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A Slave's Diary

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Weel, when we come ta planning the flouers for the Kirk and the meat for the cèilidh, ye’ll see how cannie Master is. He proponed we have Hannah and Harold over for coffee one mornin and mention how jaupish it were to pick the right flouers and fuid. Weel, a’ that Hannah lichtit oop luik a globie! At ance, she was fullo ideas. Afore we could stop her, she insisted she dae handle it aw, parteecular bonnie flouers from her own garden. Master, of coure, insisted he would pay aw costs. As Hannah gabbered on wi her ideas, I catcht Master, oot o the corner o my eye, grinning luik the cattie wi the canary! Ain’t he a cliver one?
 
As the time for the kin ta arrive was approachin, we tak throu haund oor living arrangements. Sin we’d begun “dating” in public, A’d spent maist nights at Master’s, only going ta ma dump when he was traivelin’. Master insisted we be careful. A followed his orders, but A was juist plain prood ta be wi him, nae maiter what ither fowk micht think.

Noo he proponed A move back to ma placie until efter the wedding, for appearances. A asked if he thought his fowk would be offended, and he said, nae, they were very open-minded aboot that. He was worried about my Ma and Brar. At tha, A laughed oot lood. “Mi Ma has decided A was a hure sin ta day she kicked me oot of the house. An my Brar knows aboot us and loves that we are together.” After Master thought awhile on that, he agreed.
 
Master’s brar and his wife alang with their cuisin arrived first. They were preceese what I expected, very intellectual luik Master, but guid and freendly fowk for a’ that. Master’s brar, David, leuks alikest Master, though a wee older and no so bonnie (least ta me). They soond alike and talked a lot of thair paurents (who are baith gone nou). They seemed best o’ freends, but I coud see a tension, a rivalry atween thaim, as if each thouht the ither not quite as smairt as he. Of course, A ken that Master is the smairtest iver been!

We aw went out to dinner at a dearthfu restaurant in C*** D*** and had a braw evening. In the end, Master and his brar dibber-daubered no end aboot who would pey the lawin.
 
The follaein day, my brar, Leaf*, arrived frae Northren Ireland. Losh, he be bonnie and A’d misst him uncoly*. I was burstit wi’ pride when I introduced Leaf ta Master’s kin. They got along famously frae the first. Of course, Leaf an Master already ken each ither and were best of freends. We all talked and joked and had a braw time. However, for me there was one smuir* hanging over ma haid. Ma Maw was expectit the neist day.

Master tells me some of youse are having tribble with the Scots. So, I’ll try to speak more o’ the Standard English. An help you wi the Scots words.
Leaf - nickname for my brar, Leith
Uncoly – very much
Smuir – a smothering cloud of smoke.


Master note. I find the Scots word "uncoly" to be almost poetic. I suspect it relates to the English expression "uncommonly," or even "uncouth." But it would take one more familiar with Scots and etymology than me to answer that. The first reference I can find is Dmf. 1820 Blackwood's Mag. (Sept.) 660: "The priest wha scribed the epitaph wrote uncoly at random when he called Adam a saunt."
 
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The follaein day, my brar, Leaf*, arrived frae Northren Ireland. Losh, he be bonnie and A’d misst him uncoly*. I was burstit wi’ pride when I introduced Leaf ta Master’s kin. They got along famously frae the first. Of course, Leaf an Master already ken each ither and were best of freends. We all talked and joked and had a braw time. However, for me there was one smuir* hanging over ma haid. Ma Maw was expectit the neist day.

Master tells me some of youse are having tribble with the Scots. So, I’ll try to speak more o’ the Standard English. An help you wi the Scots words.
Leaf - nickname for my brar, Leith
Uncoly – very much
Smuir – a smothering cloud of smoke.


Master note. I find the Scots word "uncoly" to be almost poetic. I suspect it relates to the English expression "uncommonly," or even "uncouth." But it would take one more familiar with Scots and etymology than me to answer that. The first reference I can find is Dmf. 1820 Blackwood's Mag. (Sept.) 660: "The priest wha scribed the epitaph wrote uncoly at random when he called Adam a saunt."
uncoly (which is new to me ;) ) must be an adverb from unco familiar to you, PrPr I'm sure, and probably others here, from Burns's wonderful satire Address to the Unco Guid* - that word is cognate with English 'uncouth', but in the Old English sense of 'unknown, uncommon', not the modern English sense.

*It begins:
O ye wha are sae guid yoursel',
Sae pious and sae holy,
Ye've nought to do but mark and tell
Your neibours' fauts and folly!

- note that in the title, Burns uses unco as an adverb, the -ly form is hardly necessary.
 
So early the next morning (appropriately a gey dreich day) we three were waiting at the bus stop for me maw. Even with the wirries of how she would be, A wa in a guid mood. There A was standing atween Master and Leaf, the two bonniest, canniest, sweetest men I’d ever knawn. An, God forgie thaim, they both loved puir wee Evie.

