-
Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.
Crux Trek - A Taste Of Crucifixion
- Thread starter Jollyrei
- Start date
It was our holodeck !!!
This rodent makes always nonsenses !
How could we reach our deep orgasm, now ?
View attachment 553649
Looking at that picture, how can you not??!!
And it's very nice of you, too. We'll see what sort of nice reward we can devise for you.View attachment 553693 I do my best
Meanwhile, here's another chapter...
I get to read a chapter on Saturday evening?And it's very nice of you, too. We'll see what sort of nice reward we can devise for you.
Meanwhile, here's another chapter...
Yay, I thinkAnd it's very nice of you, too. We'll see what sort of nice reward we can devise for you.
Meanwhile, here's another chapter...
Chapter 11
Captain Wragg and Lt. Phlebas met Doctor Bobinder on level 5 of the saucer of the Cunnilingus. The ship was strangely quiet, doubtless because Chief Engineer RacingRodent and his trusty sidekick, Malins, had the engines offline to repair them. There were the normal scenes of a starship in battle and damage control mode in the corridor as the two men got off the lift, notably a lot of men looking serious, and women in very short skirts looking concerned all rushing in different directions.
“Do these people actually do anything useful during a crisis,” asked Phlebas, “or do they just run up and down the hallways.”
“Oh, I’m sure they all have crucial jobs,” said Wragg. “Big starship. Lots of things to do.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” said Phlebas, “but that woman there had an “Interplanetary Botanist” badge on her uniform. Hard to think that an attack by the Dark Princess would concern her.”
“She’s probably worried that a photon torpedo might hit her greenhouses or something,” said Wragg.
“We have a greenhouse?” asked Phlebas.
“Who knows,” said Wragg. “Worth checking, but now we need to find three women who are being threatened by a legion of Romans.”
“Maybe the Romans are threatening the greenhouses,” said Phlebas.
“Ah,” said Wragg, “here’s the good Doctor.”
“Look,” said Bobinder as he reached the other two officers, “I’m a doctor, not a tactician, but do you think three of us is enough against a whole army of Romans. You heard the Squirrel. They’re real Romans now, not just holo-projections.”
“I think we will rely on the element of surprise,” said Wragg. “They don’t know we’re coming.”
“Do we know where they are?” asked Phlebas.
“Holodeck 3,” said Bobinder. “That’s where Barb and Siss were going.”
“Barb and Siss are there too?” asked Wragg. “You seem to have very little control over your patients.”
“Yeah, well, the healing of nail wounds is easy,” said Bobinder, “but this elixir thing makes them obsessed with orgasms, and they went off as soon as they could walk to Holodeck 3. They said that was where Messaline had her scenario set up.”
“What sort of scenario?” asked Phlebas.
“I don’t know,” said Bobinder. “They pushed past me and were gone before I could call anyone to restrain them.”
The three men carried on down the corridor to another lift which took them to the holodecks.
“Right,” said Wragg, “here’s number 3. Phasers on stun, gentlemen. We don’t want to accidentally kill any of about 5 sex-obsessed women we might find in here. Mr. Phlebas, you get the door, would you?”
Phlebas keyed the door latch and the holodeck door slid open silently.
“Um,” said Bobinder, “did you expect this?”
“No,” said Wragg, pointing his phaser left, and then right. The three men stood and stared into the holodeck.
“Anyone see the girls?” asked Phlebas.
“No,” said Wragg, “can’t see anything for all these Roman legionnaires standing about the place.”
“What do you make of it?” asked Bobinder. “It looks like a Victorian boudoir to me…”
“Filled with Roman soldiers,” said Phlebas.
“Odd,” said Wragg.
“Well done though,” said Bobinder. “You said you were relying on surprise. Well, I’m surprised.”
It was indeed the picture of what Messaline would have thought of as a Victorian era boudoir. There was a fair bit of pink, with fine fabrics, and solid looking elegant furniture, at least what they could see of it. Most of the room however was standing room only with several hundred Roman soldiers, all armed with spears and short swords, standing shoulder to shoulder. Wragg stretched up on his toes to see over the soldiery.
“There’s a sort of large bed, and a big wardrobe thing,” he said. The girls seem to be tied to the posts of the bed and to the wardrobe.”
“Really,” said Phlebas with perhaps too much enthusiasm. “Er, what are they wearing?”
“Nothing,” said Wragg, “or near as I can make out.”
“They were coming here looking for orgasms,” said Bobinder. “People tend not to wear much for that.”
