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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Silent_Water

Governor
I think, I once saw an episode of "CSI Las Vegas", in which the fictional "Ph. D. Gil Grissom" is carrying a dead small pig into his laboratory and the policeman asks him, what he will do with it. Grissom answers in the German synchronisation: "We found a dead human body in a house fire still burning and I will burn this pig as long as the human body probably burned in order to find out when the burning of this body started. Pigs are very similar to humans in many ways, you know!?!"
The policeman: "I am long enough policeman not to be surprised by your statement any more!"

Last week-end, there was an attempted theft in Germany in Berlin-Grunewald, appropriately at the "Teufelssee" (= Devil's Lake"), which is partly a nudist party scenery. Usually, the nudists there are warned that thiefs may try to steal money from their clothes, but this time the thieves were "Wildschweine" (= "Wild boars" in oppsite to the "Hausschweine" which are "domestic pigs") and this time, it was even a criminal "Wildschwein-Mutter" ("Wild boar's mother") trying to teach their little kids how to steal laptop-bags from humans, probably selling them later to some other "Wildschwein"-criminals.

This is now an official arrest warrant picture of the German police in order to find this criminal "Wildschwein"-family and it is not "photoshopped"! The lady who published this picture via Twitter even has the permission of "the naked man" to publish it. The naked man was lucky because the criminal mother was slowed down by the brown pizza carton of which she stole the pizza before and she stepped into the cumbersome carton during her escape. So, she left the yellow bag with the laptop falling in the nearby forest:

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Marcella

Spectator
FB_IMG_1596535373204.jpg Am I seeing this correctly? Who seems to have the hard-on here? Hm? What am I missing? (Please pardon me if I'm not sufficiently woke to realize that some women can have penises too!)

FB_IMG_1596634415553.jpg Hilarious! Maybe not PC, but very funny nonetheless. If you are offended, I would say" "Get a life!"

FB_IMG_1596717285154.jpg His thoughts might just as easily be her thoughts.

FB_IMG_1596719909357.jpg To be fair to they guys, the dino is quite small and not anywhere near the focal point of the image. Put the girls off to the side a bit and make the dino a bit larger. At least then they'll have a fighting chance to prove they are not pigs.

(Wait, wait, wait! What was I thinking? You could put the dino life-size right behind behind the girls and guys would still not see it first! They'd be fantasizing about what the girls look like nude before they'd see the dino.;))
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
I think, I once saw an episode of "CSI Las Vegas", in which the fictional "Ph. D. Gil Grissom" is carrying a dead small pig into his laboratory and the policeman asks him, what he will do with it. Grissom answers in the German synchronisation: "We found a dead human body in a house fire still burning and I will burn this pig as long as the human body probably burned in order to find out when the burning of this body started. Pigs are very similar to humans in many ways, you know!?!"
The policeman: "I am long enough policeman not to be surprised by your statement any more!"

Last week-end, there was an attempted theft in Germany in Berlin-Grunewald, appropriately at the "Teufelssee" (= Devil's Lake"), which is partly a nudist party scenery. Usually, the nudists there are warned that thiefs may try to steal money from their clothes, but this time the thieves were "Wildschweine" (= "Wild boars" in oppsite to the "Hausschweine" which are "domestic pigs") and this time, it was even a criminal "Wildschwein-Mutter" ("Wild boar's mother") trying to teach their little kids how to steal laptop-bags from humans, probably selling them later to some other "Wildschwein"-criminals.

This is now an official arrest warrant picture of the German police in order to find this criminal "Wildschwein"-family and it is not "photoshopped"! The lady who published this picture via Twitter even has the permission of "the naked man" to publish it. The naked man was lucky because the criminal mother was slowed down by the brown pizza carton of which she stole the pizza before and she stepped into the cumbersome carton during her escape. So, she left the yellow bag with the laptop falling in the nearby forest:

View attachment 886303
That story brings to mind
A Dissertation Upon Roast Pig
By Charles Lamb
Regarded as one of the first essay s of humor in English, he describes how a Chinese peasant first discovered how to make Roast Pig. Very similar to the story above and hilarious. If you haven't read it, do so!

Beyond pigs, there are still signs of the times
Simplified nutritional label:
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A word to the wise (is sufficient)
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Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
To be fair to they guys, the dino is quite small and not anywhere near the focal point of the image. Put the girls off to the side a bit and make the dino a bit larger. At least then they'll have a fighting chance to prove they are not pigs.

(Wait, wait, wait! What was I thinking? You could put the dino life-size right behind behind the girls and guys would still not see it first! They'd be fantasizing about what the girls look like nude before they'd see the dino.;))
The first thing I notice is that some litter-lout's dropped a cup on the footpath.
Oh, and that woman needs to attend to her shirt buttons.
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
Where The Sidewalk Ends
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
and before the street begins,
and there the grass grows soft and white,
and there the sun burns crimson bright,
and there the moon-bird rests from his flight
to cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
and the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow
and watch where the chalk-white arrows go
to the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
and we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
for the children, they mark, and the children, they know,
the place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein
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Danger -those with peanut allergies:
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phlebas

PRIMUS POENUS
Staff member
The Olsen Twins were born on June 13 1986...
That hasn't changed.
View attachment 887478
Neither has the fact that these aren't them.

================
1986, bloody hell time passes!

Here's one for lovers of BDSM and ancient/early medieval history

117645098_10223002330181803_4534004682331949333_o.jpg
 
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