• Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.
Go to CruxDreams.com

sam1991

Condemned
I wanted her to "give birth" in some painful womb wrecking fashion to the satisfaction of the sadists like Mahdi watching. I also wanted her to die while regretting not taking the chance to escape or surrender to the idea that an orgasm could overwhelm real pain and define the meaning of life. Too much orgasm overwhelming the extreme torture is unrealistic and in contrast to a story that sketched out a very real women and early tortures. I know this is one of the tropes of the Crux torture genre-orgasm and pain finally becoming one and defining the meaning of life to its satisfied dying victim-and you followed it well. And you warned up front about the unrealistic nature of the depictions. I just got caught up in the realistic feel of it. Please do not take my criticism's too seriously however as they are just personal preferences and nit picking from an amateur writer dissecting an almost perfect tale. Frankly this is one of the hottest stories of female torture I have read in over 35 years in this scene. I literally was impatient everyday waiting for it to proceed. Such well defined characters- both sympathetic and sadistic in Mahdi and the doctor you don't see in many stories. I hated them and envied them. Her vulnerability and descent into helpless despair with just her crotch finally defining her escape from pain and the reason for it was superb. This cunt was innocent, hot and a great victim from start to finish. Yes write on about her or a new victim. Frankly I don't think she should get away with living and her ordeals should take up where they left off after a huge letdown. After a short period of recovery of course. Thanks
very nice. Magnificent piece of writing .Please dont stop writing on the forum. I would love impalement in historical era with the same attention to fine details.
Oh god i love you
 

zerns

Governor
very nice. Magnificent piece of writing .Please dont stop writing on the forum. I would love impalement in historical era with the same attention to fine details.
Oh god i love you
Thanks, I guess your familiar with my work. It's a real shame the story can't be finished at this point because of a server or computer crash. Perhaps in the future this fine writer will continue to the end with Alisa Foxen. I'm rooting for the possibility that she dies while being impaled or forced womb inflation- creatively of course. Not too much fantastical orgasmic love for having her guts skewered or womb inflated to bursting.

Allow me to add this research I found regarding the medical side of damage relative to Alisa's crucified feet. Seems once pierced and forced to carry weight she would be a cripple if rescued. But again I nit pick. I will take her torture in any form Doragon wants to put it because he does it so well, so hot and so believable.

"Although the case of Jehohanan showed that victims' feet were nailed, what about the hands? In the Gospel of John, the apostle Thomas refers to the nail holes in Jesus' hands. In the 1930s, experiments conducted with cadavers led researcher Pierre Barbet to conclude that nails driven through the palms of the hands could not have supported the weight of the arms and upper body —and that the nails were more likely driven through the wrists, which would have lent more support.

Crucifixologists also believed that the weight of the victim's body pulled down on the diaphragm, making it increasingly difficult for him to breathe and leading to death by asphyxiation.
The cruelty of the Romans would have led them to find the palms of the hands as the most painful part," Reed said. He suggested that the Romans also used wooden washers to make sure the hands and the feet couldn't be pulled away from the nails.

All that pain and exposure would have led to a condition called hypovolemic shock, based on tests that pathologist Frederick Zugibe conducted on student volunteers under closely monitored lab conditions. Blood pressure would drop, leading to irreversible organ damage, heart stoppage and death.

The University of Texas' White said he considered the nailing of the feet to be the "crucial issue" for victims of the cross.

"That's the point of no return," he said. "It's not what kills him, but that's the death blow. ... Even assuming the person could have lived when you took him down from the cross, he never would have walked again."
 

zerns

Governor

Epilogue​


Alisa was saved or was she? Was this a hallucination and did she die anyways?

I have ideas for a sequel to this story. That’s why I think she survived. Against all odds. I hope the ending scene was surprising enough and climactic enough to be satisfactory. I also hope the torture was strong enough to cause some goose bumps. I know I had some and more.

Before I write any follow up, I’d like to know if you even want a sequel. And if so, who rescued Alisa? Of course she will be nursed back to health before anything else happens to her, but has she fallen into the hands of the troops of Assad? Were these Russian troops? Or is this an American detachment? Will she be interrogated, tortured, starring in another snuff movie? Which elements of this story would you like to see again in the sequel? Which characters do you want to see returning? Charles is dead of course, but did you enjoy Mahdi, Dr. Oto, the men in the suits?

Let me know.

