How is Second Life (not) working for you?

[tender suffering]

Back when I found Second Life, I thought it a paradise for me and people like me. Yet, this BDSM paradise somehow failed to manifest.

I played hundreds of general, not sex-related roleplay scenes in SL and many of them were real good. I played a few vanilla sex scenes, some were good. But as for BDSM? No good scenes whatsoever.

Looking at other people in BDSM sims, I see the same pattern: they just stand around doing nothing. Some resort to solo posing. (I'm guilty of it myself because what's a girl to do.) At the very best people play the so-called 'games' - a team of seriously lonely participants uses scripted devices as ordered by the host.

My personal and subjective understanding of the problem is that most kinky people have no motivation to study roleplay and put effort into it. In roleplay you get only as much as you give. All the attempts to do a BDSM scene I saw were limited to oneliners and poseball hopping and seriously, who wants more than ten minutes of this?

Okay, what I wanted to say here... Maybe there is a way for us to use Second Life to our benefit? Because it is old, has persistent financial difficulties and probably will not be around for much longer.

 

[Possum]

Back when I found Second Life, I thought it a paradise for me and people like me. Yet, this BDSM paradise somehow failed to manifest.

I played hundreds of general, not sex-related roleplay scenes in SL and many of them were real good. I played a few vanilla sex scenes, some were good. But as for BDSM? No good scenes whatsoever.

Looking at other people in BDSM sims, I see the same pattern: they just stand around doing nothing. Some resort to solo posing. (I'm guilty of it myself because what's a girl to do.) At the very best people play the so-called 'games' - a team of seriously lonely participants uses scripted devices as ordered by the host.

My personal and subjective understanding of the problem is that most kinky people have no motivation to study roleplay and put effort into it. In roleplay you get only as much as you give. All the attempts to do a BDSM scene I saw were limited to oneliners and poseball hopping and seriously, who wants more than ten minutes of this?

Okay, what I wanted to say here... Maybe there is a way for us to use Second Life to our benefit? Because it is old, has persistent financial difficulties and probably will not be around for much longer.

So true tender. I pull my hair out as owner of Crux Winds trying to get members motivated to participate in role play. I find the main problem is most are subbies and expect someone to hold them by the hand and do everything for them. Not realizing that as a sub, it is the Dom that controls things. I've tried to have designated RP days, set up events , etc. But then we run into the issue of say one or two doms and 10 subs all expecting to be serviced. Another issue is very few subs will switch roles and expect to be the victim at every role play. I put Willow in charge of handling all role play in the group and she has done a super job trying to keep it fair for everyone. So all I can say is we will keep trying to organize more role play scenarios and hopefully we can have some enjoyable ones. A good RP scenario can be very satisfying and stimulating Talk with you soon! Love Possum

 

[Doragon]

So true tender. I pull my hair out as owner of Crux Winds trying to get members motivated to participate in role play. I find the main problem is most are subbies and expect someone to hold them by the hand and do everything for them. Not realizing that as a sub, it is the Dom that controls things. I've tried to have designated RP days, set up events , etc. But then we run into the issue of say one or two doms and 10 subs all expecting to be serviced. Another issue is very few subs will switch roles and expect to be the victim at every role play. I put Willow in charge of handling all role play in the group and she has done a super job trying to keep it fair for everyone. So all I can say is we will keep trying to organize more role play scenarios and hopefully we can have some enjoyable ones. A good RP scenario can be very satisfying and stimulating Talk with you soon! Love Possum

Years ago I used to roleplay a lot in SL. But like Possum said, it's hard to find people who put in the same effort. Too many subs that were expecting to be serviced. And a lot of these women were actually men. Not really a problem for me, but sometimes it's nice if the person's perspective actually matches. Also that a sub is actually a sub and not someone who secretly looks for a reason to switch roles and demand vengeance RP. Which is not what bdsm is about at all. Finally I quit playing there because there were too many people simply wishing to do poses without any storytelling. That's when I decided it's preferrable to write my own stories.

 

[Beate]

My experiences with Second Life are ambivalent. On Crux Winds, in my experiences, most players want to play the sub role and only a few are ready for the Dom part.
I often experience that other spectators don't want to take part in the role play, but want to be crucified directly. they only join in at the end and ask for another place on the cross.

 

[Blue]

Back when I found Second Life, I thought it a paradise for me and people like me. Yet, this BDSM paradise somehow failed to manifest.

