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Deleted member jedakk
Guest
I'm sure the ending didn't please everyone! Every scenario I thought of that included Ellie's death on the cross seemed like a dead end to me. Ok, now she's dead and everyone else just picks up their lives where they left off and forgets her. That would have been the reality had she died. As I thought about it, the other major stories I wrote going back to "Faithful Sayings" in 2003 ended with the protagonist's death. "Altered States" took Maia's story through death to the other side, where the two girls' souls finally split apart. Maia's going on to a druid afterlife while Cat's went back to her body in the present time.
I thought it would be too predictable for me to kill off Ellie, too. So I decided it was time for a rescue instead. But that couldn't be TOO predictable, either, so I introduced a sniper whose goal was to shoot Ellie and end her suffering. I created Thomas Ruck, Ellie's brother, and made him an ex-army sniper. I went all the way back to the day of Ellie's execution and had her introduce his name into the story when the medic asked if she had anyone who should receive any effects she had. I had him live alone in Montana. I recently read "Way Station", a 1963 SF novel by Clifford Simak and modeled Thomas Ruck's daily trips to the mailbox with his dog after the main character in that novel. I had a friend who cooked and ate a rattlesnake, so I added that in too.
I had to do some research to learn exactly what rifle a sniper might use to shoot a girl on a cross. The current US military sniper rifle is the Barrett MRAD, which can be chambered for a number of different size cartridges. A popular one is a Winchester .308, so that's what Thomas Ruck has. The sound from a rifle like that is a "bang-crack" - the bang of the rifle firing and the crack from the tiny sonic boom the bullet makes in supersonic flight. The bang can be suppressed, not completely silenced, by a sound suppressor which also hides the muzzle flash at night. If Thomas Ruck could have used sub-sonic ammo, the bullet would have been silent in flight. But the bullet would have flown in an arc like a rainbow, so for accuracy's sake he needed to fire supersonic ammo. One of those bullets would drop to sub-sonic at about 600 yards, so I moved the Neches River far enough west to make it a 672-yard shot. :-D A writer has such incredible power!
The parts about Thomas Ruck opening his mouth, letting his jaw go slack, and firing between heartbeats are things snipers say they do.
The yaupon thicket Thomas Ruck is lying in is typical of east Texas, where the story takes place. Yaupon looks like a hedge bush on steroids. It grows to about fifteen feet tall, has trunks up to about four inches in diameter, sometimes bigger. It's one of those plants that differentiates into male and female, like holly, with the female growing red berries and the male growing pollen-producing flowers of sorts. It often grows close together and way too thick to walk through. I know because I grew up here.
Other things, the rescue truck with the heavy crane on the back is typical for Fire and Rescue units. The reciprocating saw or "sawzall" they used is a standard piece of equipment for them too. I don't know about anesthesia vs. powerful stimulants - I made that up.
I thought it would be too predictable for me to kill off Ellie, too. So I decided it was time for a rescue instead. But that couldn't be TOO predictable, either, so I introduced a sniper whose goal was to shoot Ellie and end her suffering. I created Thomas Ruck, Ellie's brother, and made him an ex-army sniper. I went all the way back to the day of Ellie's execution and had her introduce his name into the story when the medic asked if she had anyone who should receive any effects she had. I had him live alone in Montana. I recently read "Way Station", a 1963 SF novel by Clifford Simak and modeled Thomas Ruck's daily trips to the mailbox with his dog after the main character in that novel. I had a friend who cooked and ate a rattlesnake, so I added that in too.
I had to do some research to learn exactly what rifle a sniper might use to shoot a girl on a cross. The current US military sniper rifle is the Barrett MRAD, which can be chambered for a number of different size cartridges. A popular one is a Winchester .308, so that's what Thomas Ruck has. The sound from a rifle like that is a "bang-crack" - the bang of the rifle firing and the crack from the tiny sonic boom the bullet makes in supersonic flight. The bang can be suppressed, not completely silenced, by a sound suppressor which also hides the muzzle flash at night. If Thomas Ruck could have used sub-sonic ammo, the bullet would have been silent in flight. But the bullet would have flown in an arc like a rainbow, so for accuracy's sake he needed to fire supersonic ammo. One of those bullets would drop to sub-sonic at about 600 yards, so I moved the Neches River far enough west to make it a 672-yard shot. :-D A writer has such incredible power!
The parts about Thomas Ruck opening his mouth, letting his jaw go slack, and firing between heartbeats are things snipers say they do.
The yaupon thicket Thomas Ruck is lying in is typical of east Texas, where the story takes place. Yaupon looks like a hedge bush on steroids. It grows to about fifteen feet tall, has trunks up to about four inches in diameter, sometimes bigger. It's one of those plants that differentiates into male and female, like holly, with the female growing red berries and the male growing pollen-producing flowers of sorts. It often grows close together and way too thick to walk through. I know because I grew up here.
Other things, the rescue truck with the heavy crane on the back is typical for Fire and Rescue units. The reciprocating saw or "sawzall" they used is a standard piece of equipment for them too. I don't know about anesthesia vs. powerful stimulants - I made that up.
Very well done!!! Congrats on the whole story 
