Aslin nee 8ball
Governor
This time Lily and I did not occupy the same cell. Instead our cells were side by side, the same cells we occupied when Lily was gang raped by the guards. The cement wall between our cells prevented me from taking her into my arms and trying to comfort her. Instead we were able to reach our arms thru the bars and grasp hands. She sobbed obviously in pain from her whipping, as I stroked her hand gently, telling her everything would be ok even though I had no idea it would.
Her sobs stopped for a moment and she spoke with a feeling beyond her years “ I am so sorry that I was not stronger, so sorry that you must offer your virginity to that monster because of me … most of all I am so sorry that I have let you down” I was comforting her like a mother would comfort a child but I could feel the love in her voice and it wasn’t the love of child for her mother. Lily finally nodded off to sleep, our fingers entwined. I felt so much love for Lily, a love that up until this point, had been absent from my life.
The rest of the day passed all too quickly and the realization of what the evening would bring was hanging over me. I was beginning to feel very anxious. I began to think of my former life… how did I end up here? It was my brothers fault , I hate him. I am paying for his weakness. I am paying for his greediness. I realize that his decision kept us alive but to what end. Was my life to be one of constant misery. So far I hadn’t been beaten, hadn’t been raped. Was it because I was an anomaly because I was a virgin? What would happen after Cruel Eyes raped me tonite. Can you even call it rape if I do crawl to him and offer my body. Is it rape if I don’t try to stop him, if I don’t fight back. I squeezed Lily’s hand, I would think of her when the time came. Just like I saved her from further beating and another rape….she would be my savior when my virginity was taken from me.
They let me shower before it was time to go to him, it felt so good but the prospect of what was to come weighed heavily on me. I wanted so much to disappear. Become invisible. Return to my former life. I thought of Lily . I touched myself. I found the spot that Lily’s tongue had lingered not all that long ago. I moaned, my body responded. I gasped trying to prolong my ecstasy and soon I released all my pent up emotion. I stood, spent and resigned to my fate. Lily would get me thru this.
They made me crawl to him like he had said. Naked, my hair still partially wet, hanging down, they made me crawl in chains from my cell, down the long hallway, to his bed chamber. I entered his bedroom, only then was I allowed to kneel. I knelt with my head bowed, my hands clenched in front of me. He lay on the bed, smiling, his piercing cruel eyes assessing my body like he did at the auction. His robe open, his manhood already standing at attention. They started to remove my chains……
( to be continued)
Her sobs stopped for a moment and she spoke with a feeling beyond her years “ I am so sorry that I was not stronger, so sorry that you must offer your virginity to that monster because of me … most of all I am so sorry that I have let you down” I was comforting her like a mother would comfort a child but I could feel the love in her voice and it wasn’t the love of child for her mother. Lily finally nodded off to sleep, our fingers entwined. I felt so much love for Lily, a love that up until this point, had been absent from my life.
The rest of the day passed all too quickly and the realization of what the evening would bring was hanging over me. I was beginning to feel very anxious. I began to think of my former life… how did I end up here? It was my brothers fault , I hate him. I am paying for his weakness. I am paying for his greediness. I realize that his decision kept us alive but to what end. Was my life to be one of constant misery. So far I hadn’t been beaten, hadn’t been raped. Was it because I was an anomaly because I was a virgin? What would happen after Cruel Eyes raped me tonite. Can you even call it rape if I do crawl to him and offer my body. Is it rape if I don’t try to stop him, if I don’t fight back. I squeezed Lily’s hand, I would think of her when the time came. Just like I saved her from further beating and another rape….she would be my savior when my virginity was taken from me.
They let me shower before it was time to go to him, it felt so good but the prospect of what was to come weighed heavily on me. I wanted so much to disappear. Become invisible. Return to my former life. I thought of Lily . I touched myself. I found the spot that Lily’s tongue had lingered not all that long ago. I moaned, my body responded. I gasped trying to prolong my ecstasy and soon I released all my pent up emotion. I stood, spent and resigned to my fate. Lily would get me thru this.
They made me crawl to him like he had said. Naked, my hair still partially wet, hanging down, they made me crawl in chains from my cell, down the long hallway, to his bed chamber. I entered his bedroom, only then was I allowed to kneel. I knelt with my head bowed, my hands clenched in front of me. He lay on the bed, smiling, his piercing cruel eyes assessing my body like he did at the auction. His robe open, his manhood already standing at attention. They started to remove my chains……
( to be continued)
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