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Miss Moore Goes To The Abbey, 1861...
- Thread starter thehangingtree
- Start date
I'm sure it is in the book. I'd check if I had one...I really have to reread the Articles of Religion again, next time I'm in church. I recall the bits about transsubstantiation being a Popish fallicy abhorrent to Almighty God, but I must have missed the bits about whipping seductresses.
...This is horrible what is happening to Barb!!!
Tree
Don't worry about it, Tree. Come to bed, Siss...
Messa...
I have never been pissed of this much! I want this cunt dead and these dickless wonders of church elders defer to the fucking Crown of England. Why do I bother fucking these asshole? Ericka assures me that Miss Moore is all but dead. I certainly hope so as she dresses my hair.
-Joan Tree
Tree
-Joan Tree
Tree
Oh, that Joan Tree is one mean bitch! Now my fate is sealed. How come Siss has all the
Another gem of imaginative writing Tree!
She was sent to France and you got stuck with the 'stiff upper lip' crowd...Oh, that Joan Tree is one mean bitch! Now my fate is sealed. How come Siss has all theassetsluck?
Another gem of imaginative writing Tree!
She was sent to France and you got stuck with the 'stiff upper lip' crowd...
In other words, my "assets" we're wasted?
Well, the
And what, May I ask, is wrong with a stiff upper lip?She was sent to France and you got stuck with the 'stiff upper lip' crowd...
Calm down... big boy...And what, May I ask, is wrong with a stiff upper lip?
To the Tower?
Don't tell me the Prince of Wales has his eye on her tight little....?
Oh dear, I hope not ...
Secretary of State Seward had crossed the Atlantic and is allowed to meet with Miss Barbara Moore before she is presented to a tribunal to be tried as a spy against the empire. She is brought into ornate room that is a far cry from the rat-infested cell she is incarcerated in. She has been cleaned and her hair groomed but her wrists would remain locked in irons and she is nude from the waist up. She finds quickly even with her country’s top diplomat sitting before her she is facing dire times.
Secretary Seward talks in hushed but stern tones because even though the room is large two British prison guards stand inside the door across from them.
“What were you thinking bedding the Bishop Draco? Don’t you know the sway he has on the Crown of England?”
“Siss suggested I do as it worked for her with Sister Messaline” I whisper back.
“Sister Messaline is a French lesbian. Does Bishop Draco look like a French lesbian?” He hisses.
“Well, no, he’s English and seems to be heterosexual” I reply. “How did this whole ‘spy’ thing come about?”
He glances over his shoulder and says “Joan Tree is the bishop’s mistress. She has relatives in Logan County, Arkansas, and is a Southern sympathizer.”
“Where is Logan County?” I ask.
“It’s where Paris is; don’t tell me you’ve never been to Paris (Arkansas, that is –Ed.). But never mind where you have been or not it is where you are now. She planted the story you and Siss are spies. As it stands she is quite the chemist also and has discovered both an aphrodisiac for women that can be mixed in with tea and a male performance enhancer… I forget its name… and slipped it into the Archbishop of Canterbury’s wine and after he raped a dozen nuns for four hours he suffered a sudden loss of vision!”
“She must not be that good a chemist if he went blind from an erection lasting four hours” I reply.
“Well, he lost his vision when he keeled over dead from overexertion! But enough of this; Bishop Draco Wragg is one of the finalist to replace him. Even if I can convince the Crown you are not a spy and not to execute your tight little you have been found guilty of being a hedonistic seductress and will be hanged by the Church of England” he tells me.
“If I am found guilty of being of being a spy what happens?”
“If you are lucky you will shot by a firing squad.”
“And if I am not lucky???”
“You will be beheaded” he says flatly.
“I have seen depictions of that in the Crux Chronicle!!! I don’t want to lose my head before a mob chained and naked!” I cry.
“Do not tell me you read that trash!” he admonishes me (Secretary Seward subscribes –Ed.) “No child, you will be brought to a platform before only guests and dignitaries invited by the Queen. I will be there. You will be clothed and exposed only enough for the sword to severe your head from your body” he explains.
“You make it sound like such a sterile event. You realize when axe falls I become dead” I reply surprised that my anger outweighs my fear but for a diplomat he keeps pouring on the more bad news without any sugar coating.
“It will not be an axe that takes you but the sword ‘Excalibur’, Miss Moore” Secretary Seward explains.
“Such a sword does not exist. It is a fable!” I protest.
“Tell yourself that as it slices through your neck” he says seemingly excited by the thought.
