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Crucifixion And You: How Did The Idea Start?

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I got my kink simply through BDSM tendency, when I noticed arousal from watching certain types of scenes - first in movies, then in BDSM clubs in Europe which I frequented as young chap who wanted to get in touch with likeminded folks.
I quickly used the (young!) internet to get in touch with likeminded folks and soon found a crux-playing couple through a newsgroup (yes... long forgotten part of the internet...), bought a flight ticket to Texas and had my first crux play with a couple during their Thanksgiving holidays; the wife and I were made to suffer on crosses in her husband's abandoned garden (and he had been enthusiastic enough to get some old looking wooden logs for crosses - I never had such again in my life).

Thereafter I re-enacted crux plays with my girl-friend from Hamburg on various BDSM events and in her girl-friend's large SM studio that we could use privately on occasions. When meeting with other kinsters on BDSM events/bondage/needling etc. seminars, some of them showed interest in crux play and so we pushed each other deeper into that kink. Those crux scenarios were in more or less populated situations, so there used to be some folks/friends watching or doing other SM play in parallel (while, of course, I also did other play like hook suspension and other the more theatralic stuff like water boarding and weekend-prison/torture plays with my friends and acquaintances; e.g. in Schwelle 7 in Vienna).

I met with a great Spanish couple through cruxforums, did not hesitate to travel and meet them of course - and learned about a different type of crux play: inside a dark room at night (one of the face to face crux sessions is shown in my profile photo) - so I got more into the psychological aspect of prolonged suffering with no idea for time and learned what it means to "surrender" to go through such thing (and enjoy it). That actually brought me to the actual kink - with all aspects which I believe make up a crucifixion.
I just had a skype call with a girl from Manila last night (she liked my gallery on Fetlife which contains some of my face to face crux scenes); not surprisingly, as a masochist she has the same feeling about crux play but "only" experienced prolonged (and very stressful) suspension bondage so far. So, I (we) might try another type of crux play soon: hanging instead of straddling painful seats, which is what I got used to, as I am going to travel and see one of my former work places (the best Mangos from Guimaras + crux play - what else can you want?)...

Consequently, my crux kink has developed/is still developing over time due to meeting people with same interest but practicing crux sessions with some variations... I guess that's how our lives are anyway.
 
geolier said:
Coool.
Seven - that is early. And nudity! Do you think a crucified person HAS to be naked? When - do you think - came a sort of erotiscism into your fantasies?
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Yes! I think, a crucified person should always be naked. That started allready when I was a child. (I also loved to go in the woods an strip naked and run naked through the nature. But it wasn`t erotic in those old days.) Erotic thinking started when I came in puberty.
 
My interest in crucifixion began at a very young age. I remember gazing at pictures/illustrations/paintings of the Crucifixion and feeling very aroused sexually. I was intrigued by the different crucifixes in our home and the homes of my Catholic friends as well.

At night, I would lay on top of the blankets on my bed in my white briefs, imagining that I was crucified; arms stretched out and slipping my wrists through the mattress/headboard frame, legs slightly bent, my young mind racing as I imagined myself being crucified in front of my friends.

I decided to do away with wearing my white briefs, and started experimenting with different methods of wrapping my small, thin frame in a loincloth. I would stand in front of my mirror with my arms outstretched and look at my ribs sticking out and my stomach muscles contracting as I breathed heavily. The bathroom was also a good place for my "crucifixions" as I could hang on to the shower curtain bar and watch myself in the mirror directly across from me.

In my early/mid-teens I started to experiment more with ropes and posts. There was a large, wooded area behind our house and I spent a lot of time in the summer erecting a "real" cross by lashing two pieces of wood together as well as putting my skills as a young Boy Scout to work with fashioning ropes that I could slide my arms/wrists through in order to actually "hang" on my cross.

At CYO Camp, we did our own version of a Passion Play and for one of the performances I got to play the role of Jesus. During the performance a few of the others got a bit rough with me physically, but I actually enjoyed it! I remember being "whipped" while tied to a post and struggling to hide my erection underneath my loincloth. During the actual crucifixion when I was hoisted and tied to the cross one of my friends noticed the bulge in my loincloth and smiled. At the time, my fear was that my loincloth would fall off during my performance. Afterwards I remember going back to my cabin, laying on my bunk bed still wearing nothing but my loincloth and having a slow, very intense masturbation session and experiencing an orgasm like no other.