I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did.
As you know I want the story to return but just let me talk about your wonderful characters. As far as Mahdi goes I hope Alisa gets to shove a red hot poker up his ass before he dies. He is such a layered slimy faker he deserves a miserable death. A real toady to the Emperor kind of character. Rather then take responsibility for his sadism when talking to her he pretends he is forced to torture her to death. He mind fucks her with the empty hand of "negotiating" some details about how she will die then demands a blowjob. The crap about how she has been gifted with a life peak orgasm experience that she'll never be able to repeat is a sadistic classic of the evil gift giving God who want you to be grateful his gift is to kill you. And all the "I'm not such a bad guy" blather telling her if it was up to him it would just be a simple execution but he has no choice but to follow his "bosses" orders to torture her to death is movie weasel perfect. He's a mind fucker first class. She SHOULD see he has the freedom to fly but obviously is just sticking around to personally mind and body fuck her to death. After all If believed having a cocktail of endless orgasm with a chaser of torture was life's peak experience wouldn't he just strap himself into a cock milker and have someone torture him to death. Truth is he just believes women are sub-human fuck toys he needs to hurt and control. OK, so he does have some likeable traits! Mahdi is an excuse making sadist with visions of superiority but a deep insecurity . The doctor on the other hand just admits to enjoying torture all while displaying a real displacement from reality. An absent minded professor almost. His sexual tortures on her body are something he finds "fascinating" and that she will find "interesting"He's not misleading and he's not a mind fucker he's just not in touch with reality. A real Dr Mengele. The business and military guys are just standard issue black ops types. One being a bit more sadistic then the other. Charles is the gentleman hero and William his mind-broken partner. Charles gets what he deserved- a brave death and William is just weak and bent by pain. Maybe he didn't get laid enough.

Continue to re-read your story, gleaning different bits I missed. Just a very watertight narrative and still hot on re-reading.
 

zerns

Governor
As you know I want the story to return but just let me talk about your wonderful characters. As far as Mahdi goes I hope Alisa gets to shove a red hot poker up his ass before he dies. He is such a layered slimy faker he deserves a miserable death. A real toady to the Emperor kind of character. Rather then take responsibility for his sadism when talking to her he pretends he is forced to torture her to death. He mind fucks her with the empty hand of "negotiating" some details about how she will die then demands a blowjob. The crap about how she has been gifted with a life peak orgasm experience that she'll never be able to repeat is a sadistic classic of the evil gift giving God who want you to be grateful his gift is to kill you. And all the "I'm not such a bad guy" blather telling her if it was up to him it would just be a simple execution but he has no choice but to follow his "bosses" orders to torture her to death is movie weasel perfect. He's a mind fucker first class. She SHOULD see he has the freedom to fly but obviously is just sticking around to personally mind and body fuck her to death. After all If believed having a cocktail of endless orgasm with a chaser of torture was life's peak experience wouldn't he just strap himself into a cock milker and have someone torture him to death. Truth is he just believes women are sub-human fuck toys he needs to hurt and control. OK, so he does have some likeable traits! Mahdi is an excuse making sadist with visions of superiority but a deep insecurity . The doctor on the other hand just admits to enjoying torture all while displaying a real displacement from reality. An absent minded professor almost. His sexual tortures on her body are something he finds "fascinating" and that she will find "interesting"He's not misleading and he's not a mind fucker he's just not in touch with reality. A real Dr Mengele. The business and military guys are just standard issue black ops types. One being a bit more sadistic then the other. Charles is the gentleman hero and William his mind-broken partner. Charles gets what he deserved- a brave death and William is just weak and bent by pain. Maybe he didn't get laid enough.

Continue to re-read your story, gleaning different bits I missed. Just a very watertight narrative and still hot on re-reading.
Sorry for all the typo's and run-on sentences, including missing words. My mind moves quicker then my fingers.
 

Doragon

Governor
This is a great candidate for inclusion in the archive!
I've been meaning to put my stories (this one and the sequel) in the archives, but I cannot find any guidelines for it. I assume I am not supposed to simply drop it in there as I see nobody doing that.
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
I expected as much. I'll ask them.
We've got our Madiosi on the case. He's a busy man, but I'm sure your stories deserve a place in the Archive and the e-book library.
 

Madiosi

Depictor of Dreams
Staff member

Doragon

Governor
View attachment 1107855
Now in the libary:

and the archive:
Thanks very much for taking my story up in the archives. I hope it will please many future readers.

Please leave a review for my story in the archives, even if you don't like it. I am pleased with both praise and criticism as it might help me get better at writing. ;)
 

TortureECT

Governor

Chapter 5: First Day, evening​


Alisa was dropped on the floor of her cell, a trail of her blood on the floor leading all the way from the execution platform. Moving was too painful but lying down on the hard and sandy floor was excruciating. She tried to get up but couldn’t. The women from this morning came to take care of her. They put her on the bed and washed her body, washing away all the blood and smearing ointments on the red swollen welts covering her entire body. They were worried about some of her wounds, as they didn’t stop bleeding, and a doctor was called. When he came, Alisa didn’t answer any of his questions. She was clearly in shock. She didn’t respond to his hands touching her breasts and inspecting her sex. With her eyes closed she heard the doctor talking with Mahdi. She didn’t understand any of the words.

