okay, here's what I've made for you:
Blind butcher, lead me
to the dark depths,
a sacrifice, brought bare
to bear your brutality,
to where stench of slaughter,
blood-bouquet, burns in my lungs,
enwrapping my cold clammy
nakedness.
Wrist-ropes bone-biting,
my flesh flinching, feeling
his stony-cold saurian fingers enfolding –
no freedom, I’m forced to confront
on the grey floor before me
the utter otherness
of death.
Girlhood still oozing
from a no-girl,
pale as parchment,
as I’ll be,
death’s prey dissolving
back to earth, offered,
bones to be fossils
in some far-off aeon.
Shudder to see it,
the pan that will gather
my girl-blood before me -
so simple, its rust-red
earthen clay gore-stained,
each pore penetrated,
in sacrifice steeped.
Now the knife’s sharp steel’s
cruel crenellation
glints in the shadows
startles my scared eyes,
cruel kris already
all red with girls’ blood,
yet sear-sharp the sheer edge
forged to slice soft skin.
Kneel now, on bare knees,
rough-ridged red-stained stone,
chafing me, shuffle,
so thighs splayed, displaying
my female flower.
Hair gripped, my slaughterman
forces my head back,
sets my neck knife-ready -
wide-eyed, I glance up,
my stone-eyed mute murderer,
his scaly skin crimson,
my hair’s smeared,
my sweat streams,
his hand smells of death –
Blind senses exploring,
he learns every inch of me,
pulse pounding, life gushing,
yet I’m not scared,
no terror, no pleading,
just wondering, waiting ...
Now my jaw’s jerked
by the jag of the blade-edge
it touches my taut throat,
my heart drums,
the steel stings -
A shrill shriek,
the scalpel-stroke slices,
I shudder, my hot blood
bespatters my bare breasts,
my spine jerks, sharp spasms
as pain sears –
I hear myself
gurgle, chest tightens,
my eyes swim in red haze,
cold agony seizes
my death-dancing girl-form
then darkness...
