I knew it was all going to be real. That's what I had agreed to. I thought about the whipping post and what it was going to feel like to be fastened to it. They had said that it was going to be a full scourging with 78 lashes, just like in ancient times and that if the victim fainted, he would be revived and the scourging resumed until completed. I knew how much victims suffered during it and that many even died. That's why the Romans called it the "half-death", the victim was half dead by the end. I thought about the heavy patibullum and how I would have to carry it naked to the place of execution, mercilessly beaten every step of the way. I imagined what I will feel as I see the tall stirpe and know that I am about to hang from it without any possibility of escape. I wondered what it is going to be like to feel myself being fastened to the patibullum and knowing that any second I'm going to be hoisted on to the cross. I imagined what it was going to feel like to finally be crucified and to hang there in front of everybody in agony and humiliation, completely naked for all to witness.

As the flight continued, my mind played back all the stories and images of crucifixion that I had heard thoughout the years. I remembered all the photos I had seen of victims suffering on the cross. I recounted all the facts that I had heard about the different stages that the victim goes through while he hangs on ths cross and how the whole process of crucifixion was designed to punish the unfortunate victim in the most public and brutal way imaginable. I remembered an article I read about how the cross breaks the body and mind of the victim as he struggles to remain alive on it. I also thought about how the whole process turned me on and that because of this I was going to suffer the same fate. I realised that I deserved to die on the cross! This is what I had wanted all my life.

By the time the plane landed, I was ready to be crucified.
 
Fantasy - Part 4

I quickly left the plane and proceeded to the car rental kiosk. I picked up my vehicle and was on my way in minutes. I found the Interstate and started to travel south on it as instructed in the Email. I had never been to New Mexico before, but found it to be quite warm, even this late in the day. It was already 9 P.M. and I still had a few hours driving before I got to my motel. As per my instructions I continued down the highway for about 2 hours. The further from the city I got the more desolate it became. I could tell because there were fewer and fewer lights along the way. By the time I got to the designated turnoff, I hadn't seen a light by the side of the road for at least a half an hour. I turned on the a two lane highway as I had been instructed and continued to drive. It was conpletely deserted. I was the only car on the road. It was midnight by the time I saw the lights of a tiny town appear. Just before I got to it, I found the motel, just like the instructions said. The room had been prebooked by the group and the key was in the door of Room 5, just like they said it would be. The owners had long since retired for the night. I got into my room and turned on the light. On the bed was an envelope with the word "Condemned" on it. I opened it and read the letter inside. It gave instructions of the prepartation I had to make the next morning and directions to the final rendez-vous point where I was to begin the final leg of my journey to the cross.

I tried to get some rest, but found it hard to get to sleep. I did manage to get a few hours in before morning. I was awake early with visions of crucifixion playing in my head. I was getting very anxious. I got up and made myself a cup of coffee with the machine in the room and turned on the TV. The weather for the next few days was going to be sunny and hot with daytime highs reaching 95 degrees F. After I finished my coffee I read the letter one more time. It instructed me on the preparations I had to make for my ordeal. I was to get up early, done. Then I was to take a shower and completely shaved off of all body hair everywhere. I had to be totaly clean shaven from the neck down. Strange, I thought to myself. But I didn't dare disobey. I did as instructed, then I got dressed, picked up my things and left the room. I didn'y even check out. I bought some gas a a little general store about a mile down the road and drove out of town. In the daylight I could see that I was in the middle of nowhere. After about two or three miles there was nothing, not a house, not a car on the road, not even any power lines. Just a two lane highway going on forever. About half an hour out of town the road turned from asphalt to gravel. I countinued for about 15 minutes until I got to the rendez-vous point. I was about 20 minutes early and the plce was deserted. I pulled of the main road and drove down a sort of driveway for about 500 feet. There was no house or anything. the driveway just stopped in the woods. Here, I left the car, picked up my thing and walked back to the road. I waited on the side of the road for about 10 minutes before I heard an engine approche. It was about a minute before I saw the vehicule, a white commercial van with no windows or makings on it. My heart was racing as it slowed down. I was struck with terror because I knew this was it! I was about to be delivered to my executioners.
 
