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The Game Confessions

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I share you an electro sex game I prepared for myself during almost 1 year. I played it some months ago, but not really enjoyed it.
This long text is my confession about my shameful past.

The game is totaly insane and dangerous: DON'T TRY IT.
If you want to play with electrical pain just use e-stim hardware made for this case and use it wisely.


Some history:
--------------

I've always been obsessed about belly buttons and nipples, playing with mine in some self-bondage. At 17, I found the base game on an internet forum that suggested to apply an electrical current between the belly button and the nipples. As I read what was proposed, my heart began to beat faster and faster as the game was appealing me. And against all comments talking about the dangerousity of it, I tried.

I soon found myself electrifying my navel and my nipples with an 12V AC electric current from a domestic charger and had a powerful orgasm with the special pain and fear it made me feel. It was a great, pleasurable experience, truly intense as I knew it could be very harmful for my body (and even becomes fatal).

Even though I'm a straight guy interested in girls, I got also a fetish about twink torsos, looking at shirtless young men pictures found on the internet. I was full of shame about my two secrets. The shame grew and made me having difficulties to get or keep a girlfriend. I NEVER wanted to harm anybody (except me). I NEVER considered myself gay, as my fetish was only about pictures of growing strong torsos that can remind me mine.

I was trapped by the game and the pleasures it gave me. I played it approx. twice a month, sometimes more, little by little exploring, varying everything that can be: power, more or less salted water, belt around the chest, tried DC current (inverting it was OMG). I was getting some habits practicing the game, scenarios of judgment and sentence about my shameful secrets, playing with electric timers (viewing or not the countdown), sometimes restrained. It always remained a single, simple constant: my belly navel and my nipples were the only inputs to my body.

I was the subject of my dangerous experimentations. Thinking about my fragile navel and nipples been electrified and burned in pain made me so hot at any time, anywhere. The best moments were finding the idea, then preparing the game, and then waiting for the pain to come, helpless. I was like hypnotized, away, ready to endure my punishment.

During the game, I loved to look at twink torsos, appreciating the great variety of all those wonderful belly buttons and nipples, enjoying that my torso was one of them. When timers were involved, being busy to look at these perfect body details, hardly worshiping them as I knew that my electrical sentence will soon come was so pleasurable to me.

I knew the huge risks of domestic electricity, even reduced by a charger, but this just added intensity to the experiences. Ignoring the huge risks, daring myself, I sometimes used a timer without even testing the settings at first. I was feeling myself as a subject body tested against pain. That was my sentence for being obsessed, trapped by the game and by such body parts on such beautiful torsos.

When hardly electrified, my belly knot bulged a little, my nipples became hard and warm, and often, they peeled as they were burned. I enjoyed so badly playing the game, but that was toxic for my mind and really dangerous for my health: one time, my right nipple was bleeding for 3 days (from the little tip hole), an other time it was my navel that oozed for some days. I even electrified myself with a timer set to 3AM for a long shock of 1 minute (couldn't set less) while restrained, spreadeagled, asleep in my bed (I was 20). Some of my experiments severely injured me. However, I always returned to the game as it gave me huge pleasure and very intense orgasms, sometimes making 1 or 2 months breaks.

At 23 I broke up with a girlfriend I was truly in love with, big crush of mine, because I had lot of shame about my habits, thus inducing erectile disfunction. As I wanted only to live a normal life, I decided then to take care of myself. Seeking help from a psy was a good starting point. I told him what I did to myself ("injuring myself" and the torso fetish, no more) and drawbacks I got from it. That was a liberation. I started to take care of my body and my mind.

Soon, I started a nofap reset which saved me from this insane game. I was doing my reset with some liberty, as I wanted to get this nofap habit for life. I allowed myself to jerk off on softcore normal girls pics once a week. But after some time, I felt the need to prepare one last great electro game for me, to end definitely with this shit. I prepared it during 1 year.

After playing it at 24, I was sort of healed. My shameful fetish was gone. Some times after, I got my girlfriend that I love so much. Having sex with a girl you love, share careful, mystic moments with her (and lick her navel) is so great, complete, joyful, human, contrary to my mindfucked past. So I thank God for being alive AND for getting me out of this, now respecting myself.

I searched during a long time the right place to post my confessions. Writing and sharing these is the very last step of my recovery.

The Preparation:
--------------

I repeat myself: DON'T TRY IT.
If you want to play with electrical pain just use e-stim hardware made for this case and use it wisely.

