danielle926
Executioner
I was just looking at my own avatar and wondering to myself what I might be doing, feeling, saying, etc once my cross was raised after I had been nailed to it. So I just decided to jot them down kind of randomly in a post.
Initially there would be screams of agony and the instant realization that I would be dying on this cross. I would want so badly to be free of my pain and anguish that my struggling would begin immediately. Squirming, writhing, hoping to somehow free myself from my cross even though the nails make it impossible.
I would be engaged in the ultimate struggle, the struggle for my life.
The cycle would be vicious. The struggle causing more agony but I would have the inner need to struggle anyway. And the more suffering that would occur, the more it would cause me to struggle.
Then, between my sobbing and my moans of agony, would come the pleas for help. I would force myself to look around and pick out people to make eye contact with. Then beg them for help. Hoping I could make them see and understand the suffering I am going through. I want them to look in my eyes to see the pain, anguish and desperation that I am in. I could imagine how I would beg and plead. "Please somebody help me, please I beg you, please please help me".
I would bow my head at times in desperation. Other times I would throw it back in desperation. I would shake my head from side to side letting everyone know this shouldn't be happening to me. But it is. And there is nothing I can do. The helplessness would begin to overwhelm me.
I think at times I would look over at my wrists and see them nailed. See the blood running and dripping from them. But then quickly look away, almost unable to believe that I am really nailed to this cross. That I am being crucified.
Being catholic, that would finally kick in. And people would hear me begin to pray. Not standard prayers at first, but prayers I am making up. Prayers of desperation, begging for help, mercy and comfort. "dear god please comfort me, please, I beg you. Please dear lord have mercy on me, please help me through this agony, please god please". Things like that. Praying through moans and sobs of pain.
I would need to feel loved so badly, that if I saw a friend or relative there I would look down at them and beg them, "please, please tell me you love me, oh god please tell me that please...".
Eventually I would be heard praying standard prayers, still hoping those prayers will bring mercy and comfort. I could imagine trying to struggle more when I was getting weaker, knowing the end was near, struggling again for my life.
I'm not sure what the last thing I would say would be but I imagine it might be something like this. While looking down at anyone there that was a friend or relative that cared about me, I would probably say something like "please remember me and what I went through, I love you and please pray for me...."
Initially there would be screams of agony and the instant realization that I would be dying on this cross. I would want so badly to be free of my pain and anguish that my struggling would begin immediately. Squirming, writhing, hoping to somehow free myself from my cross even though the nails make it impossible.
I would be engaged in the ultimate struggle, the struggle for my life.
The cycle would be vicious. The struggle causing more agony but I would have the inner need to struggle anyway. And the more suffering that would occur, the more it would cause me to struggle.
Then, between my sobbing and my moans of agony, would come the pleas for help. I would force myself to look around and pick out people to make eye contact with. Then beg them for help. Hoping I could make them see and understand the suffering I am going through. I want them to look in my eyes to see the pain, anguish and desperation that I am in. I could imagine how I would beg and plead. "Please somebody help me, please I beg you, please please help me".
I would bow my head at times in desperation. Other times I would throw it back in desperation. I would shake my head from side to side letting everyone know this shouldn't be happening to me. But it is. And there is nothing I can do. The helplessness would begin to overwhelm me.
I think at times I would look over at my wrists and see them nailed. See the blood running and dripping from them. But then quickly look away, almost unable to believe that I am really nailed to this cross. That I am being crucified.
Being catholic, that would finally kick in. And people would hear me begin to pray. Not standard prayers at first, but prayers I am making up. Prayers of desperation, begging for help, mercy and comfort. "dear god please comfort me, please, I beg you. Please dear lord have mercy on me, please help me through this agony, please god please". Things like that. Praying through moans and sobs of pain.
I would need to feel loved so badly, that if I saw a friend or relative there I would look down at them and beg them, "please, please tell me you love me, oh god please tell me that please...".
Eventually I would be heard praying standard prayers, still hoping those prayers will bring mercy and comfort. I could imagine trying to struggle more when I was getting weaker, knowing the end was near, struggling again for my life.
I'm not sure what the last thing I would say would be but I imagine it might be something like this. While looking down at anyone there that was a friend or relative that cared about me, I would probably say something like "please remember me and what I went through, I love you and please pray for me...."