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Revenge of the Pulps

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Since it looks like South Carolina is going to float out to sea and sink, I'll post a few more Pulps before the Flying Dutchman goes down!
Man's Story, date not available, slightly worn cover, but large Collectors Edition Image:
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First, please wait a moment while I check out page 40, I'm meeting someone there. Nice way to start the mag, a little personal interaction.
"Nude Virgin for the Serpent's of Lust" Interesting how they pack a lot of arousing code words in a short blurb; Nude, Virgin, Serpent, and Lust. Very economical use of space. It really tells us nothing of the story, (it never really does), but it sure makes me want to check it out!
"Dig my Grave on Hell's Island" - nitty-gritty prison story. Reading it is reserved for real men.
"Exposé : V.D. Epidemic #1 Teenage Menace" Of course this will be another teaser about loose teenagers (girls). But I wonder if they really draw a lot of readers to explore V.D.? I find it something of a buzz killer.
"Only Suckers bet on Basketball" -Men must love sports, love betting, don't want to be suckers (mnahood already a little threatened by women asking crazy things like jobs and a equal say in the family - just crazy talk!)
"Trapped by the Maidens of Fire and Ice" Real men will be able to escape (after hanging around awhile to see about those maidens).

As is usually the case with a Man's story cover, the real attraction is the artwork and main blurb. And this is outstanding.
"A Soft White Throat for the Devil's Hangman" I don't know about you, but I would love to read about that sofT white throat!
Four, big, strong, mean, Nazis are actively working one, semi-nude, arms-bound redhead! Tied to the chair in her lovely matching hot-pink undies, branded, multiple marks, one attacker threatening with the thickest cane I've every seen, this girl is really in for it, even before they place the noose around her neck. They force her to lean forward so we get a good view of cleavage!
If I could say just one thing to these four Nazi bullies, I would say, "Don't be too hasty with the noose, plenty else to do!
 
Taking a break from the monumental task of planning the recovery from this natural disaster to REBUILD an even greater Reich thread as well as working out the details of my Führerprinzip rules for this thread, your beloved Führer leader is back to dole out your daily ration of Pulp.
 
16582999412_e9b10c53a4_o.jpgLet's get right to it!
"Smash Cuba's Elite Harlot Syndicate" A very commendable idea, smash vice, free the white slave girls, very moral!; and since none of the readers ever expected to patronize Cuban Harlots, nothing lost! Wait, Cuban Harlots? Are we talking about {Kathy}, {Barbara Moore}, and {Eula} from "The Agent, The Girl, and the Fidelistas"? (shameless plug for greatest story archived in the last four days!)

"Self Test: Is your Sex Drive Slipping?" New, cutting edge scientific test: Have you gotten anything in the last six months? Do you compensate (you know what we mean!) less than weekly? Then you got a problem, Dude. Suggested cure: new discounted annual subscription.

"Youth Gone Wild: The scourge of the 60's" Surprise, the youth are doing it! More than you, you old married farts!

"EXPOSE: You're a Sucker for a Shotgun Wedding" I can see the great story behind this. Evil Fathers, prostituting their daughters, showing them how to defeat prophylactics (little pin holes in condom; saving condom for later impregnation, Oh the horror!) in order to become pregnant by this 40-year-old, beer-bellied, never married, never dated, temporarily unemployed blue collar worker with bad breath (Mal Asiento!) to force him to marry the little darling to get her off Daddy's support! On second thought, this might be a best case scenario for the guy!

"Bring out the Beauties of the Fortress of the Damned" Note the Beauties as usual are a blond and a redhead (see Barbara) the preferred hair of beauty. Lead by the wounded hunk, tenderly helping the girl with his hand on her bare tummy (so self-denying!) and uselessly waving a girls Beretta, the dauntless little band (BTW do we care about the 100 other girls still in the fortress under new management (Ministry of Terror just acquired in a private offering? A thorough inspection is in order for next month's episode) really led by that sexy redhead with the Tommy gun, limped slowly toward the 500 mile hike across a shapeless desert! Notice his tiny canteen. Clearly the girls can't be concealing supplies! (I thought you were bringing the water!!)

Doesn't it just look right to see a young lady in skimpy black underwear (much skimpier than your wife wore then - girdles were still popular) wielding an automatic weapon. Sex and shooting at the same time! Priceless, only missing a beer!
 
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These mags are interesting evidence for the history of women's undies -
I doubt they were wearing those in wartime, more likely around 1960?
But is it reliable evidence? Methinks the artists might have been biased to more scanty (OMG, I love that word!) versions. I don't think many 35 to 45-year-old hausfraus housewives had these. Of course I wouldn't know back then at 14, unless I spied on my mother! Wait! Forget I said that! I never!

