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When did you realize you were into this kink?
- Thread starter apostate630
- Start date
Subhunt
Governor
I have been attracted to bondage since first grade. I was 6 or 7 years old, in first grade, and I could get an erection just thinking about a naked woman who was tied up. In second grade, my penis was huge at the thought of a naked woman tied to a post, her hands overhead.
I was an early bloomer. I began shaving in eighth grade. I had a mustache as a freshman in high school. I bought my first bondage magazines shortly thereafter. I experienced my first strip bar, not when I was 18, but when I was only 14!
My fiance said she loved to be tied up. We married. She lied! The marriage did not survive her deceit.
I am currently 53 years old. That is the age that I discovered my love for a crucified female. The sight of a naked woman on a cross makes me insane with lust, my penis is ready to explode! At age 53, I still have the sex drive of an 18 year old young man. I masterbate once a day, or if time permits, twice a day. Finding Crux Forums has been good for me. It has been very good for me. I'm optimistic that I will be successful in my search for my second wife, with a happy marriage, one that incorporates bondage foreplay. If she wants to be crucified, so much the better . If not, that is OK. A willing bondage loving wife is acceptable to me. A humble submissive wife is a gift from GOD ALMIGHTY, a precious gift more valuable than gold. To me, she is worth more than her weight in gold. I'm searching for her. She is searching for me. When we meet, we will have a lifetime of mutual pleasure. It is my most sincere prayer that I find her. My fondest dream would be to locate a middle aged American woman, and marry. We will open our home to American crux fans three weekends each year: Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July weekend, and Labor Day weekend. Americans from all 50 state could converge on our house, and play adult games three weekends each year. I suspect those three weekends would be the highlight of the year, the best possible weekend.
No, I was not raised Catholic. I'm mixed: a little Methodist, a little charismatic, a little catholic, and part Jewish. I'm comfortable in any house of worship: christian of any type or Jewish of any type. I have been in Buddist Temples. One faith that I have not visited is the Muslim faith, though I have several Muslim friends. When I visit my Muslim friends, the wife sits at my feet, ready for my command, to immediatly serve me whatever I wish: snacks, food, drink, etc. That is the type of woman that I am searching for, a beautiful woman who sits at my feet. I hope my prayers and dreams are found soon, and fulfilled.
I was an early bloomer. I began shaving in eighth grade. I had a mustache as a freshman in high school. I bought my first bondage magazines shortly thereafter. I experienced my first strip bar, not when I was 18, but when I was only 14!
My fiance said she loved to be tied up. We married. She lied! The marriage did not survive her deceit.
I am currently 53 years old. That is the age that I discovered my love for a crucified female. The sight of a naked woman on a cross makes me insane with lust, my penis is ready to explode! At age 53, I still have the sex drive of an 18 year old young man. I masterbate once a day, or if time permits, twice a day. Finding Crux Forums has been good for me. It has been very good for me. I'm optimistic that I will be successful in my search for my second wife, with a happy marriage, one that incorporates bondage foreplay. If she wants to be crucified, so much the better . If not, that is OK. A willing bondage loving wife is acceptable to me. A humble submissive wife is a gift from GOD ALMIGHTY, a precious gift more valuable than gold. To me, she is worth more than her weight in gold. I'm searching for her. She is searching for me. When we meet, we will have a lifetime of mutual pleasure. It is my most sincere prayer that I find her. My fondest dream would be to locate a middle aged American woman, and marry. We will open our home to American crux fans three weekends each year: Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July weekend, and Labor Day weekend. Americans from all 50 state could converge on our house, and play adult games three weekends each year. I suspect those three weekends would be the highlight of the year, the best possible weekend.
No, I was not raised Catholic. I'm mixed: a little Methodist, a little charismatic, a little catholic, and part Jewish. I'm comfortable in any house of worship: christian of any type or Jewish of any type. I have been in Buddist Temples. One faith that I have not visited is the Muslim faith, though I have several Muslim friends. When I visit my Muslim friends, the wife sits at my feet, ready for my command, to immediatly serve me whatever I wish: snacks, food, drink, etc. That is the type of woman that I am searching for, a beautiful woman who sits at my feet. I hope my prayers and dreams are found soon, and fulfilled.
Fantasmo
Senator
Well, as this thread has resurfaced, why not:
I was interested in BDSM since I was a teenager, but strictly speaking I wasn't really interested in the cross (= I never paid any specific attention to it), regardless what kind.
I have been more or less active in BDSM for over 20 years now.
Markus' art made me find the foundation and discover the Crux scene a little over half a year back.
I was interested in BDSM since I was a teenager, but strictly speaking I wasn't really interested in the cross (= I never paid any specific attention to it), regardless what kind.