“So what are the Romans doing here,” asked Phlebas.
“They seem to be trying to make some space to swing their whips,” said Wragg. “As you can imagine, they might be concerned that the whip only hits the target, not all the bystanders as well.”
“I can see how that might be a problem for them,” said Bobinder.
“I’m just surprised that they’re dealing so well with the fact that they materialized in a lady’s bedroom,” said Phlebas.
“You think whipping 5 naked girls is a normal reaction to finding oneself in a bedroom?” asked Wragg.
“Look,” said Bobinder, “surely the point is that we’ve got to get the girls out of there!”
“I think it might be easier to get the Romans out of there,” said Phlebas.
“Good thinking, that man,” said Wragg. “Okay, how?”
About that moment, a couple of the Romans turned to look at the now open door and saw the three officers. They didn’t look particularly pleased to see them, and said a few things that nobody understood.
“What did he say?” asked Bobinder.
“No clue,” said Wragg, “but he doesn’t look friendly. I did hear him say “centurion”, so perhaps he’s calling an officer.”
Sure enough, a tall Roman with a red broom on his helmet pushed through the crowd of soldiers and glared at Wragg. He pointed and said a few words in latin.
“No idea, old boy,” said Wragg genially. “Thing is, you’re on my ship, and you’re trying to flog my crew. It’s just not on. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
The centurion became more irate, standing to his full height of at least 5 foot 9 inches (even tall Romans were short). He gestured in a nicely pre-Italian manner and his speech became agitated.
“Well,” said Wragg to Phlebas. “You’re our cultural and intelligence expert. What’s up?”
“If I make out the Mediterranean idiom correctly,” said Phlebas, “he believes we’re enemies and is contemplating having us killed.”
“How would you know that?” asked Bobinder.
“Perhaps the fact that these men are all pointing their spears at us now…” said Phlebas.
“Okay,” said Wragg. “Time for some decisive action. Everyone stun one of those guys, and then run for it.”
The three officers each fired a phaser, which stunned three of the menacing looking Roman soldiers. It also surprised the centurion, who jumped backwards. Wragg, Phlebas, and Bobinder took this moment of confusion to turn and run down the corridor. It wasn’t long before the entire legion or cohort was in pursuit.
“This is some plan you have going,” said Bobinder. “Now what?”
“Just keep running,” said Wragg. “I’m sure to think of something.”
“Do you suppose that’s the whole legion behind us?” asked Phlebas, “or did they leave someone back there to flog the girls?”
“Just keep running, for now,” said Wragg. “Head for the cargo bays. That’s where we lost them before.”
In the engine room, RacingRodent and Malins and their crew of red-shirted engineers were getting the engines back online.
“Should have engines ready to go in about 10 minutes,” said Malins.
“Yeah,” said the Squirrel, “if some idiot doesn’t fire a torpedo through them again. And the warp coils are still set up wrong. If we turn on the warp engines now, we’ll probably end up inside the planet or something. I want to reset them to normal.”
“Right,” said Malins. “I’ll get a crew on it.” She gave some orders and four of the red-shirts went off into the warp maintenance area.
RacingRodent got out his squirrel sized comm link. “Hi Captain,” he said. “We’ll have engines soon. Try not to get us killed for about another 10 minutes, would you?”
“Can’t talk,” said Wragg’s voice. “Bit busy with some Romans. Get those warp coils the right way round, would you? All the holodeck stuff is real now, and these Romans mean business.”
“Did he say, Romans?” RacingRodent asked Malins. She shrugged and kept working on her engine console.
“Yes,” said Wragg in annoyance, “he did! There are about a thousand of them, and they’re chasing me Bobinder and Phlebas on level 5. We’re headed for the cargo bays. Someone needs to check what’s going on in holodeck 3.”
“Look,” said RacingRodent to Malins, “you know what has to be done here. Just finish it and get those engines online. I’ll go see what’s up on the holodecks and then head for the bridge. Try not to get crucified by Romans in the meantime.”
“Right,” said Malins.
RacingRodent headed into the lift and headed for Holodeck 3. The corridor was littered with bodies of people now, all exhibiting some sort of stab wound. Several of the more red-shirted ones were dead, but there were lots of wounded as well. He called sick bay for medical teams, realizing that the Doctor was currently being pursued into the cargo bay area of the ship and was not in any position to render aid.