The game idea is making electricity pass through the torso, entering it by the navel and by the nipples. So, one charger wire is doubled, each ends having bare metal for 1 centimeter or less. They go on two wet cotton pads, cut at dimension, placed over the nipples. The second wire goes in the belly button, its 1 or 2 millimeters bare tip directly in contact with the knot. This metallic tip can be tailored to suit any taste. Many adhesive tapes made each electrodes stay in place. A belt can also be used around the chest to press on the nipples electrodes, making a better contact, especially when contracting the chest. Often, and always when testing new hardware, I prepared only the chest, as slowly inserting the navel electrode allowed me to gradually assess the current power.

For my last experimentation, I found an electric charger with an hard output of 24V AC 1A. While testing it on me, I simply couldn't insert the electrode in my belly button. Contrary to hardware I had used in the past, it gave me unbearable pain, even though the navel wire tip was only touching the entrance of my belly button. As I knew that when the tip is right in contact with the navel knot, the surge would be multiplied, I first thought that this one was too powerful for me. But with time I found great the idea to get very short but very harsh electrical shocks.

I wanted to take one last hard punishment, but without any control: I will be spreadeagled bound to my bed, while a computer gives me instructions and applies me the shocks. It will also show me torsos pictures to look at on a screen placed 1 meter above my head.

It takes me many time to learn how to do such computer program. Controlling the electric relay switches and getting the computer to talk were great challenges for me, but with time, working on it each days, I succeeded.

Mechanics were simple: 2 electrical relay control the output (relays make characteristic sound when switched, tchack). For the current to pass, each 2 relays must be switched to ON. So, when R1 relay switches ON, nothing happens. When the second relay, R2, switches ON, the shock is applied. Then, the program just wait the wanted time and tell both relays to switch OFF. So it can apply me shocks of any duration.

The program will get a random duration for the shock to apply, between 100 and 900 milliseconds. It also get random times between talks and waits. For each shock, the program will draws one bonus (or not): doubled time (20%), two shocks (20%), long wait (25%), short wait (15%), no shock duration given (35%), shock duration given just before the shock (35%), surprise (9%, not announced), fury mode of multiple 0.5 or 1 second shocks giving 2 3 or 4 seconds in total (9%), execution by a single 6 seconds shock (3%).

6 shocks like that for one game. Some statistics gave me an average of 5.3 seconds of electrical pain in total. As the current will be very painful, that was OK for me.

The computer will give me instructions and informations with a synthetic female voice : "Tighten up", "Worship", "Rest", "Long wait", "Unknown shock duration", ...

At each new shock R1 relay will switch ON, tchack, and a new random torso picture is displayed above me. Instructions are then given always following the same logic (except with some bonus): the machine orders me to tighten up, wait a random time, then orders me to worship the picture, wait again a random time, and then the shock is applied by R2, tchack. At the shock end, a random time to rest will be given (between 5 and 40 seconds).

I prepared also a mouse to control the program. With the wheel, I can select stoppable mode or unstoppable mode. Also a test shock (of 3 milliseconds) can be triggered with right clicks.

I was really proud of my creation.

When everything was ready, I gave myself an entire sunday to play my scenario. Using the entire morning for to setup everything. It was difficult to make the screen above my head stay in place. Some days before, I cropped all pictures to get only a nice view to the torsos with great quality and details. I was becoming very hot and warm during the preparation. A one last minute fantasy made me oil my belly button to allow the navel electrode to move more easily in it. And fortunately, I hadn't salted the water used to wet the cotton pads.

I can tell you all my experience as I recorded two videos of it (one of my entire body, one of my right foot sole).

I found myself standing still near the bed, bare nude, looking at all this setup ready to restrain me and punish me in the hard way. I touched my nipples to feel them one last time before the game begins. They became hard as I realized what was coming.

I first bound my legs spread to the bed base, put the nipple pads on, wires, tapes, belt. This took me time. I placed then the third wire into my bellybutton, played a little with it to feel it deep inside, tapes. I breathed a little then launched the test shock with no real fear, click click, tchack tchack. For sure the three electrodes were all good. It was a really hot, enjoyable sensation. The short test shock was not painful at all, but it made me contract my chest, making me fear the full experience. I bound then my arms spread, with two little screwgates joining the straps around my wrists to another two around the bed base. So it will be difficult to release myself but not impossible. I launched other test shocks many more times (17) for fun and release some stress.

I waited a bit more than 6 minutes, getting very warm as I knew my body being ready to receive its punishment.
 
The Game:
--------------

I played then with the mouse wheel "Stopable game" "Unstopable game" "Stopable game" "Unstopable game". Heard my heart beat. Took some time for myself, deep breath, and then double clicked. "You have 2 minutes before the game begins". I was now condemned to play the game I prepared since a long time. Nothing could save now my poor torso from the severe pain it will endure. The sensations were intense as hell, melting shame, anger and terror. On one side I felt fear about the shocks, on the other side, I wished so badly my navel and my nipples to be burned as each one deserved it. I thought quickly that this last experiment could be very harmful. I raised many times my head to look at my prepared torso and realized it was me in that helpless, fragile body ready to take its harsh sentence.

