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Just catching up ... no alerts :doh:

Sorry

But wow! Really great writing!

Kudos Malins :clapping:
Thanks, .... note the usage of blue for a character even more nasty than the very low average in this story is no slight against you, I just need colors that can be distinguished :D

By necessity of the story the other voice is 'Gray' (this may be hard to recognize for people who use the black background scheme) and well, blue here is basically the color of the establishment ;)
 
Thanks, .... note the usage of blue for a character even more nasty than the very low average in this story is no slight against you, I just need colors that can be distinguished :D

By necessity of the story the other voice is 'Gray' (this may be hard to recognize for people who use the black background scheme) and well, blue here is basically the color of the establishment ;)

Nope. The distinction between grey and blue came through perfectly for me, and looks nice against a black background too.

Honestly, Malins, I find so much richness in this story. I am re-reading it now. Shifting scenes, prophetic imagy, asylum language, apocalypse, ominous foreboding, twists and turns ... my imagination runs riot.
 
Force of habit? I connected the text to the "sacrifice" in the earlier sections. I may be wrong.
Well ...

#3 has as its end the sacrifice recalling that at her self-perveived origin, "she had not felt any pain at all. Pain had not existed."
#4 has as its beginning someone peeling off their skin with curiousity, oblivious to pain.

That someone/something gets sedated and then other people discuss it.

The gray voice complains about repeated occurrences of self-injury among "them",
The blue voice points out, "they " are "blanks" until they can be "inculcated" with something that only results in success if it "fuses" instead of "rejecting the body".
"They" seem to come in "batches" and ... there's a maceration chamber to get rid of the rejects...

The gray voice insists "this one is different" while the blue voice insists on 'NO EMotional Involvement' which will be a recurring phrase in the program they're running.

The gray voice seems to belong to someone who feels different, and feels a requirement to 'pretend' to fit in with others. That's one connection to the sacrifice.

But "Gray" is definitely one of the experimenters, though perhaps possessed of a remnant conscience,

... and who is it behind the door labeled 13-06?
 
I assumed Pantocracy meant rule by those who wear pants:rolleyes:

Well this is not quite "The Republic of Gilead goes to Space" .... but .... not everybody gets to wear pants in the Pantocracy.

Obviously the idea is a bit influenced by a term from Orthodox Christianity.

Though 'Particicution' might be a thing in the unitary culture of the Pantocracy too.
 
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Ever more hands. Roaming over her, all longing to touch her now, to run over her nakedness, before she was raised for her rapture to the sky.
Hands, fingers, going where they wanted to, and doing so with much wanting, but their touch was caressing and not crude.


There would be no fire from the sky to avenge her and no armored angel winging down to save her.
Her pain, her death, would be all hers … and theirs, through this ceremony.


Yes, it always comes to this. These people have no malice, they cherish and caress her, this heavenly visitor, this holy sacrifice. But the ceremony will inevitably lead to pain, pain and suffering, and the discovery of things that she might have rather left hidden. What are her limits? The limits of her generosity, the limits of her endurance. What will she learn today?

Her personal history has taught her this, there is no learning without pain!

I do hope you are able to see this story through to the end Malins, I really like it :)
 
Well ...

#3 has as its end the sacrifice recalling that at her self-perveived origin, "she had not felt any pain at all. Pain had not existed."
#4 has as its beginning someone peeling off their skin with curiousity, oblivious to pain.

That someone/something gets sedated and then other people discuss it.

The gray voice complains about repeated occurrences of self-injury among "them",
The blue voice points out, "they " are "blanks" until they can be "inculcated" with something that only results in success if it "fuses" instead of "rejecting the body".
"They" seem to come in "batches" and ... there's a maceration chamber to get rid of the rejects...

The gray voice insists "this one is different" while the blue voice insists on 'NO EMotional Involvement' which will be a recurring phrase in the program they're running.

The gray voice seems to belong to someone who feels different, and feels a requirement to 'pretend' to fit in with others. That's one connection to the sacrifice.

But "Gray" is definitely one of the experimenters, though perhaps possessed of a remnant conscience,

... and who is it behind the door labeled 13-06?
I think I will read the whole thing again. ;):doh::)
 
(5)

Behind closed doors, they get together.
Directors, deciders.
Insiders.
Some of these people ... maybe one of these people ... must know what the entire Process looks like.


...and now, the schedule before us. As you are all aware, we’re preparing for the next rotation.

I want to firmly remind everyone of their responsibilities, especially with regard to safety during transfer.


To avoid any risks for personnel but also any contamination or premature sensory exposure of valuable specimens.