I played hundreds of general, not sex-related roleplay scenes in SL and many of them were real good. I played a few vanilla sex scenes, some were good. But as for BDSM? No good scenes whatsoever.

Looking at other people in BDSM sims, I see the same pattern: they just stand around doing nothing. Some resort to solo posing. (I'm guilty of it myself because what's a girl to do.) At the very best people play the so-called 'games' - a team of seriously lonely participants uses scripted devices as ordered by the host.

My personal and subjective understanding of the problem is that most kinky people have no motivation to study roleplay and put effort into it. In roleplay you get only as much as you give. All the attempts to do a BDSM scene I saw were limited to oneliners and poseball hopping and seriously, who wants more than ten minutes of this?

Okay, what I wanted to say here... Maybe there is a way for us to use Second Life to our benefit? Because it is old, has persistent financial difficulties and probably will not be around for much longer.

Hi Onlooker - under the patient tutelage of @willowfall and @Possum I am learning the intricacies of RP in SL as a Dom.

1. Motivation to study and put effort into BDSM RP = yes!
2. Ability to create imaginative scenes and go with the flow = yes to both, at least I think so...
3. Interest in making a RP scene erotic and fun for both = absolutely

Being new to the game (born about a month ago) where I currently have trouble is interacting with the menus of the various apparatus: do I “sit”, “touch”, RC, LC etc... I was trying to whip some guy in the CW prison Saturday and ended up sitting on his head lol! In the process my avatar ended up on the other side of the prison with its head on backwards - I kid you not LOL!!!

If you’re willing to be patient with me you’ll find I am an eager student of most everything, and especially fantasy RP right now. If any of you on this thread are interested in working with me send me a PM here and I’ll reply with my SL id.

Just know that Possum and Willow get my main focus now as they’ve been so generous and patient with me: that, plus they’re both hot-as-fuck

Hope to hear from you!

 

[Zungur]

I did a lot of chat-based role play way back then.
There is always the problem to find other players with an acceptable ability to describe things in acceptable time.
Still, I had lots and lots of really wonderful plays with some most charming and intelligent ladies (see the Jahlilah story on DA and Pixiv, for a recent example).

But then the problem is that there is only so much you can do with two people alone. If you want to expand this the problem of finding the right people (who have time when you have time) is multiplying. That's where it usually ends.

Two of my favourite co-players tried to get me into SL, the logic being that having pictures, you could save a lot of time for describing. But indeed, the visual part turned out to be an excuse for bad describing only. So, bad role-players, who think they can compensate this with moving pictures still are bad role-players.
And for me, personally I found the 'Barbie and Ken' optics of SL so absolutely ridiculous and hilarious that I just couldn't stop laughing, which did not help in BDSM scenes.

 

[messaline]

I rather agree with all what it's saying here ; though, I want to show a problem which, in my opinion, is rather vital concerning the crucifixion ; it exists, for example into the first prison at the enter of the CW'town, some torture'posts which deserve the fact to be known ...
So, I wonder why people are only wishing to be crucified then they could find wonderful RP in suffering there ?
I like to be an amazon, made prisonner by roman soldiers and tortured to reveal where are her friends ...
step to step, along the different tortures, a "negotiation" can be established between the torturer and me an it can be suffiscient for a good RP ...
In fact, I'm tired by the crucifixion, unique means to get a RP : it's not very inventive ...
In first, if you want to get a good RP, set up your own character and tell to your torturer what you want to share with him ...
So, you could play your rôle, and your partner will know what he has to do ...

PS : like willow and possum are saying : a good RP is made by the swap between two (or more...) member, knowing well their own rôle and also the one of his co-player (s) ...

 

[Whipper]

Back when I found Second Life, I thought it a paradise for me and people like me. Yet, this BDSM paradise somehow failed to manifest.

I played hundreds of general, not sex-related roleplay scenes in SL and many of them were real good. I played a few vanilla sex scenes, some were good. But as for BDSM? No good scenes whatsoever.

Looking at other people in BDSM sims, I see the same pattern: they just stand around doing nothing. Some resort to solo posing. (I'm guilty of it myself because what's a girl to do.) At the very best people play the so-called 'games' - a team of seriously lonely participants uses scripted devices as ordered by the host.

