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German and Austrian Culture and Words ( to run away but also having fun with it before )

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Silent_Water

Governor
By the way, there is something what I always admired so much in the French system of finding the ideal location for a new nuclear power plant.

When you look at this map of all the French nuclear power plants, you will immediately see, that the French governments always only wanted the best for their international neighbours on their Eastern borders and so, they found the ideal locations for selling the electricity from these locations on the shortest possible way to their neighbours in Belgium, Luxembourg and Germany.

There could be no other explanation for these ideal locations for such a good neighbour, or ... could it be ... ? :eek:;)

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.12_17h30m10s_001a_.jpg
 

specimeat

Guard
By the way, there is something what I always admired so much in the French system of finding the ideal location for a new nuclear power plant.

When you look at this map of all the French nuclear power plants, you will immediately see, that the French governments always only wanted the best for their international neighbours on their Eastern borders and so, they found the ideal locations for selling the electricity from these locations on the shortest possible way to their neighbours in Belgium, Luxembourg and Germany.

There could be no other explanation for these ideal locations for such a good neighbour, or ... could it be ... ? :eek:;)

View attachment 900546
We Spaniards thank... uh... the Pyrenees or something. Yep, it must be the Pyrenees. :p
 

Silent_Water

Governor
I agree that the Pyrenees could be the only reason to have stopped France from selling their electricity on the shortest possible ways to the Spanish consumers.
But looking for many other possible explanations for all our traditional good relations between our neighbours in Europe and somewhere else, I stumbled over "hilarious maps" on the internet, which are sometimes really funny. (If interested, you will find the links under every map, I think.)
Being a good European citizen from Germany, I certainly distance myself as far as possible from every content in the following pictures which might be regarded as "evil", "sadistic", "devilish", "superfluous", "stereotyping" or even "racist", but sometimes it is simply funny to be "evil", "sadistic", etc., etc. pp.
:smilie-devil:;)

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h34m11s_001_.jpg ... and because we mentioned Luxembourg here several times before, it is always nice to see how the rather rich "Luxemburgers" probably see their neighbours:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h08m01s_011_.jpg ... or how the Italians probably look at the meals of European and other neighbours:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h25m07s_021_.jpg

And certainly how the Germans see the world:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h04m44s_009_.jpg (Short evil explanation: The coasts of Western Europe are "our bathing resorts", Switzerland our bank, Eastern Europe is where our taxes disappear and Russia is the country with beautiful women married to ugly Russian billionnaires, etc.)

But we are certainly also very interested how our friends and neighbours in Europe, or in the USA look at us - or we Europeans look at them:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h07m25s_010_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h38m45s_023_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h08m47s_012_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h11m07s_014_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h11m40s_015_.jpg

OK, but Russia is a very special case for almost all other Europeans:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h12m40s_016_.jpg
 

Silent_Water

Governor
You are VERY welcome!

Mhm, I cannot really explain but I looked at some pictures in other threads here and this idea of having some fun in "evil" or "sadistic" behaviour then suddenly came across my mind without a real intention. :bdsm-wink:
Sometimes, you can find this idea even in some former famous TV shows in a "Mission Impossible" - style:


But I must admit, I sometimes like very much the idea of (mis-)using national stereotypes and political prejudices in maps and I additionally found these ones - I am afraid - which might be really "evil" but I still enjoyed them. I am sooo sorry for that and I will certainly try to punish myself for such evil feelings.

:span1:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h09m54s_013_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h16m46s_019_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h53m27s_007_Chrome Legacy Window.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h51m20s_006_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h43m04s_002_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h44m28s_003_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h45m46s_004_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_05h47m43s_005_.jpg

and these two were interesting because they are not really satirical but still surprising for me:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h18m57s_020_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.13_06h13m57s_017_.jpg
 

specimeat

Guard
Certainly SUPER interesting. i have downloaded them for me too!!!

As a proud Balearic brat, i take exception at this one. We're no "Balearic Germany-ni-ni-ni" anymore. We're already das Land Balearin-Alikanten! :D

Hey! This was done or copied here too and we young people protested!!! We burned Twitter to the ground or something! :p If not explained before, do you know how to start a car with a crank without breaking your arm or what??? Or how to use a kerosene lamp??? We don't have any reason to know how to use a rotary dial because they no longer existed when we were born and you can't even connect one to a modern standard jack without doing a bit of electronics, so it might be curious but totally useless knowledge:
(in Spanish but you'll get the idea)

Further, the disk phone is not intuitive at all. Documentaries were needed to explain people how to use them: !
(in English)

So, those of us who have been born in this century and millennium don't have any more reasons to know how a disk telephone works than you had to learn how to ride a horse and buggy!!! :D
Mhm, I cannot really explain but I looked at some pictures in other threads here and this idea of having some fun in "evil" or "sadistic" behaviour then suddenly came across my mind without a real intention. (...) I am sooo sorry for that and I will certainly try to punish myself for such evil feelings.
Sure we deserve it. Hard. Pleaaaase. :p
 

Silent_Water

Governor
As a proud Balearic brat, i take exception at this one. We're no "Balearic Germany-ni-ni-ni" anymore. We're already das Land Balearin-Alikanten! :D
Do not tell too many of us Germans about your "new" country or how beautiful it is, because they may overflood it with tourists after the Coronavirus and too much Germans in one foreign place turn it sooner into a new German federal state than you might like it. On the other hand, maybe you will like German beer and German "Eisbein mit Sauerkraut"? No, better not, it is rather a meal for colder regions.
;)

Further, the disk phone is not intuitive at all. Documentaries were needed to explain people how to use them: !