I don't want to talk about it!!!!:oops::oops::oops::oops::oops::oops::oops::oops:
 
Under the Führerprinzip unwritten rules of this thread, I, as your fearless Führer Leader (dammit, why can't I get this auto-correct to work!) can post whatever the Hell I want to. So here is a joke at least 50 years old, but still good (I say so!)

A man bursts into the office of one of Hollywood's top talent agents carrying his Jack Russel Terrier.
"What is the meaning of this?" says the agent (a very original line)
"Excuse me sir. I've spent the last 15 years of my life training my dog here to talk. And he does, fluently! But I've been refused even an interview with every agent in town. You are my last hope. Please!"
"Nonsense! Leave immediately!"
"Just a moment, please!" he sets the dog down and says, "Come on, Jack, show the man." Very nervous, he asks the dog the first thing that comes to his mind. "What's over a house?" The dog eagerly replies, "Ruff!"
The agent is pissed, "Get out of my office! I'm a busy man!"
"No, please, just one more." Again unable to think with excitement he asks the dog, "How does sandpaper feel?"
"Ruff!"
The agent is livid, punches the intercom and almost screams, "Mildred! Get office security in here at once!!"
"Oh God," the man is almost crying. He turns to to dog and asks his last desperate question: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
"Ruff!"
Security bursts in and the agent has them roughly toss the man and dog out on the street.
Sitting on the curb, feet in the gutter, the man is in despair, his life's dream dead!

The dog, with typical canine sympathy looks sadly as his owner. "DiMaggio?" he asks.
 
"EXPOSE: You're a Sucker for a Shotgun Wedding" I can see the great story behind this. Evil Fathers, prostituting their daughters, showing them how to defeat prophylactics (little pin holes in condom; saving condom for later impregnation, Oh the horror!) in order to become pregnant by this 40-year-old, beer-bellied, never married, never dated, temporarily unemployed blue collar worker with bad breath (Mal Asiento!) to force him to marry the little darling to get her off Daddy's support! On second thought, this might be a best case scenario for the guy!

Recalls a great old bawdy song!:

How the Money Rolls In (Traditional?)
sung by Oscar Brand and Dave Sear


My father makes books on the corner
My mother makes second-hand gin
My sister makes love for a dollar
My god, how the money rolls in.

(Chorus Below)

Rolls in, rolls in
My god how the money rolls in, rolls in
Rolls in, rolls in,
My god, how the money rolls in.

My brother's a poor missionary
He saves fallen women from sin
He'll save you a broad for five dollars
My god, how the money rolls in.

(Chorus)

Now my grandma sells cheap prophylactics
She punctures the head with a pin
While grandpa gets rich from abortions
My god, how the money rolls in.

(Chorus)

Now my uncle is whittling out candles
From wax that is specially soft
He says that they'll come in real handy
If ever his business falls off.

(Chorus)

;)
 
Safely holed up in the Kehlsteinhaus, listening to the distant sounds of Soviet Artillery thunderstorms, I can lead Meinen Reichen this thread back to its former Glory!
 
20952032409_3b52d4f945_o.jpgMan's Book, Dec (year?) Beautiful Condition, Collectors Edition
"FOREPLAY - The Secret of Arousing a Woman's Desire" OK wait. I'm 70. Why didn't anybody mention this before? Could it be that the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal readers had never before tried foreplay? Or could they have been their generation's CFers?; if you tie her up tight enough, why bother with Foreplay. Sadly, we will never know for sure. (Ever wonder how the species reproduced itself through that time?)
"Inside Suburbia's Newest Poaching Ground for Sin and Slaughter" Sin AND Slaughter in Suburbia? and what does that have to do with poached eggs?
"Special Bonus - So Lethal, My Love" I'm getting nothing here!
"Bring out the Bound Nudes of Horror House" Now this speaks to me. The best nude is a bound nude and throw in a little Horror and I'm on board!
Sadly, this issue seemed to fall well short of the usual Blurb standards. However, it makes up with the artwork. Target Practice with flaming arrows! Not the most scientific torture but bonus point for originality. Uniform colors on Officer look like modern U.S Army(?), but he has the evil grin. And the girls are so young, and sweet and scared, and almost undressed! After all, what else matters!
 
Heil Hello there Pulpers. Despite the international Bolsheviki conspiracy (masquerading as Hurricane Florence) to silence me, I will not stop posting Pulp!
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Untamed, an ACE publication took a more cowboy Western approach. But the usual deeply disturbed offbeat issues are here.
"A Doctor's Shocking Expose: Substitutes for Sex." First and best question is: Why do we need a Substitute? I mean, I certainly don't get it enough with those proverbial 'Teenagers gone wild', but what little I do get is pretty good. At least I cum, what else is needed. (Aside) "Wait, what did you say dear? I can't understand you when you're laughing so hard. I'm posting now we can talk later - the couch? again? No!
Sorry for the interruption, the little woman was a little confused. Enough on substututes for sex.