Well, the bus arrived and maw stepped down to face us with her typical expression as soor if she’d just etten a leemon. In a moment her face brichten (a wee bit) and she almost cried out as she spread her airms and leapt forward to embrace Leaf! Maw showered him with kisses and repeated how much she’s missed him. At last, she let him go and gave me a hug and a kiss on the heid. Then she held me back and looked at me, “Guid ta see you, too, Evie. Have you pit on a wee bit of weight?” (That’s so no true! I’ve lost four punds getting boun to look guid in ma dress!)

Afore I could reply, she turned and shook hands wi Master. Maw hae a slight soft spot for him after all his support when my Da died. “Yer leuking fine, Geoff. Are ye sure ye want to go throu wi this?”

Master laughed heartily a if maw meant it as a baur (which she damm well didn’t! Maw aye tries to skelp me down), and replied “I have never been so sure of something in my whole life. I just hope Evie doesn’t decide I’m too old and back out for some young beau.” He laughed again.

“Come,” Master said, “let's get your luggage and get you to your rooms.”


gey dreich -very dreary
boun -ready
baur - joke
Skelp - knock, slap
 
The interaction between the characters is very believable @Praefectus Praetorio

please don’t tone down the Scottish English, I’m loving following this, I can hear her Scottish lilt which I really enjoy - they have an interesting turn of phrase

Engaging and nice, I certainly hope Master Geoff has something special in mind for the wedding night!

Could be a very interesting Honeymoon in store as well? There’s a variety of interesting destinations they could choose from the Crux travel brochure!
 
please don’t tone down the Scottish English, I’m loving following this, I can hear her Scottish lilt which I really enjoy - they have an interesting turn of phrase
I'm a bit confused. I thought Dina was speaking some Northumbrian dialect. However, I'm not an expert on these, native tongues. Perhaps someone here more familiar with primitive language could elucidate.

The lave o’ the day wi Maw wisna the worst, though she did git in a wee lichtlie at me whane'er she could. Houiver, Master and Leaf refused to bite and wanst, Leaf pit her doun richt haird, “I’ll not list that aboot my tittie, Maw. She is a fine person and this time is all aboot her and her waddin to the man o’ her dreams. Yer a waddiner. Ye must shaw the bride respect!” Weel. That shut her up for a while!

Lave – remainder
Lichtlie – a scorn
Wanst - once
Tittie – sister
Waddiner – wedding guest
 
At e’en, we aw had suppers together in the hottle dinner room. I sat neist Master and foreanent Leaf at one end of the brod and Maw was wi the lave of Master’s faimily at the ither. They seemed tae get along weel-a-weel and I was happy to be awa from her. I remerked to Master that I wisst I had the courage to say haud yer wheesht! tae her.
Master thought a moment and replied, “Dina, I think your mother is a very unhappy person. She always was, but losing your Dad must have made her even more so. Unfortunately, she tries to make other people as unhappy as her.”
Leaf said, “Yer gey belter, Geoff!” I just stared as if I was in a dwam at how cannie Master was!

Foreanent – across from
Brod – eating table
Haud yer wheesht! - shut up!
Gey belter – very brilliant (approx)
Dwam - dream or stupor
 
Taum*
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*sullen angry mood, peevish.
Then being gien the task tae keep them pair refugees frae Kent awa alang wi the stravaigin anti-mask covid kerryin brexiters lookin tae stert anither stramash in the parishes.
Then being tasked with keeping those poor refugees from Kent away along with the aimless wandering anti-mask covid carrying brexiters aiming to start another outbreak of trouble in the parishes.
 
Could be a very interesting Honeymoon in store as well? There’s a variety of interesting destinations they could choose from the Crux travel brochure!
Nou mony been asking aboot the honeymoon. I’ll not tell ye yet aboot that, no ‘till after the mairiage. But I can tell ye the ploy. We shall spend the waddin night and the next at home, Then we fly ta Malaga in Andalusia, Spain. We’ll bide at a condo in Marbella for twa sennichts. Master wants me to see the Rock of Gibraltar, the Picasso Museum in Malaga and the Alhambra in Grenada. And a day trip to Morocco! A'm verra leukin aheid ta him eddicating me aboot all that. He knaws so muckle ye wat. And A’m verra unkennin!
And Master has some ither ideas, he daesna lat daub, but just smiles! When he does that it makes me aw fimmis!

Ploy -a scheme, a bit of fun
Sennicht - a week
Wat -know, understand
Unkennin - ignorant
Lat Daub - make known
Fimmis - excited, impatient
 
Nou mony been asking aboot the honeymoon. I’ll not tell ye yet aboot that, no ‘till after the mairiage. But I can tell ye the ploy. We shall spend the waddin night and the next at home, Then we fly ta Malaga in Andalusia, Spain. We’ll bide at a condo in Marbella for twa sennichts. Master wants me to see the Rock of Gibraltar, the Picasso Museum in Malaga and the Alhambra in Grenada. And a day trip to Morocco! A'm verra leukin aheid ta him eddicating me aboot all that. He knaws so muckle ye wat. And A’m verra unkennin!
And Master has some ither ideas, he daesna lat daub, but just smiles! When he does that it makes me aw fimmis!