It was during these early, outdoor crucifixions that I noticed my loincloth would hardly ever stay on. The movements of my body would eventually cause my loincloth to become loose and fall to the ground, so eventually I went with full nude crucifixions. I was beginning to experience more "stimulation" too. My cock was already very sensitive to the soft fabric of my loincloth rubbing against it, but I found that whenever I was fully nude my cock would be extremely hard and throb as I moved on the cross. It became easy for me to actually force myself to have an orgasm and by now I was producing thick, heavy streams of white liquid.

By the time I was in high school (and later college) my interest in crucifixion and the sexual arousal I got was still very strong, but I was also heavily involved in swimming and other sports, so I had little time to explore my fantasies as I did when I was younger.

Over the years of my adult life, I've spent some time "on the wood" but have never been able to really fully experience crucifixion in a group setting. While I am still physically in fairly decent shape and have managed to keep a slim physique, my stamina to spend an extended time on a cross is probably much lower than when I was younger and more physically fit.

A few of my fantasies have been to be crucified in front of a group and have my loincloth ripped away to expose my entire body. I'd love to be "stimulated" by some of the onlookers. Seeing videos of some of those wonderful Dream Boy Bondage lads experiencing crucifixion is very stimulating. I can honestly say that if I was about 40 years younger I'd be gladly volunteering to be featured in some of those videos.
 
My Catholic religious upbringing gave me my start. It was my first introduction to an “almost nude man” in bondage. My church had a beautiful crucifix and my house had a crucifix in just about every room. The crucifix in my church was quite large and left very little to the imagination for a young girl. The loincloth was positioned perfectly to provide just enough modesty to cover the genitals but not that much more. We were taught the whole process of crucifixion at a very young age. In my school, the nuns went into great detail describing the process to us, including the nudity and humiliation aspects of crucifixion.


I would look forward to Holy week and Good Friday because we were always taught the stations of the cross. The nuns would detail how Jesus was stripped naked and whipped for the crucifixion and I remember, even at a very young age, how excited I would get. I remember one of the nuns would really get into it with us.


As I reached puberty, crucifixion became very erotic for me and I would take my place on the cross in some fantasies and my place in the crowd in others. I remember whenever I knew my parents were going to be out of the house for a while. I would take off all of my clothes and make a loincloth out of old rags that my mother used for dusting and go to the attic and hang from one of the rafters, pretending to be crucified.
 
Loxuru said:
And so I woke up next morning, and discovered ::roto2cafe:
"Damn, I posted the link in the other thread itself!?":doh::doh::facepalm::roto2palm:
But then, it became clear that the mods have merged both threads.:chupi:
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Don’t feel bad. We’ve all done the wrong thread postings thing at some time or another. The good news is that the mods are always on top of things;)
 
Sassi said:
Yes! I think, a crucified person should always be naked. That started allready when I was a child. (I also loved to go in the woods an strip naked and run naked through the nature. But it wasn`t erotic in those old days.) Erotic thinking started when I came in puberty.
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Yes - I agree: ... always be naked.

Have you ever experienced hanging naked at a cross in the presence of (a crowd of) spectators. Even perhaps other women, indulging your situation, humiliating you by remarks about your body?

By the way, I would really appreciate to see you naked at a cross, and after all, Trier is not too far away :)
 
Sassi said:
I never experienced a real crucifixion - only selfcrucifixion. Using leather cuffs an hang them in nails or metal hooks on wooden constructions at the attic room. Feels really good but it is noch really crucifixion.
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It's good to have an attic. But it's better a location outdoor ... save from onlookers. Not easy in a populous area.
 
When you live alone you possess more freedom. But always careful to protect your sanity!
Accidents were to slip and force the shoulder joint with a pain for 3 months.
Otherwise the blood circulation blocked with a numbness in your hand many weeks.

But all, do not disturb your fantasy, always thinking how it can better till your last breath...
 
