I fear, that is a natural law. Happen always. You know, that natural laws are absolut.Who are you kidding? They haven't acquitted me yet. I end up nailed to a cross every time!
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The Crash Of 2013 Finally Goes To Court...
- Thread starter thehangingtree
- Start date
I am going to sleep on that one. Night all
Yes, and think a bit over your confession.
Good night!
Sleep well then work on your 'I am innocent' speech...I am going to sleep on that one. Night all
Really she looks great but 'innocent'???
Is that the case for the prosecution?
It's even shorter than the case for the defence!
Do not read ahead...Is that the case for the prosecution?
It's even shorter than the case for the defence!
Barb reacts strangely to the news she is to be tried for the Crux Forums Crash of 2013. I receive a call that she wants to meet with me near the campus of the UVM and drive up to the blue state in my ’66 Mustang while it is not wrecked by Barb and Siss yet gain. I almost could not find her as it seems much has changed since my Standard Oil Company map was printed but the people were nice and ignored my “Make America Great Again” hat and showed me how to get to the café.
I park in a handicap zone and hang my tag I made in Photoshop and had laminated at the UPS store. If a cop had scanned the barcode it would said instead Tree being handicapped it would said he was a pack of tuna. What can I say…? I don’t have a bar-code reader.
I sit opposite Barb and light up yet another Marlboro and order up another drink.
I ask her “Do you want me to represent you?”
“I would rather have Satin fuck me. Look what they have done to me.”
“It looks like you have been tagged” I say. “Have you been found guilty?”
“It is not just a tag, you fucking idiot” Barb says. “It is a transponder with GPS pinched through my labia!”
“Well I had nothing to do with it. Why did you call me here” I ask.
“Tree, they are intent on blaming me for the Crash of 2013 while I had nothing to do with it” Barb insists.
“’Innocence’ has never been a good defense” I reply.
“Nor you a good lawyer” Barb replies. I have no good reply.
“I am going to throw myself to the mercy of the court and hope I will be sentenced to timed crucifixion. Are you as good as you say you are? Can you keep me alive long enough to survive a timed crucified” Barb asks.
There is nothing like shifting the responsibility to me. Yes, a couple days are no big deal. Barb is young enough and has enough body fat (come on, this is not a critic but women have curves while we hope to have angles) she should easily endure the ordeal but there are still risks involved.
Tree asks “Why would you even consider mercy at a CF court?”
“I am under no delusion I am damned before I am tried. Perhaps they will sentence me to less than the damnation of death. Would you like to comfort me?”
I look around and think ‘why not’?
Tree
I park in a handicap zone and hang my tag I made in Photoshop and had laminated at the UPS store. If a cop had scanned the barcode it would said instead Tree being handicapped it would said he was a pack of tuna. What can I say…? I don’t have a bar-code reader.
I sit opposite Barb and light up yet another Marlboro and order up another drink.
I ask her “Do you want me to represent you?”
“I would rather have Satin fuck me. Look what they have done to me.”
“It looks like you have been tagged” I say. “Have you been found guilty?”
“It is not just a tag, you fucking idiot” Barb says. “It is a transponder with GPS pinched through my labia!”
“Well I had nothing to do with it. Why did you call me here” I ask.
“Tree, they are intent on blaming me for the Crash of 2013 while I had nothing to do with it” Barb insists.
“’Innocence’ has never been a good defense” I reply.
“Nor you a good lawyer” Barb replies. I have no good reply.
“I am going to throw myself to the mercy of the court and hope I will be sentenced to timed crucifixion. Are you as good as you say you are? Can you keep me alive long enough to survive a timed crucified” Barb asks.
There is nothing like shifting the responsibility to me. Yes, a couple days are no big deal. Barb is young enough and has enough body fat (come on, this is not a critic but women have curves while we hope to have angles) she should easily endure the ordeal but there are still risks involved.
Tree asks “Why would you even consider mercy at a CF court?”
“I am under no delusion I am damned before I am tried. Perhaps they will sentence me to less than the damnation of death. Would you like to comfort me?”
I look around and think ‘why not’?
Tree
shine on, you crazy diamond...
Till the daylight comes...
Tree
Thanks for all you views, likes, and comments...
Till the daylight comes...
Tree
Thanks for all you views, likes, and comments...
I love Tree's sense of irreverent self-deprecating humor (big word, Tree ,,,, look it up). But this one is a riot:I park in a handicap zone and hang my tag I made in Photoshop and had laminated at the UPS store. If a cop had scanned the barcode it would said instead Tree being handicapped it would said he was a pack of tuna. What can I say…? I don’t have a bar-code reader.
