We Three Blokes of Orient Aren't

[Wragg]

A star sign delivered the news:
Behold! A new Queen of the Jews!
Her name is Barbaria
She’s known in this area
For her constant complaints about shoes.

You can undertand why Herod is so fond of him!

 

[Quiet Paul]

A star sign delivered the news:
Behold! A new Queen of the Jews!
Her name is Barbaria
She’s known in this area
For her constant complaints about shoes.

Hmmm....shoes...the least of her worries when she’s nailed to a cross, I would guess

 

[montycrusto]

Hmmm....shoes...the least of her worries when she’s nailed to a cross, I would guess

You would be surprised.. such things are uppermost in @Barbaria1 ’s mind even at times like those

 

[Barbaria1]

Hmmm....shoes...the least of her worries when she’s nailed to a cross, I would guess

Wait a minute!!!!

Who said anything about nails and crosses?

Thought this was about shoes. And besides, I can’t be dethroned and crucified yet. I’ve barely gotten accustomed to wearing a crown, and Wragg has a lot more story to tell.

 

[Barbaria1]

You would be surprised.. such things are uppermost in @Barbaria1 ’s mind even at times like those

I’ve got demerits in mind if this line of postings continues ...

 

[Eulalia]

One or two humps?

you can have one hump and four camel toes,
or two humps and one camel toe.
(pic credit our CamCrux)

 

[montycrusto]

The dromedary is a beast,
It carries wise men from the East.
Despite being grumpy
And stubborn and lumpy,
They all love their camel, at least.

 

[Jollyrei]

“BARBARIA!!!!”

This rattled Jollyrei and me a bit.

“I say, Bob…” Jollyrei had to raise his voice over Marcella’s screams, and the racket the crowd was making, “this isn’t quite what I was expecting. I thought star signs announced the birth or the crowning of someone, but Barb’s reign doesn’t look as though it’s going terribly well.”

Quick assessment of the socio-political issues, and the way the Romans have of just hammering nails into them.

My cowardice got the better of me. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get out of here! Asia Minor beckons!”

Your cowardice? I will now show you my collection of white feathers - off to Asia Minor!!

“I wish you’d quit wittering on about Asia Minor, Wragg!” Jollyrei was exasperated. “There’s more to life than belly dancers!”

I don't even know this person you're writing here anymore, you know?

He though it wise to bow. Jollyrei and I followed his example.

No doubt. Fierce three eyed clergy types always are a bit of a trick.

Jollyrei, as usual, was less discreet. “Nineteen? Is that his age or his shoe size?”

Okay, I'm feeling the part again now.

Twonines spoke again. “As I told you, sir, these are the Three Wise Men foretold by the prophets.”

Careful, lads. We've been under occult surveillance it seems. These guys might be dangerous.

“Right-ho!” I said. “Well, thanks anyway! We’ll be off on our way to Asi….” I shut up as Jollyrei kicked me, hard.

See, there I go again, and you doing all this wise stuff like heading off to Asia Minor. I must watch myself.

“He could be a she.” Jollyrei, helpful as always.

Someone should probably tell me to shut up.

 

[montycrusto]

Barbaria’s such a fine lass,
Jerusalem’s gates she must pass.
But not on a horse
Or a camel, of course,
But instead on her tight little ass.

 

[Jollyrei]

“Actually, Bobinder, that was very good! Clever. I liked it. You can live. Now then, what brings you to Jerusalem?”

Fortunately the king seems to have more of an intellectual bent than we thought at first. Really, I thought our number was on that one. Whew.

“Sire, we crowned Barbaria Queen of the Jews only yesterday.”

Wheels within wheels here.

 

[montycrusto]

While Herod knocks back his best tipple,
He sees in the crowd a faint ripple.
“She’s coming!” they mutter,
“Barbaria, utter
Doyenne of the Tumescent Nipple!”

 

[twonines]

When as a Queen, Barbaria was hailed,
Herod`s sense of humour soon failed.
He thought her a usurpress,
And declared her to be surplus,
And said to a cross she`d be nailed.

 

[Wragg]

While Herod knocks back his best tipple,
He sees in the crowd a faint ripple.
“She’s coming!” they mutter,
“Barbaria, utter
Doyenne of the Tumescent Nipple!”

How do you do it, Monty???

Careful, lads. We've been under occult surveillance it seems. These guys might be dangerous.

Might?

 

[montycrusto]

How do you do it, Monty???

@Barbaria1 can be very inspiring

 

[Wragg]

@Barbaria1 can be very inspiring

That's true... she does something and I inspire sharply!

 

[Barbaria1]

While Herod knocks back his best tipple,
He sees in the crowd a faint ripple.
“She’s coming!” they mutter,
“Barbaria, utter
Doyenne of the Tumescent Nipple!”

When as a Queen, Barbaria was hailed,
Herod`s sense of humour soon failed.
He thought her a usurpress,
And declared her to be surplus,
And said to a cross she`d be nailed.

 

[montycrusto]

And lo! the blessed demerits fall, even as the dew that droppeth from Heaven

 

[bobinder]

Actually, Bobinder, that was very good! Clever. I liked it. You can live.

How extremely fortunate - to have paid homage to King Herod and been allowed to continue breathing in return!
Now, I wonder - what does it take to get an audience with Salome...?

 

[Jollyrei]

Now, I wonder - what does it take to get an audience with Salome...?

I suspect we'd have to get Herod out of the palace for the evening. Maybe Wragg and I could stage a diversion...

 

[Wragg]

I suspect we'd have to get Herod out of the palace for the evening. Maybe Wragg and I could stage a diversion...

Hang on... Yes! I do happen to have seven veils on my camel!