Batch 15 has been initalized in Incubation; meanwhile fresh blanks from batch 14 will be moving into the Inculcation cells.

Batch 13 has passed through Assessment and will be split up according to the results.
Regrettably a number of samples in this iteration have developed dominant residuals and needed to be withdrawn.

Due to different weighting of parameters in this round I can inform you that we have one sample that will be passed on to Integration, that is 13-06, the rest will be submitted to Analysis.

Who have kindly and in time provided us with the reports from sectioning of batch 12, which we will now review...

Summoned. His office again. It really was a mistake getting involved. I should have stayed were I was.

“So you see, I’m keeping up my side of our little agreement. We do have one, don’t we?
...you got your ‘early involvement’ experiment even though it violates the professional compartmentalization of the program.
You get your specimen to work on even though, let’s be honest, I’ve turned an eye while you fudged the numbers.
In turn I expect you to tolerate some ... ‘involvement’ from my part as well.”


“Your authority gives you access to all areas at Integration already. There isn’t any level of access I could grant.”

“Oh yes. I do have ... bureaucratic access. For supervision. No room though for any of the ... experimental approaches of my own I’d like to try.”

“You can submit any type of experiment you’re planning to Oversight and I’m quite sure they’ll review it favorably.”

“I don’t like Oversight at all. You wouldn't either, that much we have in common. And anyway, they’d just set up another separate group and bring in a bunch of fresh graduates, another bunch of know-it-alls.”

“What is it you want exactly?”

“I’ve become a damn paper-pusher! Administrator not experimenter. Can’t you imagine I’d like to get back to some … hands-on science every know and then? What I expect is, let us say, free access to .. ‘methods and materials’ ”

“You ... will not get your ‘hands on’ any of my subjects…”

“Watch your language. Nothing is ‘yours’ here. Not 13-06 for sure. By the way there’s something you might want to know about … 'her'.”

“What…?”

“I’ve been studying your protocols and some of your imprinting routines seem very efficient.
A lot of progress there over the last few centicycles. I’ve decided to have a go at it…”


“You can’t be serious. Do you have any idea how damaging…”

“Oh nothing. It’s just one word. I guess 13-06 sort of … has a name now.”

“Why...what...”

“Call her … ‘Noemi’.”

“That… that… actually sounds quite beautiful. What does it mean?”

“Oh nothing probably. Sounds like something First Empire. But really, if you tried looking up a bit instead of staring at the floor all the time, you might take notice of some of our ... inspirational messages. They are meant to inspire. So, Noemi it is – as long as you honor the deal. Otherwise I’ll have the assessment reviewed – I remind you I can do that at any time in the future – and poor 13-06 will suddenly be recognized a hazard and get transferred right to emergency Disposal. Because proceeding to Integration was all based on fudged numbers. You understand?”

“… yes ...anything more?”

“Stop chewing on lemons for breakfast or whatever it is you do to get that face. Show me a little smile when I come for a visit. That will be all for now.”
On the way out the door.

“I do have one last question.”

“Now what?”

“What is a ‘residual’? … It’s a term I’ve heard here and ... I'm unfamiliar with the pre-inculcation steps of the process.”

“Oh. It’s … sort of … remaining, or excess… material, you see… producing the biomorphs requires… advanced artificial growth techniques. Accelerated development. Sometimes in the end product, that goes to inculcation, there is still … residual … tissue, and you get basically, … cancer. That is what it is. I … guess it’s not called cancer because it comes about differently … and of course it’s a malfunction of a biomorph … and not human suffering.
That’s all. Incubation terminology.”

The corridor again.

Residuals.

A thought, a memory clawing its way to the surface, desperately trying to escape from underneath thick ice, before it suffocates and sinks back into the deep.

At Realignment & Reassignment they did that.
Checking for ‘residuals’.

Residual deviation.

We never knew exactly what they’d be looking for in those tests, we never knew if they’d really send you to 'that place' if you failed, and we never knew exactly what happened there.

After the tests they had us shovel fertilizer.
Shovel it and fill bags with it.

They wanted us to get dirty with it, that acrid powder that got everywhere, gritty, caustic, on your skin, in your hairs on your lashes in your eyes in your nose in your mouth in your lungs and ... everywhere.

Shovel till you fall over and then you’d sleep right there on those sacks you filled.

And the guard said,
“So much for ‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down’ - if I were you I’d rather be ground down than ground up!”.

And he laughed into our dirty dusty faces streaked with sweat and tears and we looked at each other and our hands and the shovels and we froze, what, what, WHAT was it we were shoveling.

Then whips cracked and we all started again.

It took us some time to figure out… they were just playing with our minds.

