Repertor
Artifex Imaginum
Crucifixion existed already as a common practice on T'mor.
It has to be studied why some humans prefer to be crucified by Bellerophonican lizards.
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The Elixir Of T'mor
- Thread starter Wragg
- Start date
It has to be studied why some humans prefer to be crucified by Bellerophonican lizards.
LOL you and Rodney.
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Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Barb is always absolutely right.
(It's in the rules)
For once, Barb read the fine print?Yep, better believe it!!!!!!
Shall we please on this occasion stick to intergalactic creationism, and crucify all those heretics who continue spreading evolutionary theories? Otherwise we never get out of this three breasts enigma.
19. The Red-headed Shuttle Pilot.
“How do we get two women on crosses down to the surface, Your Cunningness?” The Captain of the Guard was confused. “Can we use a Madiosi beam?”
“Don’t be stupid! If we use the Madiosi beam we’ll leave the crosses behind! You can't transport a damn great cross in a transporter beam! Besides, you know perfectly well that we don’t allow ordinary humans to use transporter beams. Far too expensive. No indeed. I’ve ordered a shuttle. Take sixteen of your best troops to guard them, and I’ll see you below!”
“Very good, ma’am!”
Actually it wasn’t ‘very good’ at all. Using a shuttle to get down was tedious and uncomfortable, but he had no choice in the matter. None of his sixteen hand picked troops were all that thrilled, either.
The shuttle pilot arrived, and the Captain perked up a bit. ‘He’ was a ‘She’, and a very pretty ‘She’ too, with flaming shoulder length red hair. He loved humans with red hair. Especially girl humans. Very especially girl humans who looked as good as this one. Maybe he would enjoy the trip down after all. He resolved to sit up the front with the pilot.
And she was very efficient, too, in minutes she had the dockworkers dancing to her tune, she had the crosses down, giving Messa and Barb relief from the weight hanging on their nails, although they knew only too well that such relief was only temporary. With Shar Divatt’s permission she gave them water, some of which even went down their throats. Then they were carried through to the shuttle hold and lashed down as cargo. Off handedly, she tossed a couple of blankets over the naked women. She arranged for Jack, Wind Arr, and Eul to sit in the middle and for the guards to sit around the outside so that there could be no possibility of any ‘funny business’, as she put it, on the way down.
She bowed respectfully to the Captain, told him how clever he was, and asked him if it was all right to proceed with the trip. He positively glowed with pleasure!
“Yes, of course, Miss…er?”
“Erin, sir. My name is Erin.”
“Well Erin, you go right ahead. I was wondering if you might be free this evening?”
She smiled radiantly at him. “To go out with you sir? Oh! Really? A Real Captain? What an honour! Yes, of course I am! I can’t wait!”
He congratulated himself on his magnetic personality. Quite evidently she found him irresistible. Tonight he'd put on his best suit, and he might even run to taking a shower beforehand. He clipped himself into his seat and watched as she set up the ship. Her fingers flew over the mass of controls, which completely baffled him. She got permission from control and the shuttle undocked from the space station.
He shivered. “Is it me or is it cold in here?”
“Sir, we’ll shortly be making re-entry. Trust me, it’ll get very warm indeed then!”
“Oh, I see. Glad you know what you are doing!” He sat back and looked forward to re-entry with Erin.
The engines cut in as she accelerated away from the station, and with them the aircon came on full blast. The troops started complaining. “Oi! Bitch! You’re freezing my balls off!”
“Shut up, imbecile!” rapped the captain. “She knows what she’s doing! We’re about to hit the atmosphere!”
“So….why.. is ……….she……… accelerating…… ?”
The temperature plummeted. The Captain just had time to wonder about the acceleration thing before he lost consciousness.
Her human cargo, too, was protesting. “E-e-excuse m-m-me!” stammered Wind Arr, “C-c-could w-w-we have a b-b-bit more w-w-warmth?”
“I-i-it’s alr-r-right for y-y-you! Y-y-your n-not n-n-naked!” complained Barb. Shivering hurt like hell!
Erin looked around. “Get working then! Get these goons into the airlock, then we can have some heat on!”
“W-what?” Jack Hangingtree hadn’t cottoned on at all.
“They are lizards, idiot! They don’t do cold! Hurry up! We’ll have the whole Bellerophon Battle Fleet on our tail in a minute!”
