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The Crux Poem Thread

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That works well Praefectus, switching to first person really brings it to life for me,
I can certainly imagine myself into the scene. And a bit of editing has 'tightened' it,
it screws the tension up even more, and gives enough rhythm to carry the reader along,
while still conveying the jumpy anxiety with frequent jolts.

I agree! ;)
 
You could rewrite it as a sonnet, and call it "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Bad Night."
LOL doesn't even begin to express it!!!!!!:drink::drink:

May the ghost of Dylan flog you from pillar to post!

"He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he was."

Read more: Simon And Garfunkel - A Simple Desultory Philippic Lyrics | MetroLyrics
 
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The Carthaginian princess never thought that she would lose her freedom.... She never thought that she would be captured...

The ropes tightly bound her arms to the wood so coarse,
Her head hung low not knowing what could be worse.

Each wrist helplessly affixed to the instrument cruel,
To think that she could escape this fate she was a fool.

A march so long and so horrific she knew not what to feel,
The terrible cross would surely make her weak mind reel.

The sharp rocks pierced skin underneath her trembling feet,
Only the gods know how she would this trial meet.

Tears run down her cheeks they fall unhindered to the earth,
Of her pain, sorrow, and shame, there was certainly no dearth.

She meets the top of the hill and thus begins the vicious act,
Surely no hope awaits her as she is thrown brutally on her back.

The nails fall first upon the quivering skin of her wrists,
From such pain she would die or faint she knew not which.

Her blood seared from each wrist as the iron found its home,
Into the wood it was driven through vein, flesh, and bone.

Once. Twice. Thrice. The pain accosted such that she lost count,
Pain. Misery. Fear. Agony. Anguish. They all seemed to mount.

How long would she be forced to endure this horrific end,
Surely no matter how fiercely she cried in pain they would not bend.

The more she squirmed she knew her pain was what they sought,
But her flesh would not her mind forget the agony that they wrought.

She screamed and cried though no gods heard her plea,
She must now know oh dear cross there is no flight from thee.
 

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The destruction of Carthage was a tragedy. Those Roman bastards!
carthagodelendaest.jpg

The back story to this pic was she was a priestess, but she suits the story just as well.
Carthage%20Burns.jpg

Phlebas (Primus Poenus)
 
The destruction of Carthage was a tragedy. Those Roman bastards!
View attachment 640661

The back story to this pic was she was a priestess, but she suits the story just as well.
View attachment 640660

Phlebas (Primus Poenus)
I like the idea of the crucified woman being a priestess... intriguing that way as she worships her god Baal but does not save her from her fate. Maybe in a later thread
 
The destruction of Carthage was a tragedy. Those Roman bastards!
View attachment 640661

The back story to this pic was she was a priestess, but she suits the story just as well.
View attachment 640660

Phlebas (Primus Poenus)
It all started here:
Dïxerat; atque illam media inter tälia ferrö
conläpsam aspiciunt comitës, ënsemque cruöre
spümantem, sparsäsque manüs. It clämor ad alta
ätria; concussam bacchätur Fama per urbem.
The death of Dido, Virgil's Aeneid, Book IV 663-666
 
It all started here:
Dïxerat; atque illam media inter tälia ferrö
conläpsam aspiciunt comitës, ënsemque cruöre
spümantem, sparsäsque manüs. It clämor ad alta
ätria; concussam bacchätur Fama per urbem.
The death of Dido, Virgil's Aeneid, Book IV 663-666
Fama, goddess of fake news!
 
Fama, goddess of fake news!
Fame or Rumor. Bacchatur, running wild? Depicted with wings and a trumpet as she spread news (or fake). I think Virgil is the one who said, she had her feet on the ground and her head in the clouds; she made the small seem great and the great seem greater! (Does sound like a character in Casino or his friend in the White House) .
 
I think Virgil is the one who said, she had her feet on the ground and her head in the clouds; she made the small seem great and the great seem greater!
Aeneid IV 174 - 7
Fāma, malum quā nōn aliud vēlōcius ūllum:
mōbilitāte viget vīrēsque adquīrit eundō,
parva metū prīmō, mox sēsē attollit in aurās
ingrediturque solō et caput inter nūbila condit.

Rumour, of all evils swiftest,
she thrives with moving, gains strength as she goes,
small, timid at first, soon she mounts up to the heavens
walks on the ground, her head among the clouds.
 
Aeneid IV 174 - 7
Fāma, malum quā nōn aliud vēlōcius ūllum:
mōbilitāte viget vīrēsque adquīrit eundō,
parva metū prīmō, mox sēsē attollit in aurās
ingrediturque solō et caput inter nūbila condit.

Rumour, of all evils swiftest,
she thrives with moving, gains strength as she goes,
small, timid at first, soon she mounts up to the heavens
walks on the ground, her head among the clouds.
Fama volat
mirabile dictu

Rumor Flies
wonderful to tell
 
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MISTRESS..... hear me out.

My Domme,I must confess...
To clear my guilty conscience,
I've been a bad Slave,truly,
Aye,I have masturbated,
Over another young woman
A simple little Slave-slut,
A moment of madness


Deserve to be punished as such,
I do not expect any mercy....
For I disappointed you gravely,
A stupid moment of weakness
Wasted my worthless seed
Wank-stained my Loincloth,
Undeniably a sign of my guilt...


My pathetic cock betrayed me
And yourself too,it hurts to say
Your chastisement awaits me
I kneel,truly ashamed and afraid
In chains I await your justice
Your pleasure will not be mine
Administer as you see fit...


Treat this useless man accordingly
I'm naked to be abused
Nothing more than a piece of dirt
I debase myself at your feet
Nervous
anticipation I quiver
Your disloyal slave awaits...
The bitter taste of the WHIP...!!


finis....
 
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MISTRESS..... hear me out.

My Domme,I must confess...
To clear my guilty conscience,
I've been a bad Slave,truly,
Aye,I have masturbated,
Over another young woman
A simple little Slave-slut,
A moment of madness


Deserve to be punished as such,
I do not expect any mercy....
For I disappointed you gravely,
A stupid moment of weakness
Wasted my worthless seed
Wank-stained my Loincloth,
Undeniably a sign of my guilt...


My pathetic cock betrayed me
And yourself too,it hurts to say
Your chastisement awaits me
I kneel,truly ashamed and afraid
In chains I await your justice
Your pleasure will not be mine
Administer as you see fit...


Treat this useless man accordingly
I'm naked to be abused
Nothing more than a piece of dirt
I debase myself at your feet
Nervous
anticipation I quiver
Your disloyal slave awaits...
The bitter taste of the WHIP...!!


finis....
Hooray FOUND IT !! :) :)
 
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