My personal and subjective understanding of the problem is that most kinky people have no motivation to study roleplay and put effort into it. In roleplay you get only as much as you give. All the attempts to do a BDSM scene I saw were limited to oneliners and poseball hopping and seriously, who wants more than ten minutes of this?

Okay, what I wanted to say here... Maybe there is a way for us to use Second Life to our benefit? Because it is old, has persistent financial difficulties and probably will not be around for much longer.

It is easier to find a woman to whip but it is not as satisfying as doing it in reality.

 

[Beate]

But these two girls are also wonderful and you can play with them very well. That's also possible, especially if you're a girl.

 

[Beate]

A relatively big problem is time. I keep coming across players who tell me they only have an hour. I can't get any good RP done in that time - I need more for a good story.
Some others really take their time and it makes for nice games.

 

[tender suffering]

Let's tally up the first results...

• First and foremost, we should express our gratitude to Possum for running the CW sim for us. Of all the places I visit in SL, CW is the best fit for our shared kink by far.
• No one voted "I do immersive BDSM in SL" yet. Meaning, we are not missing out on anything.
• SL is known to be technologically overwhelming. Some solo, unhurried practice with devices and HUDs is recommended and should be popularized.
• On the same account, large events are quite difficult to organize - especially in a group that never played together before. Small scale RP with 2-3 participants may be recommended.
• Nevertheless, the more people we have simultaneously present the higher are the odds that some of them find each other interesting enough to shake off the habitual BDSM stupor and start doing something.
• The once-widespread opinion that there are no women on the Internet is still a thing. A curious find that we should take into account.

Enough for one day. I still think that we should be able to find a way if we put our collective mind to it.

 

[willowfall]

Back when I found Second Life, I thought it a paradise for me and people like me. Yet, this BDSM paradise somehow failed to manifest.

I played hundreds of general, not sex-related roleplay scenes in SL and many of them were real good. I played a few vanilla sex scenes, some were good. But as for BDSM? No good scenes whatsoever.

Looking at other people in BDSM sims, I see the same pattern: they just stand around doing nothing. Some resort to solo posing. (I'm guilty of it myself because what's a girl to do.) At the very best people play the so-called 'games' - a team of seriously lonely participants uses scripted devices as ordered by the host.

My personal and subjective understanding of the problem is that most kinky people have no motivation to study roleplay and put effort into it. In roleplay you get only as much as you give. All the attempts to do a BDSM scene I saw were limited to oneliners and poseball hopping and seriously, who wants more than ten minutes of this?

Okay, what I wanted to say here... Maybe there is a way for us to use Second Life to our benefit? Because it is old, has persistent financial difficulties and probably will not be around for much longer.

Well the problem is not SL as a platform nor what we have available to us to play with in SL basically, as with all things, the problem is HUMANS. Not the system, the concept or the technology, it is humans.

In the west we have so much that we basically expect to get handed things. So a sub comes to Cruxwinds (or any BDSM sim) and they expect the dom to do what the SUB wants and as long as the sub can get off on the images why bother putting in any effort? Why be concerned if the OTHER person is enjoying themselves? Besides which they think their fantasy (and this extends to sexual fantasies too) is the only or best one.

And the vast majority of "doms" have watched way to much porn and have no idea how to be dominant.

How much you get out of the SL platform pretty much equals how much effort you put in. I've played with a lot of "dominants" and have a small stable of excellent ones who know how to play the part and know I will put in the effort to make the scene 'real' for them. We have a great time together.

But we also have a cultural problem. We no longer engage individuals around us. We'd rather "talk" with someone a million miles away who agrees with everything we say than talk to the person next door who we may have differences with. I have watched my oldest niece TEXT the person she is sitting next to instead of talking to her. People walking down the street look away from you as if you don't exist.

Who reads books anymore? Magazines, etc? If a website doesn't load in 10 seconds people move on. Do you really expect people like that to have the patience to RP a scene that is an hour or two long?

In a culture like that do really expect people to be able to RP?

It took me quite a while to meet people who I could RP with. But now when I show up at CW or in Gor or wherever, there are people who see me coming and say 'Now the game begins.'

If you are an introvert or not willing to weed thru the chaff, no SL will probably not work for you. But if you put in the effort AND are willing to be flexible (say if you are primarily a sub be willing to switch) then you should be able to enjoy yourself.

If you are inflexible or unwilling to put in the effort then no it won't.

