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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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old slave

FELIS RESPICIENS
I realise the youngsters only read comics, and us old farts have poor eyesight, but here's an old-fashioned long joke.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of
Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and
long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far
from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the
drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever
having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It
was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People
(HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical
Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish
with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no
one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum
dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in
the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work
only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or
eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects
what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot
Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to
locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating
Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
I realise the youngsters only read comics, and us old farts have poor eyesight, but here's an old-fashioned long joke.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of
Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and
long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far
from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the
drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever
having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It
was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People
(HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical
Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish
with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no
one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum
dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in
the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work
only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or
eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects
what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot
Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to
locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating
Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.
Fascinating Story, Old Slave. But I didn't find a single joke?

For those interested, the origins of the British expression Twatt
main-qimg-e96152c0d71cf8cad51e6919de128abd.jpg
This village in the Scottish Islands of Orkney, had an unusually high number of idiots (traditionally, villages have only one, though in Scotland, it is an established fact that many have multiple idiots who are indistinguishable from the other inhabitants) This phenomenon was so marked that locally “Twatt” became a colloquialism for “idiot”. The industrial revolution and the age of steam enabled the easy movement of subjects within the United kingdom and of course their euphemisms travelled with them. In England “Twatt” was Anglicised and became “twat.”
In the modern age, all this has changed, with many Scottish villages being totally bereft of idiots. The salaries Holyrood offers for MSP's are just too attractive!
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
Fascinating Story, Old Slave. But I didn't find a single joke?

For those interested, the origins of the British expression Twatt
View attachment 820518
This village in the Scottish Islands of Orkney, had an unusually high number of idiots (traditionally, villages have only one, though in Scotland, it is an established fact that many have multiple idiots who are indistinguishable from the other inhabitants) This phenomenon was so marked that locally “Twatt” became a colloquialism for “idiot”. The industrial revolution and the age of steam enabled the easy movement of subjects within the United kingdom and of course their euphemisms travelled with them. In England “Twatt” was Anglicised and became “twat.”
In the modern age, all this has changed, with many Scottish villages being totally bereft of idiots. The salaries Holyrood offers for MSP's are just too attractive!
been there, got the t-shirt.
actually, it's the Orkney Norn form of Norse Þveit, a clearing in the heather.
 
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