• Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.

Mina Berkeley's Voyage

Go to CruxDreams.com

jjjack

Magistrate
You have written a beautiful chapter. First of all, you described the psychology of the mass very well, first favorable to the martyrdom of Mina and then gradually contrary to the open rebellion against authority.
Mina proves once more a strong character full of will, bent but not defeated. Furthermore, as you said before, the erotic tension of the story lies in the fact that even the executioner has his limits (laws, customs, traditions, public opinion): he would like to do everything he wants to satisfy his instincts but he can't. When this tension is released the result will surely be shocking, because it will find an equally strong character as that of the protagonist.
The historical aspect is always very well studied. Congratulations again.
 

Barbaria1

Rebel Leader
Staff member
jack, these are really well done! :)
 

Lord Ludwig

Executioner
I may be mistaken, but IIRC in the beginning of this story, a couple of years back, there was mention of the "bad guy" taking Mina to his slave plantations in the far east. That got me hoping for more exotic punishments than whipping. I know it's hard to come up with original stuff... I was pleasantly surprised by the introduction (pun intended) of the ginger root, but I fear we'll never see Mina as a slave somewhere in India staked out spread-eagled under the sun and smeared in honey, right? :)
 

Jon Smithie

Governor
I may be mistaken, but IIRC in the beginning of this story, a couple of years back, there was mention of the "bad guy" taking Mina to his slave plantations in the far east. That got me hoping for more exotic punishments than whipping. I know it's hard to come up with original stuff... I was pleasantly surprised by the introduction (pun intended) of the ginger root, but I fear we'll never see Mina as a slave somewhere in India staked out spread-eagled under the sun and smeared in honey, right? :)
I think the story has dragged on a little too long and I'm trying to figure out how to wrap it up. As far as "more exotic" punishments go, well, gosh; while it's true that I am most interested in plain jane judicial punishments like whipping, and caning, I've also included other punishments like the jougs, the branks, falaka, hoisting on the picket and of course the ginger root. So I have tried to present a smorgasbord, as it were.

The bad guy has a sugar plantation in the West Indies, not the far East, and that's where he was going to take Mina and use her as a slave. I do have one last "exotic" punishment in mind for Mina, but I don't think I'll dwell too long on her use and abuse as a slave. I do want to end the story with Mina and Laura getting some payback, and I think we're at the point where she's just about earned it.
 

Lord Ludwig

Executioner
I think the story has dragged on a little too long and I'm trying to figure out how to wrap it up. As far as "more exotic" punishments go, well, gosh; while it's true that I am most interested in plain jane judicial punishments like whipping, and caning, I've also included other punishments like the jougs, the branks, falaka, hoisting on the picket and of course the ginger root. So I have tried to present a smorgasbord, as it were.

The bad guy has a sugar plantation in the West Indies, not the far East, and that's where he was going to take Mina and use her as a slave. I do have one last "exotic" punishment in mind for Mina, but I don't think I'll dwell too long on her use and abuse as a slave. I do want to end the story with Mina and Laura getting some payback, and I think we're at the point where she's just about earned it.
Sure, mine wasn't meant as a criticism. I remembered something about a plantation, but mixed east and west. It WAS quite a time ago that I read that passage :)
 

Jon Smithie

Governor
I'll be sorry when it's over, but it deserves a new chapter.
Thanks, jjjack. I really enjoy your manips, and I think you deserve a say in what happens next. So, how about you do a manip representing what you want to have happen to Mina in the next chapter (except death or maiming) and I'll incorporate your idea in the chapter. I don't know how long it takes you to do a manip, and if you don't have the time, then send me a message describing your idea.
 
Top Bottom