They needed no second bidding. Even Eul joined in, as best she could, and soon enough they’d dragged all the guards into the air lock. They slammed the inner door, hit the button, and Erin instantly set the aircon back to warm.
There was a faint ‘plop’ as she opened the outer door, and seventeen reptiles became space debris. Very dead space debris.
“That’ll teach him to chat me up” muttered Erin. “Bastard. Any of you had any experience with photon guns?”
“If I had, I don’t think I could be of much help!” explained Messa.
“It’s just that there are six very angry looking warships behind us, and one in front, guarding the portal….” she threw the ship to one side as a photon bolt blazed past “and they are nicely in range!”
This time Wind Arr, Jack, and Eul jumped straight to it . Eul almost forgot her injuries, and she did forget her blanket as she settled, completely nude, into the forward turret, while the lads occupied two rear turrets, and opened fire.
Barb and Messa felt every jolt, as Erin threw the ship around, and the racket from the photon guns was incredible. They could see photon bolts blazing all around them and some looked dreadfully close.
“Beats dying on Bellerophon, anyway!” grunted Messa. Barb just shut her eyes and prayed to every god she’d ever heard of, and a few more that she made up on the spur of the moment..
“Aim for the cockpits!” cried Erin. “That’s the weak spot in the shield!”
“Is it the weak spot in our shield, too?” enquired Eul.
“Er, yes!”
“This is one helluva shuttle!” observed Tree, while keeping up a steady stream of fire.
“Glad you like it. I added extra features!”
Suddenly, the whole ship lit up – there was a violent explosion behind them.
“Fuck me! I got one!” Tree was euphoric.
“Photon guns were an extra feature.” explained Erin, flipping the ship to one side as a bolt flew past.
“You’re a helluva pilot too!”
“That’s pure adrenaline, Jack!”
Seconds later, it happened again – the shock wave jolted through Barb's nail wounds as another Bellerophon ship detonated.
“One-all!” bellowed Wind Arr. Suddenly the other ships seemed less keen, and began to drop back.
“Nice shooting, lads!" Erin was cock-a-hoop.
"The others are giving up! Cowards!" bellowed Tree, blazing away at the ships. "Can't take it when you come up against a man of steel!"
"Cease fire, Jack! They're out of range. But they’re only dropping back to leave the field clear for their pals up ahead! Eul, are you ready? We’re getting close to the Portal! That ship guarding it is going to be a bit of a problem!”
“You bet….uh-oh! INCOMING!”
The Bellerophon gunners knew exactly where to aim, the shield took an immense hit just metres away from the cockpit.
“Holy Mary, Joseph, and Jesus….” muttered Erin. Barb hadn't heard of them, and rapidly added them to her list. A photon bolt glanced off the shield, and poor Barb and Messa got thrown around yet again.
“Eul! Eul? EUL!" Erin was getting desperate. "Fire! Quickly! We can’t take much more of this!”
But Eul did not fire. The turret whirred slightly as she adjusted her aim.
Another mighty explosion as the shield was hit again. The next must surely be the last.
"EUL! PLEASE!!!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER?" Erin was beginning to panic. Wind Arr was starting to come forward, to see if Eul needed help, when two photon bolts flew from Eul’s turret. Just two, one from each gun. Messa could see them from her cross, she watched as they flew through space, stared as they simultaneously struck the battlecruiser right on the bridge, and she shrieked with joy as she watched fire spread throughout the vessel, and then blinked as it dramatically blew up, burning wreckage spinning into outer space.
"You didn't tell me about the safety lock!" grinned Eul.
Three minutes later, unharmed, they plunged into the portal.
“How do we get two women on crosses down to the surface, Your Cunningness?” The Captain of the Guard was confused. “Can we use a Madiosi beam?”
“Don’t be stupid! If we use the Madiosi beam we’ll leave the crosses behind! You can't transport a damn great cross in a transporter beam! Besides, you know perfectly well that we don’t allow ordinary humans to use transporter beams. Far too expensive. No indeed. I’ve ordered a shuttle. Take sixteen of your best troops to guard them, and I’ll see you below!”
“Very good, ma’am!”
Actually it wasn’t ‘very good’ at all. Using a shuttle to get down was tedious and uncomfortable, but he had no choice in the matter. None of his sixteen hand picked troops were all that thrilled, either.
The shuttle pilot arrived, and the Captain perked up a bit. ‘He’ was a ‘She’, and a very pretty ‘She’ too, with flaming shoulder length red hair. He loved humans with red hair. Especially girl humans. Very especially girl humans who looked as good as this one. Maybe he would enjoy the trip down after all. He resolved to sit up the front with the pilot.
