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I'ld Wish If We Could Discuss About Bdsm...

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Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
Leaving aside BDSM, any woman with a naturally submissive nature,​
one who simply enjoys​
"surrender, self-giving, giving pleasure"​
is at risk from men who take that as an excuse to abuse her,​
I know that from experience, all too well.​
And, besides the really nasty, psychopathic types,​
men tend to think of sexual relationships more in the short term,​
women tend to need something more long-term, and permanent,​
so a lot of sub women get tossed between Doms​
who just abuse them without caring about their feelings,​
and ones who have their fun for a few days/ weeks/ months,​
then get bored and bugger off.​
 

Fantasmo

Senator
Leaving aside BDSM, any woman with a naturally submissive nature,​
one who simply enjoys​
"surrender, self-giving, giving pleasure"​
is at risk from men who take that as an excuse to abuse her,​
I know that from experience, all too well.​
Unfortunately true, but it may be reassuring if I tell you that I have also seen plenty of other examples.​
Sometimes I am amazed what guys women are selecting: I am seeing it 10 miles against wind that he is an idiot (big mouth, nothing behind) but there seems to be something that makes female brains stop under certain circumstances. (Endorphines? ;) :D :D ...)​
The really nasty thing is that, after a few disappointments, stereotypes are developed because, still looking at the same type of guys, they see their findings confirmed.​
And, besides the really nasty, psychopathic types,men tend to think of sexual relationships more in the short term, women tend to need something more long-term, and permanent, so a lot of sub women get tossed between Doms
who just abuse them without caring about their feelings,​
and ones who have their fun for a few days/ weeks/ months,​
then get bored and bugger off.​
That's those kind of guys who are looking for "more" instead of "better"...
I know...
 

admihoek

Administrator
Staff member
that's not only a BDSM problem isn't?
I follow this but in some cases have I tongue-problems so I don't react as usual
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
right Admi - it's not just a BDSM problem,​
but all the worse for women who get into that situation in a BDSM context.​
 

admihoek

Administrator
Staff member
:confused: but now Im busy again with some thoughts
 

messaline

Crucified Amazon
No, it's not only a problem of BDSM, and I know of what about I speak and you so, Eul and Fantasmo...
Yes, in BDSM the problem is certainly increased and it is intensified by the fact that one people is Dom (having the power) and the other Submit (impossibility
to defend herself);
The only word which do be remembered in BDSM is : RESPECT !
 

admihoek

Administrator
Staff member
In every relation, either lesbian, gay, hetero. parents, childeren, employers, employees, government and civilians and each is respect important and needed that's what I'm agree with you and you with me.
But in every relation company and society live assholes.
Assholes in BDSM are mostly the same assholes elsewhere, Problem is that most subservients are submissiveness.
and the assholes have no laws either in BDSM as in other relationship or work.
I'm a dutch and I hope that my poor opinion clear is. As most of you know I respect everyone who respect the humanity and our finest and greatest feeling we have LOVE ( the nature of them never mind);)
 

Fantasmo

Senator
that's not only a BDSM problem isn't?
I follow this but in some cases have I tongue-problems so I don't react as usual
No, sure not only a BDSM problem, you are right. It's just having potentially more dramatic effects if "assholes are playing master" ;)
If a Sub is surrendering to a Dom, it's more important than anywhere else in life that the Dom is worth that trust!

But tongue problems should not prevent from chiming in, you always can say "I don't find the right terms in English, maybe .... but in Dutch it would be ...."

With some good will from all parties one always is able to understand!
 

thehangingtree

Proconsul
Staff member
In every relation, either lesbian, gay, hetero. parents, childeren, employers, employees, government and civilians and each is respect important and needed that's what I'm agree with you and you with me.
But in every relation company and society live assholes.
Assholes in BDSM are mostly the same assholes elsewhere, Problem is that most subservients are submissiveness.
and the assholes have no laws either in BDSM as in other relationship or work.
I'm a dutch and I hope that my poor opinion clear is. As most of you know I respect everyone who respect the humanity and our finest and greatest feeling we have LOVE ( the nature of them never mind);)

Well spoken, now have a drink

T
 

ERIN the Brave

ELFGIRL WARRIOR
Staff member

messaline

Crucified Amazon
A new discussion ?

Without pretence to impose a viewpoint rather than an other, I'ld wish to discuss
about Man/Woman' DOM in Fantazy or even in real experiences of BDSM...

