Correct me if I am wrong but I believe it was @Wragg who first introduced the term to the threads of CruxForums.
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Barb goes BATS
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
ledoux
Governor
I've only been active for a few weeks and didn't know that. But, I promise, I would not have been above hoping everybody forgot that.
So, what happened to the original TA group?
Ah, yes! The finger right?
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You aren't exactly unpredictable, you know.
Well, if you're in service, you do what the Countess says.
This Countess does seem to be employing a bit of a double standard here - she's objecting to his Lordship's interest in Barb's tight little, but she's up to something now herself. Now, I'm not trying to be puritan or anything, but I would prefer people who were not obviously hypocritical.
You see? This lack of appreciation for art is just one of the reasons I continue to advocate for the burning of the Countess, rather than Barb, although Barb seems to be about to have an "interlude" from the interrogation procedures.
Good souls, yes. I know Lord Wragg, you know, and we've been looking for this soul of his. It will show up at some point, I'm sure. It's been astray now for some time, it seems. I'd look under the fridge, myself.
This Vicar gets around as well, it seems. The Rev Praetorio (old Welsh name, no doubt - from Shakespeare, I would think. He's always calling Englishmen and Danes things like Horatio, Bassanio, Polonius and such) takes a deep personal interest in his flock, or perhaps it's more accurate to say he ensures that the female members of his parish take a deep personal interest in him. Corrupting a member of the clergy might be an offence - the Countess might be in trouble yet.
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Can't confirm, but it sounds like his kind of thing. We are, therefore, in his debt. Mind you, it was not him that gave the word it's current popularity.
As a founder member of Geeks Anonymous rather than Tumescence Anonymous I can reveal that the first user of the term on the Forums was one of our now-missing members (
) Shevak,but it wasn't until about 2014 that the rest of us picked up on it.
It was then t-this and t-that for ages until I remember saying somewhere 'don't get me wrong, lovely word, but don't let's overuse it.'
Fat lot of good that did. If you type 'tumescent' into the search box you'll get pages and pages of results!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
For the few interested in words and trying to brush up on their Latin, the original is the Latin verb tumeo, tumere. It is an intransitive verb (it doesn't act on an object) and has no passive. It means to be swollen, turgid, distended, puffed out, or inflated, to swell. It leads to the verb tumesco, to be swelled up, whose third-person plural future active indicative form, tumescent, gave birth to the English word, which generally (outside of CF and certain porno writing) is, if anything, underused.As a founder member of Geeks Anonymous rather than Tumescence Anonymous I can reveal that the first user of the term on the Forums was one of our now-missing members (
but it wasn't until about 2014 that the rest of us picked up on it.
It was then t-this and t-that for ages until I remember saying somewhere 'don't get me wrong, lovely word, but don't let's overuse it.'
Fat lot of good that did. If you type 'tumescent' into the search box you'll get pages and pages of results!
ledoux
Governor
Wow! I think I was completely confused! Not that that is an uncommon event.As a founder member of Geeks Anonymous rather than Tumescence Anonymous I can reveal that the first user of the term on the Forums was one of our now-missing members (
So, now I think Barb was referring to the term(s) tumescence/tumescent, not the term Tumescence Anonymous. So, I believe I've been cleared of plagiarism.
Can't be really sure though as Barb is off doing something ridiculous like working.Meanwhile Barb, while Shevak may have introduced the T term, is there an abundance of evidence (like there is for some people) that he was a serial abuser?
M
montycrusto
Guest
All fora have their own unique linguistic flora and fauna.
M
montycrusto
Guest
By the candle-light’s roseate flicker,
She commanded the witch-girl to lick her,
While her own French maid
With Barb’s ladyparts played,
What a sight to welcome the vicar.
She commanded the witch-girl to lick her,
While her own French maid
With Barb’s ladyparts played,
What a sight to welcome the vicar.
The town Vicar will soon be here
I suspect I’ve something to fear
Whether it be whipping
Or a good harsh caning
He’ll surely thrash my tight little rear
twonines
LIMERICUS
PrPr is a very pragmatic vicar,
See a witch, he just has to prick her.
If no mark he can find,
He`ll flog her behind,
Or do something that`s even sicker.
Jackie1111
Tribune
Sweet shoes Barb!
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NewUser
Magistrate
I must have had a sunstroke today. so I apologize in advance.
