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Limericks

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Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
This is an article I posted here years ago, but the Anitergia of Lucius Fatuus do seem to fit rather well in this thread
Were you the author, Andy? I do remember having fits of chuckling at this - if it's yours, it would be ideal for the Archive!
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
Okay, I'll make a note to get it into the Archive.
If you have a picture we could use on the resource page - and as a cover page for the pdf,
that would be good. Otherwise I'm sure Madiosi will have some ideas :)
 

andy01

Magistrate
Okay, I'll make a note to get it into the Archive.
If you have a picture we could use on the resource page - and as a cover page for the pdf,
that would be good. Otherwise I'm sure Madiosi will have some ideas :)

Alas I have no talent at all for drawing.
If I had, I might draw:
  • Some rats attacking Bugs Bunny, and in the background a furious arena audience;
  • A blazing building in Rome, with a gang of men in grubby tunics standing around holding roses;
  • Caesar on the steps of the Senate House, imperiously waving away the soothsayer;
  • A slave standing with one wrist nailed to a cross while the executioners scratch their heads;
  • A puzzled idiot looking at a table, onto which he has emptied a box that held only one nail;
  • An executioner who has just hit his thumb with the hammer, while the victim sniggers;
  • An executioner spreading glue (from a pot marked Glue) onto a cross, while his assistants watch in disbelief, shaking their heads;
  • Two soldiers looking at an empty cross, with the legend "I told him he should have used Wilson's nails".
But I can't.
 

Barbaria1

Rebel Leader
Staff member
Alas I have no talent at all for drawing.
If I had, I might draw:
  • Some rats attacking Bugs Bunny, and in the background a furious arena audience;
  • A blazing building in Rome, with a gang of men in grubby tunics standing around holding roses;
  • Caesar on the steps of the Senate House, imperiously waving away the soothsayer;
  • A slave standing with one wrist nailed to a cross while the executioners scratch their heads;
  • A puzzled idiot looking at a table, onto which he has emptied a box that held only one nail;
  • An executioner who has just hit his thumb with the hammer, while the victim sniggers;
  • An executioner spreading glue (from a pot marked Glue) onto a cross, while his assistants watch in disbelief, shaking their heads;
  • Two soldiers looking at an empty cross, with the legend "I told him he should have used Wilson's nails".
But I can't.

I giggled over the last three ... :p
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
Unsolicited Love

And after joining Cruxforums, I met a girl called Eul;
Prettier than the moonlight shimmering in the pool.
I openly declared my love for her,
But her reply was loud and clear,
That if I don’t nail her, I’m no less than a fool.

If you nail her, Eulalia
Won't think you're a failure,
A romantic male
Who can sharpen his nail -
She might even let you impale 'er! :D
 
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Jackie1111

Tribune
A few lovely limericks by someone who goes by "Erick." Found over at Sir Jeff's site....


Traveling Display

I love to display all my charms,
And the straps at my back-twisted arms
Throw my breasts out before me;
All Masters adore me
When I visit each one of their farms.



The Price of Beauty

This corset has been so tight-laced
It pinches and squeezes my waist
But it does emphasize
My breasts' ample size
A ponygirl perfectly graced.



Qualification

If pride is a good guarantee,
Then my ponygirl's good as can be
Her smile and her strut
Make her more than a slut
Yet she has no desire to be free.
 

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Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
100,000 likes now has Eulalia
With stories and poems she's regaled-ya
Her writing so divine
Has sent chills down your spine
May her wit and charm never fail-ya
There was a clever cruxgirl called Eul
whose posts were never uncool
So well was she liked
Her 'likes' they did spiked

Till they exceeded100k virtuel.

As to ten to the fifth she ascends,
Crucifixa Eulalia sends
From her cross lots of kisses
And all her good wishes
And thanks to her CruxForums friends!

:bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart: :bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart:
 

Wragg

Chronicler of Crux
Staff member
As to ten to the fifth she ascends,
Crucifixa Eulalia sends
From her cross lots of kisses
And all her good wishes
And thanks to her CruxForums friends!

:bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart::bdsm-heart:
We members, who form the site's ranks
Are terribly glad for your thanks,
What makes us so happy -
Your limerick, snappy
Outshines the weak lines of the Yanks! :p
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
congratulations on avoiding other possible rhymes with ranks and thanks :p
I will not try. Egad! it would be horrible. I do think the Scot won the contest. My best is one from my father, who had an unlimited collection of dirty limericks. Hope it hasn't be posted already.
From England; From Kent:

There was a young man from Kent
Whose Tool was incredibly Bent
To save himself trouble
He stuck it in double
So he not only Came, but he Went!
 

Wragg

Chronicler of Crux
Staff member
I will not try. Egad! it would be horrible. I do think the Scot won the contest. My best is one from my father, who had an unlimited collection of dirty limericks. Hope it hasn't be posted already.
From England; From Kent:

There was a young man from Kent
Whose Tool was incredibly Bent
To save himself trouble
He stuck it in double
So he not only Came, but he Went!

Not in this thread it hasn't! Praefectus Praetoria restores credibility to the American team! (And makes me laugh into the bargain!)

:meparto:
congratulations on avoiding other possible rhymes with ranks and thanks :p
Spanks? :p
 

Ted Parry

Governor
Sorry about this ... but I'm on a roll ... Regarding the vicious rumours about Welshmen ...

There was a young man from Pwllheli,
Stuck a sheeps hind legs in his wellie,
Said this angel of love,
must be sent from above,
Now there's sheep shit all over his belly.
 
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