Book him for a traffic/parking violation, Madi!
Now in addition to maintaining my innocence of all charges, I deeply resent being tagged in this way and doubly resent the cheap paparazzi photo snap by that sneaky Squirrel!
Notice how my tag magically disappears when Tree wants to gain entry 
Last edited:
RacingRodent
Consul
Hmm, it's clearly a case of "Manipulating from the Bottom".Book him for a traffic/parking violation, Madi!
No it is under that little wisp of the cloth...View attachment 534752 I love Tree's sense of irreverent self-deprecating humor (big word, Tree ,,,, look it up). But this one is a riot:
I park in a handicap zone and hang my tag I made in Photoshop and had laminated at the UPS store. If a cop had scanned the barcode it would said instead Tree being handicapped it would said he was a pack of tuna. What can I say…? I don’t have a bar-code reader.
Book him for a traffic/parking violation, Madi!
View attachment 534750 Now in addition to maintaining my innocence of all charges, I deeply resent being tagged in this way and doubly resent the cheap paparazzi photo snap by that sneaky Squirrel!
View attachment 534751 Notice how my tag magically disappears when Tree wants to gain entry
Would you like to comfort me?”
I look around and think ‘why not’?
There's no good reply to that, either, except
windar
Teller of Tales
Book him yourself Moore. You think now that you helped solve a murder you're too good to write an occasional parking ticket? See how generous I am acknowledging your help even if you almost got killed in the process? What a gentleman, aren't I?
Some GIFS in this part...
So Tree leaves Barb without being hired as her lawyer but is hired to crucify her if she is so sentenced. Barb’s next visitor is the beautiful Siss who convinces her she should go to trial as it was though small her only hope of avoiding the cross.
The next day as Barb is getting ready to travel to her trial she thinks about what it will be like to be crucified.
Later that day at the airport she is selected by the TSA to be thoroughly searched…
…and underwent a harsh interrogation.
She is placed in irons wondering what the hell is going when Stan Goldman, the retired New York detective, walks in. Angrily Barb says “What are you doing here, Stan? Did you come to gloat?”
“I wouldn’t do that, Barb” as he replies. “Pardon the phrase but I’m killing two birds with one stone. The IMF considers you a ‘flight risk’ and hired me to escort you to your trial and Spike Sharp is on assignment so I am free-lancing for the Crux Chronicle covering trial and crucifixion.”
“I haven’t been found guilty” Barb points out.
“I’ve seen the case they have on you and I wouldn’t hold too much hope on that thought. Get up; it’s time to leave.”
“But I don’t have any clothes on” Barb protests.
Goldman looks at her blankly and says “So?”
Tree
So Tree leaves Barb without being hired as her lawyer but is hired to crucify her if she is so sentenced. Barb’s next visitor is the beautiful Siss who convinces her she should go to trial as it was though small her only hope of avoiding the cross.
The next day as Barb is getting ready to travel to her trial she thinks about what it will be like to be crucified.
Later that day at the airport she is selected by the TSA to be thoroughly searched…
…and underwent a harsh interrogation.
She is placed in irons wondering what the hell is going when Stan Goldman, the retired New York detective, walks in. Angrily Barb says “What are you doing here, Stan? Did you come to gloat?”
“I wouldn’t do that, Barb” as he replies. “Pardon the phrase but I’m killing two birds with one stone. The IMF considers you a ‘flight risk’ and hired me to escort you to your trial and Spike Sharp is on assignment so I am free-lancing for the Crux Chronicle covering trial and crucifixion.”
“I haven’t been found guilty” Barb points out.
“I’ve seen the case they have on you and I wouldn’t hold too much hope on that thought. Get up; it’s time to leave.”
“But I don’t have any clothes on” Barb protests.
Goldman looks at her blankly and says “So?”
Tree
RacingRodent
Consul
Ah yes the good'ol Touchy Squeezy Agency
Possibly a fairly redundant bit of descriptive writing considering it's Stan
We all adults. Why so a tumult because a few photos? Ah, I see now, because the angle.View attachment 534871 Censored. Don't look at this!
View attachment 534873 This one either!
"I did hear about this and bought the video..."View attachment 534871 Censored. Don't look at this!
View attachment 534873 This one either!
View attachment 534874 Who put that gun in my carry on. Damn you Tree! Damn you TSA! How come a woman isn't assigned to strip search me? Where do I file a complaint! My Congressman will hear about this!!!!
