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Trial time for Barbaria

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I strongly recommend that my counsel, TheHangingTree, take it upon himself to immediately denounce the scandalous mistreatments to which I am being subjected by the prosecutorial team. Mooreover, I insist that he stipulate, should such mistreatments persist, that in all fairness, my codefendent, Eulalia, be subjected to same or preferably worse!
 
I strongly recommend that my counsel, TheHangingTree, take it upon himself to immediately denounce the scandalous mistreatments to which I am being subjected by the prosecutorial team. Mooreover, I insist that he stipulate, should such mistreatments persist, that in all fairness, my codefendent, Eulalia, be subjected to same or preferably worse!
Demanding Tree do anything is futile, Barb...
 
I strongly recommend that my counsel, TheHangingTree, take it upon himself to immediately denounce the scandalous mistreatments to which I am being subjected by the prosecutorial team.
:idea:It was not a crash! In the summer of 2013, a hypersurfacial transversal wormhole has passed through CF! The singular localized hyperinflating effect of it, has put all the CF members into a Schrödinger parallel universe, creating the perception of information loss in some threads.:hydrogen:

CF still exists intact, just beyond an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, than can easily be located by using Kruskal-Serkerez coordinates. From there, you can travel back to the summer of 2013, and find an undamaged Forum, you can reset, using an enhanced electron-degenerate Schwarzschild quantum tunneling effect.:abduct:

That is exact science, strong as a rock, and proves your innocence! Just ask Tree to explain that to the judge!:icon_tfno:
 
:idea:It was not a crash! In the summer of 2013, a hypersurfacial transversal wormhole has passed through CF! The singular localized hyperinflating effect of it, has put all the CF members into a Schrödinger parallel universe, creating the perception of information loss in some threads.:hydrogen:

CF still exists intact, just beyond an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, than can easily be located by using Kruskal-Serkerez coordinates. From there, you can travel back to the summer of 2013, and find an undamaged Forum, you can reset, using an enhanced electron-degenerate Schwarzschild quantum tunneling effect.:abduct:

That is exact science, strong as a rock, and proves your innocence! Just ask Tree to explain that to the judge!:icon_tfno:
In an alternate universe, that all makes perfect sense........
 
:idea:It was not a crash! In the summer of 2013, a hypersurfacial transversal wormhole has passed through CF! The singular localized hyperinflating effect of it, has put all the CF members into a Schrödinger parallel universe, creating the perception of information loss in some threads.:hydrogen:

CF still exists intact, just beyond an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, than can easily be located by using Kruskal-Serkerez coordinates. From there, you can travel back to the summer of 2013, and find an undamaged Forum, you can reset, using an enhanced electron-degenerate Schwarzschild quantum tunneling effect.:abduct:

That is exact science, strong as a rock, and proves your innocence! Just ask Tree to explain that to the judge!:icon_tfno:
Yes, that would be possible and because the black matter that races around the black hole makes everything invisible, no one could see the contents of CF anymore.
 
The Gentlemen Ushers of the Black Bin Bag enter the Court bearing the ceremonial Eulsack, and deposit its contents alongside Barbaria in the dock. A drowsy, naked eulalia is restored to her normal state of blissful incomprehension with a few strokes from the Senior Usher’s Black Rod. Peering around (deprived of her CF viewing spectacles) she takes in her surroundings, observes the formidable figure of the Judge, and falls instinctively into a pose of slave-girl obeisance.

‘Arise, defendant Lalia!’ barks the Clerk, eul hastily gets to her feet and stands in display posture, legs well parted, hands behind head, breasts lifted, head humbly bowed.

‘You are the the official slavegirl of CruxForums known as eul Lalia?’ asks the judge.

‘Yes, m’lud, this girl has that honour.’

‘Do you recognise the prisoner beside you in the dock?’

‘Oh yes, m’lud, she’s Barbaria. Everyone knows her.’

‘And did she cause the Great Crash of 2013?’

‘No m’lud.’

Gasps of horror and disbelief from the crowded courtroom, cries of ‘Liar! Torture her!’

‘Order in the Court! The defendant will undoubtedly be subjected to the full range of most ingenious tortures man’s creative genius can devise ...’