Sassi said:
Yes! I think, a crucified person should always be naked. That started allready when I was a child. (I also loved to go in the woods an strip naked and run naked through the nature. But it wasn`t erotic in those old days.) Erotic thinking started when I came in puberty.
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Wouldn't you like to be seen by spectators when hanging naked at your cross?
 
Great reads in here
I got into this years ago - as a teenage boy - being light and quite strong I found it hard to get anything from it
Now at 100kG - I self crux in the garage with a beam tied to a ladder and bolts to hang cuffs on
Dangling hurts
Real bent legs makes you suffer
But I'd love to find a partner to do it with someone to stop me getting down just as the fun starts
 
It is really good to find that so many other people share this fascination with crucifixion.
I have fantasised about crucifixion since I was a child.
I was not brought up a catholic, but when young, maybe 7 years old, I was given a little book of Stations of the Cross. My avatar is one of the illustrations from that book, so it's still in my head! The front cover had a picture of Crucifixion painting by Guido Reni which I found more arousing than the picture inside of the raised cross (12th station).
This is my first memory of the crux kink, but I must have been interested in the story before, as I think I recall a thrill at being given the book because it showed more of something I was already starting to get into.
Ever since I have found the whole scenario hugely arousing, from the scourging, through the crowning with thorns, crowds shouting "Crucify him!," then carrying the cross among those crowds, to finally being stripped, nailed to the cross and exposed in front of them.
In years gone by I would never have dreamed of admitting to being aroused by either the story or the art of the crucifixion. Only now do I find myself in like minded company.
 
Sassi said:
I never experienced a real crucifixion - only selfcrucifixion. Using leather cuffs an hang them in nails or metal hooks on wooden constructions at the attic room. Feels really good but it is noch really crucifixion.
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Your body has been lusting for a long time to be nailed and raised totally nude for all to see Sassi! But first you would first be forcibly stripped totally nude by your executioners....who would then anally rape your lustful ass....at least four...deep hard anal...for at least an hour ..rotating around your nude body, taking turns...as you take ass to mouth from all....making sure none of them cum early and you keep all of the fully erect the entire time ....an executioner will be standing by to scourge your body and your ass if you fail Sassi....then finally, your ass will be filled with the strong heavy cumshots that your body lusts for...the huge erect cocks cumming hard deep inside you....filling your luscious ass .....you will now lust for your scourging....forcibly taken and raised up on your tip toes with the hoist...legs spread wide with the leg spreader secured to the cround....100 stripes front and 100 stripes on your ass and back...with an instrument that leaves those beautiful stripes your body lusts for.... both front and back not neglecting your pussy, ass and erect nipples leaving the beautiful stripes on your body that it lustsfor....by now, you will be so ready.....lusting for your nailing....forcibly taken and your ass mouted on the comus on the cross...for deep anal pleasures as you dance on the cross....Your nipples fully erect and pussy and ass soaking wet as you are nailed....wrists first...nailed securely so there is no escape...then your knees bent to dance the dance of lust and your feet are nailed to the sides of the cross throught the second and third toe....ensuring the comus pushes your ass and pussy forward...spread wide for the crowd to enjoy your many orgasms....and to come forward and enjoy...the cross is raised and set.. your body jolted with pleasure as it falls into the hole...you will now begin your dance of lust Sassi...pushing up on your nailed feet to catch your breath....nipples fully erect showing your bodys excitement...up and down enjoying the deep anal pleasures of riding the comus which is set deeply in your ass......Your Nipples fully erect and your shaved Pussy and Ass soaking wet with your luscious juices it ... Your Ass will be thrusting and excited ...Your fully shaved Pussy and Ass cumming very hard Sassi as you experience all the pleasures of the cross!...raised and totally nude and nailed for all to see.....there is no escape.....dancing the dance of lust for all to see and lust after!... and your dance being so lustful....will certainly cause the onlookers to all strip nude and a huge (anal and oral only) orgy will begin with frequent ass to mouth. Huge fully erect cocks... and female slaves mouths and asses eager to take them...two females sharing one huge cock....lusting to take ass to mouth from the other female slaves luscious and eager ass ........Many will come up to your nailed body Sassi...men.... and excited and lusful women to massage your pussy and ass and pinch her erect nipples as you dance..the men with huge fully erect cocks will ejaculate strong heavy cumshots on your nude and nailed body as you dance...lustful women will be straining to get up high enough to taste your luscious pussy and luscious ass as you dances...not wasting a drop of your luscious pussy and ass juices... as they all watch you experiencing your pleasures and many intense orgasms nailed totally nude and dancing the dance of lust on the cross for all to see!