And I am using "you" here in the universal sense. I am NOT pointing at any one person.

kisses

willowfall

 

[willowfall]

A relatively big problem is time. I keep coming across players who tell me they only have an hour. I can't get any good RP done in that time - I need more for a good story.
Some others really take their time and it makes for nice games.

Beate one solution for that is multi-session RP. I've done it with a number of players.

You have a scenario and you as a player then 'build' your character (you can ask @SeD when he sets up a scenario and I am always asking questions about the who, what and why). Once play starts you break it into chunks, Scene #1 (Capture or the Dom sets the trap) then break at a natural point, Scene #2 (Torture) again break at a natural point like confession, Scene #3 execution. 5-6 hours of good play right there.

Plus to address a point brought up earlier, lack of organization, if there is a desire for more extensive\complicated RP among the CF crowd (which I would love) let's use this forum to set up plays and assign roles. We can do that.

I can see a lot of ways to do this what I need (as CW RP Manager) is people committed to playing AND being flexible.

kisses

willowfall

 

[cruzifer]

The weekend before Easter, two friends met at my guest house's BDSM playroom. We first went to a restaurant, styled like a Spanish finca to have snacks and freshly made lemonade. One of my friends is married with two children, and her vanilla husband knows about her life as a masochist but leaves her all freedom to live out her kink. The other friend used to be my spouse, but my frequent traveller's life as an entrepreneur was not her cup of tea. So she fell in love with another guy - whose first name is like mine. Usually, both come to visit for barbecuing or BDSM play, and we make jokes whom she means when calling our equal forenames.
We meet at my play room (with hooks at the ceiling, two wooden T-crosses, Spanish horse, dildoes, magic wand, whips, suspension cuffs, needles and so on and so on) that comes with a big bath room to wash off blood or just enjoy ourselves in a big corner tub, and that has got a second guest room for our cupcake and coffee pauses for chit-chat. We jus live out our kinks.
The week before Easter, my friend from Dusseldorf (the married one) brought light flowers which she asked me to attach to her body with needles (and plaster to stuff them into the surgical needle heads). My other friend assisted. She had been needled two weeks earlier (with feathers instead of flowers), when her new boyfriend has assisted me. He and I are not jealous (specially when I kiss her gorgeous ass before disinfecting for needle play), and I am glad she is now in a happier relationship with him than she used to be with me (whenever I was at home).
So, she came and asked me to put teethed wound sealing clips onto her butts (which cause a strong biting pain without breaking the skin) and stick a first needle into one butt side for testing. That one carried a small birthday cake candle - which I set on fire and let it burn down entirely. Some wax poured onto her skin, but now very much.
It worked well, so next time she will have both butts full of needles and look like an old lady's birthday cake (both girls are aged 32 though).

I took lots of photos with my 35 mm full frame and their smartphones, which my two friends proudly uploaded to their FetLife.com galleries. One of the last pictures with flowers needled to my friend's back was taken outside in my big garden full of daffodils.

In May, that friend from Dusseldorf wants to be suspended from the hooks and have me use a tool that she bought and proudly presented to us: A small heavy paddle with ultra-sharp spikes. We call this "blood-play" in BDSM, and she suggested to cover the walls of my play room (that also serves as sleeping room for guests, with hanging chairs on the hooks then) as some blood might spray on them otherwise. She actually thought we could do this last time, but her flower-needling took much time and she had to take care of her children so her husband could go out with friends on that Saturday night.

So. That is real life. Not "second" or "third".

I hope, this glimpse into life encourages some of you stop living in the "Matrix" (which movie topic was supposed to be dystopia!) and go out and meet real friends to act with.
It's so simple. I found my friend from Dusseldorf on FetLife, sent her a compliment for an outfit and asked if she will join for a mulled wine on Dusseldorf Christmas Market. "Sure", she answered, and we exchanged mobile phone numbers and just met and introduced each other over two glasses of wine after passing the market's Covid-vaccination check-point.
As you see in my avatar picture, I have also practiced face-to-face crucifixion with a wonderful wife of a very nice friend (who was crucified too). Had got in touch with him here and moved discussion to FetLife before I just bought a flight ticket to Spain and enjoyed wonderful days with the two (and not just on their crosses).

Life is what happens while you are busy simulating it (John Lennon might say in these days).