"1 minute" I moved a little, feeling the navel wire tickling my innie knot. The oil idea was great. I found myself moving around my belly, to feel the navel wire tip that will soon electrify me. It was a pitiful distraction that kept me somewhere else for a moment. I started to move all my torso to know what latitudes left me in my moves. Up, left, right, dancing a little like being shocked, making me as ready as I could be. "30 seconds" Sensations became overwhelming. I started to fully contract my torso up as it will be asked, offering myself to the machine, pressing my chest against the belt. Thus made some water flow on each side of my torso: my two nipples were like crying about the severe punishment they will soon take. I tried then to get my chest as little as possible to see if I could avoid the belt to press the electrodes. I contemplated one last time my torso, it was like nothing, so weak, without any defense against all the setup against it. I was so near to get my ultimate sentence applied for having, in a huge shameful secret, enjoyed all those beautiful torsos and electrified so many times my navel and my nipples for my pleasure.

"Unstoppable mode started" It was unbelievable, out of time. After some seconds, tchack, R1 switched ON and a wonderful twink fit torso was displayed for me. The full experience opened to me in no time. "One, a 350 milliseconds shock will be applied" I looked at these perfect thin nipples and at this magnificent swirling belly button, not really thinking about what will coming soon. "Tighten up" I felt my torso rising up as if it had accepted its sentence. I closed my eyes thinking that my body wasn't mine anymore. "Worship" I quickly opened my eyes and enjoyed then the overall beauty of the body on the screen. Tchack R2. I screamed a little as the shock began. Tchack R1 R2 OFF. "Rest" The pain induced was very hard, but it was short. I remembered myself that the first two shocks don't get any bonus, this appeased me for the next one but made me fear more what will follow next.

Tchack R1. I used to love the next picture above me. "Two, a 100 milliseconds shock will be applied" I was frustrated but eased as I will get the shorter shock possible. I admired this nice fit chest and its two beautiful puffy nipples. The navel wasn't really appealing my eyes as it wasn't an innie one but the slightly shaped abs around it were very hot. "Tighten up" I gave my body to the shock with no real fear. I felt myself deserving a very longer shock as I enjoyed a lot this perfect torso. "Worship" Tchack Tchack. "Rest" The shock came too quickly after the order to worship: I hadn't the time to enjoy the wait. The shock gave me great sensations, but I wanted more. At least with it, I knew I had crossed the bonus activation line.

Tchack. I looked quickly at the next picture and then looked at my chest and the belt that was pressing the electrodes. "Three, duration will be given just before the shock" I was feeling some fear as the sentence wasn't given. I became angry against myself, thinking I definitively deserve to get my navel and my nipples being shocked and burned, wishing it will be severe this time. "Tighten up" I took a deep breath and lifted my whole body with some anger, feeling more than before the belt tighten my chest. "Worship" I didn't really enjoyed the torso displayed above me, so I focused myself on my body's sensations: closing my eyes, feeling all this stuff on my torso, moving a little to feel the wire in contact with the knot of my belly. "Applying a 850 milliseconds shock" Tchack R2. This time, the shock induced immediately a lot more pain than before due to the belt. With this first long shock, my whole body rose up even more, opening itself to its hard punishment, and started to contract and shake. I wasn't really in control. The pain was truly unbearable, infinitely more painful than all my past experimentations. Recordings had show that I screamed at the end of the shock. Tchack. "Rest" It was so intense and harsh that some pain remained on me. I couldn't tell if I was seriously injured. I was feeling myself so helpless, my nipples were so weak against the huge power that was being applied to them. I was submitted to the machine, the complete subject of its pitiless pain tests. This intense felling made me get a plain hard boner. However, I wasn't really enjoying the game anymore.

Tchack. The new picture offered me a nice view to the wonderful fit torso of a swimmer. "Four, a 500 milliseconds shock will be applied" I thought first that I could endure this one without trouble. No bonus seemed to have been drawn this time, unless maybe the surprise one (it would apply me the shock without the worship instruction). "Tighten up" With some hesitations I gave my so helpless torso to the pain to come, staying ready, contracted in some anger, feeling a lot of warm and power from my fully erected sex. "Worship" I first admired the two hard nipples and their details on the screen. Then, sticking out my tongue, I imagined myself tasting the sweet thin ooze of this nice round innie belly button that was showing me its fragile little knot. R2 called me back, tchack. I passed through the shock looking at this beautiful torso, thinking it will definitely never know that sometimes, navel and nipples can take so much electrical pain. Tchack. "Rest" Things were getting worse as a lot more pain remained after this shock. But for the moment, I had luck with the durations.