http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/attachments/08elainewhip04-gif.558065/
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After spending a fun afternoon reading through many other people's stories of how their kink arose and developed it is amazing how many things pop up that have figured in my own mind too. I can't discuss them all or this would be a ridiculously long post, but here are a few:
Not a catholic, so no huge crucifix in our local church, but a small book of Stations of the Cross which, in turn led me (like others) to look at the crucifixion pictures in every children's bible or book I could find.
StationCross2.jpgStationCross3.jpg
That little book of pictures pretty much set the style in which I have fantasized about the cross ever since. They show a sanitised depiction of crucifixion that fits with my fantasies, which have never been about pain or death (I always want to do it all again tomorrow!), but probably more about exposure and humiliation.
So there I was, from around the age of seven right into my teens, waiting until the house was empty to walk around wearing a bed-sheet as a robe and carrying a plank as a cross. I would whip myself on the back with a belt and quite liked to see red marks as they showed that I had been correctly prepared for the cross, but I never took on board the bloody horror which I later discovered was a true scourging. Like many others I took my fantasy play outside too, and went into the woods where I could tie two fallen branches together to make a cross to carry. Once again those pictures fixed it in my imagination - my fantasy always has a full cross to carry, not just the patibulum. Some thin thorny branches fastened together with string made crowns of thorns. In the woods I would be naked apart from a loincloth and the bed-sheet robe, but in the summer, when the weather made it sensible, I would walk through the public park clothed but barefoot feeling the dirt and gravel beneath my feet and imagining that I was carrying my cross through that crowded public place. The most thrilling times with this aspect of my young crux-play were the occasions when I was brave enough to go deep into a copse, heavy with undergrowth, in the public park, strip and whip myself, dress in the robe and crown of thorns and then creep carefully to the edge of the bushes to check that nobody was about before emerging to stagger briefly down the path, as if carrying my heavy cross. The danger of really being seen added a great thrill to this solo enactment of the via crucis.
At home I graduated from standing in front of a mirror in all the poses of the crucifixion story
StationCross10.jpgStationCross11.jpgStationCross12.jpg
to those experiments so many of us did, with various methods of tying ropes or cloth straps so that I could slip my wrists in and out. I could then fasten myself either to the roof beams in the garage, or to a strong wooden frame that was left from an old workbench or table top. Using this I could even tie ropes around each ankle (all padded) and pass this around the central bars of the frame to achieve full wrists and ankles suspension. What I had in my imagination, and really still do, was this:
CrucifixionReni.jpg
All of this fantasising and acting out of the story began well before puberty and I can't say exactly when it became a truly sexual fantasy, though I always imagined girls were watching my suffering, but it was while hanging on that frame in one of my young self-crux sessions that I felt my body not just stretched, exposed and vulnerable, but wracked with amazing new sensations as waves of white fluid shot from my penis and down my legs. My first orgasm was on the cross.
 
It feels very good to read all these thoughts and stories here. Almost a bit like arriving. It is a wonderful thread.

Many feelings I can like, like the ones of chris_o, BondageBoy and Sassi
Getting aroused by crucifixion and BDSM like paintings and drawings during puberty, bisexual fantasies about the men hanging on the crosses on these images, the erotic sensation of being naked in a forest, self-bondage to trees, being stripped or strip in front of others in the forest, fantasies of being tortured in front of others. Crucifixion combines all this in one beautiful and archaic ritual. And it’s still a taboo in society, also after Shades of Gray and such nonsense. This makes it even more interesting.
The ultimate kick came when I confessed this as a student to a very liberal pastor of our student’s dormitory to whom I had a special relationship. He was gay in a very unobtrusive way and somehow I had the feeling that I could talk to him about my fantasies. To my very surprise he invited me to a kind of sophisticated BDSM evening with a group of 40+/50+ people ( I was around 20 at this time). I was so stunned, I expected him to tell me ways to forget my fantasies but actually he very elegantly supported them. I was their “highlight” at this orgy and they crucified me in a very professional way and did all sort of things with me. I remember him coming two or three times to me and saying “enjoy it, try it, if you don’t want any more: one word and you are free”.
I took the whip, I took the cross and I took the first cock in my life anal.

