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Who's invented it?

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dfg42

Senator
My next story, warning: Spoiler!, will concentrate on the invention of crucifixion. As we all know the romans did it, but did not invent it. And since I am swiss and we all know, that swiss people invented all things needed for a world worth living such as cheese with holes, milk chocolate, the knife without MacGuiver would already be dead, the zipper without our penis would allways dangle out of the trousers, the potato peeler and even the internet was invented in Switzerland. There is a commercial explaining the world that even bonbons with herbs were invented in Switzerland not Finnland or brasil



But how is this possible? Well we all know that the bellum-book of Caesar is the worst piece of political propaganda ever written, so the war against the Celts never happened the way he described, but we get the hints from there.

The hint is the mentioned battle of Agen where Divico ( a hero which was planned to be popularised against Willhelm Tell) as leader of a Celtic tribe destroyed a legion under Gajus Julius Longus (or Longinus), we know a final scene after the battle.

3adb85c07ddad1838a3adf1ecedf0348.jpg

But how could you destroy a roman legion? Naturally with my favourite weapon, the mortar. And why are the romans nude in the pic (yes they are not nude on the painting), but in reality they were nude, that was even pointed in my school lesson I get at 12!

Okay, and you will also learn, that viagra is much older than you thought, or what else is the reason Celtic warriors were nude and in blue?

gaulish_naked_fanatic_by_jfoliveras_ddlg11v-fullview.jpg

and who invented viagra? You know. it!



So the title is here allready


The final orgasm of Gajus Julius Longus.
 
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Just found out that the roman troops defeated at Agen, were commanded by Lucius Gassius who had to transport Jugurtha from Africa to Rome... that is interesting, now I know how the idea came to the Celts!
 
My next story, warning: Spoiler!, will concentrate on the invention of crucifixion. As we all know the romans did it, but did not invent it. And since I am swiss and we all know, that swiss people invented all things needed for a world worth living such as cheese with holes, milk chocolate, the knife without MacGuiver would already be dead, the zipper without our penis would allways dangle out of the trousers, the potato peeler and even the internet was invented in Switzerland. There is a commercial explaining the world that even bonbons with herbs were invented in Switzerland not Finnland or brasil
Don't forget the cuckoo clocks and the Swatch :)

Personally I think that Switzerland's greatest export was the dark eroticism of HR Giger...
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Well, I have the outline of the story. ;-) This time more crucifixion, but as allways in my writings there is a little to much of gay world, but that naturally that also explains why the official story telling does not know the true story. ;-)
Yes, I know H.R. Giger, the paintings are cruel, such as his sculptures. https://www.la-gruyere.ch/de/Z10276/hr-giger-museum
 

Wow, thanks for those amazing Gigers! I wasn’t specifically aware of such erotic images, new hobby for the weekend! :)
 
Wow, thanks for those amazing Gigers! I wasn’t specifically aware of such erotic images, new hobby for the weekend! :)
You're welcome. If you want to find more like that, do a google search for "giger erotomechanics" and "gigerotica" - HRG put a lot of dark sexuality into most of his work right from the start, and it's all out there on google images :)
 
1619208085923.png

Messaline's 'Mountain Dream'

and a little grin-song from me
with apologies to Longfellow:

The evening Angelus had rung
Excrucior! Excrucior!
Above the Alpine village hung
Excrucior! Excrucior!
A girl whose cruel fate was plain,
Nude, nailed, a cross, atrocious pain
Excrucior!​
 
and who invented viagra? You know. it!
It was invented by British scientists working for the US company Pfizer. It was supposed to treat high blood pressure, but didn't work, though they noticed an interesting side effect...

As for crucifixion, my personal belief is that it never actually happened (yes I know about the the skeletons with nail holes-those were clumsy carpenters) and was vicious anti-Roman propaganda, the original "fake news"...
 
It was invented by British scientists working for the US company Pfizer. It was supposed to treat high blood pressure, but didn't work, though they noticed an interesting side effect...

As for crucifixion, my personal belief is that it never actually happened (yes I know about the the skeletons with nail holes-those were clumsy carpenters) and was vicious anti-Roman propaganda, the original "fake news"...
In some sense, your reality is much more away from the world that exist, as my invented stories will ever be. And I have heard the official story how sildenafil was discovered, too.
 
View attachment 998913

Messaline's 'Mountain Dream'

and a little grin-song from me
with apologies to Longfellow:

The evening Angelus had rung
Excrucior! Excrucior!
Above the Alpine village hung
Excrucior! Excrucior!
A girl whose cruel fate was plain,
Nude, nailed, a cross, atrocious pain
Excrucior!​
That's beautiful! How haven't I seen that before?
 
My next story, warning: Spoiler!, will concentrate on the invention of crucifixion. As we all know the romans did it, but did not invent it. And since I am swiss and we all know, that swiss people invented all things needed for a world worth living such as cheese with holes, milk chocolate, the knife without MacGuiver would already be dead, the zipper without our penis would allways dangle out of the trousers, the potato peeler and even the internet was invented in Switzerland. There is a commercial explaining the world that even bonbons with herbs were invented in Switzerland not Finnland or brasil

and who invented viagra? You know. it!

Other Swiss inventions: LSD, Laudanum, DDT & Muesli.

And, in point of fact, the Romans didn't invent crucifixion. They got it from the Carthaginians who likely brought it with them from Phoenicia.
 
You saw it but forgotten ... or perhaps that judging that it was made by a new young girl , it wasn't worthwhile ...

It was made on July 2012 and I was coming to CF on January 2012 ...
surely worthwhile, however the situation for me looks more like china than a village in the Alps, but most will only see the nude and beautiful girl anyway. But for my story is that there ugly roman soldiers will crucified instead.
 
You saw it but forgotten ... or perhaps that judging that it was made by a new young girl , it wasn't worthwhile ...

It was made on July 2012 and I was coming to CF on January 2012 ...
Well, I shan't forget it again! :)
 
One of the running jokes in 'Asterix and the Helvetians' is, that the Helvetians, the ancient Swiss, are obsessed with keeping everything clean. So, I assume that, whoever who gets crudified there, be it a crux girl or captured Romans, it will be on a very clean cross!:rolleyes:
 
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