Fantasy -Part 4

The van pulled up beside me and the driver opened his window. He was a large man and was wearing dark sunglasses, just like you'd expect to see in a movie. There was also someone on the passanger side. "Get in" was all he said as he motioned towards the side door, nothing else. I was surprised. I was kinda expecting a little more. I scrambled to get inside. The interior was completly barren, with a solid division betweem the back and the cab. I threw in my bag and closed the door. It was pitch black inside and hot.

We immediatly got going. I could feel the van turning around and going back in the direction it came. We drove for at least an hour. The road was getting rougher the further we went. I assumed that we were going deeper into the forest, away from civilisation. They were driving quite fast and I was getting banged around a lot. At one point, we stopped for a moment. I could hear the passanger get out. In a few seconds the van pulled ahead a short distance and stopped again. A few seconds latter the passanger got back in. I thought that we had probably gone though a locked gate. We continued on for quite a while after that. The road was really bumpy passed that point. We finally stopped abruptly and the back door opened.

As my eyes adjusted to the midday light, I saw that there was a Jeep with two guys stopped behind us. They both got out and started walking towards me. The driver and passanger of the van also got out and came around to the back. "Get out" one of them said. I quickly obeyed. When I was out, I saw that we were stopped on an old bridge. It looked like an abandoned railroad crossing. It was quite high an had very fast moving water running below. I had been sweating a lot in the back of the van because it was a hot day and there was no air conditioning back there. Hot in there? he said with a smirk. Yes, I nodded. " Well, it's going to get a lot hotter before we're done with you." he said. Turning towards the driver, he asked "This the Bastard?' Before he got an answer he looked back at me and ordered, " Strip, take everything off, you can keep your socks and underware for now, we've got to leave something for the crowd." I hesitated for a moment. I was immediatly struck from behind. Down, I went on the deck of the bridge. Before I came to my sense, the man who had been the passanger in the van yelled " Take your fucking clothes off" I fumbled to remove my shoes as I sat there and then got up and undressed as fast as I could. As soon as I was done, one of them picked everything up. He walked to the side of the bridge and threw everything over. Then, he went to the van, took out my bag, emptied the contents over the side of the bridge and then pitched it in.
 
This is turning out to be a great story, well done! I hope you can keep the momentum going when things get tough.

Only one worry - it's so good I hope it doesn't put others off having a go at writing as well.
 
Fantasy [ Part 5

The Driver of the van started " From now on you're nothing but a filthy prisoner, get it? You're going to get what your kind deserve. You've got no rights here. Do you understand? "Yes" I said. "You're gonna obey everything we say or it'll be worst than you can imagine. Remember what you agreed to. There's NO WAY OUT for you. There's a lot of people here who've come for the show and we're gonna give them what they came for. Understand? Yes, I nodded. I was terrified and yet, there was a sort of almost excitement. I knew I deserved this, I had always known it. He then turned to one of the men and said, "Give it to him". The man handed me three small pills and said "Take them". I picked up the pills and put them in my mouth. With some difficulty, I managed to swallow them. They didn't bother to give me any water with them and my mouth was dry from the heat and the fear. He then took out a piece of dirty manilla rope and secured my wrists behind my back. With a second piece, he looped my elbows and pulled them as tight as he could and tied them off. This caused a great degree of pain in my arms and shoulders. Another one of them put a black hood over my head and secured it. Although I had no difficulty breathing, I was completely blind. Two of them grabbed me by the arms and put me back in the van. In seconds we were underway again.
 
Fantasy - Part 5 con't

As we drove, I though of what was happening to me. I was now truly a condemned man. I knew my fate. From the look in their eyes, I could tell. This was real. It hit me, I was actually going to be crucified! My heart raced, I was short of breath. I felt almost sick. Whithin hours, I was going to be nailed to the cross! My mind was racing. Images and bits of information about crucifixion played in my head on fast-forward. I was going to die on the cross.

All of a sudden a strange feeling came over me and shook me out of my state of near panic. I could feel myself getting an erection. I immediatly knew it was the pills. During one of our chat sessions when we were discussing scenarios, someone mentioned that it would be a good idea to give the victim something to cause him to get rock hard. This would humiliate him more and could be used to torture him. Someone said that there was a combination of pills that could be given that would cause a large and painfull erection that was permanent and would not go away no matter how much the victim suffered or how long he hung on the cross. One female member even suggested that a sort of harness could be built that could be wrapped around the erect member and the balls and that the victim could be hanged by it in front of the crowd prior to crucifixion as a sort of punishment for all crimes against women. Could this be my fate? I thought.