And she was very efficient, too, in minutes she had the dockworkers dancing to her tune, she had the crosses down, giving Messa and Barb relief from the weight hanging on their nails, although they knew only too well that such relief was only temporary. With Shar Divatt’s permission she gave them water, some of which even went down their throats. Then they were carried through to the shuttle hold and lashed down as cargo. Off handedly, she tossed a couple of blankets over the naked women. She arranged for Jack, Wind Arr, and Eul to sit in the middle and for the guards to sit around the outside so that there could be no possibility of any ‘funny business’, as she put it, on the way down.
She bowed respectfully to the Captain, told him how clever he was, and asked him if it was all right to proceed with the trip. He positively glowed with pleasure!
“Yes, of course, Miss…er?”
“Erin, sir. My name is Erin.”
“Well Erin, you go right ahead. I was wondering if you might be free this evening?”
She smiled radiantly at him. “To go out with you sir? Oh! Really? A Real Captain? What an honour! Yes, of course I am! I can’t wait!”
He congratulated himself on his magnetic personality. Quite evidently she found him irresistible. Tonight he'd put on his best suit, and he might even run to taking a shower beforehand. He clipped himself into his seat and watched as she set up the ship. Her fingers flew over the mass of controls, which completely baffled him. She got permission from control and the shuttle undocked from the space station.
He shivered. “Is it me or is it cold in here?”
“Sir, we’ll shortly be making re-entry. Trust me, it’ll get very warm indeed then!”
“Oh, I see. Glad you know what you are doing!” He sat back and looked forward to re-entry with Erin.
The engines cut in as she accelerated away from the station, and with them the aircon came on full blast. The troops started complaining. “Oi! Bitch! You’re freezing my balls off!”
“Shut up, imbecile!” rapped the captain. “She knows what she’s doing! We’re about to hit the atmosphere!”
“So….why.. is ……….she……… accelerating…… ?”
The temperature plummeted. The Captain just had time to wonder about the acceleration thing before he lost consciousness.
Her human cargo, too, was protesting. “E-e-excuse m-m-me!” stammered Wind Arr, “C-c-could w-w-we have a b-b-bit more w-w-warmth?”
“I-i-it’s alr-r-right for y-y-you! Y-y-your n-not n-n-naked!” complained Barb. Shivering hurt like hell!
Erin looked around. “Get working then! Get these goons into the airlock, then we can have some heat on!”
“W-what?” Jack Hangingtree hadn’t cottoned on at all.
“They are lizards, idiot! They don’t do cold! Hurry up! We’ll have the whole Bellerophon Battle Fleet on our tail in a minute!”
They needed no second bidding. Even Eul joined in, as best she could, and soon enough they’d dragged all the guards into the air lock. They slammed the inner door, hit the button, and Erin instantly set the aircon back to warm.
There was a faint ‘plop’ as she opened the outer door, and seventeen reptiles became space debris. Very dead space debris.
“That’ll teach him to chat me up” muttered Erin. “Bastard. Any of you had any experience with photon guns?”
“If I had, I don’t think I could be of much help!” explained Messa.
“It’s just that there are six very angry looking warships behind us, and one in front, guarding the portal….” she threw the ship to one side as a photon bolt blazed past “and they are nicely in range!”
This time Wind Arr, Jack, and Eul jumped straight to it . Eul almost forgot her injuries, and she did forget her blanket as she settled, completely nude, into the forward turret, while the lads occupied two rear turrets, and opened fire.
Barb and Messa felt every jolt, as Erin threw the ship around, and the racket from the photon guns was incredible. They could see photon bolts blazing all around them and some looked dreadfully close.
“Beats dying on Bellerophon, anyway!” grunted Messa. Barb just shut her eyes and prayed to every god she’d ever heard of, and a few more that she made up on the spur of the moment..
“Aim for the cockpits!” cried Erin. “That’s the weak spot in the shield!”
“Is it the weak spot in our shield, too?” enquired Eul.
“Er, yes!”
“This is one helluva shuttle!” observed Tree, while keeping up a steady stream of fire.
“Glad you like it. I added extra features!”
Suddenly, the whole ship lit up – there was a violent explosion behind them.
“Fuck me! I got one!” Tree was euphoric.