Apart from that, nobody stopped him, and he reached the open door of Holodeck 3 without mishap. There were only about ten soldiers left there, two of which had whips and were administering scourgings to the 5 women tied to the furniture of the holodeck. At the moment, it was Messaline receiving most of the attention, although the Archon’s daughter was hanging unconscious from one of the posts of a large oak bed, her back criss-crossed with whip marks.
Messaline was dancing to the whip now, as the Roman lictor laid it on. Barb was shouting encouragement, probably to Messaline, but one of the other Romans gave her a lash across her bottom to make her shriek and stop shouting. None of them paid the slightest attention to a large squirrel entering the room. Perhaps a squirrel was the least surprising thing they had seen all day, considering they had inexplicably emerged in a bedroom with 5 naked women in it.
They were more surprised when Messaline saw RacingRodent, and said, “Oh, my squirrel! I knew you would come!”
They were even more surprised of course, when the squirrel pulled out a phaser that seemed a size or two too large for him, and vaporized the lictor. The rest of the whipping squad panicked and ran out of the holodeck in pursuit of the rest of the legion, and away from the apparently lethal rodent. There was a minute or two of complete pandemonium as 9 Romans all charged for the exit. This meant that they all had to charge straight at the squirrel in their way.
RacingRodent gave a sharp squeak of alarm and dodged this way and that, spinning around once or twice and finally leaping for the large Victorian bed. He hit one of the tall bedposts and slid down it, landing on Messaline’s breasts, which were pressed against the wood.
“Well,” said RacingRodent, watching the departing Romans from his soft new vantage point, “that seems to have taken care of that.”
“You could maybe get us down,” said Messaline, who was, after all, closest to him after all of that. “We can do squirrel cuddling later.”
In short order, the girls were all untied from the furniture, and Messaline went with Melia (the Archon’s daughter) to get some treatment for their whippings. Eulalia, Siss, and Barb were all, as yet, unscathed by whipping, and Eulalia seemed somewhat disappointed, but there was nothing to be done about that at the moment.
“Okay,” said RacingRodent, “let’s go to the bridge.”
“Is anyone else concerned that this ship is still crawling with Romans,” asked Barb.
“One thing at a time,” said the Squirrel.
When RacingRodent, Eulalia and Barb got to the bridge (Siss had decided to follow the Romans to the cargo bays), they found things a bit tense.
“Do you see anything?” Jollyrei asked. “I thought I saw a ripple again.”
“Like a cloaked ship?” asked Loxuru.
“Yes, like that,” said Jollyrei.
“If we could lock onto it,” said Repertor, “we could shoot it. They can’t run shields when they’re cloaked, or so they say. I’d like to test that theory.”
Eulalia took her science and scanning station. “I’ll see if I can get a better scan on it,” she said.
Everyone seemed happy to have Eulalia back at her station. It was common knowledge that Eulalia, of all the crew, knew about things. She went to work.
“You know,” she said, “there’s that moment when they de-cloak, before they get their shields up…”
“…when they’re vulnerable!” said Repertor. “Load torpedoes!”
“Do we have engines yet?” asked Jollyrei.
“In about 5 minutes,” said RacingRodent from his engineering station.
“Well,” said Jollyrei, “this is tense. Anyone know where the Captain is?”
“Trying to lead a legion of Romans into the cargo bays,” said the Squirrel.
“What? Again?” asked Jollyrei. “Anyone would think that cargo bays were the natural spot for Romans around this place.”
“Only when the holodeck buffers fail,” said Barb. “We could try opening a comm link to the Dark Zone ship.”
“What would we say?” asked Loxuru. “Can you hold up attacking us for a moment? We’re trying to stop a bunch of Romans from crucifying our captain…”
“Wait a second,” said Jollyrei, “do you think that’s a possibility?”
“Well known for crucifying people, Romans,” said Loxuru. “Don’t have to be Eulalia to know that.”
“The Dark Princess likes crucifixions too,” said Jollyrei.
“I think I have a plan,” said RacingRodent. “Ms. Moore, find out where the Captain is and if he’s got those Romans in the cargo bay yet.”
“Yeah,” said Wragg to Barb, speaking into his communicator, “they’re all here, and we’ve secured the doors. Unfortunately, we’re in here too, and the Romans are saying things like “crucifixus” and other not so pleasant latin words.”
“Can you get out of there?” asked Barb.
“Not unless we can stun about 1000 Romans before they stick us full of spear holes,” said Wragg.
“Sounds dodgy,” said Jollyrei.
“Won’t the Romans just stop existing when the warp coils are set correctly?” asked Barb.
“Who can say,” said RacingRodent. “That would be true if they had stayed in the holodecks. Now they’re probably just as real as you and me, only armed with spears.”