In fact, these wonderful pics of Arcimboldo brought me to the question:
what is the most for enjoy ,almost for women, to be tortured by man or woman?
58practice2.jpg----59teamwork1.jpg

For me, beeing lesbian, the answer is virtualy obvious: in reality, I'm not enjoyed to be nude, tied, exposed to the mercy of a man...Furthermore, I think that a woman is more expert in knowledge of woman's body and she'll well know the
spots where her victim will suffer with sophistication; she'll know what intensity
to put in her tortures to bring the most of suffering/pleasure ...:rolleyes:

In fantazy, I find that pics are generaly more poetics when there are women's torturers ...and above all, more sophisticated...
36pillage.jpg On this pic, we can perceive a sort of challenge from the crucified woman, seeming to tell: "Go on! Try to perforate me with your lance..."
And the warrior woman seems to think: "What am I doing? Is she not enough
suffering...?"
It's not "gore", it's fine !;)

To be continued ! I'm waiting your reactions, your experiences, women and men, but BE CONSTRUCTIVE.....
 

Fantasmo

Senator
what is the most for enjoy ,almost for women, to be tortured by man or woman?

For me, beeing lesbian, the answer is virtualy obvious: in reality, I'm not enjoyed to be nude, tied, exposed to the mercy of a man...
I think your question already contains the answer: It depends on your sexual orientation. However women in general seem to have an easier sexual access to the same sex than men do. Obviously that may be "wishful thinking by a horny man" ;) but I don't think.

Furthermore, I think that a woman is more expert in knowledge of woman's body and she'll well know the spots where her victim will suffer with sophistication; she'll know what intensity to put in her tortures to bring the most of suffering/pleasure ...:rolleyes:
Male perspective: Maybe, maybe not.
Sure, a woman knows better than a man how certain things feel, if they have experienced it themselves, what often isn't the case in BDSM practices.
Don's often are using the whip without ever having experienced it themselves. The same goes for any other practice.
So, in my experience, it rather boils down to communication and experience, also because individual reactions do vary largely!
But I am curious how other women are feeling about this.

In fantazy, I find that pics are generaly more poetics when there are women's torturers ...and above all, more sophisticated...
But you are aware that this pic was constructed by a man, aren't you?
Generally I agree here as well, but I am rather referring to genuine female works like for example "History of O".
Men sometimes seem to have too much of a pussy/ass/tit focus and are missing that slowness and suspense are the source of erotic tension, rather than "simple optical stimuli".

But there is a reason why nature "made it like this".
Unlike women, men need to be constantly horny and have an orgasm in order to "preserve the race". If a woman isn't fully excited for a few seconds, during intercourse, only she will know. If a man isn't...well, things get hindered somehow ;)

Not all women are "very helpful" in bed in this respect, so it helps if optical stimuli are enough to keep him excited.
But that would be a whole different discussion.
 

thehangingtree

Proconsul
Staff member
In the realm of reality BDSM I can understand your preference to submit to a woman in light of your orientation. In the fantasy world the only reason your torturer might care what you think is if you are sufficiently hurt/humiliate by what is being done to you. In the first two pictures you present I doubt the victim is any happier that it is women inflicting their pain than if it had been men.

In the story 'After Messaline's plans' the three women have very different views on what is happening to them, ranging from Martha's more or less resignation, Janet's desire to experience anything before her execution, to Brigitte's 'this is not fair' indignation.

In my younger days (early '80's) I knew a woman that was definitely lesbian. We were friends and one day she so eloquently stated "I need a real dick. Do you want to fuck me?" Being the gentleman that I am, of course I wanted to and yes I did fuck the forbidden fruit (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). It turned into a bondage session with light disciple heavy on berated name calling. Afterward I didn't hear from her for a while and thought I had literally fucked up a good friendship. Later I ran into her and she and I talked like nothing had ever happened.

Sometime later she confided that she had never tried bondage before that night and she had convinced her girlfriend (her description, not mine) to try it and they both enjoyed it, even reversing dom and sub rolls. Almost as a thank you to me we recreated that night a few other times. We remained friends but soon she moved west and I married and we lost track of each other...



Tree
 

messaline

Crucified Amazon
In the first two pictures you present I doubt the victim is any happier that it is women inflicting their pain than if it had been men.

Yes, in fact, I can agree: it was to introduce the topic and to show MY preference,
and, at last, in my fantazy, I like to see woman'torturer: it's exiting for me...
but I accept that a man tortures or crucifies me also...you knows that, Tree;)
It's also very exiting, don't doubt!

a woman that was definitely lesbian.... "I need a real dick. Do you want to fuck me?.

I understand that! For the moment, certainly because my grievous past experience, I can accept the idea of penetration by a man, but, sometimes,
I've also some desire, perhaps instinctual and, a day, I'll not be so entirely lesbian,
it's possible and I don't deny that....
Thanks for your viewpoint: it was interesting!;)
 
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