“You get to live a day longer,” Mahdi finally said while the doctor gave her an injection. She hardly felt the needle and though she was worried about the contents of the injection, she didn’t express herself. While the doctor left, Mahdi resumed in an angry tone. “Apparently your skin broke in too many places and you need to heal up before we can continue with the next phase of your punishment. But don’t worry, we will keep you busy while you heal.”

He turned to leave but at the door he spoke again. “We don’t have to negotiate your wishes for the next torture yet and won’t do the required measurements until tomorrow. You rest now.”

For a few hours they left her alone. They had fed her some strong tasting broth with rice, telling her to eat and get well soon. She could sleep for a few hours. She dreamed and in her dreams her mind escaped the horrors of that day. She was in cool water, floating, green forest around her. Her eyes turned up, looking at the sky, while her fingers moved through the cool water, enjoying the sensation. She kept her body horizontal, facing upward, avoiding to touch the bottom, which was layered with slimy mud and thousands of crawly things. Without seeing, without looking down, she just knew it.

View attachment 1002117

Alisa regretted to be woken from her dream. Rough hands shook her and pulled her right up, making her forget the dream. She felt stiff and sore all over, groggy from sleep. It was a rude awakening. She wrapped her arms around her while she watched them bringing an old buck from a gymnasium, placing it in the middle of the cell. She whimpered as she got dragged to her feet and how her aching body was rudely draped over it. Her wrists and ankles were secured to the legs of the buck. Alisa was trembling as she expected something horrible was going to happen again. Had she not endured enough?

“You will receive some visitors,” said Mahdi, while he smeared lubricant on her anus. “High placed officials that want to inspect you personally. I will instruct them to only fuck you anally, to spare your sore pussy, alright? We don’t want you to start bleeding again.”

Alisa had never had anal sex before in her life. Only a finger had ever been pressed inside her rectum. Naturally she wept while she was alone in the small cell, trembling and waiting for what was coming, feeling both scared and filled with sorrow about her predicament. She could not understand how people could be so cruel to do the things to her they had done during the day and then add this to it as well.

When the door opened, she froze and visibly trembled. An Arabic voice spoke to her, a gruff voice that spoke without even a hint of compassion. She groaned when a finger rubbed around her anus. She heard a zipper opening and soon something hard was pressed against her while hands spread her buttocks. She wailed when the hard penis was shoved unceremoniously into her anus, pushing deeper still, reaching all the way up inside her rectum. Then the man started to pump his dick into her while his hands were caressing her aching back, tracing the welts from her whipping with his fingers. Alisa was shaking with pain from the brutal thrusts in her back passage and wept as she felt extremely violated.

The man didn’t cum inside her anus. Instead he pulled back and sprayed his semen over her lower back. He then used his hands to rub the semen into the red welts and broken skin, causing a further burning sensation on her skin. Without another word the man left, leaving her sobbing and shaking.

The door opened soon after and another man entered who spoke to her in broken English. “Ah, there she is,” he said, “the beautiful vixen.” He slapped her butt, making her grunt in pain. “No pussy he said, but you and I know, you like better, no?” Alisa groaned and gasped when she felt him press his penis against her swollen pussy lips and then enter her aching vagina. “Show me orgasm,” said the man while he started pumping his penis hard and brutally into her vagina.

“You like, yes?” he asked while he fucked her slow but with hard and deep thrusts. He also pushed a thumb into her anus.

“You cum now, many times,” he said, expecting her to perform. She groaned and grunted with each thrust and felt very far from being aroused. This was only painful.

The man then looked down and saw his penis covered with blood. He gasped angrily, pulled back and slapped her butt. “You have period? Menstruate? Impure!” He slapped her buttocks several times, hard and punishing, making her weep in pain. He then angrily put his penis away and went for the door. She could hear him talking angrily outside and then more angry voices. Mahdi came in and inspected her bottom. Seeing how the wounds on her pussy lips had opened up again, he had seen enough. “You are not having your period,” he said, tapping his hand on her sore butt. “Very silly to have him fuck your pussy, but I won’t punish you until tomorrow. You are done for today.” He left and there were more angry voices outside from all the men he was sending off.

The two women were called in again to release her, dress her wounds and put her to bed. Finally she was allowed to sleep.



"
The man then looked down and saw his penis covered with blood. He gasped angrily, pulled back and slapped her butt. “You have period? Menstruate? Impure!” He slapped her buttocks several times, hard and punishing, making her weep in pain.""