But at R&R, weeding out the residuals was about making sure we didn’t carry anything over from our old life, the wrong one, into our Realigned one.

It was just a little as if they were turning us into ‘blanks’ …

but a biomorph, an actual blank, going from Incubation to Inculcation …

it doesn’t have an old life to carry anything over from, does it?

And … playing with minds … isn't that what we're doing here...?


Oops!
Don’t make a fool of yourself. Like almost running into people.
Where was my mind?
Look up!
Inspirational slogans. And there, on the doorway to the Inculcation row, it’s been there forever but now it seems to jump at you, some cynic – that is, someone like the whole damn lot of us some cynic went and taped it up, a helpful reminder for us all ...


NO EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT ”


 
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Behind closed doors, they get together.
Directors, deciders.
Insiders.
Some of these people ... maybe one of these people ... must know what the entire Process looks like.


...and now, the schedule before us. As you are all aware, we’re preparing for the next rotation.

I want to firmly remind everyone of their responsibilities, especially with regard to safety during transfer.


To avoid any risks for personnel but also any contamination or premature sensory exposure of valuable specimens.

Batch 15 has been initalized in Incubation; meanwhile fresh blanks from batch 14 will be moving into the Inculcation cells.

Batch 13 has passed through Assessment and will be split up according to the results.
Regrettably a number of samples in this iteration have developed dominant residuals and needed to be withdrawn.

Due to different weighting of parameters in this round I can inform you that we have one sample that will be passed on to Integration, that is 13-06, the rest will be submitted to Analysis.

Who have kindly and in time provided us with the reports from sectioning of batch 12, which we will now review...

Summoned. His office again. It really was a mistake getting involved. I should have stayed were I was.

“So you see, I’m keeping up my side of our little agreement. We do have one, don’t we?
...you got your ‘early involvement’ experiment even though it violates the professional compartmentalization of the program.
You get your specimen to work on even though, let’s be honest, I’ve turned an eye while you fudged the numbers.
In turn I expect you to tolerate some ... ‘involvement’ from my part as well.”


“Your authority gives you access to all areas at Integration already. There isn’t any level of access I could grant.”

“Oh yes. I do have ... bureaucratic access. For supervision. No room though for any of the ... experimental approaches of my own I’d like to try.”

“You can submit any type of experiment you’re planning to Oversight and I’m quite sure they’ll review it favorably.”

“I don’t like Oversight at all. You wouldn't either, that much we have in common. And anyway, they’d just set up another separate group and bring in a bunch of fresh graduates, another bunch of know-it-alls.”

“What is it you want exactly?”

“I’ve become a damn paper-pusher! Administrator not experimenter. Can’t you imagine I’d like to get back to some … hands-on science every know and then? What I expect is, let us say, free access to .. ‘methods and materials’ ”

“You ... will not get your ‘hands on’ any of my subjects…”

“Watch your language. Nothing is ‘yours’ here. Not 13-06 for sure. By the way there’s something you might want to know about … 'her'.”

“What…?”

“I’ve been studying your protocols and some of your imprinting routines seem very efficient.
A lot of progress there over the last few centicycles. I’ve decided to have a go at it…”


“You can’t be serious. Do you have any idea how damaging…”

“Oh nothing. It’s just one word. I guess 13-06 sort of … has a name now.”

“Why...what...”

“Call her … ‘Noemi’.”

“That… that… actually sounds quite beautiful. What does it mean?”

“Oh nothing probably. Sounds like something First Empire. But really, if you tried looking up a bit instead of staring at the floor all the time, you might take notice of some of our ... inspirational messages. They are meant to inspire. So, Noemi it is – as long as you honor the deal. Otherwise I’ll have the assessment reviewed – I remind you I can do that at any time in the future – and poor 13-06 will suddenly be recognized a hazard and get transferred right to emergency Disposal. Because proceeding to Integration was all based on fudged numbers. You understand?”

“… yes ...anything more?”

“Stop chewing on lemons for breakfast or whatever it is you do to get that face. Show me a little smile when I come for a visit. That will be all for now.”
On the way out the door.

“I do have one last question.”

“Now what?”

“What is a ‘residual’? … It’s a term I’ve heard here and ... I'm unfamiliar with the pre-inculcation steps of the process.”

“Oh. It’s … sort of … remaining, or excess… material, you see… producing the biomorphs requires… advanced artificial growth techniques. Accelerated development. Sometimes in the end product, that goes to inculcation, there is still … residual … tissue, and you get basically, … cancer. That is what it is. I … guess it’s not called cancer because it comes about differently … and of course it’s a malfunction of a biomorph … and not human suffering.
That’s all. Incubation terminology.”

The corridor again.

Residuals.

