It's a dream ! It's a dream ! Perhaps this horrible (wonderful ?) suffering after the whip makes me dreaming ...
I'm walking to be crucified ! I'm walking near my sister Barb with this heavy wooden plank hurting my tender shoulders :
soon, two big nails will pierce my wrists to link them to this patibulum and I'll be exposed, nude, in an horrible pain, in front of the crowd !
Can I wish that some people could be a bit sympathizing with us ? I doubt : during the whipping, they were laughing, they were insulting while the lashes were stroking our sweet skin !
At the end, they were shrieking : "Crucify ! Crucify !" !!!
Ooooooh, my sweet sister Barb, tell me why, tell me that we're not here, tell me that it's not possible to do suffer like this some gentle girls, without real reason, only for their pleasure !
But, in fact, if I remember well, my life is totally turned to this ultimate target : since that I was a young girl, was I not attracted by this man, nailed to his cross in the churches ? Was I not so much desiring to be submitted to this unbelievable
torment ? Was I not wet in my intimate grotta in seeing this nudity exposed to the crowd until the death ?
Mmmmmmmmm! I want to live that, I'm ready for that, I'm calling the irons into my body, the cross'dance , the break of my legs when they will be tired to see us yet alive and when they will be not aroused by our suffering bodies : so, they will return to home and will say to their wife : "Oh dear, it was a wonderful show today !" ...
... and, my sister Barb, we'll slowly die to our cross and the crows will not wait our death to start their banquet, but, never mind, it will be not a great pain , only the usual flow of the life ...
My suffering sisters, dont be afraid by your trial : it will be not a punishment but the ultimate fulfillment of our life, of our ...
Messa and I have left the edge of town now and have begun to ascend the hill of execution, passing through the shade of trees along the forested path. We trudge side by side, bearing our heavy wooden planks with stoic determination. She confides in me quietly....her words coming between our anguished grunts and groans as our faltering progress is pressed on by the stinging lash of the whip applied quite liberally to the naked flesh of our backs and buttocks and breasts. She tells me of her acute sense of humiliation at the thought of being nailed and raised nude before the eyes of the hundreds or even thousands of onlookers. She asks me to tell her why this is happening to us. But she also confides in me the startling fact that she has dreamed of being crucified since childhood when she first gazed upon the crucifix on the wall of her church, and wondered what it would be like to replace that man on the cross. She tells me that if we must, she intends to enjoy the thrill of the final dance of life, high on the unforgiving wood of the cross, and that she wishes to share that horrible ultimate fulfillment of life with me. I take this all in solemnly, nodding agreement as we stumble and fall, take the lash, regain our footing and head on up the hill. Behind us I hear more commotion. The others are coming now too. The show will soon begin. Beside me the gentle refrain of "Allouette" reaches my ears.