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The Father

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phlebas said:
Jolly, as a father of a daughter this one has hit me, hard.
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jedakk said:
I have a grown daughter too, and as well-written as this is, it was really, really hard to read
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Well, Jolly, thanks for getting the girl's mother out of the way early,
Jollyrei said:
The 14 year old girl... standing bravely, trying not to weep as her mother was laid to rest
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so she didn't have to witness this. It's near unthinkable but then touching on the unthinkable is what a story is sometimes good for.
 
jedakk said:
Well, another minor detail that caught my eye was when the father wrapped Ninian's body in a sheet at the end. There didn't seem to be any source for that
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Engineers! It's just, the situation is such a tragedy that out of mercy a gossamer sheet will form from out of the weeping winds of a mourning world and fold itself around her!
jedakk said:
When I picture him holding her body after the crucifixion, I imagine a gender-reversed version of Michelangelo's sculpture, "Pieta."
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That's an almost inevitable association, I'm sure such versions exist somewhere on the forum...
 
malins said:
It's just, the situation is such a tragedy that out of mercy a gossamer sheet will form from out of the weeping winds of a mourning world and fold itself around her!
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what a lovely phrase, Malins, I'll cherish that! :)
 
Wow, Jollyrei!

You really nailed this one(pun intended? I'm not sure). As I was reading I could feel my heart breaking for both Ninian and her father. Meanwhile, since the trouble started with Ninian's cousin Aedan I find myself left wondering if she too was forced to experience the horrers of the cross.
 
pontiopilato said:
Wow, Jollyrei!

You really nailed this one(pun intended? I'm not sure). As I was reading I could feel my heart breaking for both Ninian and her father. Meanwhile, since the trouble started with Ninian's cousin Aedan I find myself left wondering if she too was forced to experience the horrers of the cross.
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Cheers, pontio. :) Been a while since I wrote a Roman crux story.
 
Jollyrei said:
Been a while since I wrote a Roman crux story.
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This is another late discovery on my part, but a real gem of crux literature.
Setting out to read in anticipation of the unique Jollyrei wit, which puts your entertaining crux stories in a league of their own, I found none.

And yet I was not disappointed, since I discovered that you are as highly skilled in tragedy as comedy.
Indeed, I can appreciate how painfully its crafting reflected its theme.

You have presented a heartbreaking tragedy, wrought with emotion so skilfully, I rate it among the very best crux tales I have read.
I am glad to find it has resurfaced to such deservedly high acclaim.
 
bobinder said:
This is another late discovery on my part, but a real gem of crux literature.
Setting out to read in anticipation of the unique Jollyrei wit, which puts your entertaining crux stories in a league of their own, I found none.

And yet I was not disappointed, since I discovered that you are as highly skilled in tragedy as comedy.
Indeed, I can appreciate how painfully its crafting reflected its theme.

You have presented a heartbreaking tragedy, wrought with emotion so skilfully, I rate it among the very best crux tales I have read.
I am glad to find it has resurfaced to such deservedly high acclaim.
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I am honoured and humbled by the renewed interest in this story. I find it perhaps easier to write in a humorous vein, and not less gratifying than writing tragedy, which as you correctly assess, is sometimes painful to write. As I have mentioned elsewhere, I felt strongly compelled personally to write this story, at the time I wrote it, but I found it emotionally difficult at the same time. I tend to fall in love with my characters, especially the female "victims", which I think is necessary to get the depth required for real impact, but it also means I sympathise with them throughout the story, even while I find there is a strong erotic and visceral element to this type of storytelling. Many thanks for your interest and your comments.
 
I read the first part of this story, then I had to stop. Only after a while I was able to read the second part. It is so emotionally involving! And so realistic in depicting this particular aspect: the girl's and fathar's characters, their relationship, how tearing and crushing could be what's happening not for the victim this time but for her closest relative. Style is also very effective, and words are carefully chosen. I wish I could write like that. Really one of the best stories I have ever read on this forum, my deepest congratulations to the author. :clap::clap::clap:
 
GabriellaSivilla said:
I read the first part of this story, then I had to stop. Only after a while I was able to read the second part. It is so emotionally involving! And so realistic in depicting this particular aspect: the girl's and fathar's characters, their relationship, how tearing and crushing could be what's happening not for the victim this time but for her closest relative. Style is also very effective, and words are carefully chosen. I wish I could write like that. Really one of the best stories I have ever read on this forum, my deepest congratulations to the author. :clap::clap::clap:
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And my deepest thanks for your comments. :) Thank you so much.
 
Jollyrei said:
I am honoured and humbled by the renewed interest in this story. I find it perhaps easier to write in a humorous vein, and not less gratifying than writing tragedy, which as you correctly assess, is sometimes painful to write. As I have mentioned elsewhere, I felt strongly compelled personally to write this story, at the time I wrote it, but I found it emotionally difficult at the same time. I tend to fall in love with my characters, especially the female "victims", which I think is necessary to get the depth required for real impact, but it also means I sympathise with them throughout the story, even while I find there is a strong erotic and visceral element to this type of storytelling. Many thanks for your interest and your comments.
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Just finished . . . I'm crying. A real punch in the gut . . . wonderful story.
 
Jollyrei said:
The Father, cont.


FIN.
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Great.

Superbly written. All my compliments.

But every now and then I have the feeling, that some of these victims really should be rescued.
Either by mercy of a contemplating roman superior.....
Or by a local uprising ending that all these tribuns and centurions are hanging themselves naked at a cross
(and I wont't think what the local women would do to their genitals with all the knifes around at their homes...)
 
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