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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Don't you just love politicians?

Here's the comment made by one when asked about whisky:

'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then l'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then l'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise!'
 
"Do they have "traffic violation Saturday" in Italy too?"

I was driven around Rome by an Italian - how we avoided multiple collisions was a total mystery to me - I am sure if we drove like that in Britain we would have dozens of pile-ups each time we went out.
Next to the Collisseum there is a large square - everyone drove into the middle and sat there blowing their horn (the car's that is).
 
messaline said:
In the same way ...:ambulance:
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You girls! See the trouble you cause! What should we do with you? :devil:

old slave said:
Don't you just love politicians?

Here's the comment made by one when asked about whisky:

'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then l'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then l'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise!'
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That is priceless! :)
 
Jollyrei said:
Perhaps it's only on days when the Vienna State Opera is on. They do take their opera seriously there, after all, and don't need you distracting the music lovers - curtain at 7:00pm sharp, after all.
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The official dress code for attending a performance at the Vienna State Opera (found on their website).:)

"We appreciate if you would match the way you dress to the elegant setting of the opera building. Please understand that persons dressed very informally (for instance, wearing short pants or leisurewear) may be refused admission by our supervisors even though they hold valid tickets. "

Although, nothing beats the German version : :clapclap::clap2::ARMS1::clapping:

"Wir freuen uns, wenn Sie Ihre Kleidung stimmig zum eleganten Rahmen des Hauses auswählen. Bitte haben Sie Verständnis, dass Personen in allzu legerer Kleidung (etwa kurze Hosen oder Freizeitkleidung) der Zutritt durch unseren Publikums- bzw. Revisionsdienst trotz gültiger Eintrittskarte verwehrt werden kann."
 
Wragg said:
The Germans do have this no-nonsense way of putting things... but could we really get Barb to leave her Freizeitkleidungen in the drawer?

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:confus: :doh: :facepalm:
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I was going to say she should leave her kurze Hosen in the drawer, then realized she’s wearing her sehr kurze Minirock.

Faux pas averted.
 
Firefighters have issued a tongue-in-cheek safety warning after being called to a hospital to free a man who had trapped his genitals in a ring spanner.

The crew was called to the Royal Gwent Hospital in Newport, South Wales, to assist the red-faced individual.

The fire and rescue service added: "Crews from Maindee and Malpas had to release a steel ring spanner from a man who took tightening nuts to a new level …"
 
Loxuru said:
The official dress code for attending a performance at the Vienna State Opera (found on their website).:)

"We appreciate if you would match the way you dress to the elegant setting of the opera building. Please understand that persons dressed very informally (for instance, wearing short pants or leisurewear) may be refused admission by our supervisors even though they hold valid tickets. "

Although, nothing beats the German version : :clapclap::clap2::ARMS1::clapping:

"Wir freuen uns, wenn Sie Ihre Kleidung stimmig zum eleganten Rahmen des Hauses auswählen. Bitte haben Sie Verständnis, dass Personen in allzu legerer Kleidung (etwa kurze Hosen oder Freizeitkleidung) der Zutritt durch unseren Publikums- bzw. Revisionsdienst trotz gültiger Eintrittskarte verwehrt werden kann."
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This sounds exactly like the instructions I got when I was summoned for federal jury duty recently (fortunately for me, there was apparently a plea agreement and I didn't have to show up 60 miles away at 7:30 AM for a week). You didn't pay for a ticket, of course, but you didn't have any choice about showing up, either. (Maybe that's what happened to the guy on the bicycle hung on the lampost? He violated the dress code?)
 
Frank Petrexa said:
This sounds exactly like the instructions I got when I was summoned for federal jury duty recently (fortunately for me, there was apparently a plea agreement and I didn't have to show up 60 miles away at 7:30 AM for a week). You didn't pay for a ticket, of course, but you didn't have any choice about showing up, either. (Maybe that's what happened to the guy on the bicycle hung on the lampost? He violated the dress code?)
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I was not degraded... embarrassed a bit but not degraded...
 
madiosi said:
Firenze 2004
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As a teenager, I traveled to "Firenze" with my parents. I still remember the guy in the hotel van barreling down a one-lane alley filled with people selling stuff, horn blaring. I saw a traffic accident at an intersection in "Napoli", too. No one had been hurt (yet), but both drivers were out of the car and waving fists. I guess intimidation and dexterity work just as well as elaborate traffic controls and police. I hope nobody drives drunk.
 
Finally!
After years of effort, the professor had at last succeeded in his goal of breeding a headless sex slave!
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He's obviously not a member here
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