 

[cruzifer]

...and for those which like to see us: FetLife > MaitreEnCroix
(there are quite a number of incels on FL though, which show grave disrespect for women: hen-and-egg ...fixation on kink makes lonely men)

 

[tgpan]

SL, especially the Cruxwind sim is fantastic! SL is free, Cruxwinds is free. Every one should try it. Make your (crucifixion) dreams come true!

 

[willowfall]

SL, especially the Cruxwind sim is fantastic! SL is free, Cruxwinds is free. Every one should try it. Make your (crucifixion) dreams come true!

Wait wait wait, Cruxwinds itself is NOT free. There is a very minor 150 Linden (depending on the exchange rate less than $0.25 US) onetime charge to join. This helps us keep out those who aren't serious.

SL itself is Free and both Blue and SeD will attest that if you come with the right attitude Possum and I (and other members) are more than willing to help you get acclimated so you can begin creating your own fun.

kisses

willowfall

 

[SeD]

SL itself is Free and both Blue and SeD will attest that if you come with the right attitude Possum and I (and other members) are more than willing to help you get acclimated so you can begin creating your own fun.

When I first came to Cruxwind and was a bit lost, the help of Possum and Willow was invaluable in finding my bearings.

 

[Fantasmo]

I can only second what Possum, Willow and others say:
The main problems are:
- A mass of "subs" who have a clear storybook in mind, usually a rather short and simplistic one, who look for "doms" servicing them
- Lack of readiness to contribute: Be it in setting up a nice avatar that fits the setting, be it time, be it readiness to "weave" a back story around the "key" event, be it only tips to help cover the running cost of a sim

I have been quite active at CW, am less so currently, but only because I put on a pair of shoes that makes the burden even larger: I run a sim myself!
So I pay US$ 130 a month to run the sim and have like $5 "contributions" of those who play... the modern "everything is for free, some idiot will be found to pay the bill for my personal entertainment" - attitude
The sim I run is a complex of two islands. One is just a carribean paradise, with a natives tribe and a medieval trading post (with dark secrets), the neighbor island is inhabited by cannibals and pirates!
We have a ratio of sub to dom of about 20:1 I would say, what burns out the doms, especially if the majority, not all luckily, of subs experiences to get serviced along their line of thoughts.
What really sucks: The "subs" role typically is "castaway". Cannibals hunt them (if their roleplay preferences include "getting roasted alive") for obvious reasons, pirates and other slavers for other reasons.
Now we have not few people who don't care, who walk with 21st century outfit on a pirates island (of course they don't care to read 2 lines or take the clue from pictures that clearly are 17th century), walk across the island, straight into the cannibals cave and ask "who wants to roast me?"
There was a time when I had patience for such people, nowadays I simply eject and ban them, as they are wasting my time!

That much for the negative side.

Now there are other sides of SL that I enjoy greatly and that make it worthwhile!

1. SL is a real virtual world, including the ability to freely create content. I can build a cross very much like I can in real life (it takes some skills in both worlds and the readiness to invest time). So I can build my own fantasy world. (enclosed a screenshot of my "SL-Slave" Flower, with a collar that I made for her...)

2. There ARE a few great roleplayers, who are ready to invest some time into learning how SL works (it is NOT rocket science, but it takes the readiness to WANT to learn), who invest thought and time in their roleplay skills and with whom one can have great roleplay. Roleplay in SL is not only using the devices but still to a large extent text roleplay and emoting!

3. Almost anything goes in SL, only fantasy is the limit... and no damage is done!

So yes, it is very worth it and experienced players like Possum, Willow will be able to direct you at Cruxwinds, if you are so inclined.

But SL is not a "game" really, it is a virtual world really!
So don't expect to be entertained by a game!
Nobody entertains you in RL if you sit on a chair and wait or if you go out and sit somewhere else. It is absolutely the same in SL.
If you are ready to blend into a scene setting, what means investing some effort into a nice avatar and fitting clothes etc, as well the readiness to WAIT a few minutes until others show up, then SL is a great place!

 

[Blue]

I can only second what Possum, Willow and others say:
d.

But SL is not a "game" really, it is a virtual world really!
So don't expect to be entertained by a game!
Nobody entertains you in RL if you sit on a chair and wait or if you go out and sit somewhere else. It is absolutely the same in SL.
If you are ready to blend into a scene setting, what means investing some effort into a nice avatar and fitting clothes etc, as well the readiness to WAIT a few minutes until others show up, then SL is a great place!

Agree!

Dominus Discipulus (aka Blue)