I have been more or less active in BDSM for over 20 years now.
Markus' art made me find the foundation and discover the Crux scene a little over half a year back.
AnimaSinistra
Governor
Unlike many others, religion played a minor part in my attraction for crucifiction. I discovered my strong S/M tendencies as a child (or rather a small boy, I was 8-10 years old), when I was hospitalized for what it seemed a horribly long period because my parents weren't allowed to stay with me. I hated the nurses (all female, of course) so deeply that I beagan to fantasize tying them, expecially the naughtiest. At the same time, I felt rather excited at the thought of them being helpless, hands tied behind their backs, struggling and wriggling to get free. No explicit sex yet, I still had no idea of it.
As for the Crucifiction, I was more attracted by the thieves than by Christ, because in the great majority of paintings they are depicted tied, not nailed to their crosses. It seemed to me less cruel and more sexually exciting at the same time, but I didn't give much of a tought about it. The explosion came when I saw a poster of the '70 film "I piaceri della tortura" ("The Pleasures of Torture") with a semi-naked woman kneeling in front of the viewer, her hands chained behind her back, covered only with a skimpy bra and loincloth. Behind her, there were scenes of semi-naked women on the rack, on the wheel and so on. It was an extremely powerful shock for me, I realized how deeply I was attracted by S/M. From then on I searched for S/M magazines, films and the like until I happened into crucified-women.com, and I found what I was looking for. Crucifiction -female crucifiction in particular- is the sexiest torture I can think of, there's no need to explain why.
But I think I am rather a rara avis in this group because of a characteristic of mine:
I never imagine using nails, not even in my phantasies. The woman is always tied, never nailed ("Olya's Way of the Cross" is a splendid example of what I mean). I am much more interested in the sexual side of crucifiction than in actual suffering. So, I imagine I am kissing and caressing a naked, tied female prisoner until she too grows excited, and then raping her (not too violently, I hope) until we both reach sexual pleasure. Sometimes I phantasize being tied naked to a cross or a rack, and a woman does the same to me.
That's all. I am very glad having joined this forum where I can discuss freely my tendencies and my erotic fantasies. Above all, I do not consider myself a monster or an abnornal anymore because I found clever and even caring people here. Thanks to everybody!
As for the Crucifiction, I was more attracted by the thieves than by Christ, because in the great majority of paintings they are depicted tied, not nailed to their crosses. It seemed to me less cruel and more sexually exciting at the same time, but I didn't give much of a tought about it. The explosion came when I saw a poster of the '70 film "I piaceri della tortura" ("The Pleasures of Torture") with a semi-naked woman kneeling in front of the viewer, her hands chained behind her back, covered only with a skimpy bra and loincloth. Behind her, there were scenes of semi-naked women on the rack, on the wheel and so on. It was an extremely powerful shock for me, I realized how deeply I was attracted by S/M. From then on I searched for S/M magazines, films and the like until I happened into crucified-women.com, and I found what I was looking for. Crucifiction -female crucifiction in particular- is the sexiest torture I can think of, there's no need to explain why.
But I think I am rather a rara avis in this group because of a characteristic of mine:
I never imagine using nails, not even in my phantasies. The woman is always tied, never nailed ("Olya's Way of the Cross" is a splendid example of what I mean). I am much more interested in the sexual side of crucifiction than in actual suffering. So, I imagine I am kissing and caressing a naked, tied female prisoner until she too grows excited, and then raping her (not too violently, I hope) until we both reach sexual pleasure. Sometimes I phantasize being tied naked to a cross or a rack, and a woman does the same to me.
That's all. I am very glad having joined this forum where I can discuss freely my tendencies and my erotic fantasies. Above all, I do not consider myself a monster or an abnornal anymore because I found clever and even caring people here. Thanks to everybody!
NarasinghaHouse
Condemned
Ditto, early teens. I happened across someone's cache of sadomasochistic magazines in the woods. All kinds of what we now call BDSM was described in the form of torture fantasy. I started playing with self-bondage, that led to suspension, the connection with the crucifixion happened pretty quickly and there I went.
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
"That's all. I am very glad having joined this forum where I can discuss freely my tendencies and my erotic fantasies. Above all, I do not consider myself a monster or an abnornal anymore because I found clever and even caring people here. Thanks to everybody!"
The original logo expressed that idea perfectly, but I must admit I do like the new one. Welcome!!
The original logo expressed that idea perfectly, but I must admit I do like the new one. Welcome!!