'Lively Photos! How to Make a Girl Say Yes" Finally! An article with information you can use!

"Terror at the Burlesque - The Naked and the Deadly" I love mystery stories. Having naked burlesque can only make it better.

"Lusty Island of Lost Women" Even thought he Grammar implies the island itself is Lusty (sound a bit like science fiction) I believe they mean an island where a bunch of young, beautiful, sexy, scantily-clad women who are lost, are desperate for you, Clyde Bupstein , to come to rescue them (only after attending to any deprivation they've suffered).

Art and Blurb "The Cowboy and the Dance Hall Floozie" A warm-hearted cowboy (so warm he seems to have lost his shirt) is trying to save a poor fallen woman from her life of sin. With bottle of booze and swinging his gun belt (boy that would hurt if he hit you with it!) he is politely asking her to join the church choir. The girl (who just happens to be spectacularly endowed), however, seems stuck in her immoral ways and horrified at his rescue attempt. Will virtue triumph? Or will he need to use that belt to beat the devil out of her (so tragically that is often the only option for us moral men),. Inquiring minds want to know
 
Good Morning, my loyal Pulpers! Oh no, I don't require the salute first thing in the morning! Only when you visit the Vaterland Pulp thread between noon and midnight EDT is the salute required. The Soviet Artillery Hurricane is still all long way off and I have good protection in my super secret location. So, On with the Pulps!
 
7135300015_79576b6f56_o.jpgWorld of Men, April, unknown year; Collectors super-sized Image
"Self Test: what Kind if Sex Image do you Present?" This could be a tough one if the editors were honest (which of course we Pulpers know they never were - look at these covers?) Are they going to mention the less than ideal impression on a woman of that 20 pounds carried around in a beer-belly? The turnoff of a sharply receding and thinning hairline humiliated with an even thinner comb-over? The sartorial faux pas, of calf length black socks held up by garters when wearing Bermuda shorts? It's hopeless. If only those shallow women half our age would stop judging us by our appearance!
"Expose: How do Divorcees Satisfy their Desires?" I'm up on this, being in the middle of a divorce myself. First by taking all your money - a core part of those bitches' ladies sexual desire!!! Second by having it a lot more often and better than with you, Mr. fall asleep, snoring loudly on the couch watching the game in your dirty cut-off t-shirt with half a can of beer held in your crotch. (sight that should bring most girls to their knees with sexual desire, but. sadly. doesn't seem to!)
"Trapped by the Man-starved Amazons of Diamond Cove" not very interesting except to note that there's no good reason for a man to starve and woman, and....[what? really! OH!] However if the blurb meant that the amazon's were starved for the, ahem, sexual attention of men, Lets all get trapped!
"Teens without Shame: America's Latest Tragedy" A vital update on those shameless and uninhibited Teens (girls); and where the heck do I find them??
Now I will confess that I am not a fan of hosing a girl with cold water. I know it is probably unpleasant (although that brings up the whole discussion of whether the slags have feelings - for another day!) but it just doesn't push any of my sexual, sadistic buttons. I do like the blurb "I Blasted the Nazis' Fiendish Female Torture Stalag" - what red-blooded American boy wouldn't want to do that?
The the Art, the art... OMG, if the hose doesn't turn me on, that girl does in spades! Beautifully realized blond, skimpy black undies, near perfect body, bound and presented for our pleasure, with a cute little Swastika brand. (always wish they'd try branding on belly [love bellies] or maybe deep in the cleavage) She is incredibly hot!
 
More to come soon Pulpers! Now I have to queue up in the mess line in the storm shelter allow my valet to serve the Eggs Benedict with smoked Norwegian Salmon and a Mimosa! The pressures of being the Führer leader.

Serve them up yourself! :confused:

What do you think I am... your personal slave? :rolleyes:
 
I have enjoyed my tasteless slop -can you say "shit on a shingle"? gourmet breakfast (unfortunately not served properly - I'll have to arrange a good beating to improve the staff morale) . Now your hard-working Führer leader is ready to satisfy your dark and disturbing desires for more Pulp! (My desires are, of course, pure Aryan Strength American wholesomeness!)
 
I have enjoyed my tasteless slop -can you say "shit on a shingle"? gourmet breakfast (unfortunately not served properly - I'll have to arrange a good beating to improve the staff morale) . Now your hard-working Führer leader is ready to satisfy your dark and disturbing desires for more Pulp! (My desires are, of course, pure Aryan Strength American wholesomeness!)
rImg-little-caprice-and-daria-glower-play-dirty-maid-1.jpg Sorry, the staff has work to perform ... any good beating to improve morale will just have to wait for later.
 
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