Ploy -a scheme, a bit of fun
Sennicht - a week
Wat -know, understand
Unkennin - ignorant
Lat Daub - make known
Fimmis - excited, impatient
That sounds exciting to me as well, Dina. I think you are a very lucky slave indeed! I of course still want to hear about the wedding, it sounds right “Braw”

:ole::span1:
 
First, back to the wedding prep.

When the supper was ower an Master’s faimily had gaed to thair rooms, Master, Leaf, Maw an I stuid in the lobby for ane last blether. It wis clear that Maw had a wee too mony glasses of wine and was awee cockle. However, aw she need ta do was gae upstairs an gae ta bed, so we weren’t wirried.

It was then that Maw drappit soot.

She turned to Master an said in a vyce that coul be haurd ootthrou the Lobby, “I haurd fae your faimily that Evie is awready sleeping with ye. It’s nae surpreese to me as her mither. Sin she was a wee lassie, she’s hae the weys o a gibbie doon a vennel. But I want ye ta ken the kind of slut yer mairying the morn.”
I just stood there with my mouth gaping and tears forming in my eyes. Leaf who uisually would leap ta my aid wis so takken aback that he just stared in baise.

Blether – chat
Cockle – unsteady on your feet
Drappit soot – dropped the bomb, especially scandalous gossip
Ootthrou – throughout
Weys o a gibbie doon a vennel – Scots equivalent of morals of an alley cat.
Baise - bewilderment
 
A gutts an gangyls: nothing but stomach and legs, only fit for eating and walking.
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“He’s weel kent as ‘a gutts an gangyls’, slocherin doon onythin that gangs past. It’s why he gies aff stinks mair ramsh an reekit than the guff o the swamp.”
“He’s well known as being all stomach and legs, gobbling down anything in a slobbery way that goes by him. It’s why he gives off smells more rank and acrid than the stench of the swamp.”
 
Master’s face froze an he turned as white as a cloot.
In a moment, he began speaking verra huily an fairly, as if ivery word had to be perfect.
"Mrs. XXX, you are the mother of the woman I love and shall marry in a day, As such, I have strived to show you honor and respect in the past, and, I hope, in the future. Evie has shared with me all her youthful indiscretions and I found them all innocent and often humorous. I have known your daughter intimately for two years now. She is the kindest, most loving, most moral woman, I have ever known. She is intensely loyal. In the words of the proverb, she is a pearl of great price. I will be immensely proud after tomorrow to call her my wife. I shall forgive and forget what you just said. However, I promise you. If I ever hear such words spoken by you again in regard to Evie, I will never, never forgive and I will never, never allow you in my house. Please understand this, Mrs. XXX. I mean every word!”

Weel. Leaf an I just stood there, donnered. Maw had her mouth open an nae wirds came out. Leaf gently took her arm an turned her toward the stair. “Come along, Maw. I’ll get you to your room.”
I turned to Master an I canna tell you my feelings. I dinnae really ken them myself. A had nae wirds. All I ken was that I loved this man more than anything in the whole world. An ifn we weren’t in a hotel lobby, I’d have jimped on him an pumped him crosseyed!

White as a cloot – white as a sheet
Huily an fairly - slowly and carefully but steadily, cautiously.
Donnered – stunned, stupified
 
I don't know what Pearl charges? (But it says elsewhere in the Good Book, 'her price is greater than Rubie's') :p
Watch it! Don't you go implying that Dina's love is for sale!

The neist day wis the day afore oor waddin an naething verra exciting happent. Maw wis verra quate, espeicially whan Master wis roond aboot. But A winna bore yese wi the details o the day.

Maugre oor dig to conteena leeving thegither while the guests arrived, we gree’d that it wad be best if A steyed elsewhaur the nicht afore the ceremony. Afore A left, A gied Master the “waddin sark,” the shirt for him ta weir ta the waddin. Hit cost me dear, but A wantit to shaw ma luve.
So I grabbit ma things at nuin an walkit owerby the big hoose o ma matron of honor, Hannah. I have nae close female freends ma ain age, sic A decidit to chuise fine Hannah for ma wheen. You shoudna be surpreesed ta hear that she was blythely fair awa wi ma crave.

Weel, the first treat on ma arrival wis a pure barry twaloors she’d laid oot for us. We just sat having a blether while Hannah had Harold ser us. He didna mind; he is sic a dautie.
The lave o the day an forenicht was like a henshine sleep-over, something A’d niver kent. We joked and leuchen gey hard ma sides hurtit.
Neist mornin, I rase afore daw and was clean’d an doun the stair for brakfast richt early. Efter brakfast, Hannah helped me on wi ma dress.

Maugre – notwithstanding
Dig – resolve
Owerby – over the way
Fine - just or only
Wheen - group, party
Blythely fair awa – deliriously happy
Crave - desire or request
Pure berry – utterly wonderful and fantastic
Twaloors – midday meal, supper
Having a blether - catching up, gossiping, and talking for extended periods of time
Dautie – a dear, a pet
Henshine – a party for females
Leuchen – laughed
 
I think the least Geoff (Master) could do is buy us all a bottle of malt whisky for ploughing through, and re-reading till we understand it, this homely tale of nuptials. Unless, of course, Dina writes a minute-by-minute account of 'married life' later on.
 
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