So, those of us who have been born in this century and millennium don't have any more reasons to know how a disk telephone works than you had to learn how to ride a horse and buggy!!! :D

Sure we deserve it. Hard. Pleaaaase. :p
OK, but keep in mind: A cell phone like this one might be the most secured cell phone of all because only "the specialists" know how to use it:


... and certainly, I will think of you in my prayers to be punished as I punsish (hicks) punnish myself!

;):span1: :godsdrink0nw:
 

old slave

FELIS RESPICIENS
So, those of us who have been born in this century and millennium don't have any more reasons to know how a disk telephone works than you had to learn how to ride a horse and buggy!!! :D
Us old ones just like to show off what we do know, because we need help from youngsters to do the simplest things (simple to you) like the touch-screen ordering in McDs.

My kids were very impressed when we rented a holiday home with a fire. Several entries in the visitor book read how difficult the fire was to light. Old Slave had a good blaze in 5 min, red heat in 10 min.
 

specimeat

Guard
Us old ones just like to show off what we do know, because we need help from youngsters to do the simplest things (simple to you) like the touch-screen ordering in McDs.

My kids were very impressed when we rented a holiday home with a fire. Several entries in the visitor book read how difficult the fire was to light. Old Slave had a good blaze in 5 min, red heat in 10 min.
Love homes with fireplaces. And i'd sure need that help of yours too!!!
 

Silent_Water

Governor
OK, so my heartiliest welcome in Germany's 17th federal state, my dear brother! The real problem is to find a real German sounding name because "die Balearen" are all the islands of "Islas Baleares" (or do you speak them in Catalan?) as a whole for us. And I am not sure how to add "Alikanten" to it, because if it is more important one way or the other, we would have to say in German "balearische Alikanten" or "alikantische Balearen" and every way I try, it seems to be "unusual".
Hm, probably, we have to find an expert from the German "Duden" - society which is the expert's committee for languages in Germany ...
 

connoisseurs

Senator
Thank you very much! I am really proud to read this.
;)
But because we were just in almost childish jokes. There is one dialogue which can be used to make every German depressive who is thinking of his language as the most sophisticated one in the world:
- Could you imagine a serious German question sounding like a child talk?
- No, certainly not!
- Even not in a German dialect?
- No, certainly not!
- Something with "hamsamsam" or "hattatta"?
- Do you want to insult me?
- HamsamSamstach dat Fussballspiel gesehen? Hatdatda gereechnet?

(Dialect from the German Ruhrgebiet in Northrhine-Westfalia. Correctly written would be:
Haben Sie am Samstag das Fußballspiel gesehen? Hat es da geregnet? Translation: Did you see the soccer game on Saturday? Did it rain?)
Living in the Ruhrgebiet for nearly 65 years, I have to correct you. Nobody would ever say HamsamSamstach. Right is: HamseamSamstach!
And don´t forget that a lot of Germay dialects have nothing common with the German language. Saxon is problably the worst, but not the only one and they are often sounding like meaningless baby-prattling :)
 

dommmu

Magistrate

Silent_Water

Governor
Right, but you should be able to read at least one article for free in one week - or you have a "changer app of IP-/ID-addresses" on your computer.

By the way, some time ago, I was really surprised that a provider in another country on the almost other side of the globe was automatically interrupting one of my streams because they did not believe, that I could have been on my PC in Sydney, San Francisco, Berlin and Bucharest within 2 hours, thinking this would be impossible.

But in fact, it is possible, because I certainly was in the German section of the ISS-space station on my way around the globe, shocked that there was so few love, believe, faith and understanding between the human beings any more!
In any case, I did not hear anything any more from them after my convincing explanation from my temporarily location in Kiev !
I still have to take a smoothing drink after this shocking experience, hicks! :godsdrink0nw:
 

Silent_Water

Governor
I am sorry, but I cannot control myself anymore after I have read this, which was followed by immediate reactions from German and Austrian readers in several newspapers in Germany and Austria:

Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.16_15h06m56s_001_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.16_15h07m58s_002_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.16_15h08m51s_003_.jpg Ashampoo_Snap_2020.09.16_15h12m06s_005_.jpg

I especially liked this Austrian poem about the Austrian forest by a yet unknown Austrian poet:

America first, Austria Förster,
Trees sometimes burst, but in Austria burster!

:roflmao:

The next comment dealt with the dangerous trees in Austria, because an obvious Austrian asks the Germans if they did really never hear of the dangerous Austrian "black powder pine", the "semtex oak" and the "nitro birch". The next one wrote: "Unfortunately not, but it sounds so good in German that they might really exist!"

And the last one wrote: "Yeah, we Austrians are living in our cities in the highest trees and we like to swing from branch to branch very much - but we certainly leave out the most explosive trees because we know them all!"
:meparto:
 

Silent_Water

Governor
Concerning "Tannen" = "pines" in the last posting, I remembered a song with the title "Hohe Tannen weisen die Sterne" (= "High pines showing up to the stars" [?], rather difficult to translate...) from a German singer "Ronny" with a beautiful deep voice which I often heard in my childhood.
"Ronny" sang old songs from sailors, for hikers and from cowboys which were usually sung by men with deep / low (?) voices, e.g. rather sad songs about "something lost", lost loves, lost times, lost homes, but these songs were always somehow beautiful.
Sometimes, he changed the text of a beautiful song, which was a bit misused in German history like "Hohe Tannen", or he made remakes in German of songs from US-Westerns but the effect with his voice was always beautiful, I think.
Examples:




 
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Silent_Water

Governor
Oh, by the way and for finishing the posting before the last one, even "Yahoo"-Germany had some funny examples of the Austrian forest cities about the many "Ewoks" and "Tarzans" there:
 
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