“We have to get them off the ship,” said Eulalia, “once and for all.”
“I have an idea about that too,” said RacingRodent. “Get me Mr. Windar.”
Windar always liked the opportunity to show off his skills. He fiddled with knobs, and twiddled switches, which always made him think of other things. Then he swept his hands over the transporter energizers and Wragg, Phlebas and Bobinder appeared on his transporter pads, just as Jollyrei and RacingRodent arrived.
“Well, that was a near thing,” said Wragg.
“Bit of a lucky escape,” said Phlebas.
“Better than getting stuck full of sword points,” said Bobinder. “I’m a doctor, not a pincushion.”
“Nice one, doctor,” said Jollyrei.
“Do we have engines yet?” asked Wragg.
“Not as such,” said RacingRodent. “A few minutes, but I think we can disable the Princess’ ship. Listen…” He filled Wragg in on the plan as they raced back to the bridge.
“You’re sure those Romans are all still in the cargo hold?” asked Jollyrei.
“Yeah,” said Phlebas. “We force sealed the doors. We could just jettison the lot into deep space.”
“No, we have better uses for a legion of Romans,” said RacingRodent. The lift doors opened and Wragg stepped out onto his bridge.
“Nice to have everyone here again,” he said, nodding to Eulalia and Barb.
“Engines and shields coming back on line,” said RacingRodent. “Well done, Malins!”
“Just hold off on that for a moment. Open a channel to the Dark Ship,” said Wragg.
“Hailing frequencies open,” said Barb, as the Dark Princess showed up on the VisiScreen™.
“Hi your Darkness,” said Wragg, informally. “Just wanted to give you a moment to surrender. If you don’t, I can’t remain responsible for the condition of your ship or crew.”
“Me?” said the Princess. “Surrender? I don’t think so. You are still without shields and no sign of your engines. I think it’s time to end this. Surrender or die.”
“If that’s the way you want it,” said Wragg, and he cut the channel. “Look sharp, Mr. Windar! On my command!”
“Ready,” said Windar’s voice.
There was a shimmer on the screen as the large Dark Zone Warbird de-cloaked. “Pretty impressive, isn’t it?” said Jollyrei with some admiration.
“They’ll only be vulnerable for a second or two,” said Eulalia. “If we’re going to fire, we should do it now!”
“Energize!” yelled Wragg.
Nothing seemed to happen. There was silence. Then Windar’s voice said, “cargo away!”
The warbird finished de-cloaking, and just sat there for a moment. Then it lurched to the left, then it spun around several times, and photon torpedoes fired off into deep space.
“That should keep them busy for a bit,” said Wragg.
“Um, what just happened?” asked Barb.
“Well,” said RacingRodent, “the Dark Princess is very fond of crucifixions and floggings.”
“So we sent some people over to help her with that,” said Wragg smugly. “A nice legion of crux experts.”
"The Romans don't seem to understand the flight dynamics of warbirds yet," said Phlebas as the Dark Zone ship flashed across the bow of the Cunnilingus and shot off into space.
"I'm sure the Dark Princess will come to an understanding with them shortly," said Wragg. "Don't let's hang around to find out."
“We have engines online now,” said RacingRodent.
“Well,” said Wragg, “our work here seems to be done. Back to federation space, Mr. Loxuru. Warp 7 if you please.”
To be continued…
Captain Wragg and Lt. Phlebas met Doctor Bobinder on level 5 of the saucer of the Cunnilingus. The ship was strangely quiet, doubtless because Chief Engineer RacingRodent and his trusty sidekick, Malins, had the engines offline to repair them. There were the normal scenes of a starship in battle and damage control mode in the corridor as the two men got off the lift, notably a lot of men looking serious, and women in very short skirts looking concerned all rushing in different directions.
“Do these people actually do anything useful during a crisis,” asked Phlebas, “or do they just run up and down the hallways.”
“Oh, I’m sure they all have crucial jobs,” said Wragg. “Big starship. Lots of things to do.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” said Phlebas, “but that woman there had an “Interplanetary Botanist” badge on her uniform. Hard to think that an attack by the Dark Princess would concern her.”
“She’s probably worried that a photon torpedo might hit her greenhouses or something,” said Wragg.
“We have a greenhouse?” asked Phlebas.
“Who knows,” said Wragg. “Worth checking, but now we need to find three women who are being threatened by a legion of Romans.”
“Maybe the Romans are threatening the greenhouses,” said Phlebas.
