Now This Just Isn't Funny

[Deleted member 33472]

A German Shepard, a Doberman and a cat died and went to Heaven. They appeared before God on his throne.
God asked the German Shepard: "What do you believe?"
The Shepard replied: "I believe in discipline and obedience to my master."
God said: "Very good. You may sit at the right side of my throne."
God asked the Doberman the same question>
The Doberman replied: "I believe in fiercely protecting my master and his property."
God said: "Very good. You may sit at the left side of my throne. And now, cat, what do you believe."
The cat, who had been casually grooming himself this whole time, looked up and said: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

I've heard something similar before, but the three pets were the last three presidents of the US. The role of the cat had the present one.

 

[Crux-Emperor Baracus X]

 

[Crux-Emperor Baracus X]

 

[Deleted member 33472]

 

[Barbaria1]

View attachment 932469

This is the good news regarding swallowing???

 

[Loxuru]

This is the good news regarding swallowing???

What are these sperm cells complaining about fatigue? After swallowing, it's just all the way down!

 

[Hugin&Munin]

I don't think anyone told them which way they were going and that everything in the stomach is over anyway.

 

[Deleted member 33472]

This is the good news regarding swallowing???

What are these sperm cells complaining about fatigue? After swallowing, it's just all the way down!

Sometimes they have to go the way twice due to some gag reflex.

 

[Deleted member 33472]

 

[Loxuru]

View attachment 932902

Next, wife hires a male nurse to do the job!

 

[Deleted member 33472]

View attachment 932904 Next, wife hires a male nurse to do the job!

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

At last I've identified what's wrong with me

Statistics can be confusing

Message for Barbara

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Always tough to be last

Here in SC, a pool can be a blessing

Men always find a solution. Sometimes it just takes a while.

 

[old slave]

Men always find a solution. Sometimes it just takes a while.

Best estimates are that cricket 'boxes' were first worn about 1850, helmets in 1978. Make up your own joke about a game when you go in when you're out and you have one short leg and one long leg.

 

[Wragg]

 

[malins]

 

[connoisseurs]

I never was a fan of salads - until my wife bought this food slicer.

 

[malins]

View attachment 932469

These guys are up against one in a bazillion odds

Oral Sex, a Knife Fight and Then Sperm Still Impregnated Girl

A woman with a birth defect that left her without a vagina still got pregnant after she was stabbed shortly following oral sex with her partner. Doctors say the bittersweet story shows the incredible survival of sperm.

abcnews.go.com

 

[Deleted member 33472]

Unbelievable ! The real life writes the best stories.

These guys are up against one in a bazillion odds

If you are the winner of a race nobody asks about odds anymore.

And an advise for all of you (amazone)girls : Don't get into a fight after a fellatio !

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Self Understanding is vital:

A plague (not COVID) on both your houses.

Less than a month left in 2020, Whew!