Limericks

[Davec5299]

The limerick thread has woken again!
For the good of all mice and all men!
May it live well and prosper,
Like a farmer from Gloucester,
Whose pigs are are overflowing the pen!

 

[twonines]

It seems the Limerick thread is stirring
And I`m certainly not demurring.
When they`re hot,
I like `em a lot,
And Monty is now really purring.

 

[Davec5299]

The rhyming could always be slicker.
Just as soup should always be thicker.
But the effort is there,
Along with much care,
As the limericks come ever quicker!

 

[twonines]

Barb, whom we admire from afar,
Of these rhymes is often a star.
Whether her pussy`s being eaten
Or her tight little beaten,
Her limits are always exceeded by far.

 

[twonines]

I make no apologies for reposting my favourite Limerick.

There was a young lady from Barton Creek,
Who had her monthlies twice a week.
"How provoking"
Said the Bishop of Woking,
"No poking, so to speak."

 

[montycrusto]

Barb, whom we admire from afar,

…Through powerful binoculars!

 

[cruxlover]

A few more from explosion of limericks - enjoy.

 

[Barbaria1]

Limericks here are abundant
And at times even redundant
Monty’s a star
Prolific by far
Makes my laughter convulsant

 

[Eulalia]

A few more from explosion of limericks - enjoy.

These rhymelets are really fantastic,
But to read them you must be gymnastic -
Just stand on your head
At the foot of your bed
And bounce up and down on elastic!

Specifically, 0004, 6, 7 and 9 are upside down - don't think I can remedy that, you've probably scanned them that way.
They're good ones - yes, I've stood on my head and read them - perhaps you could have another shot at scanning and posting?

 

[montycrusto]

These rhymelets are really fantastic,
But to read them you must be gymnastic -
Just stand on your head
At the foot of your bed
And bounce up and down on elastic!

¡ɹǝǝɥɔ puɐ ǝʅʇɹoɥɔ ʅʅᴉʍ sɹǝɥʇo ʞuᴉɥʇ I
ʻuʍoɹⅎ ʎɐɯ sʞʅoⅎ ǝɯos ǝʅᴉɥʍ pu∀
ʻuʍop-ǝpᴉsdn ǝʇᴉɹʍ ʅʅ’I
:ǝɹǝɥ ʇno ʇᴉ ʎɹʇ oʇ ƃuᴉoƃ ɯ’I
¡ɐǝpᴉ ʇɐǝɹƃ ɐ ǝɯ sǝʌᴉƃ ʇɐɥꓕ

 

[twonines]

Limericks appear to be back in fashion,
So we writers alas, must crash on.
Whether inverted,
Or merely perverted,
We pursue them all with a passion.

 

[montycrusto]

Our verses are fresh and original;
They might not be easy to pigeon-‘ole.
But any old fool,
Can tell they’re as cool,
As if they were kept in a fridge ‘n’ all.

 

[montycrusto]

From Wee Bonnie Barb’s Scottish Ballad,
To Eliza Tight-Little’s word-salad,
Our limerick stories
Are glimmering glories,
Compared to which, all else is pallid!

 

[twonines]

A problem we regularly face,
Is to get words in the right place.
But in describing the pain
Of Barb getting the cane,
I find that is seldom the case.

 

[montycrusto]

With verses profane and profound,
We’ve covered a great deal of ground.
A lyrical treasure
To savour at leisure,
Heaped up in a tight little mound.

 

[Crux-Emperor Baracus X]

Mary,Mary,Quite,Contrary
How does your Garden grow ??
"I live in an upstairs Flat
You stupid fuckin' twat
How the hell should I know ?!"

 

[Davec5299]

Mary,Mary,Quite,Contrary
How does your Garden grow ??
"I live in an upstairs Flat
You stupid fuckin' twat
How the hell should I know ?!"

Mmmm!

A limerick's a beautiful rhyme,
Full of nuance and subtly sublime.
And many might curse
At this rough old verse,
And declare its writing a crime.

But here we are always quite happy
To welcome a verse that's quite scrappy.
Each one is just fun,
And when all said and done,
We can all write stuff that's quite crappy!

 

[montycrusto]

We can all write stuff that's quite crappy!

Speak for yourself!

 

[Davec5299]

Speak for yourself!

Oh, I'm very good at it! Haven't you noticed!

 

[cruxlover]

Retaken as jpegs with camera, problem was holding the book on my scanner, I managed to rotate the pics, but they reverted when saved.