Barb and the Train
The train was late, and Barb was bored. It was unbearably hot and she was very thirsty. Walking along the platform, she noticed a small shop. Without hesitation, she went inside.
Behind the counter was an elderly, but still fit 44-year-old owner of the store. The difficulties caused by the virus pandemic forced him to lay off the rest of his staff.
Hating the situation, he muttered to himself, " It's all because of the damn people who don't wear masks. They spread the infection, only think about themselves. I kick them out of my store right away. I will never service them!"
Lost in his own thoughts, he did not immediately pay attention to the ringing of the bell.
"Good afternoon, Is it okay that I'm not wearing a mask?" Barb asked.
"Of course, you have such beautiful shoes," the shop owner replied, not taking his eyes off this adorable pair.
A bottle of riesling is all I need to be happy. Barb's gaze scanned the store's shelves.
Taking 2 bottles, she went to the cash register. Then a shelf of books caught her attention. The books were arranged in alphabetical order, and on the first shelf closest to the others was Lev Tolstov's Anna Karenina.
The train wasn't coming soon, and there was absolutely nothing to do.
"How much do I owe you?"
"$150, but I see you don't have your wallet with you. You will bring it as soon as you can!" the shop
owner replied mesmerized, looking at her shoes(of course) with fascination.
Barb didn't notice that one of the bottles was empty.
The book was depressing. A picture of the manner and life of the noble environment of St. Petersburg and Moscow in the second half of the XIX century, combining philosophical reflections with psychological sketches, as well as scenes from the life of peasants.
Now the bottom of the second bottle appeared.
Barb was already sobbing with emotion. Unable to read any further, she moved on to the end of the novel...
at this time, the light of an approaching train flashed in the distance.
Staggering, she took an awkward step forward...
FIN
M
montycrusto
Guest
Barb getting ideas above her station again..,,
A lovely story, NewUser. Thank you for writing it and focusing on my shoes rather than my …. Geez! … what did you put in that wine … I think I’m about to lose it and do something I’ll regret later!
NewUser
Magistrate
What else can I focus on?
I can't see anything else in the picture except them.
twonines
LIMERICUS
It`s odd how relaxed Barb feels,
Wearing only her six inch heels.
It is very strange,
A definite change,
From her tight little covered in wheals.
9.
“Oh, do show the good Vicar up at once, Mister @Apostate instructed the Countess @Wragg, with a reproachful tone that conveyed the level of her annoyance with the butler. “Had you spent less time peeking through the keyhole rather than attending to the good Vicar’s comfort, he’d hardly have become impatient now, would he have?”
“Well, it was young @Kathy ’s afternoon off. What was I to do?” grumbled the Butler defensively.
“Surely, Apostate, you could have thought of something? You might have gone and fetched her anyway, or at the very least found someone else on the staff for the Vicar to cane!”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Shall I fetch the Vicar @Praefectus Praetorio now?”
“Of course. Bring him here to my boudoir, and fetch Kathy too!”
“At once, your Ladyship.”
Turning to @messaline and me, the Countess quickly explained with a sly wink that the Vicar came around every afternoon for tea and special entertainment. I gathered that the sly wink had to do with the special entertainments part. And this was the woman who denounced me before the town magistrates for consorting with the Devil?
“Messaline, my dear, please put something on and go downstairs and ask them to prepare tea and cakes for four.”
“Oui, Madame.”
“That all sounds very nice, but I really must be going,” I announced gaily in the hope that I might get away with it.”
“Not so fast, Miss Moore. You’re headed for the gaol to await your execution at tomorrow’s witch burning, or have you forgotten?”
“No, your Ladyship, I hadn’t but I was hoping you might have.”
“Messaline, dear, while you’re downstairs please send back up here those two men who brought Miss Moore to us. Inform them she needs to be restrained again.”
“Oui, Madame, messieurs @Loxuru et @Harsh Martinet, je crois.”
In a desperate bid for freedom I took that moment to bolt for the door … only to find it locked.
“Oh Shit!” I said.
“Tsk Tsk,” chastised the Countess. “Such bad manners, Miss Moore! Now the Vicar and I will have to have you punished … along with that worthless maid servant, Kathy, who ought to have known better than to take an afternoon off when the good Vicar is expected.”
“Punished? I’ve already been tortured under interrogation and condemned to be burned alive! Isn’t that enough for one day? No fair!”