H
Heraclitus
Guest
"I never imagine using nails, not even in my phantasies. The woman is always tied, never nailed ("Olya's Way of the Cross" is a splendid example of what I mean). I am much more interested in the sexual side of crucifiction than in actual suffering. So, I imagine I am kissing and caressing a naked, tied female prisoner until she too grows excited, and then raping her (not too violently, I hope) until we both reach sexual pleasure. Sometimes I phantasize being tied naked to a cross or a rack, and a woman does the same to me."
I can relate to that. It's more of a sexual thing for me too, but not as sexual as that, if you can understand. For me it's not about nailing or lots of violence, but I wouldn't go as far as you in the way of having sex on the cross! I suppose I am kind of in between the 2. It has to be about the bondage and the punishment, but not so violent that the violence destroys the eroticism. Not sure I am making sense here!
I can relate to that. It's more of a sexual thing for me too, but not as sexual as that, if you can understand. For me it's not about nailing or lots of violence, but I wouldn't go as far as you in the way of having sex on the cross! I suppose I am kind of in between the 2. It has to be about the bondage and the punishment, but not so violent that the violence destroys the eroticism. Not sure I am making sense here!
AnimaSinistra
Governor
Indya
Executioner
When I was a kid, read a super-heroine comic where she is crucified brutally by villainess. I thought my heroine would over-come from crux and destroy the vamp girl. But that never happened. Atlast my heroine succumbed. But she met her demise bravely. No beggings.. No tears..
That might be first instance which made me to addict to this fantasy.
I was brought up in a catholic missionary. Once they planned to conduct a girls only drama on Jesus Christ's life history. A tall girl was selected for main roll ie Jesus Christ. . Everything happened smoothly. When on the big day, Jesus girl pulled herself back last minute. Our Mother Superior ( M.S. ) got upset.
There comes my 2nd chance.. As I was the second tallest, M.S. asked me to take part. I accept that with grateful. I was 16 y.o. then. My breasts are wrapped tightly by rough cotton cloth like I have nothing out there.. I was dressed with sheer body-stockings. And a skimpy loin cloth took its place on me. I felt pretty horny ever. My buddies greeted me with nice encouraging words.
As I served as a script checker, ( who supervises the dialogues while all acters are performing) I had no problem to cope-up with the Jesus' part. The play gone pretty nice & smooth. I enjoyed my crucifixion scene pretty well & performed above the mark. At that moment I was even ready to undergo a real crucifixion. Thus this fantacy had cemented in me..
That might be first instance which made me to addict to this fantasy.
I was brought up in a catholic missionary. Once they planned to conduct a girls only drama on Jesus Christ's life history. A tall girl was selected for main roll ie Jesus Christ. . Everything happened smoothly. When on the big day, Jesus girl pulled herself back last minute. Our Mother Superior ( M.S. ) got upset.
There comes my 2nd chance.. As I was the second tallest, M.S. asked me to take part. I accept that with grateful. I was 16 y.o. then. My breasts are wrapped tightly by rough cotton cloth like I have nothing out there.. I was dressed with sheer body-stockings. And a skimpy loin cloth took its place on me. I felt pretty horny ever. My buddies greeted me with nice encouraging words.
As I served as a script checker, ( who supervises the dialogues while all acters are performing) I had no problem to cope-up with the Jesus' part. The play gone pretty nice & smooth. I enjoyed my crucifixion scene pretty well & performed above the mark. At that moment I was even ready to undergo a real crucifixion. Thus this fantacy had cemented in me..
A shame there's no video (is there?)
john rambo
Magistrate
Attachments
john rambo
Magistrate
Attachments
Hangnail
Tribune
When I was young I remember reading a book with Cicely Mary Barker's flower fairies in it, and feeling a strange excitement at the Rose Hip fairy.
that's sweet, Hangnail!
Silver-Birch Fairy's nice, too:
Not sure whether they're allowed under the "no kiddies" rule,
but Hangnail's right to remind us of the strange fascination many of us experienced
when we were wholly innocent of any sexual comprehension
and looking at very innocent images.
AnimaSinistra
Governor
I never read that book but you're right. It's the proof that we are moved by impulses far deeper than we imagine since early childhood.
Indya
Executioner
That was an amateur stage play.. Our scenes or pretty restricted.. I could re-collect those part of scenes..
After the verdict, a hollow patibulam made out of plywood loaded on my shoulders.. I just side-walked across the stage couple of times. My buddy pretended whipping me.. With that, scene ended there..
The patibulam was 4' long I think.. and that hardly weighed 5+kgs..
Ducans
Governor
Beautifull! Even the colours and little details of the leafs!
Ducans
Governor
That's one of the reasons I like this site: we can without fear of being judged express our fantasies, whom for a lot of people (even do I) go back to their youth.