“Ah,” said Wragg, “here’s the good Doctor.”
“Look,” said Bobinder as he reached the other two officers, “I’m a doctor, not a tactician, but do you think three of us is enough against a whole army of Romans. You heard the Squirrel. They’re real Romans now, not just holo-projections.”
“I think we will rely on the element of surprise,” said Wragg. “They don’t know we’re coming.”
“Do we know where they are?” asked Phlebas.
“Holodeck 3,” said Bobinder. “That’s where Barb and Siss were going.”
“Barb and Siss are there too?” asked Wragg. “You seem to have very little control over your patients.”
“Yeah, well, the healing of nail wounds is easy,” said Bobinder, “but this elixir thing makes them obsessed with orgasms, and they went off as soon as they could walk to Holodeck 3. They said that was where Messaline had her scenario set up.”
“What sort of scenario?” asked Phlebas.
“I don’t know,” said Bobinder. “They pushed past me and were gone before I could call anyone to restrain them.”
The three men carried on down the corridor to another lift which took them to the holodecks.
“Right,” said Wragg, “here’s number 3. Phasers on stun, gentlemen. We don’t want to accidentally kill any of about 5 sex-obsessed women we might find in here. Mr. Phlebas, you get the door, would you?”
Phlebas keyed the door latch and the holodeck door slid open silently.
“Um,” said Bobinder, “did you expect this?”
“No,” said Wragg, pointing his phaser left, and then right. The three men stood and stared into the holodeck.
“Anyone see the girls?” asked Phlebas.
“No,” said Wragg, “can’t see anything for all these Roman legionnaires standing about the place.”
“What do you make of it?” asked Bobinder. “It looks like a Victorian boudoir to me…”
“Filled with Roman soldiers,” said Phlebas.
“Odd,” said Wragg.
“Well done though,” said Bobinder. “You said you were relying on surprise. Well, I’m surprised.”
It was indeed the picture of what Messaline would have thought of as a Victorian era boudoir. There was a fair bit of pink, with fine fabrics, and solid looking elegant furniture, at least what they could see of it. Most of the room however was standing room only with several hundred Roman soldiers, all armed with spears and short swords, standing shoulder to shoulder. Wragg stretched up on his toes to see over the soldiery.
“There’s a sort of large bed, and a big wardrobe thing,” he said. The girls seem to be tied to the posts of the bed and to the wardrobe.”
“Really,” said Phlebas with perhaps too much enthusiasm. “Er, what are they wearing?”
“Nothing,” said Wragg, “or near as I can make out.”
“They were coming here looking for orgasms,” said Bobinder. “People tend not to wear much for that.”
“So what are the Romans doing here,” asked Phlebas.
“They seem to be trying to make some space to swing their whips,” said Wragg. “As you can imagine, they might be concerned that the whip only hits the target, not all the bystanders as well.”
“I can see how that might be a problem for them,” said Bobinder.
“I’m just surprised that they’re dealing so well with the fact that they materialized in a lady’s bedroom,” said Phlebas.
“You think whipping 5 naked girls is a normal reaction to finding oneself in a bedroom?” asked Wragg.
“Look,” said Bobinder, “surely the point is that we’ve got to get the girls out of there!”
“I think it might be easier to get the Romans out of there,” said Phlebas.
“Good thinking, that man,” said Wragg. “Okay, how?”
About that moment, a couple of the Romans turned to look at the now open door and saw the three officers. They didn’t look particularly pleased to see them, and said a few things that nobody understood.
“What did he say?” asked Bobinder.
“No clue,” said Wragg, “but he doesn’t look friendly. I did hear him say “centurion”, so perhaps he’s calling an officer.”
Sure enough, a tall Roman with a red broom on his helmet pushed through the crowd of soldiers and glared at Wragg. He pointed and said a few words in latin.
“No idea, old boy,” said Wragg genially. “Thing is, you’re on my ship, and you’re trying to flog my crew. It’s just not on. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
The centurion became more irate, standing to his full height of at least 5 foot 9 inches (even tall Romans were short). He gestured in a nicely pre-Italian manner and his speech became agitated.
“Well,” said Wragg to Phlebas. “You’re our cultural and intelligence expert. What’s up?”
“If I make out the Mediterranean idiom correctly,” said Phlebas, “he believes we’re enemies and is contemplating having us killed.”
“How would you know that?” asked Bobinder.
“Perhaps the fact that these men are all pointing their spears at us now…” said Phlebas.