The image burns in my mind and I squeeze my thighs together hoping to hide the pee squirting from my loins. Composing myself the best I can I say “If I must die I would prefer to depart this world intact. Being hanged cannot be much worse than being beheaded. Do you have at least that much influence to make that happen?”
“I do indeed but there are storms of a civil war brewing at home and it is in the country’s best interest to allow the Queen to dispose of you as she wishes. Besides, unlike our judicial execution by hanging…
…the church’s method is a protracted death caused by slow strangulation…
…done as much for the torment of the condemned and the entertainment of witnesses than any model of efficiency. I do suggest if your execution requests any special favors of you as you kneel at the block you forget you your pride and accommodate him. If you are fortunate it will take only one fell of the sword to terminate your life.”
-Miss Barbara Moore
When Barb has a bad day she goes all in!!!
Tree
Secretary Seward talks in hushed but stern tones because even though the room is large two British prison guards stand inside the door across from them.
“What were you thinking bedding the Bishop Draco? Don’t you know the sway he has on the Crown of England?”
“Siss suggested I do as it worked for her with Sister Messaline” I whisper back.
“Sister Messaline is a French lesbian. Does Bishop Draco look like a French lesbian?” He hisses.
“Well, no, he’s English and seems to be heterosexual” I reply. “How did this whole ‘spy’ thing come about?”
He glances over his shoulder and says “Joan Tree is the bishop’s mistress. She has relatives in Logan County, Arkansas, and is a Southern sympathizer.”
“Where is Logan County?” I ask.
“It’s where Paris is; don’t tell me you’ve never been to Paris (Arkansas, that is –Ed.). But never mind where you have been or not it is where you are now. She planted the story you and Siss are spies. As it stands she is quite the chemist also and has discovered both an aphrodisiac for women that can be mixed in with tea and a male performance enhancer… I forget its name… and slipped it into the Archbishop of Canterbury’s wine and after he raped a dozen nuns for four hours he suffered a sudden loss of vision!”
“She must not be that good a chemist if he went blind from an erection lasting four hours” I reply.
“Well, he lost his vision when he keeled over dead from overexertion! But enough of this; Bishop Draco Wragg is one of the finalist to replace him. Even if I can convince the Crown you are not a spy and not to execute your tight little you have been found guilty of being a hedonistic seductress and will be hanged by the Church of England” he tells me.
“If I am found guilty of being of being a spy what happens?”
“If you are lucky you will shot by a firing squad.”
“And if I am not lucky???”
“You will be beheaded” he says flatly.
“I have seen depictions of that in the Crux Chronicle!!! I don’t want to lose my head before a mob chained and naked!” I cry.
“Do not tell me you read that trash!” he admonishes me (Secretary Seward subscribes –Ed.) “No child, you will be brought to a platform before only guests and dignitaries invited by the Queen. I will be there. You will be clothed and exposed only enough for the sword to severe your head from your body” he explains.
“You make it sound like such a sterile event. You realize when axe falls I become dead” I reply surprised that my anger outweighs my fear but for a diplomat he keeps pouring on the more bad news without any sugar coating.
“It will not be an axe that takes you but the sword ‘Excalibur’, Miss Moore” Secretary Seward explains.
“Such a sword does not exist. It is a fable!” I protest.
“Tell yourself that as it slices through your neck” he says seemingly excited by the thought.
The image burns in my mind and I squeeze my thighs together hoping to hide the pee squirting from my loins. Composing myself the best I can I say “If I must die I would prefer to depart this world intact. Being hanged cannot be much worse than being beheaded. Do you have at least that much influence to make that happen?”
“I do indeed but there are storms of a civil war brewing at home and it is in the country’s best interest to allow the Queen to dispose of you as she wishes. Besides, unlike our judicial execution by hanging…
…the church’s method is a protracted death caused by slow strangulation…
…done as much for the torment of the condemned and the entertainment of witnesses than any model of efficiency. I do suggest if your execution requests any special favors of you as you kneel at the block you forget you your pride and accommodate him. If you are fortunate it will take only one fell of the sword to terminate your life.”
-Miss Barbara Moore
When Barb has a bad day she goes all in!!!
Tree
Oh shit!!!!!!
That has to be the best dialogue in a post ever Tree! Truly magnificent. Wow, wow and wow!!! Three stars!
And God help me
That's the way I found them. The only manip I did was taking some junk out of the grass in the firing squad picture.And you manipped my face onto those pics too, didn't you?
Thanks you Barb... it took a while to do but I tried to get it right...Oh shit!!!!!!
That has to be the best dialogue in a post ever Tree! Truly magnificent. Wow, wow and wow!!! Three stars!
