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Trabbian Justice Jungle Hell

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On the third lash, one of the knots sliced into Priya’s left nipple, causing blood to well up and begin trickling down her breast. The pain was hideous. The fifth lash hit in the same spot and the flow increased. Priya howled, barely able to remain conscious. When he had given the sixth lash, Fong laid the whip down and came right up to Priya. “I really enjoyed that,” he said.


This flogging scene is very well done, but in all honesty I have to confess that I find the use of actual people's names - and the names of very nice people that I have come to e-know a bit, at that - as characters both distracting and disconcerting. For me it trivializes the harrowing plight of the prisoners, making it almost cartoonish to one who is not already steeped in that tradition. I don't mind flirtatiously using the name of a character in a throwaway line or vignette, but as a central figure in a story ... it just sucks a lot of the erotic tension out of the story. For me.

I have no illusions that I'm going to change the local customs, of course. :)

I welcome opposing views and perhaps an insight into how this strange (to me) practice took hold.
 
This flogging scene is very well done, but in all honesty I have to confess that I find the use of actual people's names - and the names of very nice people that I have come to e-know a bit, at that - as characters both distracting and disconcerting. For me it trivializes the harrowing plight of the prisoners, making it almost cartoonish to one who is not already steeped in that tradition. I don't mind flirtatiously using the name of a character in a throwaway line or vignette, but as a central figure in a story ... it just sucks a lot of the erotic tension out of the story. For me.

I have no illusions that I'm going to change the local customs, of course. :)

I welcome opposing views and perhaps an insight into how this strange (to me) practice took hold.

I was planning to discuss this on my PM thread, but since you've brought it up here, why not?

I share your sentiments to a fair extent, Boccaccio. The other two Trabbian stories are fictional characters only. This was one of two "serious" stories I have done with multiple people from here (the other was "The Pirettes of Ocracoke", which had some hard scenes but was light-hearted in spirit). I probably won't do any more. The exception of course is that Barb is in most of the rest, but that has to do with the collaborative nature of the stories.

Some of the women here have said, "I like to imagine myself in the story", which is certainly very reasonable and in fact desirable. But my question to you guys is can't you do that regardless of the name of the character? My name isn't Huckleberry Finn, but I can read Twain and imagine myself floating down the mighty Mississippi. The story would move me no more if he were called windar or my real name.

But it's a true fact (not an alternative one) that you will get more comments and likes if the story is called "The Re-education of Barbara Moore" than if it were called "The Re-education of Susan Johnson". As for when this quaint custom began, that would be before my sojourn here began.:p
 
I was planning to discuss this on my PM thread, but since you've brought it up here, why not?


I was thinking of doing that, but I thought that it was only fair that I give "Jungle Hell,", the third story in your Trabbian Trilogy, a shout out in the listings so that other new members would have a chance to check it out. It's a well-written saga, (as are all your stories,) but for me the elements of menace and peril are greatly diminished by the 'just-for-fun' use of the names of friends, however attractive and charming and interesting and talented those friends might be.

Having given that shout-out, would you like me to re-post #205 on the PM thread? You can follow with #206 and then I can re-post #207, if you feel that others might like to comment, but fear that doing so here would kind of hi-jack this story thread?
 
I was thinking of doing that, but I thought that it was only fair that I give "Jungle Hell,", the third story in your Trabbian Trilogy, a shout out in the listings so that other new members would have a chance to check it out. It's a well-written saga, (as are all your stories,) but for me the elements of menace and peril are greatly diminished by the 'just-for-fun' use of the names of friends, however attractive and charming and interesting and talented those friends might be.

Having given that shout-out, would you like me to re-post #205 on the PM thread? You can follow with #206 and then I can re-post #207, if you feel that others might like to comment, but fear that doing so here would kind of hi-jack this story thread?

OK, point taken. I wrote Trabbian Justice 1 & 2 before I came here, so there are no board characters in those. Then, some people started asking if they could be in one, so I put them in #3. And that was fun so I put everyone in Pirettes. Then, I had done that, so I only do that now for humorous stories, like "Saturnalia" which I did as a Christmas present for the board.

But, actually in the case of this story it adds an element of realism. The women have been in the work camp for several months when we meet them, so the guards who beat them and the warden who orders the beating know them very well (in several senses of the word:p:D).

No need to discuss this in two places, I think.

But thanks for bringing the story forward and I'm really glad you liked it.
 
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Excellent, Well written. Also a rare to find such stories featuring East Indian women need more. Its not too kinky :p its just right :). Enjoyed it.
Cheers
 
Excellent, Well written. Also a rare to find such stories featuring East Indian women need more. Its not too kinky :p its just right :). Enjoyed it.
Cheers

Thank you very much:). Have you read the first two in the series? Priya is an interesting character-I need to come back to her at some point.
 
Thank you very much:). Have you read the first two in the series? Priya is an interesting character-I need to come back to her at some point.

No, but ...... Will get to reading them eventually. Too many stories too little time :confused:. I wanted to render one scene for Priya and wanted to make it look authentic with Wheatish or Brown Skin......... lets see if I can dig up time.
Cheers
 
I read the story last year, and the excellent flogging somehow made me think of these pics I knew I had somewhere on my highly disorganized computer. Then I drifted away and forgot about it. Anyway, it's how I imagined the lovely Priya recovering after her flogging. I just LOVE these whip marks. Aren't they beautiful?
 

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For those who may be interested, I found the TV whipping scene featuring the shots of those whip marks. I spent some time the other day looking for it, to no avail. Then just stumbled on it by accident a few minutes ago. It's a nice scene, though I think we can all agree a woman should be stripped naked for such a punishment...
 
It's a nice scene, though I think we can all agree a woman should be stripped naked for such a punishment...
Well found Jackie.
Pp agrees that a woman should be stripped...or whip-stripped as eul describes....but He notes that none of those watching her whipping seem too excited and doubts that any of them would find their way to this forum :D.
 
For those who may be interested, I found the TV whipping scene featuring the shots of those whip marks. I spent some time the other day looking for it, to no avail. Then just stumbled on it by accident a few minutes ago. It's a nice scene, though I think we can all agree a woman should be stripped naked for such a punishment...

For a back whipping such as this, full nudity is not essential, but she should be stripped to the waist. Allowing her to cover her tits is bad form IMO. And the whipping doesn't look severe enough to have caused the marks shown in the pictures, but the make-up artists can do wonders.
 
Yeah well, if they ever capture the perfect public whipping scene on video, I can then die a happy girl. :p

The woman in the video lets out a nice scream or two. And her facial reactions were very well done. She really looked as if she was suffering....
 

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Now windar, that has been a wonderful culmination of the Trabbian-Trilogie. As a newbie I cant assess if you have drawn an apt description of Eulalia, Barbaria and Dorothy, but following the threats there wasnt any complaint from one of them.
I´m sure Priya will at least once a year return for a week or two (or three) of holiday, maybe in conjunction with her three new friends. As much fun as the whippings have been, I think she still needs another caning. So nothing too strenuous, like only 12 to 18...
 
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