A thought, a memory clawing its way to the surface, desperately trying to escape from underneath thick ice, before it suffocates and sinks back into the deep.

At Realignment & Reassignment they did that.
Checking for ‘residuals’.

Residual deviation.

We never knew exactly what they’d be looking for in those tests, we never knew if they’d really send you to 'that place' if you failed, and we never knew exactly what happened there.

After the tests they had us shovel fertilizer.
Shovel it and fill bags with it.

They wanted us to get dirty with it, that acrid powder that got everywhere, gritty, caustic, on your skin, in your hairs on your lashes in your eyes in your nose in your mouth in your lungs and ... everywhere.

Shovel till you fall over and then you’d sleep right there on those sacks you filled.

And the guard said,
“So much for ‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down’ - if I were you I’d rather be ground down than ground up!”.

And he laughed into our dirty dusty faces streaked with sweat and tears and we looked at each other and our hands and the shovels and we froze, what, what, WHAT was it we were shoveling.

Then whips cracked and we all started again.

It took us some time to figure out… they were just playing with our minds.

But at R&R, weeding out the residuals was about making sure we didn’t carry anything over from our old life, the wrong one, into our Realigned one.

It was just a little as if they were turning us into ‘blanks’ …

but a biomorph, an actual blank, going from Incubation to Inculcation …

it doesn’t have an old life to carry anything over from, does it?

And … playing with minds … isn't that what we're doing here...?


Oops!
Don’t make a fool of yourself. Like almost running into people.
Where was my mind?
Look up!
Inspirational slogans. And there, on the doorway to the Inculcation row, it’s been there forever but now it seems to jump at you, some cynic – that is, someone like the whole damn lot of us some cynic went and taped it up, a helpful reminder for us all ...


NO EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT ”
Impressive Malins
 
An episode to drive frozen fingers into the soul but then I think it is meant to.
Well yes, this one might move the needle on a loathometer, it's a rather bleak scenario.
I guess from the ruminations on the original thread, I ran with the aspect of 'unequal creation' and the, umm, problematic notion of treating a conscious mind as a product that's assembled, analyzed, perhaps trained for some utilitarian purpose or just discarded.
People who work on that project accept their own accelerating dehumanization, even if they have a ... 'residual' ... conscience, like the 'Gray' character might still have, who sees humanity as
a tiny weed poking up between the cracks, trampled and trodden upon but stubbornly, senselessly refusing to die.
Maybe one of the 'biomorphs' who has successfully gone through Incubation, Inculcation and Integration will have to be the last torchbearer of a human spirit...
 
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Well yes, this one might move the needle on a loathometer, it's a rather bleak scenario.
I guess from the ruminations on the original thread, I ran with the aspect of 'unequal creation' and the, umm, problematic notion of treating a conscious mind as a product that's assembled, analyzed, perhaps trained for some utilitarian purpose or just discarded.
People who work on that project accept their own accelerating dehumanization, even if they have a ... 'residual' ... conscience, like the 'Gray' character might still have, who sees humanity as

Maybe one of the 'biomorphs' who has successfully gone through Incubation, Inculcation and Integration will have to be the last torchbearer of a human spirit...
Wait a moment...

I don't have a blue loathometer! Only a red one!

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

:doh:
 
Hum, I dont really understand what you're trying to search? to explain? there, malins ...
Perhaps that my English is not suffisciently well known or perhaps that it's my brain which is not enough developped ?:D
Though, among all that, I've found some quest of the deep reasons for having this need of pain which is rooted into us (into me, at least...)
Never I've found any valuable reason ; perhaps some taste for the nude suffering body ? No, it cant be only that ! I also wish the pain, MY pain ! I cant have my fulfillment without any suffering ...
But WHY ?!
Am I really planned for that ? Are we ?
It seems ... I've not other explanation ...
But , suppose that I could never discover that ?! What about my target'life ? I'm sure that it's not possible ... or if some people are discovering their real nature and are gainsaying it ?!!!
What a pity for them !
Anyway, I'm persuaded that we all have a guardian angel who is in charge of our fate ...
Could he be you , malins ?
Have I to see this "story" into this way ?
I take it looking like this ... even if I'm wrong, you guide me into this direction; even if never I could answer these questions, you, at least, pilot me into the deep meanders of my (un)conscious and I thank you ...
 
Hum, I dont really understand what you're trying to search? to explain? there, malins ...
I'm not really ... explaining, -- searching/ exploring might be more of it.

It was inspired by Phlebas' AI Crux thread, but (as is my nature) goes off on a tangent right away. I'm not so much interested in the 'technical' aspect of AI,

I'm exploring questions of what it might mean to be human, how people become dehumanized when they accustom themselves to denying other people's humanity, or suffering.