Totally ignoring my indignant outburst, the Countess announced brightly, “Ahh, here is Messaline with the tea and cakes, and the Vicar, along with Loxoru and Martinet too. And Apostate has located Kathy as well. Splendid, splendid! It’s so very good to see you Vicar. It was most gracious of you to come for a visit, and my apologies for keeping you waiting. Do join us now for refreshments followed by some jolly good entertainments.”
“Thank you, Countess,” replied the Vicar, executing a stiff courtly bow. “I’d be delighted, and am very much looking forward to the … ahem … entertainments. I see we have Kathy, the naughty maid servant to punish, and … my word! … can it be true? … the recently confessed witch and former barmaid slut, Miss Moore, as well!”
“Yes, yes, all in good time. Now Messaline, my dear, would you be so kind as to please serve the tea and cakes.”
“Oui, Madame.”
“And Loxoru and Martinet, would you please escort Kathy and Miss Moore to the cellar and prepare them for a good caning? You’ll find that Lord Wragg, being a firm believer in staff discipline here at Cruxton Abbey, keeps a well equipped punishment room down there. You’ll find whatever you require to restrain the two wenches in an appropriately exposed to receive whatever the good Vicar believes they have coming to them. I leave the details to your professionalism. Mister Apostate will show you the way and assist in any way you may require.”
At which point, the Vicar leaned conspiratorially toward the Countess to whisper something in her ear.
She looked surprised at first, but then beamed with appreciative understanding and obvious anticipation before exclaiming, “Why yes, what an exciting suggestion!”
The Vicar beamed and accepted a cup of tea and a small cake from Messaline, but not without undertaking an appreciative scrutiny of her tantalizingly exposed charms as she leaned forward to serve him.
“Messaline, my dear, when you’ve finished serving, you may accompany the others to the cellar too. The Vicar has suggested to me that he fancies applying the cane to your posterior as well.”
“Oui, Madame, but why?”
“Because you’re French and, as everyone knows, the French are nearly always very naughty, n'est-ce pas?” answered the Vicar with a condescendingly superior smile.
She said nothing in reply, but regarded him openly with sullen disdain.
“Come to think of it,” mused the Countess thoughtfully, “I can’t help but think that every time Messaline says, ‘Oui, Madame’, there is a quite palpable note of contempt in the way she says it. It never occurred to me before but perhaps she is a witch too?”
“Anything and everything is indeed possible,” agreed the Vicar, “She is, after all, French.”
“And, perhaps Kathy is a witch as well? She is nearly as much trouble as Miss Moore was when she was in service here. And come to think of it, I have noticed his Lordship eyeing her in much the same way that I recall seeing him eye Miss Moore. Surely that suggests the work of the Devil at play?”
“Then, we can only conclude that all three of them must be witches!” exclaimed the Vicar, displaying a look of profound discovery and distaste.
“Well, why stop at caning them then? We can interrogate them as well,” interjected Loxoru helpfully.
“Yes, would his Lordship possibly have a wooden horse on hand down in that cellar punishment room?” enthused Harsh Martinet.
“Shall we pray,” the Vicar said, bowing his head reverently.
TBC
“Oh, do show the good Vicar up at once, Mister @Apostate instructed the Countess @Wragg, with a reproachful tone that conveyed the level of her annoyance with the butler. “Had you spent less time peeking through the keyhole rather than attending to the good Vicar’s comfort, he’d hardly have become impatient now, would he have?”
“Well, it was young @Kathy ’s afternoon off. What was I to do?” grumbled the Butler defensively.
“Surely, Apostate, you could have thought of something? You might have gone and fetched her anyway, or at the very least found someone else on the staff for the Vicar to cane!”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Shall I fetch the Vicar @Praefectus Praetorio now?”
“Of course. Bring him here to my boudoir, and fetch Kathy too!”
“At once, your Ladyship.”
Turning to @messaline and me, the Countess quickly explained with a sly wink that the Vicar came around every afternoon for tea and special entertainment. I gathered that the sly wink had to do with the special entertainments part. And this was the woman who denounced me before the town magistrates for consorting with the Devil?
“Messaline, my dear, please put something on and go downstairs and ask them to prepare tea and cakes for four.”
“Oui, Madame.”
“That all sounds very nice, but I really must be going,” I announced gaily in the hope that I might get away with it.”
“Not so fast, Miss Moore. You’re headed for the gaol to await your execution at tomorrow’s witch burning, or have you forgotten?”