“Okay,” said Wragg. “Time for some decisive action. Everyone stun one of those guys, and then run for it.”
The three officers each fired a phaser, which stunned three of the menacing looking Roman soldiers. It also surprised the centurion, who jumped backwards. Wragg, Phlebas, and Bobinder took this moment of confusion to turn and run down the corridor. It wasn’t long before the entire legion or cohort was in pursuit.
“This is some plan you have going,” said Bobinder. “Now what?”
“Just keep running,” said Wragg. “I’m sure to think of something.”
“Do you suppose that’s the whole legion behind us?” asked Phlebas, “or did they leave someone back there to flog the girls?”
“Just keep running, for now,” said Wragg. “Head for the cargo bays. That’s where we lost them before.”
In the engine room, RacingRodent and Malins and their crew of red-shirted engineers were getting the engines back online.
“Should have engines ready to go in about 10 minutes,” said Malins.
“Yeah,” said the Squirrel, “if some idiot doesn’t fire a torpedo through them again. And the warp coils are still set up wrong. If we turn on the warp engines now, we’ll probably end up inside the planet or something. I want to reset them to normal.”
“Right,” said Malins. “I’ll get a crew on it.” She gave some orders and four of the red-shirts went off into the warp maintenance area.
RacingRodent got out his squirrel sized comm link. “Hi Captain,” he said. “We’ll have engines soon. Try not to get us killed for about another 10 minutes, would you?”
“Can’t talk,” said Wragg’s voice. “Bit busy with some Romans. Get those warp coils the right way round, would you? All the holodeck stuff is real now, and these Romans mean business.”
“Did he say, Romans?” RacingRodent asked Malins. She shrugged and kept working on her engine console.
“Yes,” said Wragg in annoyance, “he did! There are about a thousand of them, and they’re chasing me Bobinder and Phlebas on level 5. We’re headed for the cargo bays. Someone needs to check what’s going on in holodeck 3.”
“Look,” said RacingRodent to Malins, “you know what has to be done here. Just finish it and get those engines online. I’ll go see what’s up on the holodecks and then head for the bridge. Try not to get crucified by Romans in the meantime.”
“Right,” said Malins.
RacingRodent headed into the lift and headed for Holodeck 3. The corridor was littered with bodies of people now, all exhibiting some sort of stab wound. Several of the more red-shirted ones were dead, but there were lots of wounded as well. He called sick bay for medical teams, realizing that the Doctor was currently being pursued into the cargo bay area of the ship and was not in any position to render aid.
Apart from that, nobody stopped him, and he reached the open door of Holodeck 3 without mishap. There were only about ten soldiers left there, two of which had whips and were administering scourgings to the 5 women tied to the furniture of the holodeck. At the moment, it was Messaline receiving most of the attention, although the Archon’s daughter was hanging unconscious from one of the posts of a large oak bed, her back criss-crossed with whip marks.
Messaline was dancing to the whip now, as the Roman lictor laid it on. Barb was shouting encouragement, probably to Messaline, but one of the other Romans gave her a lash across her bottom to make her shriek and stop shouting. None of them paid the slightest attention to a large squirrel entering the room. Perhaps a squirrel was the least surprising thing they had seen all day, considering they had inexplicably emerged in a bedroom with 5 naked women in it.
They were more surprised when Messaline saw RacingRodent, and said, “Oh, my squirrel! I knew you would come!”
They were even more surprised of course, when the squirrel pulled out a phaser that seemed a size or two too large for him, and vaporized the lictor. The rest of the whipping squad panicked and ran out of the holodeck in pursuit of the rest of the legion, and away from the apparently lethal rodent. There was a minute or two of complete pandemonium as 9 Romans all charged for the exit. This meant that they all had to charge straight at the squirrel in their way.
RacingRodent gave a sharp squeak of alarm and dodged this way and that, spinning around once or twice and finally leaping for the large Victorian bed. He hit one of the tall bedposts and slid down it, landing on Messaline’s breasts, which were pressed against the wood.
“Well,” said RacingRodent, watching the departing Romans from his soft new vantage point, “that seems to have taken care of that.”
“You could maybe get us down,” said Messaline, who was, after all, closest to him after all of that. “We can do squirrel cuddling later.”
In short order, the girls were all untied from the furniture, and Messaline went with Melia (the Archon’s daughter) to get some treatment for their whippings. Eulalia, Siss, and Barb were all, as yet, unscathed by whipping, and Eulalia seemed somewhat disappointed, but there was nothing to be done about that at the moment.