And God help me
T
To appease the American diplomat the court appointed the finest defense barrister in the land…
…and brought in the fair and just Dutch Jurist Admi to oversee the trial.
But it really made no difference even as Bishop Draco Wragg made amost insincere plea to spare Miss Moore’s life. In a trial that lasted less than the time between lunch and afternoon tea Miss Moore was found guilty of espionage against the Crown of the English Empire and condemned to death by beheading to be conducted no later than a fortnight from her trial or soon if the queen affirms her sentence!
She is placed in a without clothing or linens in the shelf that would serve as bed to prevent Miss Moore from committing suicide before giving the headsman his turn at her neck. She is visited by a scruffy American that looks her over and says “I guess a five foot casket will do.”
“What are you going to do- stuff me in the box? I’m taller than that” Miss Moore says.
“You may be now but with you head stuck in sideways you’ll fit fine” he replies. “Besides you won’t believe how expensive premium French casket wood is.”
I lean against the wall not believing this cad’s indifference to my plight. Angrily I say “Would it be too much to spare me the details of what happens after my death?”
“Whatever- it still going happen either way” he says before he shuffles off.
I am placed in a catacomb. There are no bars but they would be redundant after irons are fixed around my wrists and ankles. I suppose a few days have passed when I am visited by Siss. She says my execution is scheduled for tomorrow and asks me if I want to wear black or red when I go to the block. I say “Why don’t you surprise me? I can’t believe these bastards are allowing me clothing!”
“They are civilized people. If it makes it easier to take, in exchange for your execution Secretary Seward was able secure British neutrality if war breaks out at home.”
“Oh you cannot believe how much better that makes me feel” I reply sarcastically.
“Barbara, I cannot do any about is to happen to you. Try and present yourself with dignity tomorrow” she admonishes. “Remember, ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country!”
“That’s easy for you to say. Your neck isn’t going to be on the block!” I shoot back.
“Are you going to watch?”
“Yes, Sister Messaline has invited me as her guest.”
“Just fucking great!”
-Miss Barbara Moore
Tree
…and brought in the fair and just Dutch Jurist Admi to oversee the trial.
But it really made no difference even as Bishop Draco Wragg made a
She is placed in a without clothing or linens in the shelf that would serve as bed to prevent Miss Moore from committing suicide before giving the headsman his turn at her neck. She is visited by a scruffy American that looks her over and says “I guess a five foot casket will do.”
“What are you going to do- stuff me in the box? I’m taller than that” Miss Moore says.
“You may be now but with you head stuck in sideways you’ll fit fine” he replies. “Besides you won’t believe how expensive premium French casket wood is.”
I lean against the wall not believing this cad’s indifference to my plight. Angrily I say “Would it be too much to spare me the details of what happens after my death?”
“Whatever- it still going happen either way” he says before he shuffles off.
I am placed in a catacomb. There are no bars but they would be redundant after irons are fixed around my wrists and ankles. I suppose a few days have passed when I am visited by Siss. She says my execution is scheduled for tomorrow and asks me if I want to wear black or red when I go to the block. I say “Why don’t you surprise me? I can’t believe these bastards are allowing me clothing!”
“They are civilized people. If it makes it easier to take, in exchange for your execution Secretary Seward was able secure British neutrality if war breaks out at home.”
“Oh you cannot believe how much better that makes me feel” I reply sarcastically.
“Barbara, I cannot do any about is to happen to you. Try and present yourself with dignity tomorrow” she admonishes. “Remember, ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country!”
“That’s easy for you to say. Your neck isn’t going to be on the block!” I shoot back.
“Are you going to watch?”
“Yes, Sister Messaline has invited me as her guest.”
“Just fucking great!”
-Miss Barbara Moore
Tree
“Barbara, I cannot do any about is to happen to you. Try and present yourself with dignity tomorrow” she admonishes. “Remember, ask not what your country can do for you butwhat you can do for your country!”
Someone Siss, is going to plagiarize that line in an inaugural address about 100 years from now. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. And it won't be a Republican either.
Someone Siss, is going to plagiarize that line in an inaugural address about 100 years from now. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. And it won't be a Republican either.
Oh shit!!!!!!
That has to be the best dialogue in a post ever Tree! Truly magnificent. Wow, wow and wow!!! Three stars!
And God help me
Well, it can't be bad, it included 'Excalibur'. You don't see that in just any old post!
At least the head is going into the same casket as the body.
Honestly, these modern, new-fangled ways.
Putting it on a spike on the battlements was good enough when I was a lad.