xso
Tribune
Break the legs of both crucified women, then take them down=all 4 newly arrived can be crucified!
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The False Prophetess
- Thread starter _CADRE_
- Start date
Bondage_Bettafish1
Condemned
I dunno, I kinda like the idea of them having to draw straws to see who gets crucified first and who has to watch and wait for their turn
xso
Tribune
Another smashing good episode! More please!
SkinnyCrux
Magistrate
K
ker lee
Guest
I love your way on describing the breaking of legs, it provides me a reference when I drafting commission to other artist
xso
Tribune
Keep the toon sketches, they add to the impact! Love this story, very good work!
kisses Possum
Hangnail
Tribune
Great combo of images + story.
Editor's comments:
p54,56 Golgatha -> Golgotha
p54,74 "Leacherous" -> "lecherous"
p60 "She look" -> "She looks"
"Thigs" ->"Thighs"
p66 "these woman" -> "these women"
The two women begging and competing to be taken down is so brilliant!
p72 "bitter survival" sounds weird. This sentence would be better as a simple contrast: "Now it was bitter pain or sweet relief"
"eatch" ->"each"
"Th emen" weird line break
p79 - 80 it looks weird that only her head has moved. If her leg has just been smashed she should be flinging herself all over the place.
I personally don't like the white cartoon star-splash. The image on its own is strong enough.
p87(1) "all of the tissue and veins.. were" -> "all of the tissues and veins.. were"
"instanly" -> "instantly"
p90 It's weird that Calliope's head and hair doesn't cast any shade on the crossbeam under her head.
p92 I love how her hand is grasping his....
Editor's comments:
p54,56 Golgatha -> Golgotha
p54,74 "Leacherous" -> "lecherous"
p60 "She look" -> "She looks"
"Thigs" ->"Thighs"
p66 "these woman" -> "these women"
The two women begging and competing to be taken down is so brilliant!
p72 "bitter survival" sounds weird. This sentence would be better as a simple contrast: "Now it was bitter pain or sweet relief"
"eatch" ->"each"
"Th emen" weird line break
p79 - 80 it looks weird that only her head has moved. If her leg has just been smashed she should be flinging herself all over the place.
I personally don't like the white cartoon star-splash. The image on its own is strong enough.
p87(1) "all of the tissue and veins.. were" -> "all of the tissues and veins.. were"
"instanly" -> "instantly"
p90 It's weird that Calliope's head and hair doesn't cast any shade on the crossbeam under her head.
p92 I love how her hand is grasping his....
_CADRE_
Magistrate
Thank you for the awesome feedback. And yes, I made her grip his hand to add to the intimacy right before her terror
SkinnyCrux
Magistrate
Verys intensive scenes. Like it very much.
HammerTime
Guard
I love this story. Well done!!!!
dukiedog
Executioner
I have admired your work in the past. And, I realize that I'm not paying a penny for the privilege of seeing your work. You're telling a great story but for me, the comic approach distracts from the excellent artwork and your intensive approach to detail. Is there any hope of seeing the pictures without the text bubbles? Again, that's not meant as criticism on my part as it is a preference?.
Anyway, thanks again for your work and allowing us to see and read it!
Anyway, thanks again for your work and allowing us to see and read it!