Unfortunately somebody denounced him some months later, quite a scandal in the 80’s, and I was just happy that my name was never mentioned.

Since them I am looking for similar adventures. St. Andrew crosses and some games with an old (girl)friend have been the max since then. Would love to experience more again.
 
It's unbelievable what you can find when you dive deep into the archives. It's really fun to surf the old posts everywhere. So this thread in which the users describe how they found their way crucifixion. Very interesting!
I was surprised that this particular kink came up with most of them in early childhood. It was not the case with me. It started in puberty. At first, when I was 13, I suddenly had a lot of bondage fantasies. I found it totally exciting to imagine myself being bound or chained in all sorts of ways. Over time, ideas of punishments were added: beatings with a stick or leather strap or even with a whip. And then suspension! I liked that very much.
Then, shortly before my 14th birthday at Easter, I saw a documentary about crucifixions. You saw a man with outstretched arms almost naked on the cross. He was sweating and moaning and panting and clearly suffering. That turned me on. It started to tingle between my legs, I was so aroused.
Then at night I dreamed of being crucified myself. It was kind of a fantasy land. It was like around 1850 there and the crucifixion took place in a town on the market square. In the dream I was led stark naked across the market square to the cross. There were many people standing there and they watched curiously as I was forced down onto the cross and nailed to my hands and feet. I groaned and let out little screams. Then they erected the cross and I hung naked on the beam over the heads of the pack. It felt crazy. I felt the tension in my outspread arms. I felt the nails in my feet and wrists. I felt the wood of the cross on my back and shoulders and I felt the eyes of the audience on my bare skin. I was ashamed because I was hanging naked on the cross in front of these greedy-looking people. I couldn't hide. I was helplessly exposed to the gaze of the audience. And it dit hurt. In the dream I could actually feel the pain the crucifixion inflicted on me. It was horrible and beautiful at the same time. I knew I wasn't going to die. I had been sentenced to six hours on the cross and after that I would be healed in a temple (in fantasy countries this is possible).
After waking up, I couldn't get the dream out of my head. For the first time in my life I was interested in a crucifixion. I started to keep thinking up new stories about how I was crucified. At first I mainly fantasized about bondage, that is, crucified with ropes. Then later came the nailing. Getting nailed fascinated me in a strangely descriptive way.
I was afraid of getting nailed. I was afraid of the pain and at the same time it aroused me to a great extent to have to endure this unimaginable torment. Again and again I imagined four men (or tall, strong women) forcing me naked down to the cross and holding me, while a fifth person nailed my hands and feet. Then the ascent with the cross, the pain that takes your breath away, the agony of the crucifixion that lasted for hours. Sometimes
I also imagined watching a crucifixion. Most of the time someone was crucified who lived in my personal environment. But usually I was always the victim and it has remained so to this day.
For a while, on family outings, I looked at all the crucifixes we passed on our tours. But at some point my mother started to scoff. She said things like: “Leonie is standing in front of a crucifix again and looks devoutly! We should buy her a nun's costume for Christmas so that it will look even more realistic when she worships the Lord Jesus.“
Only then did I realize that my people had noticed that I was staring at crosses and I quickly stopped to do so. From then on I only looked at crucifixes in secret, especially on the Internet. There was no way I wanted anyone in my family to figure out all the crazy things I was fantasizing about. I've always kept my particular preferences as a secret.
 
These answers are so interesting. Unlike most of you, I didnt feel anything about crux until I found this web site. I have been into BDSM for a long time and have enjoyed the thrill, embarrasment , sexual turn on of being naked in front of people.. I do find any form of torture stimulating to watch and some of it to experience on myself. I just guess I am a naughty little girl at heart. Even though I am old , I feel young when restrained and helpless. Just no nails thanks
 
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