“Okay,” said RacingRodent, “let’s go to the bridge.”
“Is anyone else concerned that this ship is still crawling with Romans,” asked Barb.
“One thing at a time,” said the Squirrel.
When RacingRodent, Eulalia and Barb got to the bridge (Siss had decided to follow the Romans to the cargo bays), they found things a bit tense.
“Do you see anything?” Jollyrei asked. “I thought I saw a ripple again.”
“Like a cloaked ship?” asked Loxuru.
“Yes, like that,” said Jollyrei.
“If we could lock onto it,” said Repertor, “we could shoot it. They can’t run shields when they’re cloaked, or so they say. I’d like to test that theory.”
Eulalia took her science and scanning station. “I’ll see if I can get a better scan on it,” she said.
Everyone seemed happy to have Eulalia back at her station. It was common knowledge that Eulalia, of all the crew, knew about things. She went to work.
“You know,” she said, “there’s that moment when they de-cloak, before they get their shields up…”
“…when they’re vulnerable!” said Repertor. “Load torpedoes!”
“Do we have engines yet?” asked Jollyrei.
“In about 5 minutes,” said RacingRodent from his engineering station.
“Well,” said Jollyrei, “this is tense. Anyone know where the Captain is?”
“Trying to lead a legion of Romans into the cargo bays,” said the Squirrel.
“What? Again?” asked Jollyrei. “Anyone would think that cargo bays were the natural spot for Romans around this place.”
“Only when the holodeck buffers fail,” said Barb. “We could try opening a comm link to the Dark Zone ship.”
“What would we say?” asked Loxuru. “Can you hold up attacking us for a moment? We’re trying to stop a bunch of Romans from crucifying our captain…”
“Wait a second,” said Jollyrei, “do you think that’s a possibility?”
“Well known for crucifying people, Romans,” said Loxuru. “Don’t have to be Eulalia to know that.”
“The Dark Princess likes crucifixions too,” said Jollyrei.
“I think I have a plan,” said RacingRodent. “Ms. Moore, find out where the Captain is and if he’s got those Romans in the cargo bay yet.”
“Yeah,” said Wragg to Barb, speaking into his communicator, “they’re all here, and we’ve secured the doors. Unfortunately, we’re in here too, and the Romans are saying things like “crucifixus” and other not so pleasant latin words.”
“Can you get out of there?” asked Barb.
“Not unless we can stun about 1000 Romans before they stick us full of spear holes,” said Wragg.
“Sounds dodgy,” said Jollyrei.
“Won’t the Romans just stop existing when the warp coils are set correctly?” asked Barb.
“Who can say,” said RacingRodent. “That would be true if they had stayed in the holodecks. Now they’re probably just as real as you and me, only armed with spears.”
“We have to get them off the ship,” said Eulalia, “once and for all.”
“I have an idea about that too,” said RacingRodent. “Get me Mr. Windar.”
Windar always liked the opportunity to show off his skills. He fiddled with knobs, and twiddled switches, which always made him think of other things. Then he swept his hands over the transporter energizers and Wragg, Phlebas and Bobinder appeared on his transporter pads, just as Jollyrei and RacingRodent arrived.
“Well, that was a near thing,” said Wragg.
“Bit of a lucky escape,” said Phlebas.
“Better than getting stuck full of sword points,” said Bobinder. “I’m a doctor, not a pincushion.”
“Nice one, doctor,” said Jollyrei.
“Do we have engines yet?” asked Wragg.
“Not as such,” said RacingRodent. “A few minutes, but I think we can disable the Princess’ ship. Listen…” He filled Wragg in on the plan as they raced back to the bridge.
“You’re sure those Romans are all still in the cargo hold?” asked Jollyrei.
“Yeah,” said Phlebas. “We force sealed the doors. We could just jettison the lot into deep space.”
“No, we have better uses for a legion of Romans,” said RacingRodent. The lift doors opened and Wragg stepped out onto his bridge.
“Nice to have everyone here again,” he said, nodding to Eulalia and Barb.
“Engines and shields coming back on line,” said RacingRodent. “Well done, Malins!”
“Just hold off on that for a moment. Open a channel to the Dark Ship,” said Wragg.
“Hailing frequencies open,” said Barb, as the Dark Princess showed up on the VisiScreen™.
“Hi your Darkness,” said Wragg, informally. “Just wanted to give you a moment to surrender. If you don’t, I can’t remain responsible for the condition of your ship or crew.”
“Me?” said the Princess. “Surrender? I don’t think so. You are still without shields and no sign of your engines. I think it’s time to end this. Surrender or die.”