“Photon guns were an extra feature.” explained Erin, flipping the ship to one side as a bolt flew past.
“You’re a helluva pilot too!”
“That’s pure adrenaline, Jack!”
Seconds later, it happened again – the shock wave jolted through Barb's nail wounds as another Bellerophon ship detonated.
“One-all!” bellowed Wind Arr. Suddenly the other ships seemed less keen, and began to drop back.
“Nice shooting, lads!" Erin was cock-a-hoop.
"The others are giving up! Cowards!" bellowed Tree, blazing away at the ships. "Can't take it when you come up against a man of steel!"
"Cease fire, Jack! They're out of range. But they’re only dropping back to leave the field clear for their pals up ahead! Eul, are you ready? We’re getting close to the Portal! That ship guarding it is going to be a bit of a problem!”
“You bet….uh-oh! INCOMING!”
The Bellerophon gunners knew exactly where to aim, the shield took an immense hit just metres away from the cockpit.
“Holy Mary, Joseph, and Jesus….” muttered Erin. Barb hadn't heard of them, and rapidly added them to her list. A photon bolt glanced off the shield, and poor Barb and Messa got thrown around yet again.
“Eul! Eul? EUL!" Erin was getting desperate. "Fire! Quickly! We can’t take much more of this!”
But Eul did not fire. The turret whirred slightly as she adjusted her aim.
Another mighty explosion as the shield was hit again. The next must surely be the last.
"EUL! PLEASE!!!!! WHAT'S THE MATTER?" Erin was beginning to panic. Wind Arr was starting to come forward, to see if Eul needed help, when two photon bolts flew from Eul’s turret. Just two, one from each gun. Messa could see them from her cross, she watched as they flew through space, stared as they simultaneously struck the battlecruiser right on the bridge, and she shrieked with joy as she watched fire spread throughout the vessel, and then blinked as it dramatically blew up, burning wreckage spinning into outer space.
"You didn't tell me about the safety lock!" grinned Eul.
Three minutes later, unharmed, they plunged into the portal.
Repertor
Artifex Imaginum
Repertor does not reject creationism. As a matter of fact, when he was studying Sol 3 and its inhabitants, he found out that the majority of mankind were creationists and that they invented crucifixion to prevent the spreading of heretic theories.Shall we please on this occasion stick to intergalactic creationism, and crucify all those heretics who continue spreading evolutionary theories? Otherwise we never get out of this three breasts enigma.
Repertor is convinced that mankind has been created that way and he described the event of creation in the first chapter of his opus magnus "The Origin of Species"
We must realise that the creation of mankind, along with a complete fauna and flora was heavy labour. God needed no less than seven days to complete his creation, after which he was exhausted and fell asleep.
When he woke up he saw that his creation was far from perfect. Man was unhappy because he had no woman. So God invented a female human, thus causing problems with a snake and an apple. He is still worrying whether things would have turned out ouherwise if he had given her three breasts.
This was only the first step of the creation. Numerous other planets in the universe still had to be populated and God the Father had already ended up in the madhouse with a depression.
The Holy Spirit, who had inherited the job, was smarter than the Father. He decided to automate the creation process and invented evolution.
Since then he is sitting down, watching and being amused by what he sees.
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I do deliver my T'mor'elixir ...
Let's get you back to T'mor... and get that elixir flowing!
Repertor
Artifex Imaginum
Almost forgotten.
She's like a spy must be.
Discrete and invisible but acting at the right moment.
Repertor
Artifex Imaginum
Perhaps producing the elixir is even more powerful than drinking it.Wow, I never knew I could do that!
messaline
Crucified Amazon
Mmmmmmmm ! If you could know, repertor !!!
Eul and Erin, a strong team.Wow, I never knew I could do that!
They achieved what Maxwell Rhodes failed to do!
Womens power. Always.They achieved what Maxwell Rhodes failed to do!
windar
Teller of Tales
Hey, I just realized something.
In space there is no gravity, so how can you crucify them up there? I mean, yeah you could nail them and it would no doubt hurt, but they wouldn't suffer the real pain of hanging nor the lethal breathing effects would they? And what is the gravity on this planet?
Yes, that made the time on cross longer. And the enjoying for the onlooker also.Hey, I just realized something.
We know, you love it faster.
I think Repertor understands artificial gravity on spacecraft. He understands most things, I'm just the chronicler.Hey, I just realized something.
But it's a right bugger when gravity comes and goes as you fly through portals!