The sentence:
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Tchack R1, new picture. "Five, you have 30 seconds before the 6 seconds shock execution" I couldn't realized at first that the most severe bonus was drawn. Soon, I felt an hot warm sensation passing through all my body. I was here, totally helpless, my torso prepared, and I will take this very long hard shock and there was nothing to do. My mind was somewhere else. All my sensations were overwhelming me and made me loose some precious time. I looked at my helpless body, moved a little to feel all the setup that will soon execute me. I tried then to enjoy the picture for what it was: the for ever torso picture of my execution. Moving around again while looking at it. The torso was from a young man posing hands up (but not stretching), offering his torso to the camera and to my perverted eyes like I will soon offer mine to the machine and to my severe punishment. "15 seconds" This awoke me. I first clicked the mouse to try to stop this fucking game: nothing happened. I took the screwgate at my right hand and tried to release myself. But in such short time, I failed. "3 2 1" Maybe 2 seconds. "Tighten up" I dropped the karabiner and obeyed to my torturer will, opening up, giving him my helpless torso, contracting it to make it strong as if it will help me. Then, just got enough time to admire the wonderful torso in front of me and its two perfectly round, well defined, innately mild hard, little nipples and their nice round tips. I was waiting the order to worship this magnificent body but I forgot it is not asked for an execution.

Tchack. "Die" At first, it was more bearable than the third hard shock so I tried to keep my strong torso position. I tried to decontract my chest to loosen a little the belt but failed at it. My belly button started to make poping sounds, telling me it couldn't take more. As my belly was shaking the wire tip in my navel moved just a bit on another spot of my belly knot, making the surge (at each sides) very more painful, unbearable. I started to dance in pain, not really controlling myself, to find a position where the metallic tip scratching my navel will not let pass too many current. Finding some but always ending to lose them. Searching such easing positions was a game in itself, as while moving I would get hard, extreme or infinite pain, randomly. I remember that I looked at the perfect torso picture. The belly button wasn't deep but offered to my eyes a nice little hot bulging knot. The chest wasn't muscular at all but seemed now so strong to me : looking at it helped me a little to endure what was going.

The current that was passing through my torso, burning my so loved body parts, weakening them even more, was of an intensity it never came close to. The shock seemed to last a lot more than 6 seconds. Due to the harsh pain, controlling nothing anymore, I found myself brutally jolting my torso in every directions. I feared that one of the nipple wires could be pulled, so I started to strongly contract my chest to tighten the belt. This induced more severe pain, but I needed to maintain the two electrode tips right above the pads at all costs: if one of them would slip out, all the current would pass then through one single nipple, making things a lot more worse. My sole hope was from the navel electrode to leave its place. I was so shaking frenetically my torso around, giving me even more pain as my knot was being hardly scratched by its electrode tip. An execution is inescapable at all and the navel electrode remained in its place.

It was unimaginable. The poping sounds were growing. With the help of my arms, I raised my chest to look correctly at my belly button and the two adhesive tapes on it, but I ended watching my poor helpless torso being hardly executed, contracting my abs to endure as well as I could, the sentence. The unbearable, extreme pain discharged to me was heavily vibrating, glowing around the three weak spots of my torso. A strange, quick, not really enjoyable but very intense orgasm came to me. I jerked heavily (the screen got some), fearing that some cum slips in my belly button as it would probably kill me. It was the first time I came only from the pain, without masturbating myself.

Enduring my severe punishment as deserved, I haven't screamed much nor loud during the sentence application, but I have wide spread my toes after 1.8 seconds under the harsh pain.

Tchack. My execution ended. I fell down as the machine realized me. I took some time to feel how much pain remained me. "1 minute of rest" Thankfully I had programmed a long resting time after that insane bonus. I played again with the screwgate to release myself and I succeeded (after 49 seconds). I immediately removed the wires from my body. I was safe. Tchack "Six, two 750 milliseconds shocks will be applied" I heard distant instructions and relay sounds as I was relaxing myself spreadeagled on the bed. I couldn't enjoy the last torso displayed while feeling such severe pain remaining on my navel and on my chest. "Unstoppable mode ended" Soon, I removed all the chest stuff to look at my nipples. They were hard erected, red and warm, painful. My belly button was cum wet and its little knot inflated under the power surge. I took then a long time to relax completely and calm down.

After that, my two nipples peeled and became very sensitive for days and my belly button oozed during 2 weeks. Pain took approx. 1 month to disappear completely.

When I remember myself this last experiment it is far from enjoyable.

I never again wanted to look at twink torsos. I tried to fap on some, I couldn't.
 

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