“No, your Ladyship, I hadn’t but I was hoping you might have.”
“Messaline, dear, while you’re downstairs please send back up here those two men who brought Miss Moore to us. Inform them she needs to be restrained again.”
“Oui, Madame, messieurs @Loxuru et @Harsh Martinet, je crois.”
In a desperate bid for freedom I took that moment to bolt for the door … only to find it locked.
“Oh Shit!” I said.
“Tsk Tsk,” chastised the Countess. “Such bad manners, Miss Moore! Now the Vicar and I will have to have you punished … along with that worthless maid servant, Kathy, who ought to have known better than to take an afternoon off when the good Vicar is expected.”
“Punished? I’ve already been tortured under interrogation and condemned to be burned alive! Isn’t that enough for one day? No fair!”
Totally ignoring my indignant outburst, the Countess announced brightly, “Ahh, here is Messaline with the tea and cakes, and the Vicar, along with Loxoru and Martinet too. And Apostate has located Kathy as well. Splendid, splendid! It’s so very good to see you Vicar. It was most gracious of you to come for a visit, and my apologies for keeping you waiting. Do join us now for refreshments followed by some jolly good entertainments.”
“Thank you, Countess,” replied the Vicar, executing a stiff courtly bow. “I’d be delighted, and am very much looking forward to the … ahem … entertainments. I see we have Kathy, the naughty maid servant to punish, and … my word! … can it be true? … the recently confessed witch and former barmaid slut, Miss Moore, as well!”
“Yes, yes, all in good time. Now Messaline, my dear, would you be so kind as to please serve the tea and cakes.”
“Oui, Madame.”
“And Loxoru and Martinet, would you please escort Kathy and Miss Moore to the cellar and prepare them for a good caning? You’ll find that Lord Wragg, being a firm believer in staff discipline here at Cruxton Abbey, keeps a well equipped punishment room down there. You’ll find whatever you require to restrain the two wenches in an appropriately exposed to receive whatever the good Vicar believes they have coming to them. I leave the details to your professionalism. Mister Apostate will show you the way and assist in any way you may require.”
At which point, the Vicar leaned conspiratorially toward the Countess to whisper something in her ear.
She looked surprised at first, but then beamed with appreciative understanding and obvious anticipation before exclaiming, “Why yes, what an exciting suggestion!”
The Vicar beamed and accepted a cup of tea and a small cake from Messaline, but not without undertaking an appreciative scrutiny of her tantalizingly exposed charms as she leaned forward to serve him.
“Messaline, my dear, when you’ve finished serving, you may accompany the others to the cellar too. The Vicar has suggested to me that he fancies applying the cane to your posterior as well.”
“Oui, Madame, but why?”
“Because you’re French and, as everyone knows, the French are nearly always very naughty, n'est-ce pas?” answered the Vicar with a condescendingly superior smile.
She said nothing in reply, but regarded him openly with sullen disdain.
“Come to think of it,” mused the Countess thoughtfully, “I can’t help but think that every time Messaline says, ‘Oui, Madame’, there is a quite palpable note of contempt in the way she says it. It never occurred to me before but perhaps she is a witch too?”
“Anything and everything is indeed possible,” agreed the Vicar, “She is, after all, French.”
“And, perhaps Kathy is a witch as well? She is nearly as much trouble as Miss Moore was when she was in service here. And come to think of it, I have noticed his Lordship eyeing her in much the same way that I recall seeing him eye Miss Moore. Surely that suggests the work of the Devil at play?”
“Then, we can only conclude that all three of them must be witches!” exclaimed the Vicar, displaying a look of profound discovery and distaste.
“Well, why stop at caning them then? We can interrogate them as well,” interjected Loxoru helpfully.
“Yes, would his Lordship possibly have a wooden horse on hand down in that cellar punishment room?” enthused Harsh Martinet.
“Shall we pray,” the Vicar said, bowing his head reverently.
TBC
Fossy
SEXPIOGENTUS
"... I see we have Kathy, the naughty maid servant to punish, and … my word! … can it be true? … the recently confessed witch and former barmaid slut, Miss Moore, as well! ...” - The perfect Vicar's day out!
“... Because you’re French ..." - Punished just for being French! Mon Dieu comme c'est très érotique ...
“... Then, we can only conclude that all three of them must be witches! ...” - I think I can safely say that we would have all reached the same, very logical, conclusion!