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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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phlebas

PRIMUS POENUS
Staff member
Covid version of classic film, it would have been cheaper to make this way
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I was there
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Wisdom of the gods
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Use your time wisely
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Sometimes it must be so tempting
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old slave

FELIS RESPICIENS
Anyone else left to insult?

A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell
him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for
money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes."
After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies,
what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female
neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to
sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren,
five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the
crematorium used to be.

A man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of
the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared.
Then one evening he died when he was 98.
After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her, asked, "Aren't you
afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and
haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down and I know
he won't ask for directions."
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
One Nation Underground was the debut album by American psychedelic folk group"Pearls Before Swine". It was released on the ESP-Disk label in October 1967. Since I was a lad of only 19, you know I couldn't have been involved in any of that psychedelic shit yet. But I did buy the original album which included a foldout poster of the Hell panel from Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights, a detail of which was used on the front of the album sleeve.
Hieronymus_Bosch_-_The_Garden_of_Earthly_Delights_-_Hell.jpg(Reminds me of some CF stories - and not in a good way!)
The album became the most successful ESP release ever. (ESP didn't have many big hits)
One song on the album which didn't seem to come out of a drug-induced haze was a sweet little love song
(Oh Dear) Miss Morse
Unfortunately, it was this song, not the very druggy rest of the product that caused the album to be banned from most radio stations.
Can you guess why?
 

sympazero2

Cruciformae Studiosus

“What’s the greatest invention is history?”
“Greatest invention in history? That’s easy – the Thermos!”

(UK= the Flask)
“The Thermos? How so?”
“You put in hot, you get hot. You put in cold, you get cold.

How does it know??”
Mel Brooks – ‘The 2000 year-old Man’
 
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