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M*A*S*H DIARY
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
windar
Teller of Tales
Finally, I get some respect!
Good luck getting gratitude from Moore...
He is a noted author
Ask his partner, your aunt Detective Barbara Moore...
yeah, sure you will...
RacingRodent
Consul
Surely his parents would have regarded his graduation from medical college as a step up the social ladder? A bit of Army time added in and maybe we are talking about State Senator Goldman perhaps even one day just Senator Goldman? I am not seeing any boots required...more sound Oxford shoes and a smart suit
windar
Teller of Tales
Why not President Goldman? A war hero doctor after all....
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Regulations are regulations, and laundry day is laundry day! Army discipline can be that simple!
Just a precaution, I think! The Chinese are after all keen in attacking by surprise for a though hand to hand combat.
Yes, I’m betting everything on the honorable General. Hope he’s as honorable as Juan tells me he is
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
April 6, 1951 MASH 4078th, Wo-on-Krux, Korea
Memo to: Self
From: Brigadier General P. Praetorio, Judge Advocate General's Corps, United States Army
Given some of the Issues raised by this matter, I believe it vital to maintain a confidential written record of the events for later use.
God, what a hell-hole! It doesn’t help that I’ve spent the last 53 hours crammed into cold, hard transport planes or shuffling through ugly air bases! The drive from Korea HQ was the worst. You’d think they could provide better accommodations of a general officer! It was terrible.
Until I arrived here and found it worse.
First Sergeant Helmut Connoisseurs asked permission to find his wartime comrade, Staff Sergeant Adolf Loxuru in the motor pool. I readily agreed since much more can be learned from a friendly non-com, than from up-tight officers.
I went to present myself to the post commander. Hovering at the edges of the tent was a ratty little corporal who introduced himself as “Racing” Rodent. (Very Strange). As he went inside, he said he would inform Colonel Phlebas of my arrival.
Phlebas! I hadn’t even looked at the name of the commander until now. But that name! There couldn’t be too many around with that.
Corporal Rodent ushered me in. There, in the uniform of an Australian Lieutenant Colonel was my old Frat brother, Oliver Phlebas! We both grinned and saluted before grasping each other with the old Φ Θ Β handshake! We soon were sitting on his camp chairs, sipping decent Australian rum, Bundaberg, with a damn polar bear on the label, and reminiscing about the days when he and I were students at XXX University. For the life of us, neither could remember what those damn Greek letters meant in Greek. But we both immediately came up with the translation the Fraternity brothers used: Fuck Those Bitches.
Once I was relaxed and starting on my second glass, I said, “Tell me, Ollie, what the heck is going on with this Second Lieutenant Moore?”
Memo to: Self
From: Brigadier General P. Praetorio, Judge Advocate General's Corps, United States Army
Given some of the Issues raised by this matter, I believe it vital to maintain a confidential written record of the events for later use.
God, what a hell-hole! It doesn’t help that I’ve spent the last 53 hours crammed into cold, hard transport planes or shuffling through ugly air bases! The drive from Korea HQ was the worst. You’d think they could provide better accommodations of a general officer! It was terrible.
Until I arrived here and found it worse.
First Sergeant Helmut Connoisseurs asked permission to find his wartime comrade, Staff Sergeant Adolf Loxuru in the motor pool. I readily agreed since much more can be learned from a friendly non-com, than from up-tight officers.
I went to present myself to the post commander. Hovering at the edges of the tent was a ratty little corporal who introduced himself as “Racing” Rodent. (Very Strange). As he went inside, he said he would inform Colonel Phlebas of my arrival.
Phlebas! I hadn’t even looked at the name of the commander until now. But that name! There couldn’t be too many around with that.
Corporal Rodent ushered me in. There, in the uniform of an Australian Lieutenant Colonel was my old Frat brother, Oliver Phlebas! We both grinned and saluted before grasping each other with the old Φ Θ Β handshake! We soon were sitting on his camp chairs, sipping decent Australian rum, Bundaberg, with a damn polar bear on the label, and reminiscing about the days when he and I were students at XXX University. For the life of us, neither could remember what those damn Greek letters meant in Greek. But we both immediately came up with the translation the Fraternity brothers used: Fuck Those Bitches.
Once I was relaxed and starting on my second glass, I said, “Tell me, Ollie, what the heck is going on with this Second Lieutenant Moore?”
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Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Adolf! Donnerwetter! I moved heaven and earth to persuade US immigration to change my name into a genuine American 'Wilbur', and then, some other former NSKK dude catches me up in the very most thinkable remote spot of this planet, to call me 'Adolf' again!
RacingRodent
Consul
Why is it some Americans cannot follow anything said in a British accent?
Besides O'Reilly is with the 4077th
Besides O'Reilly is with the 4077th
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Adolf! Donnerwetter! I moved heaven and earth to persuade US immigration to change my name into a genuine American 'Wilbur', and then, some other former NSKK dude catches me up in the very most thinkable remote spot of this planet, to call me 'Adolf' again!
My apologies gentlemen.
Staff Sergeant Loxuru, from now on First Sergeant Connoisseurs will refer to you as Wilbur (he tries to go under the name of Tom, but it just doesn't seem right, so I call him Helmut).
Colonel Phlebas' rum was very potent by the time I finished the fourth glass and wrote my memo I seem to have confused you with another co0mpany clerk. From now on you will be RR (a name that fits your striking resemblance to members of the order Rodentia)
What else did you want us to do? I mean, there you'd be with all clean laundry, except that one pair of kinis and maybe a t-shirt that was all dirty. You'd hate that.
And maybe snap a few quick photos for Stars and Stripes or something.
Careful with the scythe, it cuts, well, everything really. I also have a rather splendid horse...somewhere...he'll come if I need him, and no, the North Koreans won't bother him. I also have a few nice books of gallows humour jokes, if you'd like to see them sometime.
Well, that's not going to help you get in the correct frame of mind for the General...or perhaps it will. It won't help you put on a bra straight anyway, but since none of the rest of us care about that (the General included, I expect), we needent worry. Carry on.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
The horse's color? khlōros (χλωρός) - sickly pale! I'm sure you make a great sight riding him!
LOOK, NOW! I mean, look now! I don't go criticizing the colour of your dog or cat. "Sickly", honestly. It's a lighter shade of pale, is what it is.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
I'm just translating the Greek. (Revelations 6:8 καὶ εἶδον, καὶ ἰδοὺ ἵππος χλωρός, καὶ ὁ καθήμενος ἐπάνω αὐτοῦ ὄνομα αὐτῷ [ὁ] Θάνατος, καὶ ὁ ἅ|δης ἠκολούθει μετ' αὐτοῦ: καὶ ἐδόθη αὐτοῖς ἐξουσία ἐπὶ τὸ τέταρτον τῆς γῆς, ἀποκτεῖναι ἐν ῥομφαίᾳ καὶ ἐν λιμῷ καὶ ἐν θανάτῳ καὶ ὑπὸ τῶν θηρίων τῆς γῆς.) Blame John of Patmos, or whoever wrote the words of the scroll with the Seven Seals.
It's a lighter shade of pale, is what it is. Or do you mean Procol Harum, "A Whiter Shade of Pale"?
Right up there with, "why don't you come upstairs and I'll show you my etchings."That’s a better pick up line than the ones Tree usually uses ...
Well done.That’s a group and a song, right?