GREAT LINES

because females in their "families" are almost always pregnant , so they never see a female with periods or menstruation

Cruel and evil and sad
 

TortureECT

Governor
@Doragon

Amazing story

Lovely intricate details of female organs part torture like womb cervix clitoris vaginal cavity breasts etc....

Seductive erotic dirty talks when her overseers talked with her

The way they try to humiliate and torture her by using their culture as an example or taking methods from it or punishing her as she is a whore according to them

Highly Detailed Cruel Mad long tale of a poor girl gets caught in an islamic nation for having sex or posting photos on the net

The way the the crowd hates her was wild
How she became pregnant
Milking
Gave birth many times

Etc ......
Many other details in a Cruel and carefully written insane Novel by @Doragon
 

SkinnyCrux

Magistrate
For about 6 or 7 weeks I am translating this really exciting story into German. It will take at least 4 or 5 weeks to finish it. But in the end I will consider if Alisa will live to see her own rescue or if she will die short before she is taken down from her cross. Depends on my mood at this point. But there is one thing that really amazes me: I also translated @jedakk s "The Throwaway Girl" into German. And I noticed that the way Alisa Foxen's crucifixion is very similar to that of Ellie Ruck. Is this a coincidence? If yes: Why? If no: Why not? ;) Just my questions to which I do not expect an answer. :) Back to the essence: Perhaps anyone is interested in the German version. If @Doragon will allow me to post it.
 

Wragg

Chronicler of Crux
Staff member
If @Doragon will allow me to post it.
If he is happy, can you post it as a pdf attachment please? Rather than as open text on the thread.
 

Doragon

Governor
For about 6 or 7 weeks I am translating this really exciting story into German. It will take at least 4 or 5 weeks to finish it. But in the end I will consider if Alisa will live to see her own rescue or if she will die short before she is taken down from her cross. Depends on my mood at this point. But there is one thing that really amazes me: I also translated @jedakk s "The Throwaway Girl" into German. And I noticed that the way Alisa Foxen's crucifixion is very similar to that of Ellie Ruck. Is this a coincidence? If yes: Why? If no: Why not? ;) Just my questions to which I do not expect an answer. :) Back to the essence: Perhaps anyone is interested in the German version. If @Doragon will allow me to post it.
Wonderful that you are translating it, I really appreciate that. As for the similarity between my story and the one from Jedakk, I admit I was very much inspired by his story The Throwaway Girl. A wonderful story. But I added and changed sufficient aspects of the story I believe to make it an entirely new story. Funny you discovered this link though. :)
I do request you make the story end the same way as I have written it. At the end I decided the story needed a follow-up story and so I wrote a sequel, Further Ordeals of Alisa Foxen, which required Alisa to survive. Maybe in time you decide to translate that story as well.
 

SkinnyCrux

Magistrate
Wonderful that you are translating it, I really appreciate that. As for the similarity between my story and the one from Jedakk, I admit I was very much inspired by his story The Throwaway Girl. A wonderful story. But I added and changed sufficient aspects of the story I believe to make it an entirely new story. Funny you discovered this link though. :)
I do request you make the story end the same way as I have written it. At the end I decided the story needed a follow-up story and so I wrote a sequel, Further Ordeals of Alisa Foxen, which required Alisa to survive. Maybe in time you decide to translate that story as well.
I found it. But I can tell you already now: There will be no "Further Ordeals of Alisa" in German. I skimmed that story. It is longer than the first one and contains no crucifixion. And I think I am right if i suppose that this story is told in the same way as the first one. My motto is: too much becomes boring. So I ask for understanding that I for sure will not translate the sequel in German. I also can't imagine that Alisa is that stupid and lets Mahdi catch her up again... ;) But perhaps she wants that... I don't know, because I have not read the second part! ;) But I promise to end the german version the same as your english version. At least the version I will publish - if anyone will be interested. ;) My private version ends the way I want it to end. ;)
 

Doragon

Governor
I found it. But I can tell you already now: There will be no "Further Ordeals of Alisa" in German. I skimmed that story. It is longer than the first one and contains no crucifixion. And I think I am right if i suppose that this story is told in the same way as the first one. My motto is: too much becomes boring. So I ask for understanding that I for sure will not translate the sequel in German. I also can't imagine that Alisa is that stupid and lets Mahdi catch her up again... ;) But perhaps she wants that... I don't know, because I have not read the second part! ;) But I promise to end the german version the same as your english version. At least the version I will publish - if anyone will be interested. ;) My private version ends the way I want it to end. ;)
It's your choice if you translate the second part or not. But even then, I ask you to keep this first story as it is, with the ending it has. That's my prerogative as the writer, right? ;)
 
Top Bottom