‘Oh, thankyou, m’lud.’

‘... but not just yet. Firstly, tell us what you know about the Great Crash.’

‘Well m’lud, if was actually this girl who caused it ...’

Again the court erupts in howls of disbelief. The Clerk rises and hammers his desk with an enormous gavel, causing the naked figure in the dock to quiver in excitement. The clamour subsides, the prisoner continues,

‘It happened, m’lud, when the highly advanced extra-temporal intelligence that governs CruxForums decreed that all members accessing the site would have to pass through a hypersurfacial transversal wormhole in order to emerge in the parallel universe that is CruxForums. Unfortunately, this technologically catastrophic slavegirl in the course of her duties observed a spammer attempting to make entry from a well-known area of dark matter in the Indian subcontinent ...’

eulalia glanced at the Judge, hoping for some sign that her words were being understood. Getting none, she took a deep breath, causing her bosom to undulate in a way that regained the attention of the Judge and of the almost entirely male membership of the Court, and continued,

‘she operated the entropic accelerator that instantly reduces spammers to absolute zero, not realising that within the new system the same effect would be replicated by action at a distance in the entire membership...’

The Judge looked startled, ‘You mean ...?’

‘Yes, m’lud, every member was locked out, even the mighty ImageMaker, lord of the universe and all the best crux videos in it!’

And there was silence in the courtroom for the space of half an hour ...
 
The Gentlemen Ushers of the Black Bin Bag enter the Court bearing the ceremonial Eulsack, and deposit its contents alongside Barbaria in the dock. A drowsy, naked eulalia is restored to her normal state of blissful incomprehension with a few strokes from the Senior Usher’s Black Rod. Peering around (deprived of her CF viewing spectacles) she takes in her surroundings, observes the formidable figure of the Judge, and falls instinctively into a pose of slave-girl obeisance.

‘Arise, defendant Lalia!’ barks the Clerk, eul hastily gets to her feet and stands in display posture, legs well parted, hands behind head, breasts lifted, head humbly bowed.

‘You are the the official slavegirl of CruxForums known as eul Lalia?’ asks the judge.

‘Yes, m’lud, this girl has that honour.’

‘Do you recognise the prisoner beside you in the dock?’

‘Oh yes, m’lud, she’s Barbaria. Everyone knows her.’

‘And did she cause the Great Crash of 2013?’

‘No m’lud.’

Gasps of horror and disbelief from the crowded courtroom, cries of ‘Liar! Torture her!’

‘Order in the Court! The defendant will undoubtedly be subjected to the full range of most ingenious tortures man’s creative genius can devise ...’

‘Oh, thankyou, m’lud.’

‘... but not just yet. Firstly, tell us what you know about the Great Crash.’

‘Well m’lud, if was actually this girl who caused it ...’

Again the court erupts in howls of disbelief. The Clerk rises and hammers his desk with an enormous gavel, causing the naked figure in the dock to quiver in excitement. The clamour subsides, the prisoner continues,

‘It happened, m’lud, when the highly advanced extra-temporal intelligence that governs CruxForums decreed that all members accessing the site would have to pass through a hypersurfacial transversal wormhole in order to emerge in the parallel universe that is CruxForums. Unfortunately, this technologically catastrophic slavegirl in the course of her duties observed a spammer attempting to make entry from a well-known area of dark matter in the Indian subcontinent ...’

eulalia glanced at the Judge, hoping for some sign that her words were being understood. Getting none, she took a deep breath, causing her bosom to undulate in a way that regained the attention of the Judge and of the almost entirely male membership of the Court, and continued,

‘she operated the entropic accelerator that instantly reduces spammers to absolute zero, not realising that within the new system the same effect would be replicated by action at a distance in the entire membership...’

The Judge looked startled, ‘You mean ...?’

‘Yes, m’lud, every member was locked out, even the mighty ImageMaker, lord of the universe and all the best crux videos in it!’

And there was silence in the courtroom for the space of half an hour ...
Priceless!!! :rimshot::clapping::beer:


Does this mean I go free?
 
Of course! And in chains!
The cruellest torture for Barb so far: those shoes!

40114-jpg.917337
 
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