The van finally began to slow down and, then stopped...
 
Fantasy - Part 6

Within seconds the doors opened and someone jumped in and grabbed hold of me. I was pulled out of the van and made to stand. I was drenched with sweat. They orderded me to start walking as someone took hold of each of my arms. It was difficult because of the hood and the fact that I had no shoes on. The ground was very rough and uneven and was covered with sharp rocks. They hurried me on for some distance before we came to some steps. I was lead up 3 or 4 stairs and then I heard a door open. I was being taken inside of some sort of building. I could feel the wooden floors underfoot and could tell that there was a crowd of people present. I was ordered to stop and stand still. I could hear voices speaking and comments being made about me. "He's pretty thin, he should last a few days" someone said. "I don't know, it's gonna be pretty hot for the rest of the week. Look at him, He's gonna bake up there. I don't think he'll last past tomorrow night. Especially with what they're gonna do to him tonight." someone answered "Ya, I suppose you're right." said the first one. Someone interjected " Did you see the fuckin' whips they got? There must be a dozen. They've even got some Roman ones, Just like in the movie "The Passion". "Well, what did you expect? This is suppose to be the real thing."someone else answered. "It's gonna be a good show" came the response.

All of a sudden, the room grew completely silent. I was ordered to my knees. I could hear whispering. Suddenly, a voice that I hadn't heard before spoke. "Is this the prisoner?". "Yes my Lord" answered the man who was driving the Jeep. "Remove the hood" he ordered. Someone undid the hood a quickly pulled it off. I was in a large room surrounded by, maybe, 20 peoples. About half a dozen were dressed in a sort of uniform. I would soon find out that these were the members who had volunteered for the execution squad and would act as my guards, torturers and finally, crucifiers. There was also a man of about 60 years old, the one they addressed as "My Lord". He was the leader of the gathering and the one who organised the whole thing. He would direct the events and act as Judge and Chief torturer. The rest were all spectators. the ones who came to watch. Some of them would also play significant roles in my suffering in the coming hours and days. There were male and female participants aged from there early 20s to there 60s.

The Judge began to speak "This man is charged with the most hainous of crimes, he is a traitor and a thief. He has brought untold suffering to our people with his acts." Everyone listened intently as he continues, "I have reviewed the evidence presented and have come to the conclusion that there is only one possible sentence for such a vile individual. Only one possible way that he can partially atone for his acts. He must suffer the cruelest of fates. One that fits the seriousness of his crimes.
 
He looked at me and began to speak, "Adam Smith, upon review of all the evidence before me. I have come to the conclusion that you are guilty of the crimes as charged. Due to the seriousness of the nature of your crimes and your total disregard for the harm caused to others, I have no hesitation in applying the maximum possible sentence to you. Adam Smith, you are hereby sentenced to Death for the crimes committed. It is the opinion of this court that due to the nature of your crimes that this sentence be carried out in the cruellest and most public manner possible. I hereby ordered that you be executed by the method of crucifixion. You are to be taken from this court immediatly for the sentence to be carried out. It is further ordered that you be publicly tortured from this moment forward. until tomorrow, the day of your crucifixion. At that time you are to be scourged for the full complement of 78 lashes and then ,you will be taken to the place of your execution where you are to be relieved of any article of clothing that you may still possess and are to be fastened to the cross and crucified until you are dead. You're body is to remain on the cross after you death as a warning to any others who may be tempted to act as you did." He then turned and walked away. That was it, I had been sentenced to die on the cross.

The final part of my journey was beginning. I felt nothing, I wasn't scared or even nervous. It was as if it was preordained, it was suppose to happen like this. Wasn't that why I followed the sites on the internet and seeked out the chat rooms. Wasn't that why I let my name stand as a victim. I knew the price and was willing to pay it. It was my destiny to suffer on the cross. I had wanted it all my life. I'd watch all the crucifixion movies over and over and wished that I was the one on the whipping post and then, on the cross. I longed to fell the scourge on my back and the patibullum on my shoulders, just like the victims on the screen. I had read all the accounts and stories about crucifixion and imagined that it was me up there. I knew how the condemned suffered as they hung from the cross for days. I wanted to looked down and see the crowd gathered to watch me go through the same ordeal and, now, it was going to happen and there WAS NO WAY OUT.
 
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