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A Female Experience

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GranDaddyO

GranDaddyO

Executioner
I promised a contribution . . .

Constructive comments* invited.

* technical, artistic, whatever.
They don't have to be complimentary,
simply useful and helpful, in any way.

It could be the first of a few
or the first, last and only . . .
 

Attachments

  • A Female Experience - 1125 Crucifixion - Meretricia pdf.pdf
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GranDaddyO said:
I promised a contribution . . .

Constructive comments* invited.


It could be the first of a few
or the first, last and only . . .
Click to expand...

It is a very long story (not a criticism) but what I read is so far is good. But it is late where I am and Christmas is still tomorrow... More comments later when I have chance to go through it all...

Tree
 
Marcie4you said:
I read the first rendering, I believe it was Jameliass crucifiction?
Click to expand...

You are correct.
This one has pix with a subtle change of theme too and, I hope, a more flowing and grammatically correct text.
So many stories let themselves down in this respect.

As for those that begin sentences with a conjunction (and), I find them tiresome to read. This is not good, as some very original ideas are being displayed. I look to feedback such as yours with great interest. Thanks for your response.

If my alterations to original texts, such as they are, do not make for a 'better read' (as I will perceive from comments here) then so be it. I don't want to arrive and 'make waves' but there is no reason for not aspiring to high standards, even if not attained.
 
I saw another here, the flagrant mixations with "him"/"her" made it almost unreadable!
If this was your oringinal work? Cudos!!!!!!!!
English Major here!
Always willing to edit a fellow writer, when;) needed help with English........
I'ts TRULY amazing how intelligent we are, all from different countries?

GO for it?

Bet MOST men would stummer and stare, at someone like us ready to be crucified?
 
No, I personally liked it, if you were the oringinal author?
But, If I quote or improve upon anothers work I give them credit, or let others know it's not mine?
Just MY humble thoughts? Merrry Christmas all!
 
This was a good story well, detailed, and surprised at the end she wants to redo all that again but what chay a do? haha very good story tho.
 
The original (or at least an older) version of the story is "Jamilla’s crucifixion" by Marius Zebo. It is attached.
The English seems OK to me. And at the start the author specifically states that "Passing this story on
to others, or publishing it in any way without permission of the author,MariusZebo, is illegal." Just so you know.
 

Attachments

  • Jamilla.pdf
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Hangnail said:
The original (or at least an older) version of the story is "Jamilla’s crucifixion" by Marius Zebo.
The English seems OK to me. And at the start the author specifically states that "Passing this story on to others, or publishing it in any way without permission of the author,MariusZebo, is illegal." Just so you know.
Click to expand...


Like I said, starting a sentence with a conjunction is poor grammar and style . . .

Thanks for the author's name - I'll tag it into my copy for any future use. The story was found on a public site a long, long time ago, altered for personal use and now shared.

Some ideas I've found have been very good indeed, but poorly executed (pun intended). That improved versions supplant or run alongside originals in the CF archives can only be good, can it not? Who drives a model T Ford these days?

I've seen clarification here about the use of photos from copyright (pay) sources and public (free) ones, on which basis M.Z's restriction would have no import. I'll let you know his comments if he ever gets in touch with me, unless he posts here first.


PS
I have a few other stories that are modified originals, some much more so than this particular example. I hope they'll be posted and enjoyed in due course.
For a more recently published 'matched pair' I have the author's written permission to use the idea.

PPS
Afficianados of 'The 39 Steps' story will know of at least four film versions of it, none of which is true to Buchan's original. All very entertaining though . . .
 
GranDaddyO said:
Offer appreciated - I may well take you up on it.


For those who read the first version,
is this one a useful improvement,
or should I not have bothered?
Click to expand...

Of course you should have bothered. I can even see some of our pics in there. I will archive this pdf.
 
The first offering was well-enough received so I offer another.
It's a much-modified original with a few pix to add interest.
All being well, there'll be a sequel.

I failed to record the name of the original author at the time of download, nor find it again, despite extensive searching. If anyone knows it* then it would be fair for that individual to be mentioned. Meanwhile, the existence of another is acknowledged (I'm sensitive about plagiarism).
The pix have been lifted from 'public' sites and, like the text, altered in some ways to make them fit the story line appropriately.
* If that is known, then so is the basic original story.
 

Attachments

  • A Female Experience - 1127 Sacrifice of the Vernal Equinox pdf.pdf
    1.2 MB · Views: 181
A short story that impressed me, so I downloaded it and did some work on the presentation. The revised version is shared; the original is out there somewhere.

This is one of several that I admire for the originality of the theme. If you don't think there is a tinge of reality to its message then you may be missing out on some aspects of politics today . . .



Another short story that impressed me.

The reworked version is shared;
the original is out there somewhere.

PS
The author is happy enough to be republished.
(I mention it, just so you know . . . )
 

Attachments

  • A Female Experience - 1101 Crucifixion - M Lakes Detn Centre pdf.pdf
    834 KB · Views: 172
  • A Female Experience - 1103 Crucifixion - wilderness horror pdf.pdf
    406.3 KB · Views: 149
A combination of two stories, one a sequel to the other. Re-worked into 'English English' with a few pix added for good measure.

Again, the theme is way different from any 'antiquity' material. Not that the latter is to be decried, there's good stuff to be read, but this sort of thing is leaving what may be 'conventional' and introducing new ideas.

Enjoy.


PS
The author has consented to be republished.
(I mention it, just so you know . . . )
 

Attachments

  • A Female Experience - 1102 Crucifixion - the power of money pdf.pdf
    806.7 KB · Views: 158
Hangnail said:
Polly Plummer's work is available at her blog
I advertised it to CF readers a few months ago
Click to expand...

Then I am curious as to why a search for her name on the facility here did not pick up your mention when I looked a few days ago. A similar search for andy01 revealed only three of his (at least?) four postings.

Is there some intrinsic limitation or an idiosyncratic method that must be used, of which I am so far unaware?
Who can enlighten me, please?
 
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