“If that’s the way you want it,” said Wragg, and he cut the channel. “Look sharp, Mr. Windar! On my command!”
“Ready,” said Windar’s voice.
There was a shimmer on the screen as the large Dark Zone Warbird de-cloaked. “Pretty impressive, isn’t it?” said Jollyrei with some admiration.
“They’ll only be vulnerable for a second or two,” said Eulalia. “If we’re going to fire, we should do it now!”
“Energize!” yelled Wragg.
Nothing seemed to happen. There was silence. Then Windar’s voice said, “cargo away!”
The warbird finished de-cloaking, and just sat there for a moment. Then it lurched to the left, then it spun around several times, and photon torpedoes fired off into deep space.
“That should keep them busy for a bit,” said Wragg.
“Um, what just happened?” asked Barb.
“Well,” said RacingRodent, “the Dark Princess is very fond of crucifixions and floggings.”
“So we sent some people over to help her with that,” said Wragg smugly. “A nice legion of crux experts.”
"The Romans don't seem to understand the flight dynamics of warbirds yet," said Phlebas as the Dark Zone ship flashed across the bow of the Cunnilingus and shot off into space.
"I'm sure the Dark Princess will come to an understanding with them shortly," said Wragg. "Don't let's hang around to find out."
“We have engines online now,” said RacingRodent.
“Well,” said Wragg, “our work here seems to be done. Back to federation space, Mr. Loxuru. Warp 7 if you please.”
To be continued…
Last edited:
It strikes me, you know, they forgot to return the Archon's daughter to her home planet. I'll have to work that out in the final section. 
Also, Siss is unaccounted for, it seems. 
I'm sure she's fine.
She only had 9 Romans chasing her when we last saw her. 
Should be an exciting epilogue.
I'll have to work that out in the final section. Also, Siss is unaccounted for, it seems. I'm sure she's fine.
She only had 9 Romans chasing her when we last saw her. Should be an exciting epilogue.
It strikes me, you know, they forgot to return the Archon's daughter to her home planet.
I'm sure she's fine.
Should be an exciting epilogue.
Wait. I’m still recovering from the last chapter
So am I.
RacingRodent
Consul
So am I.
Well that was exciting. I wonder if Wragg broke enough rules this time that Admiral Old Slave decides it is just easier to go with another cover up than explain things to the Crux Senate or Assembly of Worlds or whatever arrangement we have actually have in the Federation....hum maybe I should have that constitutional law module at the Academy?
Anyway fine chapter Jolly
Take that Roman!
Well that was exciting. I wonder if Wragg broke enough rules this time that Admiral Old Slave decides it is just easier to go with another cover up than explain things to the Crux Senate or Assembly of Worlds or whatever arrangement we have actually have in the Federation....hum maybe I should have that constitutional law module at the Academy?
Anyway fine chapter Jolly
Take that Roman!
With any luck, Wragg may have broken enough rules to provide Admiral Old Slave the cover he needs to promote me from Ensign to Starship Commander.
"Captain Wragg and Lt Phlebas met Doctor Bobinder on level 5 of the saucer of the Cunnilingus." Only on Crux Forums could you read something like that!
Correction, it makes them more obsessed with orgasms. They already were fairly obsessed....
Eulalia will understand!
Oh....
That figures. He's the only one with any skills!
This, Gentle Reader, demonstrates the importance of context. Any other time we would be delighted to hear them say 'crucifixus'
Ain't that the truth!
Fantastic chapter, Jollyrei! A perfect end to a Saturday evening!
With any luck, Wragg may have broken enough rules to provide Admiral Old Slave the cover he needs to promote me from Ensign to Starship Commander.
I heard that the CSS Tumescence is ready for a new commander...
Correction, it makes them more obsessed with orgasms. They already were fairly obsessed....
That could be taken as mean spirited ...
Name one ... I can't
Yep ... it was ...
I heard that the CSS Tumescence is ready for a new commander...
This guy just doesn't know when to quit, does he?
Correction, Tumescence is fully crewed.View attachment 554017 This guy just doesn't know when to quit, does he?
It's the CSS Demerits that is recruiting!
Correction, Tumescence is fully crewed.
It's the CSS Demerits that is recruiting!
I fail to see the humor there.
Oh come on now. When have my characters ever been geniuses?View attachment 554018 Geniuses these guys are not!
Yipes!I fail to see the humor there.
Barb with sense of humor loss?
Beam me up, Windar!