• Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.

The False Prophetess

Go to CruxDreams.com
I have admired your work in the past. And, I realize that I'm not paying a penny for the privilege of seeing your work. You're telling a great story but for me, the comic approach distracts from the excellent artwork and your intensive approach to detail. Is there any hope of seeing the pictures without the text bubbles? Again, that's not meant as criticism on my part as it is a preference?.

Anyway, thanks again for your work and allowing us to see and read it!
Thank you very much. I can try to post a PDF with no talk bubbles after the story is done
 
I like the speech bubbles: they add to the vividness, giving life to the characters. Most of the speech is good and natural, e.g. on p64
"Oh Fuck I can't believe this is happening! She looks like she's in so much pain..." sounds completely natural and emotionally authentic.

In a few places the speeches sounds formal, more like academic written English than the desperate thoughts of women facing the worst fate imagineable.
For example, on p73
"Do not listen to her! Take me down and I will serve you in any way you could imagine! I swear it!"
would sound more natural as something like
"Don't listen to her! Take me down and I'll do anything you want! Anything!"
And
"I'll suck your cock until your seed is drained. I'll lick and please you anywhere that you desire." is not as natural as something like
"I'll suck your cock better than her! I'll lick it... I'll lick you anywhere you want!"
 
I like the speech bubbles: they add to the vividness, giving life to the characters. Most of the speech is good and natural, e.g. on p64
"Oh Fuck I can't believe this is happening! She looks like she's in so much pain..." sounds completely natural and emotionally authentic.

In a few places the speeches sounds formal, more like academic written English than the desperate thoughts of women facing the worst fate imagineable.
For example, on p73
"Do not listen to her! Take me down and I will serve you in any way you could imagine! I swear it!"
would sound more natural as something like
"Don't listen to her! Take me down and I'll do anything you want! Anything!"
And
"I'll suck your cock until your seed is drained. I'll lick and please you anywhere that you desire." is not as natural as something like
"I'll suck your cock better than her! I'll lick it... I'll lick you anywhere you want!"
This is perfect feedback! Thank you so much! As far as requesting their reactions while seeing Calliope crucified, I will try my best. Originally someone requested that I finish the thread because they liked the characters in an older render, I wanted to limit myself to 40 renders because I rarely finish these stories of mine. Though as I continued it just took on a momentum of its own and it’s over 250 now
 
I like the speech bubbles: they add to the vividness, giving life to the characters. Most of the speech is good and natural, e.g. on p64
"Oh Fuck I can't believe this is happening! She looks like she's in so much pain..." sounds completely natural and emotionally authentic.

In a few places the speeches sounds formal, more like academic written English than the desperate thoughts of women facing the worst fate imagineable.
For example, on p73
"Do not listen to her! Take me down and I will serve you in any way you could imagine! I swear it!"
would sound more natural as something like
"Don't listen to her! Take me down and I'll do anything you want! Anything!"
And
"I'll suck your cock until your seed is drained. I'll lick and please you anywhere that you desire." is not as natural as something like
"I'll suck your cock better than her! I'll lick it... I'll lick you anywhere you want!"
And the details are wanting in this one. The backgrounds are bad resolution, inconsistent font errors I’ve noticed, etc. I already ha e several orher stories on the back burner planned, and I intend to keep them limited to less than 100 images. If they’re good enough, I may try to see if Renderotica wants to sell them
 
I like the speech bubbles myself, really adds to the feeling of your renders. Love the comment about the girls ribs sticking out of her chest! And the story is excellent! Maybe do a PDF with and without speech bubbles? Thanks again Cadre :) kisses Possum
 
Speech bubbles are fine with me, as long as they don't obscure the figures. Without them, we wouldn't have the "cock shrivel off with leprosy" comment. It's one of the best parts of the whole thing. I look forward to what she will say when they crucify her.
 
Via Dolorosa... Next block of renders... :devil:
I love this story and your artwork is amazing! 2 small comments: it looks to my eyes that the road and cross beams are the same color, thus making it difficult to see the beams in image 56. Also, I find the “sound effect” text not in a dialogue bubble to be unnecessary and detracting from the image.
 
.
Having suffered crurifragium, she cannot even hope to push herself upwards to breathe. Now, as she hangs only from her wrists, her chest muscles and her diaphragm become over-extended due to the weight of her body - though drawing breath is painful but possible, exhaling is now almost impossible for her. She sips little breaths in a vain attempt to satiate her lungs lust for air circulation... But she cannot grant it. Her lungs are suffocating on spent air.
.
 

Attachments

  • 103.jpg
    103.jpg
    1 MB · Views: 1,850
  • 104.jpg
    104.jpg
    1.4 MB · Views: 1,775
  • 105.jpg
    105.jpg
    1.4 MB · Views: 1,727
  • 106.jpg
    106.jpg
    813.5 KB · Views: 1,813
  • 107.jpg
    107.jpg
    794.1 KB · Views: 1,908
  • 108.jpg
    108.jpg
    751.8 KB · Views: 2,033
.
Having suffered crurifragium, she cannot even hope to push herself upwards to breathe. Now, as she hangs only from her wrists, her chest muscles and her diaphragm become over-extended due to the weight of her body - though drawing breath is painful but possible, exhaling is now almost impossible for her. She sips little breaths in a vain attempt to satiate her lungs lust for air circulation... But she cannot grant it. Her lungs are suffocating on spent air.
.
Another breath taking episode! Great stuff, thanks!
 
Thank you very much. I can try to post a PDF with no talk bubbles after the story is done
It would be excellent if you could post a PDF with or without speech bubbles. If it's a story book then it would make sense otherwise the story would have to go underneath. Not sure about the size limit, it may be 10MB but you could of course do parts 1 and 2. I'd put a copy into our Archive.
 
Back
Top Bottom