Also yes the essentiality of pain and suffering to human existence, but still the wrongness of falsely elevating it.

Am I really planned for that ? Are we ?
...I'm persuaded that we all have a guardian angel...

Those are things that the character of Noemi asks herself...

if we are deeply religious, we will feel we were planned for something by the Creator, who is infallible, omniscient, and in the end, we hope against all evidence, benevolent.

The Christian religion shows up in an extremely warped understanding in the world where Noemi is to be sacrificed... after millennia of disrupted transmission, their knowledge is like what we might guess of some ancient mysteries before Egypt, Babylon or Sumeria.

But, Noemi was created and planned for something not by omniscient gods, ... instead fallible people, some of whom are irredeemably corrupt and evil, others dispassionate, some maybe sensitive but they drown their consciences in laboratory alcohol. None of them are good.

Still there is perhaps something "residual" in her, something originally human, uncreated by anything but Nature or God if you should believe, that has escaped all cruelties of the process she went through. Because maybe it isn't true she was entirely created from nothing ...

And yes, someone told her a story once about something that .... might be a guardian angel,
a sister in the sky, whose soul had been poured into an invincible suit of armor. It was especially Instructor Lys who had often told stories that challenged her understanding; it had taken her much time and pain to understand that there were things to learn from stories even if they weren’t true.
Of course Biblical angels of great power tend to be male but in my story ... a 'sister in the sky in an invincible suit of armor' might just be a guardian angel. And yes, supposedly that story isn't true. That might mean it's not true literally (just like ... things in the bible...) -- or maybe in some way it is true, but 'Instructor Lys' was just making sure that if anyone ever asked Noemi about that particular story, she'd say it wasn't true, because it's actually a form of subversive information that Lys has passed on to Noemi ;)

this need of pain which is rooted into us
Pain had not existed. That had been her nearly fatal flaw.
She knew that without pain, she could never have become herself.

Pain is in fact essential for our humanity in a way that we don't realize until we either imagine (which isn't really possible) -- or at least conceptionally encounter -- the consequences of what it means to not feel any pain at all. It is indeed a condition that can become fatal...

see https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insensibilité_congénitale_à_la_douleur
"Automutilation pour comprendre leur corps" -- that is what Noemi does at the beginning of part #4
Strips of pale translucent skin. Pulled from pulsing red. Peel, probe, dig. Deeper. See what comes up. See what is underneath. Where do I begin?
but then, thanks to Instructor Lys, she is ... introduced to pain.
If she had a true mother it was pain, the pain that had proven her worthy.
It had shaped her into what she was so it was no wonder that it was her destiny.
When she heard a voice inside her head it was most often that of Instructor Lys.
I am very proud of you today. We've made it through the entire session and I haven't had to push the button once!
Ouch! Don't we all love 'Instructor Lys' already (maybe that is a person who should deservedly end up on a cross...)

the deep meanders of my (un)conscious
Sometimes I guess I just let that take over a bit and then see what I can make of it. Obviously this is in truth, neither really a science-fiction story, even though it's got a galactic empire; and it's not really any kind of BDSM story, even though it's got a girl who's sacrificed, ... to be honest I don't know what it is or exactly where it's going.
 
Also yes the essentiality of pain and suffering to human existence, but still the wrongness of falsely elevating it.
Though that I can note that in a BDSM sceance, I get a point of pain which permits the access to a real pleasure , so, we can say that it's elevating the suffering when we practice that ...
But the question is : why am I needing to do these experiments ; in fact, I'm so much attracted by the pain that I cant live without !
I dont know if all bdsm'adherents are wondering but I cant avoid to cogitate about that ...


"Automutilation pour comprendre leur corps" -- that is what Noemi does at the beginning of part #4

Yes, I've read a book written by a girl who practised that ... But it's not my "cup of tea" ; though ! Concerning my own level, when I'm so much satisfied in seeing my body striped by the whip'lashes, is it not the same research ?
In fact, the danger is coming when we couldn't feel any pain ... But is it really possible , besides this disease ?


to be honest I don't know what it is or exactly where it's going.

Is it necessary, malins ? You made me wondering so much questions in writting this ..... episode / story / tale ? ..... :clapping:
 
Nope. The distinction between grey and blue came through perfectly for me, and looks nice against a black background too.

Honestly, Malins, I find so much richness in this story. I am re-reading it now. Shifting scenes, prophetic imagy, asylum language, apocalypse, ominous foreboding, twists and turns ... my imagination runs riot.
this is really good Malins ...i am very impressed with this story!!!
 
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